The Path of the Mage
by MouseMage
Summary: Amilia returns to the Circle from the final battle. It's the only place she has left that gives her meaning. Until fate gives her another reason. Six years later her future and the future of others hangs in the balance, can she trust her again?
1. The World is like a Bottomless Glass

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own Dragon Age, it is all Biowares and their awesome team of writers. _

_**Spoilers:** Through to end game, possibly The Stolen Throne and The Calling_

_**Author's Note:** Got to the end of my first play through and thought about the mage origin extensively. I thought what would happen if my Amell returned, how would that effect Cullen and their relationship. _

_**Backstory:** Amell and Cullen before she leaves for the Wardens are friends. She betrays Jowan and Lily. She Romances Alistair but makes him King at the Landsmeet. She also sides with Bhelen, the Lady of the Forest, Caridin and the Mages for the main quests, however Irving dies. She saves Conner from the Fade, Arl Eamon with the Ashes but persuades them to let Jowan go. She allows Alistair to kill Loghain and he takes the throne alone. Morrigan's ritual is done but not according to the game. Amell befriends all the characters though not all will appear. _

_So here we go ... my first fanfic ... ever_

Chapter One: The Day the World is like a Bottomless Glass

Cullen stood on watch looking into space. The day had been uneventful since the majority of the mages had gone to Denerim. They were to help with the final battle against the arch demon and since its defeat were slowly trickling back to the tower. Very few had returned but enough that the Circle was beginning to return to its previous state of calm and peace. Cullen could understand their reluctance. In the months that followed the Circle's return to normalcy before the call to war the tower was under intense scrutiny. Cullen scowled. He wished it had been different after its fall, but _she_ had chosen to save the mages instead of killing them all. He wished they had died then maybe he could have had a restful nights sleep instead of waking in a cold sweat, but he knew _she_ would never endanger others without reason. He sighed at his own thoughts, he hated how even after all that had happened he still thought she made the right decision, even if at the moment he felt she had betrayed him.

_Damn it she hadn't though _he said to himself.

She had done what was right, as far as he knew; she had come to save her family, the only one she had ever known since coming to the Circle. _Damn it_. Even after what had happened he still couldn't understand what his mind thought about her. Had he loved her? Was it just a lustful desire? Did he truly even know her? Then he would remember how her eyes had betrayed her when he spouted off his feelings. They looked shocked, then hurt and then angry. But even then he had scorned her away, the stupid fancies of a naïve boy; she had turned to her blonde companion then. Afterwards he had believed that was part of the demons trick, until the cage fell and he knew she had truly retuned. The endless questions and the endless silence plagued at him and he knew his attempts at understanding it were pointless. He would never know how she felt and why would he want to? She was a mage.

He breathed in deeply. There was no use thinking about it now. She was gone now, if not from the Circle, from him anyway. The 'blonde companion' she had been with and with the group of odd and strange companions, she was with them now. The blonde one had turned out to be the King, The King, of all people. _Damn him_. Did he even know how lucky he was? He didn't have vows, he didn't have restrictions, he could, could touch her, even innocently. He could be her friend, he could make her laugh and be with her outside the tower. How could Cullen compare to him?

_I should not dwell on this_, he thought. He shook his head and tried to settle back onto his watch but he was troubled by the sudden sound of laughing and battering of doors down the hall. He looked to the door where the approaching sounds were coming from. He certainly didn't expect what he next saw as the door flung open.

Two small figures trying to hold a third, _her_, up as they stumbled around the hallway.

"Zev … Zev help me here will you, I can't hold her much longer," muttered the dwarf, "_by the stone_ she's heavier than she looks".

The dwarf winced as she leaned onto him, completely comatose. Cullen just looked at her, a huge smile across her face, but asleep, completely asleep, _what was _wrong_ with her?_ He felt he should move but the anger he felt held him back and he remained stoic.

"Oghren, you really should take your time you've … hic … hardly been keeping yourself at full strength," came the exotic voice of the elf. "Please let me take the fair maiden from your arms."

They clambered into the hallway and swayed trying to hold up the completely inebriated mage as they walked towards one of the rooms. The smell of ale was becoming apparent to Cullen, _now_ he understood what was wrong with her.

"And have her wake up to the likes of you … in her bed … I'd rather face the arch demon again than have her come and hunt me down. I may be a drunk but I'm not stupid," he grasped the mage with both hands and tried to throw her over his shoulders. He failed and she bounced off his shoulder and back into his arms.

"Right which is her room?" he said gruffly looking at the doors through one eye.

Cullen looked at them through his helm. _Was the question directed at him?_

"Oi! Chantry boy!" the red-headed dwarf yelled.

_Obviously it had been_. He moved forward, the elf gave him a quizzical look, just realising he was there.

"It's the third on the right," Cullen said, pointing to the correct door. When he thought about it, it had barely been her room more than a day before she has left and joined the Grey Wardens but the mages had moved all the belongings that she had left into her newly acquired status expecting her return.

"Well then, if you could help us, Chantry boy we'd be much appreciated. Myself and the Elf". Oghren sighed as he tried to keep Amilia's head up while trying and failing to hold her up, her feet dragging behind him.

"Elf … is that what I am now …" he scoffed. Cullen couldn't quite place his lifting accent but he knew it wasn't Orlesian.

"It's what you are!" he turned to Cullen "we… can't really hold this one that well … too many legs and all …

He stammered on … but Cullen was already being handed her. He reached forward and took her in his arms before the dwarf dropped her. He looked to the dwarf; eyes wide as the two men turned and staggered off, leaving her with him.

"You're leaving her here?" he exclaimed.

"You've got strong arms she'll be fine with you. Make sure she's actually in bed before you leave her. If we're not back, tell her we'll be at the Princess," the dwarf replied him, looking over his shoulder at Cullen. He and the elf continued walking towards the way they had come.

"Unfortunately her ladyship cannot hold much liquor. Besides I have an appointment with a fair bar maiden to get back to and my dear dwarf friend here has a drinking contest to win." He smiled as he slapped the dwarf on the back.

The dwarf laughed and they turned and left Cullen holding the sweet smelling mage in his arms.

Cullen's face darkened as they staggered away. _Typical_, he thought. He looked at the small form in his arms. Her face so content and peaceful there was no hint of the battle she had been through on her face in the dim light. He signed and cursed silently, and made his way to the door, he did not like this but he had no choice. He laid her gently onto the bed and looked at her, her face now creased and her forehead scrunched, she was thinking about something, something important. Then her face relaxed and tears came to her eyes and he felt something he hadn't felt since she left. He pushed it aside and placed the blanket over her then left the room. He would have to inform Greagoir about this and eventually Wynne. Before he closed the door he looked to the bed once more, she mumbled a few words but they were incoherent to him. He signed again, just as things seemed at least calm and peaceful she had to show up. He would deal with this tomorrow, there was no point in dwelling on it now, it wasn't as if he would sleep now even after his duty.

~v~

Amilia groaned. The night's activities weighed heavily on her temples. She growled in annoyance as she felt the sickening feeling in her stomach.

_Ugh why? Why did I challenge the dwarf _again?

She slowly opened her eyes, winching as the daylight streamed through her window. Another day and she was still alive, not that it mattered whether she lived or died she didn't care as long as the pain stopped. She felt her way about the bed, wondering who exactly had put her to bed. Fear suddenly gripped her but she soon relaxed, she was fully clothed and no-one was with her. She cursed herself for thinking otherwise and relaxed back into the bed. It was more likely that it would be Zevran next to her and no-one else, though she could trust that nothing would have happen if it had been him. She sighed as she remembered the conversations last night. It had all but been the same evening since she had left Denerim, walking home to the Circle visiting most of the Inns on the way back. Zev and Oghren had insisted they come with her once she had told them of her plan. Neither had pressed the matter of her reasons for leaving but they refused to let their fearless leader go on alone. Zevran had known of course but he never said anything and she was grateful for that, no amount of talking about it was going to change anything.

The usual _How dare he? What was I thinking? I can't believe he asked me to do that? Who the hell did she think she was? Betrayal! Bastard! Bitch! I love you guys! Zev I knew should've jumped in the tent with you!_ … the usual and never-ending conversation as she tried to mourn her losses.

She furrowed her brow, an unanswered question lay on her mind and also the panic that now began to grow in her belly.

_How did they get back to the tower_ she thought? _How did they even know what room was her own? _

She slowly got up and walked to the bathroom area and washed her face, her head began to swim in a haze of fog. She gripped the bowl, as she felt the room spin and groaned. _Why couldn't things be easier to forget?_ Her concentration was interrupted when her door flew open with a large bang. She groaned as its echo clattered in her brain painfully.

"Where the _hell_ have you been?" the older mages voice shrilled.

Amilia winched but smiled, it had been a few weeks since she had heard that familiar voice. She turned and looked at her old mentor and companion.

_Better face the music now_, she thought.

"It's good to see you Wynne."

The calmness of her voice surprised not only herself but the other mage. Wynne stopped, smile and suddenly pulled Amilia to her, hugging her tightly.

"Have you _any_ idea how worried we have been?" she scolded into Amilia's long blonde hair. "I've been sick to worry since Alistair and Leliana told me you had left Denerim three weeks ago. _Where have you been?_" she added pulling away to look at her.

Wynne saw the younger mage winch and then smile at the mention of the others.

"What happened?" refusing to remove her grasp until she got something out of her.

"I don't want to talk about it Wynne. Not yet anyway." Amilia pulled away and sighed her eyes landing on anything except Wynne's piercing gaze.

"I'm home, that's all that matters now and I'm not leaving. I heard you needed help in rebuilding and that's why I'm here. I don't belong anywhere else." She finally met her gaze and offered her mentor a small smile.

Wynne looked at her. Something had happened to change her mind about things, be it maturity or the realisation of responsibility; it had caught up with her.

"Very well. I won't press you for now, I'm glad you're safe. I've had so many letters to see if you have returned or if I'd heard from you."

Ami nodded as she felt her temples rage on. Her boys weren't about so she asked.

"Where are Zev and Oghren? I don't remember much of last night" she said as her hands went to her temples again.

The older mage scoffed.

"I'm not surprised. Those two! They took you all the way back from the Princess and dumped you with poor Cullen before returning. I suspect they're still there now."

Ami's face went red and her smile dropped. _He _had put her to bed!

"What do you mean they dumped me with Cullen?" she asked, unsure if she really wanted to know the answer.

At that point someone knocked before she could answer and Wynne called to enter. It was Cullen that entered.

_Oh Maker strike me down … please … anything but this …_she begged as Cullen began to speak. She didn't look at him and almost glued her gaze to the floor willing the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

"Your dwarf friend asked me to help you to your room. You were asleep and he was struggling to carry you there. I picked you up and then they both left. I placed you in your room and then returned to my duties."

_Please Maker … Andraste … ANYONE … anything but this. He just HAD to see me like that!_

Ami could feel her face burning, whether either of them noticed was another matter. She glanced up to Cullen his voice was very matter of fact about it and restrained. Ami now noticed that he was refusing to look at her directly and instead looked at something behind her. She understood why and it pained at her heart. _She_ was the one that had restored the Circle; _she_ had saved the mages, the mages that could have been possessed by blood magic, and the blood magic that had killed his friends and nearly broke him. She had caused him so much pain and had never even had the chance to explain herself. She did not deserve to be called his friend not after what had happened. It was _her_ decision, _her_ burden to bear and she understood his rage and anger because she would be the same if in his stead.

She swallowed hard. Then there were the dormant feelings about him, before she had found him in that Maker forsaken cage, before he had spouted his own desires and before Alis …

_Stop thinking about it Amilia,_ she cursed herself silently. _You are a fool and a pretty dam gullible one at that, have you forgotten already how well that turned out. _Her voice betrayed her however.

"H … hello Cullen," she finally said, her face burned slightly redder and she quickly, looked at the floor and tried to regain her composure but she knew he had noticed. His expression didn't change much only softening slightly as he grunted on.

"I told Greagoir and Wynne you were here after that," he continued.

Wynne thanked him and he excused himself talking about duties that he needed to attend to. When he was gone Amilia face dropped she looked at Wynne.

"Tell me what happened?" her face was wrought with worry. She put her hand on Amilia's shoulder, her eyes looking for answers in Amilia's face.

"Does it matter what happened," she began quietly. "You were right Wynne. I was so stupid, so selfish to think things would be different."

She shrugged off Wynne's hand turned away and looked to the window. She heard Wynne sigh deeply and she knew that meant, it was a sign of acknowledgement. Amilia clenched her fists, _damn it_. She had just admitted it, she was a failure, and she had been a fool to let herself be ruled by her emotions by idle fantasy and dreams. _Damn it_.

"I came home … be … because I have no where else to go. Because you need me and…and I need this. I have nothing else Wynne. Please, please let me stay."

She was pleading, begging Wynne not to turn her away. She needed a reason to stay; she needed something, she needed a purpose and something she could build on for the future.

"Amilia Amell, you are always welcome here. This is your home and you know I'm right when I say this. You can take the mage out of the Circle but you can't take the Circle out of the mage." She smiled warmly.

Amilia laughed, it had been a while since she had a good reason to laugh soberly.

"Thank you Wynne. I'm so grateful to be home."

~v~


	2. The Day the World Begins Again

Chapter Two: The Day the World begins Again

Things had been quiet since Ami had come home.

_Home_. She had never thought she would _ever_ call the tower that. The Gilded Cage.

She mainly busied herself with the daily task of running her classes, spending time with Wynne, Zev and Oghren. She was surprised how much she was enjoying teaching the young apprentices and even more surprised at the leniency of Greagoir since her return. On her way to the dining hall she had even began to have occasional brief talks with Cullen.

Cullen she thought. The _brief_ talks were mainly her passing by his post and saying hello, good morning, how are you? Nothing solid. Nothing like before her Harrowing where rumours had flew around the tower, they had been quite good friends, well, as friendly as any mage and templar could be.

She sighed and stretched, the day had been long and uneventful, her young charges sapping her of energy. She yawned and looked out her study window. The days were darkening and autumn would soon be arriving signalling the end of the year. She had been back at the tower for just over three weeks resuming her duties as a Circle mage. The Wardens had finally found her after her disappearing act and she had received questions from them about the final battle. She replied, answering their questions and had told them she would continue her duties as a Grey Warden and seek recruits both within and surrounding the Circle. She made it clear however, that for the time being her place was at the Circle but if they had need of her she would not refuse their call.

She found it hard to keep her eyes open and she was surprised at how tired she was. It slightly troubled her but she wasn't about to let it get her down, _it's probably a cold_ she told herself. She had, of course, been through worse than a spell of exhaustion. She wanted desperately to talk to someone other than her three companions and decided to seek Cullen out. She sighed and sunk into her chair. It was time she tore the scab off the wound and talked to him. She pushed herself up gathered her staff, placing it on her back and walked towards the door. A sudden stream of nausea plagued her for a moment and she clasped her hand over her mouth. She stepped into the hall and steadied herself on the nearby wall. She pressed passed it and mentally settled her stomach_. It definitely must be a sickness bug, it has been going around the tower_, she mused. It was time; she needed to have her friend again, despite how she was feeling.

She found him in the Upper library. Of all places, it would have to be his most favourite place, she thought. Here he had spent his time watching her, even when he thought she didn't notice instead of doing his real duty. She looked around the floor and the two floors above, watching to see if there were any other mages or Templar's in the library. Thankfully he seemed to be the only one and she approached him slowly, taking care not to startle him. There was nothing more dangerous than startling a Templar, especially an edgy one.

"Evening Cullen," she began, giving him a friendly smile.

"Evening Amilia," he replied, tipping his head towards her.

Ami turned to him and cocked her head.

"Cullen why do have to call me Amilia, Ami is fine; you used to call me that."

She sat down at a table near the doorway, placing her staff on the back of the chair before spinning around and looking at the shelf behind her. She glanced at Cullen's reaction as gave him permission to call her by the nickname. His face flushed and he seemed to scowl slightly at his actions. Ami only caught a glimpse of the flushed skin at the base of his helm and smiled. The shift in his weight revealed that he was unsure of how to react but it didn't bother her too much, she would take it slow.

"Ami …" he began.

"It's much less formal don't you think? And it makes me seem more approachable to the younger mages. You _did _used to call me that, remember," she remarked not looking at him. She finally found a large tome and sat near him.

"I remember but Wynne calls you Amilia," he said.

Ami chuckled "Yes, but its Wynne," she muttered, "she's like my grandmother _and_ First Enchanter now. She has to call me Amilia; it's the only way she can get me to act seriously around her and the other senior mages." She laughed.

_That laugh_, Cullen thought. _That beautiful singing laugh_.

In the three weeks she had been back she had acted like things had never changed between them but she was wrong. Things had changed. She was now Wynne's second, she was a Grey Warden and he had changed too. She was able to leave when she wished due to her status yet after the final battle she returned, she came 'home' she had said. She confused him. His mind wondered what must have happened to her 'friend' that would cause her to leave Denerim three days after the final battle, two days after the Kings coronation and then take two weeks to travel back to the Circle. Even with stops to every Inn on the way back it still wouldn't have taken that long, unless she had other reasons to delay her return. She puzzled him, she had indeed changed but there were still things about her that hadn't.

He looked at her closely through his helm. The Blight had darkened her some of her features, a few lines had grown but only appeared when she was in a state of worry or deep in concentration. Her long blonde hair had grown long past her shoulders since the last time he saw it but still he found it beautiful. It shaped her face, even when one of the curls went rogue. Her loose blonde curls were beautiful against her long slender features and her eyes. _Maker_. They still stopped his heart, and caught his breath in an instant depending on the look she gave. Those blue-gray eyes that might shine in the moonlight, not that he'd ever seen her in moonlight but _Maker_ she would look beautiful. He felt his helm was beginning to become too hot, sweat dripping down the back of his neck. He couldn't take it any longer and took it off. He silently cursed himself; he shouldn't think these things anymore it was because of her that the mages still lived. He battled his anger but her compassion, the thing that reverberated off her, had softened his hatred be it slightly. He had been so angry after the coup, so angry they had him on high doses of Lyrium until he had calmed down. He hated the vile stuff and vowed never to take it again after that, he would deal with his anger and fear without it.

He reminded himself again and again that she had saved them. She had saved them all; she had united the lands against an impossible force, settled a dwarven election, found the resting place of Andraste herself, saved a nobleman, elected the rightful King and then saved the world from an arch demon. She had done so much and what had he done, stood in the tower in his own misery and paranoia. He had let his anger and fear control him and he loathed how weak he had become. She had faced more evil than anyone should and all he could do was remain angry at her in spite of her choices.

She looked up to him as he removed his helm and smiled. That dam smile again and he couldn't help but blush and smile back. She had pulled out a piece of parchment and had begun scribbling as he had been watching her and she had kept glancing up, mouth half-opened about to speak but no words came out. He should say _something_; he thought and after a few agonising moments spoke.

"How ar .. are y-y-your n-new charges?" _dam stutter_, he thought.

She smiled at him and turned in the chair to talk to him. She went on about one of the young boys she had to take, talking about his behaviour and how she had asked Wynne for guidance about it. She told him that she felt more the pupil than him and that she wasn't sure if her method were wrong or if her pupil just needed time. She sighed again and looked up to him and then asked him something he wasn't expecting.

"What do you think Cullen?" she asked.

She was asking his opinion, a mage asking a templar of his opinion on the training of another mage. He wasn't sure how or even if he wanted to answer and she seemed to see this.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have asked that, you probably don't want to answer that"

She went back to being quiet and as she turned to read he sighed. He decided there that he was a templar and she a mage; she was his charge regardless of the past. She was helping restore and build for the future what was the harm in helping her? Maker if they didn't help each other how on Thedas would they be able to help each other with something more serious maker forbid.

"How old is he?"

She stopped scribbling and turned, her eyes unsure whether to continue until she had decided.

"Six … I think, he's not really sure when his birthday is."

"Why not have your hound come to your classes. I remember when I was around that age I loved dogs." He offered.

Her face beamed, _how did she not think of that before._ Before Cullen realised she had even stood she was there hugging him tightly, inches from his face. He could feel the blood running to his face and looked down to see her head on his chest. Anger, fear, dread, regret and longing flooded through his mind why was she doing this to him again? _Dear Maker_, if someone walked in now. His mind screamed but his heart yearned to draw her closer. As soon as it had begun it was over and she apologized.

"Oh Maker … I'm sorry Cullen I-I-I shouldn't have …" her hand covered her mouth and she quickly looked to see if anyone saw. She looked to the floor, her head in her hands cursing.

"N-n-no it … it's al-alright I," he coughed, "you just surprised me, ahem." He shifted his feet and stance.

What was he saying, of course it was wrong. _She's a mage and I'm a Templar, if anyone saw that … if Greagoir saw that_. He shook his head, why of all things would the Maker send her to torment him … again.

"Still … I feel bad for it. I-I-I'm going to go get a few books and then I think I shall head to my chamber." Cullen saw her face flush as she turned away. He felt a cocktail for feelings well up and then suppressed by his training.

_Self control Cullen, self control. _

Ami turned and began to climb the ladder. She wanted an interesting book to distract her from the increasing heat that was rising from her toes to her chest and cheeks. Why was talking to him so distracting? She shook her head and looked to the rows of books; she tried to pull one of the larger volumes from the shelf. It was just out of reach of her finger tips and they clawed at the spine. She frowned and leaned her weight back on the ladder. Again she felt another wave of nausea hit her this time more strongly, enough for her to become disorientated and almost faint by its abruptness. She gripped a tighter hold on the supports of the ladder and waited, suddenly feeling tired and the urge to vomit continuously. She remembered only ever felt ill like this once and it was during her herbalist and poison sessions with Zevran. She had accidently inhaled some of the venom and spent the next day in her tent violently vomiting. This time the nausea was more violent and coming in waves, she gripped tighter on the rails, her knuckles white and knelt. She groaned as the waves of nausea cascaded over her stomach.

"Are you alright my lady?" asked Cullen.

Ami heard the hint of concern in his voice as he noticed her apparent distress. She swallowed hard and looked to him and then smiled.

"I'm fine Cullen, thank you. I think I'm just feeling a bit under the weather, I'll be fine in a few minutes." She smiled and he seemed to take her excuse but stayed close.

She called a bit of healing magic to help soothe her nausea but before she felt any effects of her power she felt a twang of something else. It was something that was not quite there and yet, completely there. It was as if there was another presence nearby that she had overlooked and only now revealed itself. Her eyes darted around the room seeking demons, darkspawn or any foul abomination that might have been a threat but none surfaced. She tried to stretch out her Warden senses but nothing came out of the shadows around her.

Cullen was looking at her with intense concern, his eyes refusing to let go of her expression. First it had been as if she had been a hare on sentry, then questioning as if something she sensed puzzled her and then, as she turned to him, she gasped at the realisation of what the was wrong.

"Makers Breath!" she gasped, "I _can't _be?" she looked to Cullen and he saw fear in her eyes.

"Cullen you're going to have to …" but before she could finish her body went rigid and her eyes rolled and she was _falling_.

Complete and utter exhaustion took over and she fell from the ladder. Cullen surged forward and quickly caught her. Her body was shaking, her hands clammy and stiff as he set her gently down. He remembered bellowing for his brothers to come and barking orders to get Wynne and Greagoir. His face was set on hers until they arrived. He watched as her skin turned a very grey colour but then pinked quite quickly again. Her body was hot, sweating and she was trembling and he quickly loosened her top button to allow her to breathe more easily.

_What was taking Wynne so bloody long?_ He asked himself.

He cradled her in his arms until she arrived making sure that she was still breathing and that there was no obvious demon or fade activity. To his surprise there was none. The veil did not ripe open, no demons attacked him and she didn't act like the demon who had tormented him, she just lay their in some sort of shock in his arms.

"What happened?"

Cullen snapped back to reality at the sharp voice of Wynne. She quickly knelt beside Cullen and asked him to place her down gently.

"I don't know. One minute she was fine and the next she was disoriented and unbalanced. If I hadn't been closer she would have fallen and ..." Cullen didn't finish as he watched the mage.

Wynne's face was tense and she looked back at Cullen and asked if she had said anything.

"No … well … all she said was she was feeling a bit under the weather and then she was about to ask me something and then collapsed. Why? What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I need time to examine her further take her to the infirmary for me." She nodded, standing up and addressed the other templar's. "You can all stand down; there is no treat of demons and abominations being brought through the veil."

"I am the one who will decide if it's a threat or not," another voice snapped.

Wynne turned to see Knight Commander Greagoir standing in the doorway his arms folded glaring at her. Cullen watched as Wynne met his gaze full on, unlike Irving Wynne argued until she was blue in the face and he didn't know if she did it just to spite the Knight-Commander or not.

"I don't know what is wrong with her yet I need time to examine her further Greagoir. Send some of your Templar's with me if you see fit but I will not let her lie here becoming weaker by the minute."

Wynne shot him a look as she argued with him and he nodded in agreement.

"Cullen," Greagoir pointed at him, "you and Bryn," his pointed finger indicating the templar next to him, "go along and keep an eye out for activity. I will not have this Circle have demons stalking the halls again under my watch do you understand?"

Cullen and Bryn nodded. Cullen, his arms filled with Ami's body felt a tinge of fear as he looked on her pale face. Her hair was now soaked and her body limp as they marched off to the infirmary.

Greagoir had them stay until he sent others to replace them. They continued to watch her for four days and in that time nothing happened, the veil did not tare, no demons or abominations awoke and stalked the halls, nothing. Yet Cullen was not at ease, fear of the previous attack haunted his mind and he resolved that he would kill her regardless of how much pain it would cause him. He would not let her hurt more people. Yet when he glanced through the door at her his heart sank, she would never allow herself to become one of them would she? She defeated the arch demon, she had done all those things, she was strong and he knew that. Wynne had barely slept and by Ami's side and slumped in chairs next to her bed were her two friends the elf and the dwarf. Artie, her hound had taken up post beside Cullen. The Templar thought it most strange, he knew the breed had unflinching loyalty yet he was not at his master's side. He assumed that the hound was just standing watching, waiting for any response from his master, little did he know that Artie was actually watching him instead. There were moments when she seemed to stir and mumble names and places but nothing that Cullen recognised, until one night while Cullen was on watch alone he heard her mumble his name. Bryn had been struck ill and Greagoir had been unable to replace him that night.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he could not help but turn and look at her. A smile came across her face as she said his name again and Cullen thought he saw the slightest blush. She was so vulnerable at that moment; it was hard for him to believe that she had killed an arch demon.

She whispered on, "I'm sorry Cullen, I'm sorry for what happened. I didn't mean to hurt you, to hurt anyone, I'm sorry please don't blame them, don't blame what the Maker made us."

Her face was pained and she let out a howl and tears welled up in her eyes. She began to stir again but this time awoke slowly, groaning and stretching her arms out. She brushed passed Wynne's arm, waking the woman with a smile. Cullen turned back to his stance, thanking the Maker silently.

"Thank the Maker! I thought you would never wake up!" Wynne exclaimed.

"Nice to see you Wynne, what happened?" she croaked and tried to pull herself up into a sitting position. Weakness in her arms forced her to re-consider and after a moment she tried again.

"Now don't move much, I think you have some explaining to do. I think you know very well what happened young lady! Just," … she looked at the elf and dwarf, both of whom were still asleep and whispered, "… Just when were you thinking of telling me about the baby?"

Cullen felt he had been kicked in the chest. A baby? Ami was going to have a baby?

"I," she began, her voice shaking "… I only found out before I blacked out. Or fainted? What happened?"

She spoke very quietly, her head dropped to her chest and all of her confidence seemed to disappear. Cullen had never seen her like that. Ami always had confidence in abundance, but who couldn't be worried about what she was going to go through. _Was_ going through Cullen corrected himself. He knew what happened if a mage fell pregnant and he didn't doubt she knew.

"I'm not quite sure, I think it has something to do with the taint in your blood but I don't know I need to do some research. One thing I must know Amilia and I must know this. Is Alistair the father?" Wynne looked at her sternly.

"Like you need to ask that question Wynne!" her face darkened and she choked back a sob, "… But … Yes. He is the father."

Cullen saw the pain and ache that reached across Ami's face at the mention of the King. She started to cry and buried her face in her hands; Wynne's tough exterior gave way to a softer more calming demure and she wrapped her arms around Ami's shoulders.

"I-I-I never thought, I k-knew Grey Wardens could have children but two, together, the odds were impossible." She cried as Wynne held her.

"Is this why you left Denerim?" Wynne asked her stroking her hair. Ami shook her head, and turned to Wynne, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"N-no … no. I left for other reasons but Wynne you have to promise me, you must promise me you won't tell him. You can't. It would damage him, the Circle, me and the baby. Promise me you won't?"

She gripped Wynne's hands begging her pleading her not to tell the King about her pregnancy. Wynne's face seemed to harden again and looked sick.

"I can't believe you would want to deceive him Amilia! _You_ of all people and from something of this significance, you _know_ his thoughts about family! How can I not tell him, he is our _King_!" she scowled at her and then sighed. "Besides he already knows you are here, he will be here in two days and you are in no fit state to go anywhere and don't you even think of trying it. I'll have Cullen pin you down before I see you run before you even talk to him about this!"

Wynne walked out and left Ami alone with the drunken duo still asleep. Cullen later entered and ousted them out. Realising that she was fine the two obeyed and left her. Cullen remained, his eyes fixed on the end of the bed.

"You must think I'm awful Cullen," she began.

He stayed silent for a moment pondering his response, his training and Chantry upbringing screaming judgement but his nature wanted to understand her reasons. He did know her well enough but he knew she wouldn't do something without thinking about the consequences. Finally he spoke she is quite taken aback.

"He. He must have done something that made you leave Denerim. For you to walk out on the man you … you love there must have been more to it than that. I know you wouldn't have done it lightly."

He finally looked up to her face properly. It was all splotchy from crying but even then he found her round face sweet and inviting. She nodded and swallowed hard.

"I made him King" she whispers, "_I made him King_!" with a little more venom. "Knowing that I could never be with him after that." She began playing with her hair as she spoke, a trait he'd often seen when she was trying to concentrate.

"He told me. He told me in-front of _everyone_ that we couldn't be together. Everyone Cullen! No but I-I expected that. But I wasn't expecting what he said in private, after the final battle. After _Morrigan_ and the arch demon and everything." She clenched her hands and held them in her lap, _best not to think about Morrigan_, she thought.

"What did he do Ami?" he said gently and she glanced up at him. She smiled that he called her that but it was short lived.

"I knew. I knew he'd have to find a wife and produce an heir. I knew that. But he asked me. He _asked me_ to stay and be with him like, like a hidden lover in the dark. He begged me to stay and be with him but I couldn't. I couldn't let what we have," she scowled, "_had_, be kept in the dark like it was wrong. I didn't want half a life with him I wanted completeness, I-I wanted _him_. I didn't want him sneaking between two beds living half a life with me in the dark and another in the open. Neither of us would've been happy, at least apart we could forget, not that it would happen but I could hope. We could _try_ to make our own happiness."

There was a long silence between them. Ami shifted in the bed and looked to Cullen, her eyes desperate for some answers or resolution, to be told she was selfish, that she was wrong, right, anything.

After what felt like an age, Cullen sighed and put his hand on her shoulder. She shrank back a little at his touch but relaxed after a few moments.

"You stood by what you believed was right Ami. You chose to leave, at the expense of your own heart for the greater good. I know that Kings have had women as their secrets but you, you cannot be a secret. You are the Hero of Ferelden. If he truly knew you he would know that you are something that cannot be hidden away while he played King. But I-I agree with Wynne. He should know about the baby. You at least owe him that amount."

With that she cried again, holding his hand on her shoulder. Why? Why was it always a Templar that made her feel better she thought?

She looked up to Cullen through the tears. He smiled back at her.

"No matter what happens. I am your templar I will be hear to defend you from any harm be it demon or man. We'll see that you and the child are safe either way."

She smiled back at him.

"I don't want to return to Denerim, or anywhere else. I don't want my child to be in the public eye or be taken by the Chantry. They will never be safe. Never! The fact that it is Alistair's child, that they could have magic, that it may even cause problems with the Chantry. Maker knows what else! I _will not_, I _cannot_ allow that. My child will live free of them, free of the shadows that we lived under."

"I can understand that. But Ami, he deserves to know. Maybe together you can work something for your child to live this freedom that you wish but alone you will be hunted, by him, others and yourself."

Ami sighed, he was right. She looked up to him and smiled at him.

"Since when did my Cullen become such an optimist and wizened?" she asked slyly.

"I try my best, my lady. I only hope it helps." With that he bowed and returned to his post, turning to smile at her as he walked away. The next few days would be interesting.


	3. Fight or Flight

Chapter Three: Fight or Flight

Ami walked steadily back to her study, after another day in the infirmary Wynne had allowed her to return to 'light' duties. She wasn't to practice magic until she had recovered and so was restricted to paper work while her classes were handed over to another mage. Ami had protested but Wynne's icy glare had silenced that. She was determined not to be defeated and more importantly bored. So she decided on finding a mountain of books on the Grey Wardens and more importantly the taint.

She sighed, she hated being taken care of and coddled. As her mind drifted and her view of the hallway blocked by the tower of books she carried she practically walked into Cullen shoulder as she turned the corner. Both of them had turned at the same time and met each other with a thump, though Cullen remained standing. Ami, on the other hand, was sent back flying and she cursed, loudly, at the pain in her shoulder. It hurt and would bruise but it would be fine, eventually. Her barely covering robes did not provide much cushioning against plate metal and the floor and the two combined did not usually end well. Though there were exceptions. She hushed away the thoughts that pattered through her brain. She sat up and looked around to see her tower of books scattered along the floor of the hallway and Cullen, still standing, offering only a look of fright and relief.

"I-I'm sorry, a-are you alright?" he stepped towards her and let out a hand.

"N-no I-I'm fine. Sorry … I should've been looking where I was going. Silly me," she blushed, taking his hand as he pulled her to her feet.

"Do you need any help?" He asked but he was already picking up books as she replied.

"Y-you don't have to do that you know, but thank you," again she smiled at him.

"Well you can't carry all of these on you own and expect not to fall or walk into someone again. I'll carry a few for you. Save you the embarrassment of walking into someone else." He joked.

She laughed, "Thank you Cullen. You are a great help."

With a bundle of books in hand they slowly walked towards the chambers. After a few moments of awkward silence Cullen sighed and finally picked up the courage to talk to her.

"So, how are you feeling?" he asked, glancing to her face and then her stomach.

"Well I feel fine. Wynne has told me to refrain from using my talents. She thinks that was the main cause for my exhaustion," she smiled "but other than restricting me to paperwork and my thoughts. I'm finding myself bored indeed." She remarked her eyes lowering to the ground or something far off.

"Ah … I wondered why you felt differently." He remarked.

"Excuse me?" Amilia stopped suddenly and looked at him raising her eyebrow at him, "I _feel_ different?"

Cullen's ears reddened as much as his hair. His mouth was opened to protest, his eyes wide. _Panic_

"I-I-I didn't mean it like that I-I. Dear woman!" he paused "I meant your powers. I hadn't sensed them around you. I certainly didn't mean …" then he realised she was laughing and he sighed, she was joking and he had fallen for it.

"You did that on purpose!" he said chuckling pointing a finger at her.

It started off slowly and with short gasps but then mixed with her laugh it only encouraged him to laugh more. Cullen couldn't believe it when she nodded her entire body shaking with laughter and he shook his head. She really had come back and she was really here and she was laughing with him. Maker he had missed her company.

They turned a bend and they were met with the prying eyes of the assassin.

"Ah my dear Warden, I wondered where you had gone off too. And with a templar no less."

Between the fits of laughter Ami finally replied while wiping the laughter tears away.

"H-hi Zev, were you looking for me?" she smiled and glanced up at Cullen whose face had returned to the fixed expression of a templar.

"I was not wondering, I was merely seeing if you were alright with your present company?" the elf eyed the templar and then turned his smiling gaze back to Ami.

"Why?" she laughed, "Cullen is a templar; I've known him since I began my training here. You need not worry about me Zev." She smiled mischievously "You should perhaps worry about what Oghren is doing with your Antivan wine," she smiled at him and he chuckled at the thought.

"My dear Warden, my wine is quite safe. After all I am a master at keeping to the shadows, it makes sense that things I find valuable also hide that way. May I take those for you?"

Cullen flashed a quick scowl but quickly replaced his templar mask. He thought it was more a demand than a request from the elf to hand over the books. His eyes narrowed and he relinquished the books to the elf and then turned to Ami. His presence was obviously not welcomed by the elf.

"I will see you later Ami, good day," she smiled and nodded and within a few moments she had gone. Cullen returned his gaze to the elf who had remained, who smiled slyly at Cullen.

"I will give you one warning dear friend. As much as you may like and may know my friend she is my charge. She has been through more than anyone should have to go through in one lifetime. _Do not_ hurt her, friend or I will see that your actions are paid for through to the fade itself."

"You care for her don't you?" answered Cullen quietly, his eyes fixed with the Antivan's and this seemed to make him shuffle albeit slightly.

"I care more for her than my life itself. She let me live after I was hired to kill her. She is my dearest and most precious friend and as much as I would like it to be more than that I know it will never be. For that reason her happiness is my ever concern so I warn you _be careful_. I will be watching."

Cullen merely smiled and nodded. He knew this man was deadly, an assassin is one thing but he knew he was a Crow, well an ex-Crow. The elf smiled, "I'm glad we have an understanding, please, enjoy the rest of your day."

Zevern nodded again and walked towards Ami's study, her books in hand. All Cullen could do was turn and walk back to his station sulking that the elf had spoiled a pleasant conversation.

~v~

Amilia walked into her study and placed the books she had down on it. Her hand felt the wood of the desk as she sighed heavily at the turn of events. She had to think of the future, hers and the child's, she wanted to be around for more than thirty years to see how this would turn out. However, the only thing at that moment was how her friend had interrupted a pleasant walk with Cullen. She sighed.

_I must not dwell on this; I've been here before and look where that got me, pregnant and alone, with only three people in the world around me._

Four. Four people. Including Cullen. Was she even going to consider Cullen? As a friend again? She shook her head as she sat down at the desk.

_I am a fool, _she thought_, a stupid fool. He is still a Templar and you are still a silly Mage Amilia, a silly silly mage!_ She said to herself. _It can't and never will be more than friends, _never_, might as well accept it now. _

She sighed and looked to her pile of books. Pulling out some parchment and ink, she then reached for the first book. _Well,_ she thought, _might as well get started on this reading. _

A few moments later she heard a quiet shuffle. Without looking she just spoke to who it was standing in her doorway.

"Zev. I know your looking out for my best interests but do you really have to go and threaten one of my Templar's?"

"One … of your Templar's?" an all too familiar replied.

Ami froze and closed her eyes. Her hand in mid-air with a quill and ink above her clean piece of parchment, she didn't dare look up to see his face.

"There are two of us now is it?" the voice continued jokingly.

She breathed deeply and slowly put down the quill, bracing herself as she lifted her gaze to his. Alistair. He smiled at her. _Curse that dam smile_ she thought, how many nights had it saved her from going insane!

"I take it by your face that it wasn't me you were expecting?" he sighed as he leant against her doorframe. He was dressed in his basic Kingly armour looking at her with those big hazel eyes, _looking_ at her. She turned her gaze away and shook her head; she didn't want to look at him.

"Well then, surprise perhaps?" he laughed his hands wide in a shocked pose.

"No," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I knew you were coming. I thought you wouldn't get here till tomorrow evening." She said looking anywhere but in his direction.

"Well I decided to press on and get here sooner after I was sent word you had fallen and were ill," he faltered after that and entered the room fully.

She quickly turned to see Zevran behind Alistair, his face dark and menacing, with one of his daggers slid out. She shook her head and watched him vanish back into the shadows before Alistair closed the door between them. She swallowed and then made herself look up to Alistair, his light hearted face replaced with shock and despair. She knew what was coming next.

"Why didn't you tell me Ami?" he began, he looked at her desperately. She had no illusions about what he was talking about.

"I didn't know Alistair! I only found out after my fall!" she dropped her head into her hands.

"And you _drank_ your way back here! What were you thinking?" he replied, unhappy with her answer.

She twitched and looked back at him, angry now. "What I was thinking? What are _you_ thinking? You shouldn't even be here!" she glared at him, hands still clasped around her head.

"_Oh_ I shouldn't be but you should be? Really? Is that your logic?" he began pacing between the door and the front of her desk.

"Logic has nothing to do with it. I did my duty and I came home, I came back to the place where I belong, where I should be! A _Mage_ in the _tower_!"

She was standing now, glaring at him across the desk, one hand tapping on the desk the other at her side palms clenched.

"Your place is by my side! Or have you just been pretending this past year?"

"Don't start this Alistair" she growled, "Don't," Ami scowled and pointed her finger at him, then looked away from his eyes. She turned away she didn't want him to see the tears in her eyes. She was _so_ angry and hurt because being here with him caused her to remember everything that had happened since that night.

"Oh no! You're not getting out of it that easily!" he yelled pointing his finger at her.

"Were you even going to tell me Ami? Really? Were you just going to give birth and then ramble off to Maker knows where and raise our –our child?" at the word ramble he wafted his hand in an unknown direction, his eyes livid.

"I don't know Alistair, I don't! But I know for a fact I'm not going back to Denerim!" she yelled.

"Why the hell not? It's my child too Ami!"

"Because!" She spun around and slammed her hands on the desk. "You are the _King_ Alistair. I am a _Mage_!" she pointed to herself. "Or do I need to remind you of your dammed Chantry and their laws?"

"_You're _the one who made me bloody King!" he spat back pointing at her.

"I did what was best for Ferelden!" she replied, straightening her posture.

"What was _best_ for Ferelden! Best for Ferelden! Damn you woman! You wouldn't know what was best if it kicked you in the arse! You didn't even _ask _me, you didn't even tell me your plans!"

"Oh really! As I remember it, it was my arse that kept you alive after the _spectacular _failure of your leadership skills!"

Alistair slammed his hand on the desk, making Ami flinch but she didn't physically register it, their eyes met and then Alistair walked away running a hand through his hair before turning to face her again.

"Ami they wouldn't know, just come home." He sighed and said quietly.

"I _am_ home!" she growled her eyes cold, she would not give in this time. "And you are _so_ very wrong about them knowing if I did go. How much danger would we be in if we both lived in Denerim? How much danger would you be in from the nobles and Anora's supporters? No I will not let our child live in the politics of your world I will not!"

"And your safe here? Don't I even get a say in this? You know my feelings on this Ami! Or have you forgotten everything we stood for?"

Ami's mouth gapped open and Alistair visibly retreated regretting those words.

"Everything we stood for! Are you even _hearing_ yourself! It was not me that needed reminding of the 'values' that we stood for the last time we met Alistair! I will not be your secret lover in the dark and our child the secret _bastard_ of the Theirin line! It would never be a secret if I went back with you and you know this! You'd really want me to watch as you slip out of one woman's bed into mine? You know it would break my very being Alistair!"

The tears were now streaming down her face and she put her hand to her face to wipe them away. He looked at her; he so desperately wanted to kiss her and hold her like before, before all this and wanted to never let her go. He sighed but Ami wasn't finished venting her bottled fury at him. She screamed at him defiantly and hammered her hand against the desk again.

"_You_ chose to walk out! _You_ chose to walk away. And then! _Then_ you had the gall to turn around and ask me to stay. After what you _did _Alistair, after what you did can you really blame me for leaving?"

Alistair stood silenced by her words and nodded.

"No, your right, you're always right. Dam you woman if I could change it I would and you above all other know I would but-," he looked at her softly, begging "what is going to happen? I want to be part of this; you can't shut me out of this. I won't let you!"

"I don't know yet Alistair. I don't know." She sighed and returned to her chair.

"They will try and take the child Ami, I need to know. I won't have my son or daughter be raised in the Chantry, I won't."

"Well at least that's something we both agree on." She half-laughed.

He walked towards her, kneeling so he was level with her and cupped her face.

"Why is it that when you drive me completely insane I am reminded of how much I love you?"

"I don't know Alistair. It hurts me as much as you but we cannot be together it will only cause more pain. That's why I left even before I found out I was with child. There is too much hurt and pain to go back. Now things are more complicated I can only see us being apart forever but in this we will always be together in. For the sake of our child we have to be apart and live our own lives for its safety as well as ours. I couldn't bear to lose you to death, but I can bear to lose you in this, knowing I have part of you here with me."

Alistair smiled at her. Even with the possibility of loosing everything she was going to be allowed one thing, a precious and perfect thing.

"Ami I love you but I-I don't know how I'm going to live without you?"

"You will." She smiled. "Here is what I think we must do. And we must Alistair for if we don't we condemn our child's future and that, that would be the death of me."

~v~

Zevran stood outside with Cullen. The elf had grabbed the templar after seeing the King, just in case he had any ideas of forcing his friend back to Denerim without a fight. They were waiting and listening to the two warring adults in the mages study. Cullen's face was white, never had he heard such arguing even with Greagoir and Irving. He sneaked a glance to the elf and saw the same fear.

"I've never heard her this angry," Cullen said quietly.

The elf smirked, "I have, and my friend if she could have killed the arch demon by shouting at it she would've killed it long ago. She is terrifying, but it's such a _delightful_ experience to see."

Cullen snorted but continued to listen.

"But, if he lays even as much of a finger on her I will gut him like a fish and make him eat his own bowel," muttered the elf, fingering the blade of his dagger.

"You'll have competition then," replied Cullen, "though judging from the sound of things she's winning."

"She always does my friend. Though, I myself would find it difficult facing the wrath of a beautiful highly skilled and powerful, _pregnant_, mage and not want to shake in fear."

"Has she always had such a temper? I had never seen it."

Zevran laughed.

"Only he would pull it out of her. He is a fool, but an honest fool. He does love her that I have no doubt, but she chose duty and the future of everything over her own selfish needs. She has nothing else but that child and he knows it because unlike her he could not have made that choice and come out stronger."

The elf shifted his feet and continued to polish his daggers.

"She chose to make him King and sacrifice what they had so the future of the country would be secure. She is a true 'hero of Ferelden' and I am proud to call her friend."

Cullen looked at the elf, awe and admiration was in his gaze. He looked to the door as the yelling and shouting began to calm and the gentle hum of conversation between the two warring alpha's quietened. They had heard the majority of the conversation and as the King stepped out his face flushed, he glared at Cullen.

"You!" Alistair's voice boomed at Cullen.

Ami quickly came out behind him.

"Cullen … I- Oh-h," her cheeks flushed and she looked from him to Alistair.

Alistair's face frowned and scrunched as he looked between her and Cullen.

"So this … _this_ is the other Templar?" he quietly said turning his gaze to Amilia.

"What?" answered Cullen sharply, obviously confused at the boiling face of the King.

"Alistair … not now! He is my templar, yes. But … Don't look at me like that for goodness sake! He is a friend, someone you can trust. Please!"

Alistair could not help but size up Cullen. Cullen flinched as the King measured up to Cullen. Both the men similar in height and stature, both Templar trained and strong willed. Amilia couldn't help wonder if that was the reason why both men had a place in her heart.

Cullen the tortured unloved soul, Alistair the trodden down joker.

"Alistair, leave him alone! Please!" She lifted her hand to her forehead as she groaned, _why did you have to be just outside Cullen?_

He turned back to her and told them to come into the study. There were things to be discussed that were for their ears only. Alistair ordered Zevran was to find Wynne, Oghren and Greagoir and only then would things be discussed extensively.

Cullen dreaded being left alone with both of them he'd offer to find Greagoir but the elf had already vanished he cursed silently. He entered trying not to look directly at the King or Amilia.

_Maker strike me down … please …_

~v~

Once everyone had congregated Amilia thanked them and what Alistair and her had to say was not to leave this room.

"I mean it Greagoir. If I so what as hear that you've spoken about this I will come and kill you myself," growled Alistair as he leaned against the desk.

"Alistair!" Ami exclaimed, glowering at him, "That is not exactly the attitude that's going to win him over!" she growled quietly.

"Fine. Fine. Its only the future of a child we're deciding on!" he waved and sat on the desk, "Please continue."

Ami sighed and turned back to her guests.

"As you well know I am now with child, Alistair's child. But instead of returning to Denerim I am remaining here. Alistair will return and continue as King, seeking out a wife and heir."

The truth panged at her chest but she continued.

"This is so our child can live in peace and relative safety." She turned her eyes on Greagoir. "I know what happens to a child born of a mage and would ask discretion from you Greagoir and your men. I know many and I know that if you asked them this they would gladly follow if you wish it."

She paused waiting to see if he bit back an argument about the Chantry. He merely sighed and pursed his lips before answering her.

"Warden, you have done more for this Circle than just save it. You have returned to help restore it and have brought hope for the future. I would gladly see anything done for you and against my better judgement," he sighed, looking between Wynne and her before continuing "the Chantry will not be informed of this, you have my word."

Alistair was surprised, his gapped mouth open as he stared at the templar.

"Really? That's it. No Chantry this Chantry that?"

Greagoir looked indifferent to Alistair's jibes.

"Ser she has done more for me than ever asked. I think it would anger the Maker himself if I were to turn away someone he sent who saved us when she asks for help."

"Thank you Greagoir. You have no idea what this means to us." Ami smiled tilting her head.

He smiled and stood, taking his leave of the gathering.

"So, this is our plan. The reason we have asked you all here is that we need people who we can trust with this. People who will be around to help protect our child. Unfortunately I am not immune to the Grey Wardens call unlike Alistair so this is why we have asked if any or all of you would consider helping us."

It was Wynne who spoke.

"Child we have been through to the very end of the world with you. We shall always be with you on your journey and you need not ask us. We shall be with you all."

She smiled and took her leave.

Zevren and Oghren both laughed and nodded before leaving. All that was left was Cullen shuffling his feet.

"So? You want us to protect your child. From possible threats that would seek to damage both of you both emotionally and physically. So that both of you can continue your duties to the rebuilding of Ferelden and the Grey Wardens?" he asked looking at Ami.

"In a nutshell, yes. That is what we wish to happen." Amilia spoke quietly.

"Very well. You have my support Ami." He nodded.

He stood and as he was about to walk out Ami touched his arm making him turn to face her.

"Thank you Cullen. I know … I know it's not been easy for you but thank you." She smiled as he held her gaze and nodded leaving her with the King.

She sighed and turned to Alistair.

"So our child will be surrounded by those we trust and love the most. Good."

She looked at Alistair his face unreadable but curious.

"What?" she said smiling.

"He calls you Ami? How much of a friend is he?" he looked at her and the hinted at the door.

"Alistair! It's my name! So what?" She gaped at him.

"Still … I've not forgotten that he confessed to being in love with you."

"Y-You're jealous!" she raised her eyebrows and laughed. "Oh for Andrastes Sake Alistair! He's a templar. It's against the rules."

"Yet we're breaking them?"

"That's beside the point." She flustered, blushing slightly. "This is a ridiculous conversation. I've more important things to think about than my bloody love life!" she shook her head and busied herself with clearing her desk.

"Ah so there was another motive for leaving me," he smiled and walked towards her.

Ami's hand stopped in mid-air and she looked at him with hooded eyes.

"Don't joke about that Alistair. Just don't. My future is decided nothing will change that. What are you doing?" she sighed.

He wrapped his arms around her and nestled his head into her neck. He missed her so much and hated how things had turned out. To be given something so special and have it taken away because of politics and the law and then be given more. It was torture, a pure evil torture that she would have to endure. He breathed in her smell and remembered the days back at camp, before the landsmeet, before things were so complicated and it had just been them, together.

"I love you" he whispered into her ear, "and I will always love you. But I can't help but knowing that both of us will have to learn to love again even when we're still connected. I don't know how I will explain when it asks us why we're not together."

He felt her nod and sigh deeply. She turned to face him, still in his arms and rested her head on his chest. Maker, how he missed this.

"By then I think we would have figured it out. I-I love you too Alistair." Her throat tightened as she spoke those words.

Alistair closed his eyes and repeated her words over and over in his mind.

"But I understand what you mean. For myself I don't think I will have that luxury being in a tower and all." She lifted her head.

"It just means you need a knight to rescue you my dear princess," he laughed but she merely just smiled and then kissed him.

His mind savoured the moment until she pulled away and broke the kiss. It would be the last one they would share and they both knew it. Their eyes met and when the silent agreement between them was done the broke the embrace slowly. Alistair said he wanted updates and notice to when the baby would roughly arrive. Ami nodded and said she would let Wynne know and she would take care of it.

He began to walk to the door.

"Alistair"

"Yeeeeeeees?" he spun around looking at her.

"Take care of yourself. I mean it. You know I'll send Zev after you if you do anything stupid." She said, trying to hold back the tears.

He looked at her meaningfully and nodded.

"I will my love. I will. I don't need to ask you to do the same because I know you will. Goodbye for now."

With a wave he was gone and the hallway empty. Ami felt herself slump into the chair and a few moments later she was sobbing. Again she had been forced to choose but this time she had been left with something, something that represented true love and hope. She hugged her stomach. It would be the beginning of the future.


	4. The Birth of Something New

The Birth of Something New

Ami felt as big as a house. In fact she was bigger than a house, a palace she thought. Even with her size she had gone through the majority of her pregnancy with little hindrance for which she was glad of. Using magic still took more out of her than it would normally but with regular breaks she was managing her workload fairly well but she had not been without help.

Cullen had been asked by Greagoir to assist her when required during her classes and she was surprised at how flexible Greagoir was now being with the mages. There were still boundaries but she felt there were not as cold as the Chantry would demand of them. Shedding blood together seemed to have softened Greagoir as she had fought with him side by side during the Blight. His supervision over the Mages during the final battle had opened his eyes to see that stepping up security at the tower would be a backwards step. She felt better that she was actually able to talk and laugh with Cullen during her classes with her apprentices.

She scribbled some more notes in her research book. It was going well, if a little slowly. She had already been through the entire library and recently Wynne had told her that there was a restricted library only available to senior mages that may hold some more information.

"This is going to take forever!" she said out loud, resting her head on the desk.

"Talking to yourself is a sign of madness. You do know that?" answered Cullen.

She looked up and saw him outside her door. It seemed he had just walked passed or was he looking for her? She didn't know. He stepped forward and entered, leaning against the frame. Ami caught herself looking, a little too much and shook her head the stance reminded her of another templar.

"Sorry. It's just after a long day teaching I can't seem to get through this lot any faster!" she tossed a book on the desk and huffed leaning back in her chair. She smiled up at him and tilted her head.

"Were you needing something?"

"No. I-I-I mean. What I mean is." He sighed. "A letter came for you and I thought I'd drop it off before I go off duty."

He blushed. Even after nearly eight months of her being home she still made him feel awkward and nervous and the amount of time they spent together, sometimes alone made it almost unbearable. He hated his stutter. She smiled and thanked him as he gave it to her and watched her open and read it. It wasn't a letter from Alistair that was certain. It seemed to Cullen that she kept re-reading the same section over and over as if she was confused at its content. Her face grew more tense and she closed her eyes, crumpling the letter in her hand.

"Ami? What is it?" Cullen voiced as he could see she was getting more and more upset. He walked to her, placing his hand on her shoulder. She jumped and quickly stood walking away at speed.

"I-I need to speak to Wynne … now!" she said and left him there, throwing the letter aside.

Cullen was confused. He looked at the letter than back at the door. He tensed. If something was wrong he wanted to know. He wanted to help. _Maker forgive me_, he said and picked up the letter.

_Dear Grey Warden Amilia, (Well that wasn't a good start, _he thought_.)_

_It has come to our attention that you have become well established within the Circle and have taken responsibilities. May we offer our congratulations on your status we hope that your research is going well into the taint and its effects on your condition. By now you are wondering where our information has come from but you need not worry about the political implications._ (They know about the baby?)._ We understand your position and the position of the Others in this matter and rest assured that it is in confidence that information will not be shared._(Ok, that's good then)._ In fact we are interested in providing assistance in your research into the taint in relation to your condition. We must warn you that it is extremely rare this condition and not without its problems. We recommend that you visit the outpost of Kilth near River Dane._ (Kilth's a day and a half away)._ Here there is a vault and small library of the Grey Wardens and we have already sent word to the archivist of your research and he has assured us that he will find the required documents and secure them for you to collect. We must warn you however, the area is in a state of unrest since the death of the Bann. Please do not place yourself in danger and send someone instead. We do recommend that you have them go soon as we are unaware how long our contact will be able to remain safe. _

_We hope to meet you again soon Sister, _

_Warden Commanders Pheros and Lethan_

_How did they know?_ Cullen wondered. The names of the Wardens were those of the two that had visited her before and asked her questions about the Blight. Something about the way they had found out the information unnerved Cullen. He did not like it one bit, surely she wouldn't go now, not with the baby due so soon. He had to find out. He dropped the letter back on the floor and went in search for Wynne.

~v~

"The child is fine Amilia. Why so worried today? You need to rest." Wynne said reassuringly.

After examining an anxious Ami she looked at her. She glowed and her magic radiated around her. _She must know that the child is fine, even with her basic healing skills_, thought Wynne.

"I know. I know its fine I just wanted to make sure b-before I-I …" Ami looked away from Wynne.

"Before you do what child?" Wynne looked at her sternly. Something was wrong or bothering her enough to come and talk to her. Ami told her about the letter, how the Wardens knew about the baby, how they had offered help with her research and had given her a lead. Wynne went quiet.

"I need to go there Wynne I need to get these documents … no don't protest," Ami put her hand up to the open mouthed mage, "I need to get all the information I need to know what might happen to me and the baby."

"You're not seriously going!"

Ami quickly turned her head to see Cullen, red-faced with anger staring at her from the doorway. She was slightly annoyed that he, of all people would try and talk her out of this.

"I need to go." She argued, narrowing her eyes at him, the hormones were _really_ playing with her temper and she struggled to maintain the even tone. "I need the information. The sooner I go the better. If I don't go I may loose valuable leads to finding out how to extend my life and my future."

Cullen's eyes narrowed and then flicked to Wynne. She was as unhappy with the idea as it was but he couldn't see her refusing her. He felt his shoulders relax and returned his gaze to her.

"Fine," he replied harshly and then pointed at her, "But if you think you're going alone your wrong! You're a mage and I'm a templar." He stood straight and looked at her, "You will be under my supervision" _and my protection_ he thought to himself.

Wynne looked at him confused but relieved. Ami smiled and nodded her head.

"I won't be the only one. Your elf friend and the dwarf should come too. Better being prepared than just having the two of us out there when the area is in Maker knows what state. I will lead you there."

"Will you now. Somehow I don't think Zev and Oghren will agree to your leading." She smirked. He only smiled back at her and she thanked him.

~v~

The journey to Kilth was long and slow, even with the horses. They had made good time and Ami found herself enjoying the camping again, without the continual darkspawn threat. She found herself enjoying the company of her friends even more since they were outside the tower. Though Cullen still was a little edgy. She laughed as Zevran continually made Cullen blush as he and Oghren shared stories and commenting on Cullen's lack of experience, or none as it were, with the opposite sex.

"Zev, Oghren! Leave him alone. Cullen has taken _vows_ leave him in peace and stop tormenting him. So Maker help me I'll clip both your ears!" she yelled back, trying to save Cullen from further embarrassment.

"Oh." Oghren grinned. "You heard the boss, let's stop jesting the templar. Shall we turn our attention to you then our fearless leader? Eh Ami!" answered Oghren.

Ami rolled her eyes and continued to walk her horse ahead.

"Ah yes! I remember when she was quite timid and didn't speak much. Quiet as a mouse … well until of course Alistair had her screaming like a wild-" Zevran was cut off as an arcane bolt shot passed his ear.

"Zevran Arainai! Maker _help_ me but if you don't stop I'll incinerate you." She yelled back, obviously mortified. The elf grinned and nudged Cullen, who for the moment was mildly curious but embarrassed for her.

"My dear Warden," He sighed. "There is no need to make such threats. Your state it is clouding your judgement perhaps? I was merely commenting on how your prowess much improved after you and Alistair …" another bolt flashed past his other ear and imbedded into the tree behind him.

Cullen grinned, she was trying to save herself from potential blackmail he could use later.

"Now, now! There is no need for violence. Unless we're allowed to," Oghren looked vaguely hopeful for a moment before Ami just gave him a look. "My fingers have been twitching. Come now have a little fun Ami!"

She huffed and Oghren took it as a sign to continue.

"Good. Now If I don't say so myself was it not _you_ that declared your love for our fearless leader when we saved your nug humping ass in the tower?" Oghren asked Cullen.

Ami stopped. She did not want to see Cullen's face when asked that question. In the months since her return she hadn't asked him about it, it was a topic they avoided.

"What?" he replied; obviously just realising that he was now the centre of attention again.

"_Really?_ How is it that I didn't know this?" answered Zevren his eyes wide, then turning his gaze to Cullen who's expression had changed to panic, he smiled. "Oh my. The boy has been keeping secrets."

"I was trapped by a demon remember. I said many things," his voice was rushed and embarrassed, "I wasn't sure what was real and what was the demon." He added trying to press past them.

"Well you wouldn't have said it if you didn't feel it," Oghren chuckled.

"Andrastes mercy! Leave him alone. Enough of this conversation!" Ami yelled, turning to face them.

"What? Scared I might tell him about your thing for red hair and amber eyes. I do remember that night Warden, it was your first time tasting the brew!" the dwarf burst out laughing and nudged Zevran, the elf grinned and then looked at Cullen.

Now it was Ami's face that went scarlet red. Cullen shot a glance at her and could see the tips of her ears burning hot and red her free hand clenched tightly. Her mouth hung open as she silently tried to come out with something but failing.

_This is not going to end well_, he thought.

He watched her sigh turn and continue walking her horse. He tried to think about who had red hair and amber eyes. Certainly not Jowen he was dark and had brown eyes, or Alistair for that matter he was blonde and had blue eyes. _Maker!_ He blushed deeper, it was him. He never knew she felt like that about him, he had hoped, dreamed even, but he had always thought it was one sided, or it was just friendship. His mind went into overdrive. Maybe she had decided that it could only be friendship as it had to be. There was no way it could be anything more than that, it wasn't possible, he was still a Templar and she was still a Mage. That must be it, he thought.

He sighed; _at least he could be the best he could at being her friend that was something_.

By the time they reached Kilth it was near dark and they camped. Ami decided to avoid any unwanted attention they would camp a little outside the village and make their way in during the day. That way it was much safer and they could move around more freely. They hadn't had much problems getting this far and it disturbed Cullen. He expected more trouble but so far there had been little activity in the area, it kept him alert and he mentioned it to Zevran who was equally uneasy about the quiet.

"It is not normal for an area to be this quiet in a time of unease. It tickles my bones, so to speak. It feels as though we are missing something." The antivan said quietly.

"I agree. I don't like the idea of walking into Kilth unaware. I want us to be prepared. Here is my plan."

After Cullen told Zevran his idea the elf nodded and sat at ease, if only slightly.

"Truly. You are a good man and with a sensible mind. I am glad you are here."

Cullen was unsure of the compliment but he just smiled at the elf.

"She is my friend too Zev. Besides he wouldn't have to kill me if anything happened to her. It would already be done."

He stood and looked at Ami across at the fire. His heart beat faster every time she smiled, laughed and looked at him with those angelic eyes. He sighed and shook his head.

"Go to her my friend. She will not return those glances if you do not talk to her." Zevran said.

Cullen blew out a breath and eyed the elf.

"I thought you warned me to stay away?" he said smiling.

"No what I said was not to hurt her. There is a difference my friend. Though there is a fine line. I will still warn you however." He replied, winking.

Cullen chuckled and after picking up his blanket walked over to her. She looked up and smiled as he draped it around her. Zevran nodded and continued sharpening his daggers. Yes he would protect her but Zevran would protect her heart but it did not mean he would deny it either.

"So, what are we reading tonight?" Cullen said as he settled next to her.

She smiled and held out her book to show him.

"Ah … the Rose of Orlais? Love stories now?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"My dear Cullen how do you know it's a love story?" she laughed and smiled at him.

"Well for a start it has rose in the title and a rose on the cover which leads me to think love and romance. Then again I know it's a favourite of Wynne's." he grinned.

"Really you are so observant!" Ami teased gesturing her hands.

"Well I do have to be its part of my training," he laughed.

"To stand and watch and guard." She announced and then her eyes softened. "I don't know why but I always felt safer when you were on duty. Especially when I was younger," she smiled warmly. "I think it was because you were always nice and talked to me," and she nudged his arm.

Cullen returned her smile and nudged her back.

"You were also very nice Ami. You always had a kind thing to say about everyone. Even when most of the young ones didn't like you."

Ami snorted at that.

"They didn't like me because I was good at everything. I could pick up a spell in a matter of days and after a week could master it." Then she thought about it, "Though some were harder than others."

She winced slightly, arching her back as she felt a sharp pain. Cullen noticed and gentle held her arm.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded.

"Just a twinge, riding is not the most comfortable way for a heavily pregnant woman to travel." She winched again as she shifted position. "My back is sore but that is nothing new. Though what is new is that my breasts have doubled in size, see?"

She turned to see Cullen averting his gaze as his face went scarlet. She laughed at her own silliness.

"I'm sorry Cullen I didn't mean to-"

"No-no its fine," he interrupted. "I'll just help you, ahem to your tent and I will leave you"

"Cullen." She said softly.

"Yes?" His head was still turned to one side avoiding her gaze and looking intently at something in the nearby tree. She sighed and moved it with her had focusing his eyes on her.

"Can you stop being embarrassed? I'm completely comfortable with you here. You don't need to run away or think you're a fool." She smiled at him, it was the closest their faces had ever been and it was doing wonders for her stomach. "I've met many fools and you are not one. And you have nothing to fear, I will not sully your honour you mean too much to me to, ouch!" she gasped and looked up at him. "Oh! Cullen feel!"

She grabbed his hand and went to her stomach. He was about to protest when he felt a jab and a squeal from Ami. She looked at him and then her stomach. Between his hand and her robes he could feel the life within her moving he had never felt anything like it. A sense of awe and wonder came over him and he was almost lost in the sensation. He looked at her; her face glowed like the sun and radiated her happiness, a huge smile across her face. But he shouldn't be here. Alistair should be. But instead of him it was Cullen and he felt a feeling of intrusion and regret that he had felt this and not Alistair. He took back his hand and thanked her, then helping her up led her back to her tent helping her settle.

He turned and just as he was about to walk out the tent she spoke. It was as if she had read his mind.

"He's getting married in a month," sadness creeping into her voice. "I-I know it's for the best but I can't help but feel a little lost. I'm glad you're with me Cullen, even though I know you must feel awkward." He turned and looked at her. her expression sad but happy at the same time and the next words fill him with more happiness than he knows it should. "I am glad it's you and not anyone else. Could you do something for me? Please?"

"Of course Ami" he smiled back at her.

She sighed, as if relieved.

"Could you, could you stay with me. I mean stay and make sure I fall asleep. Keep watch over me?"

"Ami, you're not going to turn," he began, dreading the idea of her turning _now_ after all the time they had been spending together.

"It's not that."

"Then what is it then?" he asked gently.

"I-I like you to watch," she said, a little embarrassed and her cheeks starting to burn. "It … it makes me feel safer that you're watching over me. I know that sounds silly." She hung her head and began playing with the folds of her cloak.

"No," he said looking at her. "No it doesn't. Of course I'll stay; I'll just be here outside. Alright?"

She nodded. He watched her crawl into her bedroll and settle down for the night. The 'Hero of Ferelden' liked him to watch her sleep, he kept her safe, and she felt safer with him watching. She had no-one else but those around her, no real family, and no real freedom not even the man she loved. So Cullen decided he would sit and do this for her. He would be her friend and help her. No matter what. No matter his feelings.

~v~

The village of Kilth was depressing. It reminded Ami of Lothering. The refugees lined the side of the village, tents and small camps in the middle of the road and the people looking desperate. Cullen stood out a little ahead of her dressed in his full templar armour, Zevran was nowhere to be seen and Oghren travelled behind her, his axe strapped to his back ready for any trouble. The Chantry was their first stop; there she could ask about the Grey Wardens library.

Getting the documents was easy and straight forward. The Revered mother had been told by the Archivist that she was expected. After receiving a forced blessing by the mother she was escorted to him. She had dressed as little mage-like as were possible to avoid arousing suspicion of who she was. She had merely told the revered mother she was a Grey Warden and not the 'hero of Ferelden'. The woman didn't seem to notice and just carried on, her hands obviously full with the refugees. Cullen was behind her all the time, which she was glad of; she was relieved that he was here with her. She also felt Zev's presence now and again, it would seem he was checking up on her and then scouting the rest of the village out. Good plan. She wondered how she never thought of it and then she grinned, turning to Cullen and whispered.

"This was your idea wasn't it?"

"Sorry?" he hadn't quite heard her.

"Zev, and the shadows?" she clarified.

He nodded and pointed in front of her. She turned back to see the old man in a doorway holding a bundle of jumbled pages and a few rolls of parchment. She smiled and walked over to him, thanking him and asking if he had any other information to tell of besides these. He shook his head and handed them over to her. After talking with him for a few moments she thanked him again and turned back to Cullen, placing the papers in her side bag.

"Well that was easier than expected." She muttered returning to his side.

"Mmm." Cullen said, his eyes looking around the alley. "It's too quiet around here. Look, let's get back to Oghren quickly and be on our way." He said taking her arm and walking beside her. All the while Cullen had been looking around and using his Templar skills to feel for any other magic.

She nodded and they walked.

They had only walked a few more paces when Cullen pulled his sword out. Ami turned to him eyes wide. Both of them had felt Zevran brush past and whisper "Trap."

Ami turned back the way they had just came, the hood of her robe falling back revealing her face and long hair. She held a glowing ball of electricity in her hands looking for her target. Her back was to Cullen who had spun to an attacker quickly dispatching him to the ground. He glanced back at Ami who by now had taken three down with one chain of lightning, killing them instantly. Her hands above her head weaving magic in the air as she casted. He never thought she looked more beautiful than right there, a mother protecting her child, wreaking hell all around her.

Within a few moments they were standing in silence. He placed a hand on her shoulder but he felt her give under the slight pressure. She was spent. She needed rest. Her panting was rough and heavy and within moments she was falling to the ground. He grabbed her arms and lifted her into his arms. He quickly sheathed his sword and repositioned her comfortably in his arms as he carried her away from the battle.

"We must go friend, there are more coming." Zevran's voice stressing in his ear.

He nodded and moved quickly through the alley taking care with Ami's body.

"I will distract them and buy you some time. I shall meet you at the clearing. Be careful my friend."

Cullen grunted a reply and moved quickly to find Oghren. There was no sign of the dwarf and his horses once he made it to the marketplace and he silently cursed. He quickly saw Ami's and his own horse and gently placed her on it. She groaned as she began to come around, and taking the reigns she moved the horse forward Cullen closely following behind her, guiding her away from the village.

Once they were far enough away he headed them towards the clearing. Cullen's mind had only one thing, Ami, she needed rest and she needed shelter and he had to protect her and the baby. There had been a trap. But was it coincidence or planned he was unsure, there was no time to dwell on it now, not when she needed him. They neared the clearing and within a few minutes Cullen had a tent up and fire going. After placing Ami in it he let a sigh of relief escape him, they were safe for now and he sat down to heat some tea and some food.

Cullen ate and saved some of the food he had cooked for her. She had been out cold for almost an hour and he decided to check on her. He folded the canvas door back and peaked in. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

"I think so. Though my back kills me and I think I scrapped my leg." She smiled broadly and beckoned him to come in further. He obliged and sat near the entrance, glancing every few moments outside.

"Have they come back?" she asked.

"No not yet. Though the way that they ambushed us it might be a while, they might want to make sure their not being followed." Cullen said quietly and looked to her; she nodded and sighed as she sat up.

"Thank you Cullen. I never knew you were such a graceful warrior and your ability to move in well what I can only describe as a tank is remarkable," she smiled; she needed to keep her mind off Zevran and Oghren.

Cullen nodded, trying to desperately think of something to say to keep the conversation going.

"It's not always so. Sometimes it's not easy to move in but you get used to the weight after a while. I was impressed by your power even though you're weakened a bit by the baby."

"Yes," she smiled. "It thinks it's funny to drain me of both energy and mana but carrying another person adds to the need for control over my power which adds to the physical drain, it's a vicious circle."

She patted her belly and then suddenly clenched her fists and yelled. "Nnngghhaaa!"

"What is it?" Cullen jerked forward and looked at her.

And then he felt it, her water had broken and she looked to him in fear. Her eyes wide her palms clenched, knuckles white.

"Oh Maker not now!" she shook her head.

"What! You're kidding?" Cullen's eyes went wide.

"Do I look like I'm joking Cullen?" she scowled. "I'm going to have this baby, tonight. So suck up and get me some blankets, water and some cloths!"

She kicked him in the knee as he scrambled out of the tent. His head running circles around him, she was having the baby. Now! Water, blankets, cloths he ransacked the packs until he found what he needed. He was running back to the tent when he saw her walking out towards the fire and back again. She turned and looked at him, hands on her hips, her face red and flushed sweat already brimming on her brow. He gulped as he saw she was only dressed in a simple tunic that barely covered her thighs.

"What?" she asked. His staring was interrupted as she spoke and he snapped his attention back to her face.

"I-I-I don't know what to do." His hands were full of the things she told him to get and she couldn't help but laugh, he was more scared of this than she was.

"What's so funny?" he asked a little annoyed at her ridiculous time for a joke.

"Nothing, nothing." She held her hand up, "Just calm down Cullen. It's not going to pop out of me in a few minutes. Sometimes it takes hours, as far as I can tell I'm not quite there yet, I need to walk."

"What do I have to do Ami?" he looked desperate, his usual self control failing in this new ground. She walked up to him and placed a hand on his arm reassuringly and explained. He winched at certain bits of the process but nodded when she asked if he understood what needed to be done.

With templar training he quickly calmed himself and regained control and he watched her pace counting between the contractions. Every time she winced he held her hand, _Makers Breath she was strong_ but he held his resolve. There was times when her control of her power burned his hand and he was forced to drain the majority of her mana leaving her enough to function. She paced until Cullen counted the contractions were less than a minute apart, he settled her into a makeshift birthing chair and handed her soaked cloths. Maker, he was actually going to do this, deliver a baby, her baby. He prayed to the maker for strength and favour over him, Ami and the child. To help create as little noise as possible he had her bite into a branch, an ambush at this time would be the death of them all if they were found. He had removed his armour, it would only get in the way but he kept his sword nearby, he wasn't going to take any chances.

"Push Ami, Push!" Cullen said, he glanced up at her and she nodded, teeth gritting the branch. She knocked her head back and pushed, arching her back, tears streaming down her face.

"Its almost there I can see it. Just keep going!"

Ami shook her head and dropped the stick from her mouth throwing her head back.

"I can't I'm so tired Cullen. I can't." she panted.

"Don't you dare give up on me now!" he growled, "You'd have never defeated the arch demon with that attitude! Now push!"

Another contraction came and she grunted loudly through the pain and pushed.

"Ami, you need to push. Andrastes flaming sword woman you need to or Maker help me I will never forgive you!"

Another contraction and the same thing happened again. This time Cullen had, had enough and shouted at her venomously.

"Ami! Listen to me! If you don't push the child will die, you may die! I can't have that happen not after everything that's happened." He held her gaze and all the thoughts he had kept hidden came out. "Not after you came back to the tower, to _me_ and not after what you said to the bloody dwarf! So think of something and PUSH!"

She looked at Cullen, his eyes set looking into her very soul. Her face hardened as she felt another contraction coming and she nodded. She needed to put all her anger into this final push, so she thought of the one ting that made her blood boil. _Morrigan_.

"That filthy witch!" she screamed "I should've killed her when I had the chance!"

She yelled and then gasped as the final pain came and went. She fell back into the makeshift bed and panted sweat dripping buckets from her while she looked at Cullen. His face in awe at the tiny creature he held in his hands, a few moments later a small cry came from the babe and he looked up to her.

"It's a girl, Ami," he smiled, taking a small knife he cut the cord and gently wrapped her in a thick blanket cleaning her face.

He looked at this pure little face and smiled, he never thought he'd have an experience like this, never. The babe made some gurgling noises and he nestled her in his arms as Ami sat up slowly. Cullen helped her resettle with his free arm and then moved towards her side. Even after the birth Ami glowed. Her hair was wet, her skin pink but pale from exhaustion he used a damp cloth to cool her before handing over the child to her mother. The reaction was instant, mother held the girls gaze and their eyes met, and something in Cullen's heart fluttered and he had no words to describe the feeling that came over him. He watched Ami nuzzle the baby, kissing its scalp while cleaning it with one of the damp clothes. Cullen took a clean blanket and wrapped them both in it. There was no chance he was sleeping after this, and he wanted keep mother and child safe. He glanced around the camp, noting that the fire needed tended to but when he glanced back at Ami he held his breath. She was feeding the little one and she looked up to Cullen and smiled.

"Thank you Cullen," she croaked and then turned back to the little girl.

He moved and placed more wood on the fire the flames licking the wood creating more heat around the camp. He turned back to her and noticed her asleep, the little girl in her arms within her mothers embrace, asleep and content. He smiled and folded the blankets around her to keep them both warm, taking his post standing watch over them.

It was nearly dawn before Zevran and Oghren returned. Cullen was relieved they were safe. Zevran hugged him tightly and the dwarf shook his hand as the two went and bent near their fellow friend asleep with her little girl in her arms. Cullen sat on his bedroll, exhaustion beginning to take its toll on him from the night's experience. He sighed and glanced back to her and the baby, things were defiantly not going to be the same again.

* * *

Have to say this but i don't like this chapter, i dont know what it is but i just don't like it.


	5. Heart of the Guard

The Heart of the Guard

The journey back from Kilth was shorter but more dangerous. Zevran had learned that the trap was indeed meant for Ami, however, they had not expected a templar to accompany her or for her to be with child. Though Ami's robes had covered what evidence she had so they were still unaware of her condition, much to her relief. The men had been hired by one of Anora's supporters and Zevran had also discovered that there were more of them scattered throughout the area looking for them since the first assault had failed.

Zevran had kept close to Ami and the baby, Cullen had ventured further and Oghren had stayed between them. It took them two further days to return to the tower safely and they were greeted by Wynne who quickly bedded all of them checking them all over, while placing most of her attention on Ami and the baby.

"So have you thought of a name yet?" Wynne asked softly, holding the newborn. She sat next to Ami who was exhausted by both the birth and the two days of travelling. She had come out of the experience stronger but incredibly drained, Wynne was right to worry and she was grateful for the rest and the comfort of a bed.

"I thought I might wait for Alistair to arrive before we decide anything. I want him to be as involved as he can be." She answered looking at Wynne and the baby in her arms.

"Well she defiantly has her father's eyes big and brown, but she has your smile, Amilia you must be so proud."

Ami smiled. "I am but I couldn't have done it without Cullen. If he hadn't been there I-I don't know what could've happened." She looked at her hands remembering how he had looked at her in those final moments.

Wynne smiled and glanced at her, "Yes he has surprised us our Cullen. He was very protective of you and this one when you came back, though you were probably too exhausted to tell the difference. Zevran even commented on it."

Ami looked back her little girl and nodded.

"I was sure that he was going to kill Kester for the boat rocking so much. He was shouting at him so much," Wynne laughed. "Well be careful my dear, both of you. But I think four days in bed is enough its time you started moving however, no laziness. Now up!"

Ami groaned but obeyed, slowly sliding out of the bed. She walked over to her trunk and pulled out a clean set of robes. She washed her face dressed then taking her baby girl from Wynne wrapped the little girl into a shawl and took her out. Walking to the library Ami caught herself humming to her little girl and smiled as she looked down to her.

"You do have your father's eyes my little one." She smiled she began to sway side to side humming the unknown tune as she looked at her little girl. She never noticed Cullen and Zevran watching her from the main doors.

"Beautiful no?" asked Zevran, his arms folded watching his friend.

"Very," answered Cullen, his expression soft and kind as he watched her.

Zevran turned and faced the templar. "I never thanked you properly for what you did. I am sorry we were not there to help. It must have been terrifying no?"

Cullen turned and met his gaze. He could see that the elf was punishing himself for not being there for her but his body language also revealed that he was glad that Cullen had been there.

"For a moment it was but only a moment. She struggled near the end but we got there eventually. Don't apologize Zevran I know you would have done everything to help if you could have. I'm just glad we didn't have anyone on our tail."

Zevran smiled. "You're a good man Cullen. I admire you for taken a step back from her as you have. I know you have your vows but are you certain you can't do any more than that?"

Cullen laughed and shook his head.

"Zevran, unless the maker himself came to me and told me I was free of my vows I'm afraid I cannot. Nor would she allow me otherwise." He nodded towards Ami, the elf followed his gaze and Cullen sighed. "She knows me as well as I know myself."

"You Ferelden's and your vows. She is beautiful no? What man in their right mind would not want her?" Zevran said bitterly.

"You forget what Oghren said." Zevran nodded. "I _do_ love her," Cullen sighed. "But my oath stands as does hers. She swore to protect this land from darkspawn and I swore to protect the world from her. It is as much the same as the arrangement between the King and Ami, forever parted but linked."

"You have some strange ways of showing it." the elf snorted.

"As do you friend, as do you." Cullen chuckled.

Zevran sighed, "Yes. But she also knows me too well and I would never do anything to jeopardise our friendship, so yes. I can understand now."

They both turned and looked at her. She was now seated on the floor, the shawl spread and the babe lying on it making churping noises.

"They are so beautiful." The elf said in awe.

"Yes. And I will spend the rest of my time protecting them both, as will you Zev."

Zevran smiled. "Yes my friend." He slapped the templar on the back and let out a long breath. "How lucky we are to be the two guardians of such beauties. But – ah here comes the devil we both wish to be himself," Zevran nodded towards the other door where the King had just entered.

Cullen laughed and nodded, yes they both wished to be in Alistair's position right now but both knew that it would still have divided the King from the Mage.

"We should leave them in piece." Cullen said as he began to move.

"Oh no!" Zevran stopped him with a stay of his hand. "I want to hear what this little darling shall be called. We shall wait, and besides this is your post is it not?"

Cullen nodded, as much as it pained him to see Ami happy and around the King he wanted to see the outcome.

Ami looked up at Alistair.

"Look at your little girl Alistair."

"Makers Breath," he gasped as she held her out to him, "She's beautiful Ami. She looks just like you."

"She has your eyes though and I think in time she will develop your sense of humour and possibly your love of cheese," she smiled impishly and laughed as he took their daughter, looking deeply into her eyes.

He touched Ami's arm, it made her shudder gently, as he came forward and kissed her head.

"A name, we have to think of a name." he said glancing between her and the baby.

Ami nodded and slowly stood. "I wanted to wait till you arrived before naming her; I wanted us to choose it together."

"Really? Well do you have any ideas? At the moment I'm a bit overwhelmed by her," he smiled taking in every bit of his little girl.

"I-I have a few ideas. I thought River, as she was born near River Dane. Or Isla? Don't ask why but I'm not sure."

"River Isla Amell Theirin," he sighed, "that sounds perfect Ami. She is perfect. You, you are a vision," he said as he touched her face.

She smiled but murmured something that Cullen and Zevran could not hear. They kept their distance and out of the line of their sight but they could still see them. They saw Alistair's had drop slowly from her face and him nod.

"Here, take her for a moment. There is someone I need to thank, and apologize too."

Ami looked confused but took River and watched Alistair walk over towards the other end of the library. She followed and finally she turned the corner and saw Cullen and Zevran, talking together. She watched as Alistair walked over and took Cullen aside.

"Y-Your Majesty?"

"Cullen I owe you an apology and my thanks. Without you Ami could have died and River too. I could never thank you enough for what you have done for me. I am sorry that I was harsh to you before, but I can understand that you," he lowered his voice so only Cullen could hear, "that you love her as much as I do, so I cannot leave them both in better care than yours. I trust you will do your utmost to protect them."

Cullen blushed and nodded.

"Y-Yes your majesty. Thank you."

Alistair smiled and straightened. "Good. I will be staying a few days before I head back to Denerim. I trust there are chambers for my use?"

"I will see to it that they are available ser," Cullen nodded.

"Alistair, Cullen. Call me Alistair. None of this King business," replied Alistair taking Cullen's hand and shaking it before turning back to Ami and River his face beaming.

Cullen nodded and turned to leave, glancing up at the proud parents. She looked so beautiful with River in her arms he thought. A tiny jab in his heart forced him to turn his gaze from them not noticing the look of thanks and want in Ami's eyes that were set towards him. It was Zevran who noticed and saw her face quickly return to its façade as Alistair began talking to her.

It was three days before Alistair left to return back to Denerim. He told them all he would try and return every few months to see his daughter and check up on things. Ami had the idea that they would publically name Alistair the child's godparent if anyone asked or pried to close. In reality she named her companions godparents, Wynne and Leliana being godmothers and both Zevran and Oghren godfathers. Cullen she named River's protector and kissed his cheek when she told him. He froze unsure how to react as she laughed holding out River to him to hold.

It was the beginning of something new. Something Cullen was unsure how was going to work but he knew that his position had not changed. He would protect them both, from outside from Ami's power and from the King himself if need be. He looked at the little form; he would protect her like his own from everything.

~v~

"River! Come back here!"

The voice yelled as the small blonde child ran between the desks in the library, giggling and laughing as the two templar's gave chase. She turned to see them try and use their talents on her, silly templar's, that only worked on Mommy not on River, she wasn't a mage. Not that she wished she wasn't, she envied her mothers ability but she wasn't old enough yet. She scurried under the lowest shelf of the bookcase and hid behind the pillar.

She heard the older templar curse in remembering. She couldn't help but giggle and then ducked as they found her hiding spot.

"Right you! You're going to end up in Greagoir's office when I catch you!" one growled.

He grabbed for her and missed narrowly as she dodged his grasp, spinning into stationary plate metal of a third person she never saw. She bumped to the floor and looked up to see Cullen smiling at her; she returned the smile and held up her hands to him. He gently picked her up in his arms and then turned to see his two exasperated templar brothers glaring at the child, they grimaced as he told them he'd take care of her now, annoyed that they themselves couldn't punish her.

"Cullen!" squealed River, she hugged him tightly, "Is Mommy home yet?"

"No she's not she's still a few days behind me River. She sent me ahead because she knew you'd be riling up the Templers." He looked around at the mess she had created. Papers, parchment, books and quills littered the floor along with upturned desks and chairs the templar's had moved trying to catch her. "I can see she was right, what have we told you?" he said gently.

The little girl smiled impishly and nodded.

"That I was only to annoy them when it was absolutely necessary?"

"Is that what your uncle Zevran said?" he looked at her and she smiled broadly, then nodded. She could never lie to him; he was her friend and was always there for her to go to, she wondered if that's why her mother and he were so close.

She looked exactly like her mother, same face and hair but her eyes and her humour were exactly like her father. Her long curly hair hung around her shoulders with a green ribbon tying most of it back with the exception of one loose curl that hung around her face. Yes she looked exactly like her mother he thought, beautiful.

"Sorry Cullen. But they aren't as much fun as you, _I_ missed you." She hugged him tightly again as he put her down. She took his hand and they began walking back to her room.

"Is Daddy coming with Mommy this time? Is that why she's not back yet?"

This puzzled Cullen. The King was supposed to visit the tower while they were away meeting the new recruit for the order. He judged by the question that he hadn't arrived yet.

"He's not here yet?" he asked. She shook her head, this made him worry slightly and he decided that he'd seek out Wynne after settling her. River stared straight ahead and continued to talk to him.

"I miss daddy, but not as much as I missed you and Mommy," she smiled as she looked back up at him. He looked down at her and smiled, squeezing her hand.

"I missed you too River and I know your mother misses you. She'll be home soon though don't worry."

"I'm not, nothing could hurt Mommy, she killed the arch _demon_, she's invincible," she smiled and skipped in front of him.

"You father helped her remember," Cullen answered, trying to reinforce that Alistair played a part in their life. They had not told her about him being King, just that things meant her parents were not together anymore, but they still loved her. Alistair's absence for the long months had begun to be evident in River's behaviour. Nothing too extreme but Cullen had began to notice that she had distanced and had retreated within herself whenever Alistair returned to Denerim.

"Yes but Daddy isn't as strong as Mommy, not as strong as you Cullen I've seen you," she said pointing at him.

"I don't know about that River, your father is very strong." He smiled watching her, why was she saying these things he wondered.

She stopped and looked up at him, tears evident in her eyes. He bent down and cupped her face wiping the tears away, he gave her a questioning look and the child burst into tears.

"What is it River?"

She continued to stare for a moment, she was bursting to say something but she was unsure biting her lip like she often did. He cocked his head to one side and looked expectantly. Her eyes darted to the floor then back up at him, then to his sword then to the hallway. She swallowed and then continued.

"Cullen?"

"Yes River."

"Why is Mommy and Daddy not together. Like a family. Uncle Zev and Granny Wynne won't tell me."

Cullen didn't understand why she was asking, she had already been told this but he felt there was more to it than that. He sighed and answered.

"River I-I'm not sure I'm the one to tell you this. You should ask your mother."

"She won't tell me Cullen! Did Daddy even love my Mommy?"

Cullen looked at her, his eyes wide. "Of course he did and I think he still does." He said with feeling.

"Then," she hesitated, "then why is he with that other lady in Denerim? If he really loved Mommy he'd stay with us."

Cullen was shocked. "How did you know about her?" he asked quietly.

"I hear uncle Zev talking about her." She sniffed.

Cullen swallowed. Alistair had married a month after River was born, he had continued to visit and stay for a few weeks every six to eight months, spending time with River as much as possible. Ami had been involved in the beginning visits but after the third year she left them alone with each other, letting them get to know each other and spending time together. Cullen thought that seeing them together brought up too much pain and she was very quiet when Alistair visited spending most of her time in her study continuing her research.

He nodded and saw her expression drop slightly and then a look of confusion.

"Then I need to find someone to be in love with Mommy. Mommy needs someone."

At that he laughed and smiled, he knew the answer to this.

"River, we all love your Mommy. We love her as much as we love you; you don't need to worry about her not being loved. You love her don't you?"

She smiled and nodded, "Yes, of course I love Mommy, but she needs," she paused and looked at Cullen, "… does that mean you love Mommy Cullen?"

"Yes I do. Very much, she is a very dear friend of mine." He caught himself saying before thinking. The huge smile River gave him meant he had answered her question but he felt he had perhaps answered too truthfully.

She grinned and giggled then skipped into her room. And wishing him goodnight and placing a kiss on his cheek, she closed the door. He sighed, it may not have been what the demon had shown him, but he was grateful for what he had and was part of. An odd type of family, within the boundaries of the tower, he was happy and content even if he couldn't touch it fully. He walked off to see Wynne and Greagoir, to tell them the news of the recruit and why Ami was really a few days behind.

~v~

"She's doing what?"

Wynne glared at him across her desk, the usual icy glare making him shuffle and wriggle in his armour.

"He's helping her with her research Wynne, he's done a lot already to do with the taint and he knows a lot about it." he said.

"Still. That man did terrible things to those poor Wardens! Does she really trust him that much?"

"She trusts him enough that his findings will help her further. I don't think she trusts him outside the fortress though. That's why she left the other Wardens there that's why she left Jowan there, to keep an eye on him."

"I still can't believe that after his stunt she let him become a Warden!" piped up Greagoir. His dislike of the Blood Mage was apparent; he was more surprised Cullen was not just as repulsed by him.

Cullen sighed, this was an old arguement. "Jowan has proven himself as a changed man Greagoir. I have witnessed it; he bares no marks on his skin of using and has not even dabbled in the forbidden arts for over four years now. His knowledge however is valuable to the Wardens, even with all the recruiting there are still only a handful of them."

Greagoir was uncomfortable with Cullen's attitude. The past four years had seen the Warden Ami pursue the rebuilding of the wardens in Ferelden, often taking her far from the tower and Cullen along with her. A few of the new warden recruits had concerned him when they stopped by the tower, sharing information with their leader. The tower had become a cross roads of passing through Wardens and scholars, he did not like it not one bit. The one thing he did know was that if it continued one of his Templar's would be lost, he had done his best to keep things from the Chantry but it wasn't going to last forever it was time he did something. He sighed.

"Cullen you have grown so much in the past few years and I am proud but," he sighed and looked at Cullen "I'm worried that you are drifting from your real duties in watching the mage. Are you considering asking Ami to join the Wardens? I must warn you the Chantry has not gone without notice. I have done all I can about this."

"Greagoir really?" Wynne gasped.

Cullen faltered.

"You mean the Chantry may come and take me. They think I'm failing my duties?"

"No," Greagoir sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose "but they feel that you are becoming distracted by the mage. They fear that your judgement may be clouded." Greagoir tried to put delicately.

Cullen's face darkened. _He _was_ doing his duty_, he said silently. He had never even realised it. After all his following she had treated him like one of her own, a Grey Warden not a templar, he was her _friend_. His duties were to the Circle but leaving the Circle was not a small matter and he had left on numerous occasions without permission. Had Greagoir really protected him from those above him? He looked to the man, he had aged a fair bit in the past few years and Cullen had noticed the weight of Knight-Commander weighing on him.

"Will they be sending someone Greagoir?" he asked finally.

"No," he said flatly, "but they would only agree to it if you returned to your regular duties within the tower. That I guarantee you have not broken your vows. They demanded that you be declared my second and become Knight Commander after my passing." He said solemnly.

"Y-your second?" he gapped at Greagoir, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. The position would change everything.

"My boy it is the only way I can guarantee our promise to the King and the Warden." he added sadly. "I know you have become close to the child and her mother but if you are to keep you're promise I see no other way for this to go." Greagoir stood and looked at Wynne. "Wynne I'll leave you to your work, Cullen I shall see you later, take the evening, you can begin your duties in the morning."

After bowing to both he left.

"I can't believe this," Cullen began but Wynne cut him off.

"It is the price we must pay I'm afraid. There is nothing we can do except make the best of it Cullen, but I am sorry it has come to this."

Suddenly a rage that had lay dormant within Cullen ignited he looked at Wynne the look in his eyes made her shrink back.

"Make the best of it?" he spat. "I have made the best of it for twelve years! Haven't they already asked enough of me?" he slammed his gauntleted hand on her desk. "I _made_ vows, I've _kept_ them, I've prayed day and night to the Maker to take these thoughts I have away and leave me." He growled and then pointed to himself. "I guard and watch the _one_ thing I can never have. I keep her and her child safe while I have it rubbed in my face that I can never have that because I _have_ my vows. For what!" he gestured to the rest of the room. "To have it thrown in my face that there may be a chance I will slip and succumb to her charms, that I will fail in my duty. I may have kept my vows but I fell for her long before they even thought about this. And I would still strike her down, because I love her and I know she would rather be dead than turn." He was now shouting at Wynne, disbelief in his voice.

"I'm sorry Cullen," Wynne said softly.

"Don't be!" he breathed waving her sympathy off. "It's another way of torture. Even if I could change it I wouldn't. I _love_ where I am; I love her and that child more than anything. I am not afraid of those feelings anymore. The thing I most fear is their safety and for them to be taken or, or," he faltered after that and glared at Wynne who finished it for him.

"Or leave. Cullen," she said quietly.

He held up his hand and marched out. He barely noticed the elf as he stormed through the door and down the hall slamming the large door behind him as Wynne called after him.

Zevran returned into stealth, there was no point telling him she had returned earlier than expected.

~v~

"Mommy!"

"My darling!"

Ami hugged her daughter tightly as she sat on the end of her bed.

"I missed you!" the girl chirped as her mother hugged her tightly.

"And I you my little one." Ami said pulling away to look at her. "Zevran tells me you have been riling up the Templar's again. What did I tell you?"

"I already had Cullen tell me Mommy." River said rolling her eyes. "You're back early? Cullen said you weren't coming back for a few days! Please say you're not going away soon?"

"No. I'm back for a little longer this time my dear." She smiled slyly. "So, Cullen already told you off huh, good. Now lets sit and have some tea and you can tell me all about what you've been doing the past two weeks."

River smiled and started pouring out all what she had being doing since her and Cullen had been away for two weeks. She talked about Zevran returning after a mission for Alistair, how he and Oghren had taught her a few fighting moves.

"Fighting moves?" quizzed Amilia, raising an eyebrow.

River smiled "Uncle Zev said that if I was going to be the true child of two Grey Wardens I should begin early to avoid being eaten by Darkspawn." She replied smiling.

Ami sighed. She couldn't believe it had almost been six years since she had found out about her little River. She nodded and the little girl animated what they had taught her. She laughed as she tried to attempt a stealth move, only to fall back as she tried to counter her balance. She stopped when River mentioned about the Queen and how Alistair wasn't able to visit mentioning that she was sure there was another reason.

"River, your father is a very busy and important man. Why would you think otherwise?"

She saw the girl tighten her grip on the wooden dagger she had and lowered it to her side.

"Because I'm afraid," she said flatly.

Ami put her hands on Rivers shoulders.

"Afraid of what my child," she spoke softly.

"A-afraid that Daddy will stay with the lady in Denerim and not come back."

"River," Ami gasped and pulled the child into a tight embrace, stroking her hair and soothing her.

"Your father loves you with all his heart. I know he does. There are reasons why we can't be together as a family, but that doesn't mean he's going to love anyone more than you!"

"B-but why? And what about you Mommy?"

"I have all I need right here," she pointed at River's heart and then at the rest of the room.

"I have you, I have the tower, I have the Grey Wardens, Wynne, Oghren and Zevran."

"And Cullen," squeaked River, "You have Cullen Mommy, he said. Today. He said he loved you with all his heart. So he has you too Mommy?""

"Cullen is a Templar River. You know this." She said almost automatically.

Ami sighed, her mind unsure what to make of her daughters admission. Yes, she thought, yes I do love him but it's the same dead end that is at the end of everything.

She smiled at River "I think its time you went to bed now, I'll see you in the morning."

She hugged her daughter and lifted her back into the bed and kissed her forehead wishing her goodnight and pleasant fade dreams. She saw the annoyed expression on her face, that her other question was not answered but she just smiled at her before closing the door. She turned round the corner and was met by Zevran.

"Is our little princess asleep?"

She laughed, "In bed yes but not asleep, not yet. What are you still doing up?"

"Ah I thought we should have a nice sit down with some lovely wine. Come my Warden you have travelled far and been away so long!"

She smiled and nodded, a drink would be good and she allowed him to usher to the sitting room.

~v~


	6. A Little Thing Called Hope

6. A Little Thing Called Hope

Cullen was angry.

He wasn't just angry he was furious and taking it out on the dummy in front of him. Sparring in the templar training room often helped him calm and focus him mind but recently his mind had been clouded with the facts. His odd family would have more restrictions, the gilded cage becoming decorated with even more bars. He thrust his sword at points of the dummy, putting everything behind every blow, trying to chip away at his anger while his mind raced through what Greagoir had told him.

He hated the Chantry, he hated being a Templar and he hated his _duty_.

There was a time where he had enjoyed serving the Maker and the Chantry but that was before her, before her harrowing, before the fall of the Circle and before she had returned pregnant and then had that beautiful child running about her. He crouched as the familiar pain of his muscles screamed at him. He glowered at the ground cursing the loyalists of the Chantry in his mind and gripping his sword swung it at the dummy the blade taking off its head in one clean swing.

He stood and panting heavily cocked his head at the shadow of someone behind him.

"Well I hope I never make you that angry," her voice said.

He could tell she was smiling, but it was a worried smile and he didn't want to turn to face her not with the anger still evident in his features so he remained silent.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have disturbed you."

He watched the shadow turned and began to shrink as she walked away.

"Wait. Please. Stay." He said gruffly.

He watched as the shadow stopped abruptly and turn. She stopped for a moment and then walked back, slowly this time. He still had his back to her as he reached to clean the edges of his sword, then sheathing it back into his scabbard he finally turned to face her.

She smiled and swallowed hard. He looked at her confused, unsure what was making her uncomfortable. It was only then he realised that he remembered he had been sparring bare chest and was sweating. He blushed and quickly looked for his plain linen tunic.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"N-no it's fine." The blood beginning to rush to her face and she pointed to the door behind her. "Sorry I shouldn't even be here. I-I'll go, I-I'll go."

She turned and as she began to walk away she felt him grip her wrist, tightly but gently as she often did to River.

"Ami, you wanted to talk?" he asked. It was in a knowing tone, he knew she needed to talk to someone, he could read her so well.

She turned to face him and found his eyes. She had never noticed that they were green flecks in them and tried to focus on anything except them and his still bare chest and so settled on his hair. Curly red hair that was often the first thing anyone saw, as long as she'd known Cullen she had been able to spot him in a crowd of Templar's. He never wore his helm, though the times she had seen him with it, it was when he was angry and didn't want to show her his frustration. She smiled up at him and remembered how embarrassed he was to talk to her and how he used to stutter, continually apologizing for it. She found it endearing and found herself being reminded of Alistair and his awkwardness and her smile dropped when she remembered why she had came to find him.

"What's wrong Ami?" he asked again.

She sighed.

"River, River told me something Cullen and I don't know how to ask this but …," she glanced up at him, fear pricked his eyes but was quickly shut down and his mask put in place before she noticed.

"Did you say anything about Alistair to her?" she finished.

He mentally sighed a sigh of relief, he knew what she meant now. He feared that River had told her of his admission, and _that_ would be awkward. He smiled.

"No. I told her to talk to you about it. It is not my place to talk to her about things that are that important. Especially since I'm not her father," he mentally smacked his head. _You idiot!_

"That's not how I meant that to sound," he quickly said.

_Well done Cullen, nicely handled_, he said to himself. How badly he wanted to bang his head off the wall now.

She just smiled and nodded apparently unaware he had even said it.

"Yes. I think when Alistair arrives I'll have to talk to him about this. I think she's at the stage where not telling her will just be another form of lying to her. Thank you, for not saying anything" She sighed heavily. "I just don't know how I'm going to tell her."

"You'll figure it out I have no doubt about that. The most difficult part is the beginning." He looked down at her, worry laid heavily on her shoulders and he leant down and touched her shoulder, his thumb rubbing her neck. She flinched but settled quickly returning the touch her hand resting on his bare arm. She smiled up at him, her eyes meeting his. They were quite close, close enough that he could just bend down and …

"Thank you Cullen. I don't know where I would be without you." She smiled. "I feel like a tree and you are like my roots holding me in place when a storm is brewing. Thank you," she took a step back before turning and walking out of the training room.

Cullen turned and felt the anger build again. He turned to the dummy that now had no head and laughed, he wanted to tell her about Greagoir but she had enough to worry than him. River mattered more than his problems, he would wait.

~v~

Ami shook her head. Images were running through her mind that certainly were _not_ helping her decision.

_I never knew he had a scar there, I wonder what made it. His stomach is so flat and toned and those arms_ Dear Maker! _Alistair had never looked that good, muscles in all the right places but not as beautifully sculpted as Cullen_. _He didn't even seem to flinch as I looked at him like that._ She grinned. _Yes Ami grin like a fool, that is sure to help._

_Stop it_ Ami! She shook her head again. _Count the steps_, she yelled at herself. It is Cullen, he's just Cullen. _Who is single, toned, has a lovely sense of humour, strong and very, very your type_, her mind chimed.

_Shut. Up_. She thinks to herself.

He's also a Templar_. A TEMPLAR_. No hugs, no kisses no nothing! It's just Alistair all over again and look where that got me. She quickly regretted thinking that and her mind turned over about River. Why did she have to tell her about Cullen?

She sighed and leant against the wall of the hallway. An existence devoted to the Maker and the serving of the Chantry, to watch and never touch. She remembered his admission when the Circle was broken, her heart tugged as she remembered how he had been so distant when she had first returned. She had just wanted to hug him and tell him things would be alright, that together they would make it alright. Oh how many times had she wished that he had told her before? Countless? And then reality set in.

The Templar and the Mage. The oldest and most forbidden thing. She couldn't help but wonder if this was how Jowan had felt with Lily. A forbidden love that seemed to last even within its confined walls. Was this even love?

She shook her head again.

She had no illusions about what the outcome would be if things happened, if they were discovered. She was not about to sacrifice everything she had worked so hard for, for the _remotest_ possibility that he might feel the same way about her. But he had admitted it hadn't he? Or did he even feel that way anymore? He said as much, but he had been tortured? What did he think of her now? Ami knew herself that if she was bold enough to take that step and he didn't return her feelings she would lose him forever and she couldn't bare the thought of never speaking to him again as a friend.

_You've been here before. Stop thinking and leave it alone. He is your friend now and only that. _

"Are you alright? You've been staring at the wall for a while now." A voice called to her.

Ami turned and met the eyes of her bard friend Leliana.

"Leli?" she said quietly. "What are you doing here? Where have you _been_?"

She grabbed the bard and hugged her tightly, then pushed her away and slapped her shoulder.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Leliana winched, rubbing her shoulder.

"You had me worried!" Ami chided, glaring at her. "When I haven't heard from my friend in six months I was beginning to think you were dead!"

Leliana curtseyed and smiled. "Not quite my friend, not quite. But as you can see I am well. May I ask?" raising an eyebrow at her friend. "What were you pondering about in this lonely hallway?"

"Leli, don't change the subject come let's go to my study and, _Cullen_!"

As if the Maker himself had heard Leliana speak _he_ was there. Ami switched her gaze from Leliana to the large Templar behind the bard. She felt her face turn a deep red as she gazed at him, _still_ bare chest as he held out her staff to her. She barely remembered saying thank you as he nodded heading in the direction of the baths her eyes following his form. She was only brought back to reality when Leliana took her arm.

"So," the bard grinned. "I see our Cullen has been keeping himself well endowed."

"Leli!" Ami squeaked, "He's a Templar."

"But that's not stopping me or _you _for that matter from looking. Is it?" she smiled dangerously.

"I do not think of him in, in that way." Ami shook her head.

"Then why do your eyes betray you my friend." She squealed and began to laugh as Ami's face deepened in colour and she dropped her gaze. _Curse you Leliana!_

"It's a dead end Leli," she sighed, "he knows it as well as I do. Well," Ami rolled her eyes "I know it better than he does. I've _tasted_ it, he's lucky enough not to have he didn't have to go through the pain afterwards." Ami said bitterly looking forlorn.

Leli stroked Ami's hair and smiled.

"But, I can still tease you about it. I mean really," she looked in the direction Cullen had walked in. "I admire your self control Ami, he's a vision of the Maker" she laughed, "He's even better looking than Alistair and I've _seen him_, well not really but you know what I mean."

"Leli! Enough! Come on lets get back to my study and you can tell me where _you_ have been!"

She grabbed the bards hand and marched her to the study ignoring the yelps as Ami dragged her away. She was trying to ignore the thoughts and images of Cullen walking away from her with that perfect form and bare back, why was the Maker insistent in torturing her.

~v~

Leliana spent the next few hours talking with her friend discussing the recent events with regarding the Chantry and the Urn of Ashes. For the past three years she had been working with Genetivi in putting together an expedition documenting the temple and its many books and carvings. Leliana had loved every moment, taking breaks in between to visit her friends and travel between Orlais and Ferelden acting as a diplomat for Alistair. Her skills as a bard still had her involved in the darker side of politics, which Ami knew had something to do with Alistair but she would ask later.

"Do you even talk to each other anymore?" Leliana suddenly asked.

Ami looked at her and sighed, setting her wine down and entwined her hands.

"Unless it is to do with River no, we don't." She put her hand up to stay Leliana's comments. "I know what you're going to say. It's not healthy but I'm not getting into it. It is just the way things have turned out."

"I know he misses you." Leliana sighed. "As a friend I mean. I think he also feels guilty that he can move on and you, you can't have the same chance."

"I miss him too," Ami said quietly. "But I live everyday in the knowledge that I am helping build a future, for both mages and Wardens alike."

"What about your future Ami? Do you really want to walk this path alone?"

"Why is everyone so suddenly back at this?" She shook her head "I am happy. I have my Wardens, I have the Circle and I have River. What else could I possibly need Leli?"

"A handsome elf to warm your bed my lovely Warden," came the Antivan's lifting voice.

Ami and Leliana turned to see Zevran enter. His walk confident as always as he entered Ami's study fully, glancing between the two women, eyes devouring them.

"Not funny Zev. I am not laughing." Ami glowered.

"Tsk so serious! Why so serious my dear? Not enough wine perhaps?"

"I have had my share of wine thank you." She remarked tilting her glass at Zevran.

"Well if you are saying these hurtful things to me, you have _not_ had your share of wine." He took another bottle out of his discarded pack and sat it on the table.

It wasn't long after that Ami was now beginning to regret letting the elf live. The room had become hazy and she barely registered that they had been joined by Wynne and Oghren. She shouldn't be drinking, she knew that but it numbed the hollowness in her heart a little. She was happy her friends were around her. Leliana's joy of wine had not faltered in her task set by the Chantry and both Zevran and Oghren were enjoying updating Leliana on the recent events. The recent events being the many Warden missions that had led to Cullen accompanying Ami and she glowered at them both. Why couldn't they just get it and let it go?

"Tell us dear Warden are you going to let that man just follow you? Or are you going to do something?" Zevran's eyes refused to drop her gaze. He especially had been pushing her to do something regardless of her threats to feed him to the next batch of darkspawn they came across. Somehow Alistair always knew and had Zev off doing something for him, saving the elf from a lynching which made the situation even worse. She was then left alone with Cullen for the journey. She glared at him.

"Zev. Drop it already it is enough that I have you all and River. I don't need any," she was cut off by Oghren.

"I bet he's a pike twirler. Why not grease up the bronto, Warden? It can't hurt." He shrugged, before downing his tinkered of whatever concoction he had brewed this time.

"Oh for the love of Andraste! Let it be!" groaned Wynne and she gave Ami a gentle and sympathetic look, resting her hand over Ami's.

Ami groaned and felt her head drop onto the table with one hand clasped around her now full glass. _Maker curse them all, _she thought_. As if my own thoughts were not bad enough_. She held her head on the table, willing the thoughts to leave her alone but they never left. After almost six years of being back at the tower they had only increased as well as her feelings for him. She was so confused by it all. He was first and foremost her Templar, then a friend, then the man she harboured feelings for. They had spent so much time together without the Chantry's evil eye watching them, they had shared camp fires together discussed things that she would never have discussed with Alistair and she felt complete. On an intellectual and spiritual level she had felt completeness and not that his stature hadn't helped, Maker had it helped, but she was safe and content to be who she was around him. He had never judged her though she had at the beginning had to take things slowly, he was still after River's birth a little edgy about certain aspects of magic but he never said anything to undermine her when she restarted her Warden duties. She was roused from her thoughts by Zevran, his hand on her shoulder.

"Falling asleep are we?"

She sighed. She was tired what she needed was to release some of the growing tension in her being. Ami had long ago decided she would be devoted to her daughter and her duties to the Circle and the Wardens. She groaned as it had often led to a back log of suppressed sexual tension to which Cullen's stature had definitely _not_ helped her and which she was feeling the effects of now.

"I'm going to stretch my legs, then head to my chambers. I shall see you all in the morning." She decided.

Leliana and Zevran tried to accompany her but she declined, asking from some time with her thoughts. She needed to be alone and with something she could hit at.

~v~

She found herself in the large area of the mages training room where the older apprentices trained. Targets lay in separate areas where spells would be cast and dummy's lined one side of the wall. She sighed and took point; it had been a while since she had actually stretched her powers fully.

She grounded herself relaxed her shoulders and turned her thoughts to the veil. She raised her hands above her head and began the pulling of her gift. She didn't need her staff, as she felt the echo's of the power that laid dormant all around her and pulled it inwards. She felt the vibrations of her power as she turned and faced the farthest away dummy and cast the tempest spell. Might as well as start stormy, her mood was dwelling near it.

She felt the power of the electricity in her hands, crafting it above her head and as she dropped them to her sides cupping the force she threw it at the dummy with full force. The dummy obviously didn't stay there, it bounced about, and to save being destroyed the Circle had invested in spell absorbing wards on the collection of dummies. She didn't stop countering the moving object however. She flicked it about with various spells, a jab of an arcane bolt, a stone fist and then another jab of lightening. The dummy began to frustrate her, it taunted her, she decided it would feel her wrath and be turned into dust.

She continued joisting the chunk of wood about until she heard a chuckle behind her.

"Afraid that it isn't you Zev?" she asked slyly.

The elf smirked and shook his head.

"No my dear. Though you know I would kindly take you up on the offer if you so kindly did. But I know I am not the one you are trying to push out of your mind."

She cast another bolt of lightening at the dummy, a large flash of light illuminated the room before being absorbed into the form.

"You know me far too well friend."

"Leliana mentioned you were flustered. Tell me was he really that delicious to look at?" he asked, attempting innocence.

"Zevran!" she scowled.

"Please I wish to know, so that I may gaze upon this so called _image of the Maker himself_, as Leliana described him." He grinned lecherously.

"Maker help me Zev but you are cruel to torture me about this. Surely you know." Her head dipped as she continued casting, sadness evident on her face.

"Ah but the admission is always sweeter. So do you?" he cocked his head as he looked at her.

"Do I what?" she said trying to brush him off.

"Love him of course!"

She turned and faced him, nodding slowly, tears threatening to fall. "Yes," she croaked before shaking her head at him. "But it changes nothing Zev. It changes nothing between us."

"What needs to change?" he shrugged.

She laughed mournfully as she lazily cast another spell.

"Everything." She gestured wildly around the room. "I couldn't let him betray his vows Zevran. There are some things even _I_ will not do and _that_ is one of them."

"That is only one reason." He countered.

_Maker you are on thin ice friend!_ She growled inwardly.

"Do I need to tell you the other reasons?" she glanced at his face and he saw the look of anger. He knew what that meant; he had seen it while they had travelled across Ferelden back to the Tower, the deep dark undercurrent of suppressed anger and rage after the arch demons fall. "No, I didn't think so." She spat quietly.

"But you deserve so much more my Warden." he pleaded, taking her hands in his.

She scoffed and returned her gaze to the dummy, pulling her hands away from his grasp.

"What I deserve and what I'm given are two different things. I am grateful for so much and with time I shall be content with it again."

The silence between them grew and Zevran realised he would get nothing further out of her. She needed to fight through her anger at the world and these dummies did not offer much more than planks of wood. He sighed and left her be, noting the large figure watching from the opposite side, the gloom made it difficult to make them out but he was certain it was a Templar.

~v~

She channelled her energy into the blows she dealt. She was now angry and the veil was waning she could feel it. At the moment she didn't care she was determined to blow up the dummy. She was walking dangerously along the edge of controlling her temper and the suppressed rage she had packed tightly away.

Fire. Ice. Stone. Lightening.

"You are trying very hard to blow him up aren't you?"

A voice behind her called but she barely heard them. Her concentration on the dummy, fuelling her anger further that it hadn't exploded. She jumped as she noticed the arm on her shoulder, causing her to turn and accidently cast at the person behind her. She cursed loudly as she realised who it was and ran to their side.

"Cullen? Oh Maker! I'm so sorry I didn't hear you!"

"No-no it's fine," he closed his eyes "ouch. I should have known better. Not the best idea I've had."

He was on his back, and looked up at her as she knelt by his side, one hand cupping his face while the other lightly touched his chest. Ami silently thanked the maker that he was wearing a tunic and then cursed herself for being so distracted by her anger.

"I'm so sorry Cullen, here let me check you over." She brushed her hands together and felt the magic course through her palms as she began examining him. She stopped as he suddenly held her hands in his and she looked up as he smiled at her.

"I'm fine Ami. Just a little sore, and feeling a little foolish." He grinned. "I shouldn't have startled you."

"What are you doing here anyway?" she asked quietly.

"I was … looking for you actually," he blushed.

"Really? Why?"

"I-I need to talk to you about something." _Maker did she have to sit so close? As if this wasn't hard enough_, he mentally chided.

"Alright." And she waited for him to continue.

"This … might be easier if I was standing."

Ami looked puzzled for a moment and then realised he was still on his back, her body still pressed against him leaving him unable to move easily. She mentally shook her head and sat back letting him stand while she followed.

"Sorry, I-I don't know what I was thinking." She said quickly standing and fixing her robes.

Cullen laughed and shifted his weight, his gaze still on the floor. _How was he going to tell her this, where was he even going to start_, he wondered.

"So? What did you want to talk about?" she asked, trying brush the heat rising to her cheeks from her robes.

He ran his hand through his hair and swallowed hard, he could see that she was now worried about what he wanted to talk about. She was trying to look indifferent when in fact her attempts at distracting his attention from her flushed cheeks was giving her away. She was a terrible liar.

"You know that Greagoir promised he wouldn't let the Chantry become involved with you and River."

A flicker of fear wrecked Ami's once calm expression but he continued. That could've come out better but it was best to move on and get to the point.

"That's still the case," he rushed in, "thank the Maker but some of your actions haven't gone without notice. Well not really your actions but my own actions." He looked at his hands; as usual they were animating his nervousness as he spoke.

"Your actions? What have you done Cullen?" she asked, completely confused by what the Chantry would have a problem with. She cocked and eyebrow and folded her arms. He was a loyal Templar, protecting the world from her polluting magic and he would strike her down if she turned. Wouldn't he?

"It's not really to do with my past actions really but what I am doing now in this moment. I-I'm afraid that I might not be able to keep my promise to you and River, if things don't go well."

Now she was completely lost, what was he talking about? Was he saying that the Chantry would not allow him to protect River and her?

"Greagoir told me that the Chantry is concerned with my extensive travels with you and the Warden's. I think they fear you will invoke the Right of Conscription and recruit me."

Ami's mouth opened and then closed again about to speak but Cullen interrupted her.

"I know you would never seek to do that but," he looked sad and lost as Ami listened, "Greagoir doesn't want to take the chance. He's already made plans and is going to announce me as his Second and then Knight Commander after his passing. I wanted to tell you before, before they told you."

There that was it, it was out and in the open.

Ami felt she had taken a kick to the chest and she physically jerked back a little. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. They had done it again, _again_ she screamed in her head. She clenched her hands and held them to her sides, her nails digging into her palms. She turned her head slightly away from his gaze, she didn't want him to see her upset about this, Maker she should have expected this.

"Please say something Ami?" he said quietly, taking a half-step towards her.

She glanced up at him, tears were beginning to stream down her face and she quickly wiped them away. She mirrored his step and took a full step back. His look was desperate, sympathetic and begging her to understand it was something he never wanted to happen, that he was telling her this before anyone else did. He tentatively reached out to her but she shook her head. _At least he had the courage to tell me face to face_ her mind spat.

"What am I supposed to say Cullen?" she spoke quietly, refusing to look at him until the last moment. "That yet again the Chantry tramples me under its righteous foot. That everything that means something to me, that means something to River is going to be ripped away," she stamped her foot and waved her hand, brandishing something invisible away. "Maker _forbid_ that I am not allowed to feel anything anymore because it's _forbidden_."

She was spitting out all the pain for the past few years. The hate, the anger and the bottled up feelings of rage against the mighty over-righteous zealots that ran the so-called religion, it had met its boiling point. The blasted sycophants had run the majority of her life with her being taken along for the ride.

"What am I supposed to say Cullen? Pray tell me? Should I be angry? Happy? I don't know anymore! I don't know what to think anymore about my feelings, _my heart_!" she beat her chest her tears freely failing. "When everything _I_ want gets too close it get snatched away and dangled in front of me like a puppet, with someone else pulling at the strings! I'm forced to watch while they play my life like a game! Like a tool in their war!"

Cullen made to speak but she didn't let him.

"No." She sobbed, shaking her head her hands trembling. "Just don't say anything Cullen. Just don't! I accept it. I _did _accept it after River was born. I am _nothing_, I'm just a Grey Warden Mage who can't _let_ myself fall in love again because it's forbidden and yet you're being taken away from me anyway!" she looked at him.

She widened her eyes as he stood almost a hair's breath away. "What are y-yo,"

She was cut off as his lips met hers, one of his hands around her face the other around her waist pulling her closer to him. She melted in the kiss savouring his taste and his smell, it was overwhelming and she gasped as he pulled away slowly. His eyes were closed wanting to remember the moment forever and as he opened them he saw her face relax and tears falling down her face. He wiped them gently away and held her, looking into her eyes.

"I'm not leaving Ami. I-I just won't be able to leave anymore with you."

"Why did you do that?" she whispered, sniffling.

"Because I've wanted to for a _very_ long time now. I just didn't know if you felt the same way."

"_Oh Cullen_!" her tears began again, "I've been here before. I don't want to hurt you, I do don't want to loose you too."

He held her face in his hands and looked into her eyes deeply.

"You won't. Not ever. I'm here for you and River. I love you both so much. I-I had to tell you, I can't keep it to myself anymore. Wynne told me you were here and I had to tell you before things changed."

"But your vows Cullen." She croaked. "I can't ask you to go back on them. I _can't_, I _won't_ let you!"

"I'm not." he shook his head smiling. "I've a better understanding of them and you don't have to worry about them and the Chantry. I will remain a Templar, but I will always remain yours. Always."

"Always?"

"Always." He smiled and kissed her forehead his hand cupping her cheek.

"Cullen I-I don't want you to get hurt. I'd do anything for that not to happen. I'm scared; we can't have more than this. You understand that? We would endanger everything, everyone!"

He nodded.

She looked at him, confused and trying to understand why he was doing this.

"_Then why?_"

"Because I can't keep living a lie anymore. I've denied my feelings for you for too long and if I couldn't tell you I would lose my mind. I-I know we can't be together but I can't stand by anymore and not tell you how I feel about you."

"I feel the same," she manages and looks at him smiling widely at her. She felt the dormant growl of desire rumble in her being and willed it to the back of her mind.

He kissed her again but she was ready this time. She tasted him and swooned into his arms fully his arms tight but gentle around her waist and the small of her back. He tasted of cinnamon and she felt herself becoming lost in his kiss so she pulled away slowly. She heard him groan but he nodded as she smiled up at him.

"Well at least with Alistair on the throne we can hope he'll drag the Chantry kicking and screaming into the future." She jibed. "He's already got a mage advising him."

"We can at least hope my love." He smiled and kissed her again. There was hope and suddenly an idea struck him. When the time came he grudgingly loosened his grip around her and wishing her goodnight. There was hope for the future but he needed help.

* * *

_Ok so this is the new chapter hope you have enjoyed lol finally got to introduce Leliana to the story. _

_Finally got the two characters together but really? Its not going to be like a "Normal" relationship. _

_Cullen still has his vows, Ami is determined she won't let him break them plus she still has River's future to think about. Things are getting complicated for Ami. _


	7. Fade Secrets and New Beginnings

Honour of the Templar's

It was another day before Alistair arrived. Bad weather had delayed him as the northern road flooded washing bridges and parts of the road away. He arrived soaked, covered in mud and shivering. Ami couldn't help but laugh as he tried to take off his boats without falling over. She had grabbed him and taken him to her study before River had had a chance to see him. He knew the look she gave him the moment he walked into the main hallway, _we need to talk_.

"So? What's the problem?" he asked while trying to get his gauntlets off.

Ami was still trying to muffle a laugh at him as he continued to remove his armour. Time changed some things but it didn't change that she still thought he was still the same funny man she had loved all those years ago. He had married, and had a son and Ami knew that he would be called Duncan when she heard the news. It was only right that they had named him after their mentor and friend. Duncan was now four and had inherited his fathers bounding humour and love of cheese much like his sister. She stopped laughing and looked at him, her face sombre.

"I-I think its time we tell River the truth now." She said quietly.

He stopped removing one of his gauntlets and looked at her with sadness in his eyes. She could tell he was just as pained as her to now have finally come to this stage.

"She's asking about us constantly Alistair. She's even found out about the Queen. No don't worry she doesn't actually know she's talking about the Queen." Ami explained.

Alistair lets his mouth close and finished taking off his remaining gauntlet.

"I suppose it couldn't be helped. She has your brains after all." He grinned. "And since I can't see either of us lying to her for the rest of our lives I suppose it's better now than later, or her finding out without us explaining it to her."

He sighed and stood; he began unclipping the rest of his grimy leg armour and laid it to the ground of her study.

"Alistair!" she gasped.

"What!"

"This isn't the palace you just can't leave things lying about and expect me to clear up after you!"

He looked at her, then back to his muddy armour covering the floor the mud and water beginning to pool over the flagstones.

"Ah … sorry about that." He replied offering a toothy smile in apology.

She groaned and went outside calling one of the guardsmen and cursed, they had all left a trail of mud and filth through the tower.

"Andraste's Knickers Alistair! You can't go anywhere without making a mess can you? I swear you've dragged half of Lake Calenhad with you!" she glowered at him, his face twisted in a cheeky grin.

~v~

"Ami? I don't understand. You want me here?" Cullen whispered.

Ami was pacing the room as she waited for Alistair and River to return from their time together. She was worried about the up coming conversation that they were going to have with her. She glanced up at Cullen, his worry for her etched his face.

"Because I'm scared." She admitted. "I'm scared my daughter will hate me from keeping this from her. Because I need more than a Templar being my friend right now, _I need you!_ I need you to be my roots Cullen."

She was babbling words and reasons that made Cullen blush deeper and he smiled. She never had admitted that she needed him even in a friendly context but after the night in the training hall they hadn't shared a moment together alone. Things had changed between them, feelings had been acknowledged but there were still the boundaries that both were bound by. He nodded and remained standing while they waited.

"What if she hates me Cullen?" she turned to him again, her hands fidgeting at with her robes.

"She won't Ami, you're her mother." He smiled reassuringly.

"Oh I'm glad you're here!" she said and hugged him tightly. "I know I'm not supposed to hug you but I don't care anymore. I need you right now."

He sighed and felt his shoulders relaxed and he prayed to the Maker that nobody walked in.

He let his arms fold round her back and pulling her closer he nestled her head closer into his chest that he felt his heart waiting to burst. It was her turn to freeze unused to the closeness and boldness of his action but she quickly relaxed and pressed against him fully, hands wrapped around his waist completely content at where she was like she was meant to be there. He kissed her head and felt her snuggle further into him, his arms tightening around her in response. She felt that all the worries she had melt and fall away while she was pressed against him and she quietly dammed the armour from allowing her closer.

Cullen didn't know how long they stood holding each other, he didn't care. He wanted it to last forever, if this was how close he would get he would die a happy man, holding the woman he could love but never have. He felt her sigh and he knew it was almost over. She pulled away reluctantly and smiled up at him.

"Wouldn't you get in trouble for that?" she said jokingly.

He looked down at her and smiled.

"For comforting a _friend_, I don't think so."

She mused over his words and quickly broke away from him as they heard the door click. Yes, the boundaries Cullen thought.

Alistair came in with River on his shoulders, her eyes beaming and her mouth hanging open smiling at her mother and Cullen.

"Mommy, Cullen!"

"Hello my dear. Did you have fun?" she said smiling at her.

"Yes! Daddy brought me a new robe from Denerim!" she said as Alistair lifted her down from his shoulders.

She pranced and spun around for all of them to admire.

"Well that is beautiful. Did you thank your father?"

"Yes I did Mommy." She stopped and looked at the three adults; the looks between them sparked her curiosity.

"Why are you and Cullen here? Are you not working Mommy?"

She saw her mother falter to speak and Cullen quickly took over.

"Your Mother and Father have something important to tell you, River."

Ami sent him a _thank you_ look; she couldn't have begun the conversation otherwise. She knelt and beckoned River to her arms lifting her. She settled in a chair and sat her on her knee; Alistair had followed and took a chair a few paces away, while Cullen stood near the door. Alistair nodded at Cullen and watched as he moved nearer the door; he'd ask Ami about him later he thought.

They began telling her how much both of them loved her and that neither of them wanted her to feel that she wasn't loved. They told her how they met, about the Blight and about being Grey Wardens. She nodded understanding the majority of what had been said, she knew all this, they had told her she thought.

"The thing we haven't told you is about your father and King Cailan." Ami says quietly looking at Alistair.

He shuffled closer.

"River, you have to understand that this doesn't change anything but we want you to know the truth about us and you."

Alistair took a deep breath.

"King Cailan was my brother, my half-brother, which after his death made me King." He looked at his daughter's face, an uncertainty over telling her anything came into his mind, was she really ready for this?

She sighed, and stood slowly from her mothers lap.

"So … what does that make me?"

"Make you? You are you. You are who you choose to be." Alistair answered his hand cupping her face.

Ami spoke quietly looking into her eyes her hand touching River's arm.

"You're father and I decided that it would be best that you grew up away from the lights of politics. People would only try and use you for their own needs. We wanted to protect you from them."

"So … it's because of me that you can't be a family?" River said, a small cry creeping out mouth.

"Don't you dare say that my love! Don't even think that!" Alistair grabbed her hands and kissed them.

"Your mother and I cannot be together because of our … our duties and the law."

"The law?" she looked between her parents, confusion wreaked across her face. Why the law wouldn't allow them to be together she couldn't understand, they loved or rather _had_ loved each other, she didn't want to understand.

Ami sighed and closed her eyes, re-opening them the pain evident in her eyes she slowly raised her gaze to River's.

"Because the Chantry does not allow mages power. The King is not allowed to marry a mage or even be with a mage. Because your father had to become King, we cannot be a family, but we cannot let the country rule by itself your father is needed as I am needed by the wardens."

"The Chantry?" River couldn't understand why the Maker would allow that.

"Yes my dear. Do you understand now? We have to be apart for the very thing that we both treasure, you. Neither of us would change that. We have a beautiful little girl that we both love and wish to keep safe."

"So it's to keep me safe? From what? Bad men?"

Alistair smiled. "Yes. In part, it's also to protect you _and_ us. Your mother made a lot of enemies during and after the Blight as did I and everything we do is for you."

"Do you understand why we kept it from you?"

River nods and smiles, tears in her eyes but she understands. It is her parent's job to protect her, as much as it is their duty to the rest of the country. She see's the relief that washes over them and see's that it hasn't been easy for them to trust her with this. This is a secret, she understands that. Like his secret that he accidently told her about.

She looks to Cullen and smiles. Her friend, she thinks he has always been there for her, holding her hand, letting her talk to him and ride on his shoulder. She is reminded of their chat the day before and sadness creeps in. She knows now that he loves her and her mother like his own, and the past few days have shown her that. She had seen the way he had looked at her mother, every laugh and conversation had illuminated his sad eyes, every time she and Ami had both entered the room it seemed to light them up even more. Every time he came back to the tower and the months they spent together telling her stories, playing with her, protecting her from the older children, being there when her mother left without him. She often thought of him as her 'other' father than just Cullen, now she understood why her real father wasn't really part of her life.

_Crack._

Suddenly she feels something change, something within her changes and fear takes over. Something on the edge of her senses causes her attention to shift, pulling her in an unknown direction. She looks at her mother, and Ami immediately recognising the desperation in her eyes, in seconds is on her feet holding her daughters shoulders.

"River what is it?"

"I-I-I don't know. Something's, something's wrong, something's wrong. Mommy!" she was now looking at her hands, Ami takes them and feels a burning sensation running along them.

_Maker's breath!_ She thought, her eyes widened as they produced a ball of fire.

Cullen was quickly there summoning his abilities and draining her slightly easing the flames but she was in hysterics shouting, calling for Ami, tears streaming her face.

She feels him grab her head between his hands and ordered her to look at him. The fear in her eyes was visible as she looked at him.

"River." He growls, "River. Look at me. Look at my eyes. Now remember what I told you. You are safe here. You are safe!"

River feels the pull, the strong tug at the edge of her sense's calling her to let go but fear helps her fight it but only for a brief moment. The pull becomes stronger and the fear ebbs away to something else, peace, calm and then she is there. The fade on her own. But its different this time, there are no remnants of her dreams only a barren wasteland with bits and pieces of her memory. She cocks her head at the lone figure that she turns to see. She doesn't know them but she feels like she should. He's an older man, older than her father but with the same kindness in his eyes. He has a beard and moustache much like Uncle Oghren's but it is short, not like Oghren's long tassels that she pulls at. His hair is long and tied back but it is only then she see's his two blades at his back, the fear comes back again and she steps back.

"Please my dear. Do not fear me. I am Duncan, a Grey Warden".

~v~

Cullen watches as her eyes rolled back and she faints on the floor. Ami is quickly their holding her, palms checking her head, cradling her in her arms her tears running down her face.

Alistair is shouting at Cullen to get Wynne but he wants to stay. It takes Alistair a few seconds of shaking for him to leave but Ami is quickly following behind him carrying the limp form. Alistair is shouting at her to let him taker her. Cullen doesn't really hear him, his mind is filled with a red hot fog his only thoughts are help, he _must_ find help. He glances at Ami and knows by the look in her face what she's doing. Her face is set like stone, determination and anger; she's locked down her emotions as much as she can, marching behind Cullen ignoring Alistair's pleas. She glares at him.

_This is our daughter I know what I'm doing. _Cullen can see that behind the mask.

He could feel the veil tearing and he knows they had to act and soon. They neared Wynne's office and he threw the door open, shouting at her for help. Cullen went to her desk and threw everything off it as Ami began gently placing the girl on the desk, her voice cracking soothing words over the child. Alistair hovered about babbling making a nuisance of himself and it wasn't until Ami shouted at him that he shut his mouth.

She was looking desperately at Wynne for answers as her little girl was examined. Cullen had stood close his hands brushing against Ami's. She grabbed for it after Wynne took over and he hadn't even realised until he felt her hand grip tighter. He gently squeezed her hand and nodded her reassurance; it was now a question of waiting.

~v~

Four days passed, Cullen had been watching her for four days and he was exhausted. Unlike Ami he wouldn't sleep, not that she slept for long but she did sleep. Alistair had paced and paced, until Wynne cast him out, remarking he would carve a valley in the stone if he didn't stop. Cullen just watched. He was good at that, he could handle that. He watched Ami, she had looked so grave and pale the last few days and Wynne's diagnosis did nothing but add to the weight; he desperately wanted to hold her.

"It's to do with the taint. Or its residue? She has it but I can't explain it's like it's diluted like it's not fully the taint and it explains her faint. Her abilities however, I think when you were talking to her; her emotional state triggered the development of them."

"Wynne I don't care about the magic. Is it related to mine?" Ami had cried.

Wynne nodded. Relief washed over Ami, Cullen could see it and he watched her sit back beside her daughter and he sighed silently and thanked the Maker. He didn't understand what Ami meant by their faints being related but he took her relief as a good sign that River would be fine.

"I'm worried however. It is taking her longer than necessary to recover from this exhaustion. I'm worried about her being in the fade. Ami are you listening to me?"

Cullen watched as Ami placed her hand on River's head, eyes closed but searching.

"She's alright Wynne."

"How do you know?"

"It's something. I-I can't describe it. It's the same feeling I had when I found out about her, just a presence that is at the edge of my senses. I _feel_ her so I _know_ when there is something wrong with her. Though this is the first time I've felt it this strongly. She watched over by something else."

Cullen remembered her talking to him before they returned. Somehow in mid-sentence she'd stop and stare into space for a few moments before continuing. She had even told him that she felt River had been left alone for long enough and had sent him back. Maybe she felt that River needed her, or was going to need her and that is why she came back too Cullen wondered.

Ami sighed heavily and looked to Cullen. He knew she wanted him to sleep but he wouldn't, he couldn't leave her side. He wanted to be there if she awoke to see a friendly face after her days asleep. He shook his head at Ami and she clenched her hands at him making him smirk.

"Wynne will you see that you get another cot put in here."

"You're not staying here."

"It's not for me Wynne. Cullen wants to watch and I'm sure you already have Greagoir breathing down your neck about this."

Wynne looked at Cullen smiled and then nodded. Cullen knew Greagoir had indeed been hovering over the older mage's shoulder like another head and it would mean River would be watched by friendly eyes.

"I'll let Alistair know what's going on. He can read through some of my notes and maybe he'll stop being an ass about everything." Ami sighed.

She was tired but Cullen looked as though his legs would give any minute. He'd been standing watch for nearly four days barely eating and only leaving when Carrol made him. Which was not often, Carrol was a mouse compared to Cullen. She was worried about River, him, Alistair. _Ugh Alistair_, she though. She shook her head, it was time she moved on. Move on from pain and step out, she had been avoiding him for too long, the tension between them had been building and she wanted it gone. She knew the only person who could do that would be herself but she struggled. She smiled at Cullen and Wynne and left, she needed to deal with Alistair and that wasn't going to be easy.

~v~

River had decided she liked Duncan. He was funny and kind and told her many things. But he _kept_ disappearing. She had only spoken to him a few minute before he apologized and vanished when she had first arrived in the fade and it continued to happen. She hated the fade though. Her mother had warned her about it and that they both were very sensitive to the realm. Her mother had believed that it was due to their connection. River had always felt her mother nearby even when she was off travelling with the Wardens she had always felt safe knowing she knew where she was and that her mother wasn't in danger, at least some of the time. She could sense her mother now but there was something in the air that prevented her from leaving.

She sighed. _How do I get home?_

She had wandered the barren wasteland and found herself remembering what happened before she ended up here. She had cast before ending here.

_I cast? How?_ She blinked as she looked at her hands, turning them over, inspecting them intently.

"You definitely look exactly like you're mother."

She looked up and saw Duncan again.

"Why do you keep going away?"

"Defiantly you're mother. I remember when she was here like you are now, so scared and angry about things" He chuckled.

She scowled folded her arms and tilted her head, "You didn't answer the question."

"My child you're parents are evident in you down to the last quirk but yes I didn't."

A moment of silence passed between them before he began to speak again.

"It doesn't really matter why I keep leaving. What's important is that we need to get you out of here before, before they find you here."

"Before _who_ finds me here?"

"Demons child. Think of this as pre-harrowing experience."

"But I'm not a mage!"

"You're not? Then how did you get here?"

"I-I … w-what? I'm a mage?"

"You're mother is and you're father's a templar. It makes sense that you would have some degree of ability does it not?"

She scowled at him which only made him chuckle slightly.

"I don't know any spells!"

"You're in the fade; it is a place that is commanded by your will, so … command."

Then he vanished again.

"Nug humper!" she yelled.

~v~

She found him where she had been training the night before. Much like Cullen had been when she had found him, fighting the dummy and much to her annoyance winning. The wards did not protect against thrashing ex-templar's only spells, she frowned as the dummy she had tried to incinerate lay in pieces.

"You do know the Templar training room is at the other end of the tower?"

He didn't answer.

"Alistair!"

"Have you spent much time there?" he answered blankly.

"What? I live here it's not hard to know where things are. Besides I came to talk to you about River."

He nodded and sheathed his sword. Unlike when she had interrupted Cullen Alistair was in full armour and she was grateful, she didn't need anymore of these distractions.

"Wynne thinks she has the taint." She said quietly.

"What!" now she had his full attention, he swung his whole body around to face her.

"She's not sure. She thinks she has it but it's different than ours. It's not affecting her in the same way. She's going to be fine Alistair but her abilities have surfaced, she's going to be a mage."

"It makes sense that she be a mage but Ami, the taint? How long will she have?" he looked at her pleading.

She shook her head and folded her arms.

"I don't know but it's another reason why I should crack on with my research and Avernas has offered his help too. I-I'm going to take him up on it."

His face darkened as she finished. He looked away quickly trying to glare at something else.

"Blood magic Ami. Really? Is that going to help?"

"Alistair from my research the very Joining ritual is a blood magic ritual! So don't be a hypocrite!"

"Two wrongs don't make a right! That man shouldn't even still be alive Ami, he's done terrible things in the name of research!" he was disgusted by Avernas, but Ami needed him, his knowledge was too important.

"Yes but it may save our little girl! Do you really want me to deny her a future or the Wardens a future other than Orzammar?"

"That's not the point Ami! It changes people! You know this!" he regretted those words.

"_Do not_ bring Jowan into this, he is a changed man!" she closed her eyes and shook her head at him.

"I'm not!" he roared, "but if you think you're going to let him experiment on you your wrong!"

"I'm not saying that Alistair!" She clenched her hands and lowered them to her side, "Maker forbid that I'm not allowed to try and find something that could save her life or our lives for that matter!"

He felt the veil shift and looked at her. There was so much anger buried underneath what she was saying behind, but he didn't want to lose either of them to Blood Magic.

"Ami, calm down. Please!" he pressed.

"No! I won't _calm down_ Alistair. You have no idea what it's been like. No idea. You sit in Denerim with your wife and son, ruling the country fairly and justly like I knew you would. All the while I'm left here dealing with the daily life of being a Warden, a mage and a mother to a little girl who might be _dying_ for all we know."

"Are you saying this is my fault?" he looked at her blankly.

"For the love of Andraste Alistair I don't know! I don't care! All I'm saying is that you have no idea how hard it is doing this on your own." She shouldn't have thrown that at him but years of suppressed pain had began to surface.

"Do you regret us?" he said suddenly.

"What?" the suddenness of his statement threw her off and she just blinked at him. It snapped her back to the thought of hurting him.

"Simple question really."

"No. Of course not." she felt the anger subside slightly, "Why would you even say that?" she added quietly.

Alistair shook his head; his gaze lowered to the floor then lifted back up to meet hers.

"It just seems that you can't even look at me anymore without rage. We haven't spoken really in two years Ami. I miss my friend, my fellow Warden! Have I really hurt you that much?"

"I know. I'm sorry but I-I've a lot to think about. I just … can't handle looking at you with River. I can't, it hurts too much." She said barley even a whisper.

"So you leave and let yourself be experimented on by scary Blood Mages," he stopped her before she spoke a retort, "I mean ex-scary Blood Mages".

She scowled at him as he smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood.

"Do you think River is the only reason I come. I want to spend time with you too, as a friend. We were friends before we fell for each other! I miss you, _for you_ not just because you're the mother of my child."

He sighed and touched her face gently. Then pulled her close and hugged her tightly. He waited until she relaxed and held on for a few moments longer before letting her go. He felt the tension in the veil relax and subside as she began to calm down. He looked down at her and smiled as she sighed and nodded.

_I have held on to this for too long_, she thought. _He is part of me forever as I am part of him. There is no point in fighting that anymore, it shouldn't be pain, it is the way things are suppose to be. _

"I know. I-I've missed you too. Look. Come by my study and I'll show you some of the research I've done, you can at least get an _understanding_ of what I'm telling you."

"At least the tension is gone, if be it a little." He smirked and she chuckled.

"Yes. At least a little. I have missed you friend, I have. Maybe once she's came around we can spend some time together. Is that alright friend?"

"I wouldn't mind going for a walk with you now?"

She smiled and nodded as he took her arm in his guiding her to the door.

It was the first real conversation that they had had in two years. Two years, Ami sighed had it really been that long.

_Sometimes its easier going back to the beginning_, she thought.

~v~

_So basically I'm writing in the relationship between the characters here. Ami has struggled with River and Alistair's relationship which has came out here in the last scene. _

_Ami's research into the taint is causing a few tension between a few of the others, well it is Blood Magic after all, it's not like she's not done it before. I added Avernas in the earlier chapter but at that time my mind went blank to what his name was lol. _

_It's also in this chapter that you get the idea that there's more to River than just her parents, her version of the taint is going to shape the sequel that I'm planning on writing after this. At the moment this is Ami's story and how she's going to deal and work through her research along with her relationship with Cullen, or lack thereof. _

_Alistair is going to get more involved in this but the next chapter is going to focus on River and her escape from the fade; with a little help from Ami. It's also going to see River's attempt at Matchmaking. mousemage_


	8. Dancing Demons and Matchmaking

8. Dancing Demons and Matchmaking

Cullen laid on the cot next to River just a few steps away. He had succumbed to sleep after four days of watching her, with nothing happening. She had remained in the same state and it was taking its toll on everyone, he feared that if she didn't wake soon they would go mad. His dreams had woken him, dreams he didn't want to think about at that moment and he glanced over to the sleeping child. She looked perfectly normal, perfectly still and content with her dreams but Cullen knew she wasn't dreaming, she was being tested and by what he wasn't sure. They were all being tested. He felt the draft from the door opening as Ami entered. She smiled at him and it occurred to him that she looked a bit different. Her aura seemed lighter and she didn't seem as guarded as she usually was.

"No change?"

He shook his head and smiled at her as she sat at the end of River's cot.

"How are you?" he asked, it was the first they'd spoken since River had lost consciousness.

"Better." She sighed, "A lot better." She stroked River's cheek as she stood again and while smiling at him moved towards him.

He felt his breath hitch as she sat on the edge of his cot.

_Thank the Maker I'm fully clothed_, he thought as she settled.

"I-I want to thank you Cullen. If you hadn't used your Templar skills on her she could have had really bad burns or burned us all." She said, her eyes not lifting from her hands which were placed on her knees.

"Its fine Ami, I'm just glad you're both alright. Though I'm worried about her, like Wynne said ... being in the fade."

"That's why I need your help."

"Help?"

"I'm worried about her too. She should be awake by now but she's not. The only thing I can sense is that she's hasn't come to any harm but I have the strangest feeling that there is something else keeping her there." She looked over to River and then switched back to Cullen, he could see that she was pleading with him to help her.

"You need to explain this to me Ami. Slowly. I don't understand." He sat up straighter, his expression confused.

"River and I have shared a 'connection' ever since I found out I was pregnant. It's the reason why I fainted and ended up in the infirmary."

Cullen nodded, understanding that part.

"The connection is through our shared blood and the taint. River has the taint but she has none of the harmful properties of it as far as I can tell she's perfectly immune to it. When she's old enough she'll be able to hear the darkspawn and sense the other Wardens but for the moment it allows us to remain aware of only each other."

"You're telling me that River and you have a way of communicating through blood?" Cullen was slightly disturbed by that but he knew it hadn't been intentional.

"I know you're concerned by it but I assure you. It is not blood magic. It is merely the Maker casting his hand in this." She touched his arm as she spoke, reassuring him that it wasn't anything forced on the two of them.

"So what now?"

"She is vulnerable in the Fade, not just because she's now a mage but the taint in her blood acts as a beacon. They are attracted to her, because of the evil and rot the taint spreads. She's more vulnerable than any 'normal' mage."

"So she could become an abomination?" fear gripped Cullen's voice.

Ami only nodded, she didn't want to think about it that's why she was telling Cullen her plan.

"I need you to help me enter the fade. Or rather River's part of the fade. I need to help her; I'm the only one who can find her."

Cullen nodded. "What do you need me to do?"

She laughed and smiled.

"Perform your duty Ser, as I enter watch me. Cleanse the area and ground me, make me immobile. If I can't get both of us out I will send River out and reside my fate to the Maker and make peace with him."

Cullen narrowed his eyes at her, "You're not going to do that Ami. You can't!"

She only smiled at him at his outburst.

"I will. If I must Cullen, that's why I want you here. To strike me down if I can't get both of us out."

She held his face in her hands, "I don't want to hurt you. Not again. But I need to do this, she is everything to me Cullen, she gave me life. If I become one strike me down, my hands were meant for killing darkspawn and defeating the Blight not hurting the ones I love. I can't ask Alistair he'd only make us wait and we don't have time."

She kissed him gently and slowly rose off the cot. She was about to turn when he grabbed her wrist.

"You won't fail. No demon would be stupid enough to try and best you." He answered quietly. He stood and raising his hands to hold her shoulders brought her against him in a tight embrace.

"But I will do as you ask, all I ask is that you are careful and avoid the Desire demons. She's a nasty piece of work." He chuckled quietly into her neck.

She smiled slightly and then her expression slowly dropped.

"I've never apologized to you for what happened."

"Hush." He pushed her away and taking her head in his hands stared into her eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You had enough things to think about than me. You had the Blight. I've dealt with Desire, I came out stronger and more in love with you than I ever though possible. Do not think on it."

She let her head fall and nodded silently. His stare was intense and he lifted her chin to look at him again. His voice was soft and low as he spoke to her.

"Ami, you have _nothing_ to apologize for. I have had more joy in the past six years than I ever desired. _You_ made that happen because _you_ were willing to make the difficult decisions that no-one else would. Go and help your daughter, I will be here as I should and always will be."

He kissed her forehead and gently led her to River's side. Ami sighed and pulled a large bottle of lyrium out from her robe and drank; a large dose Cullen noted but he knew it was necessary to enter the fade. She sat in the chair by River's bed and looked at him.

"Ready?"

Cullen nodded, standing by her side sword drawn watching as she settled into the chair.

She closed her eye and sensed the edges of her mind, trying to cross over to the fade where her little girl was held captive. _I will find you my little one I _will_ find you_. Blackness enveloped her as she continued to try and find the edges of it.

And there it was the Fade.

Ami opens her eyes as she feel's the familiar tug of the Fade's aura. She adjusts to the haze and distortion of it essence, more so than usual but she doesn't let it register in her mind. Her only thoughts are about River and the demons that will now be trying to find them both. One being with the taint is a beacon attractive but always flickering, two and it's like two candle being lit in a dark room, instant attraction to both of them. She had to hurry and find her first before they did.

~v~

"You seem to be getting the hang of it child."

"Humph. It be so much easier if you'd stop talking to me," River replied and stuck out her tongue at Duncan.

He chuckled and shook his head.

"I am only talking so that you can remember that you are not the only one here."

River grunted a reply as she concentrated on the form in front of her. She was finding it relatively easy to command things in the fade. She had already been able to summon snow and ice crystals, forming them into shapes and manipulating them with her hands. She had created a staff out of a branch much like her mothers but with a thin clear glass cord that wrapped around it from top to bottom. She was surprised how it helped her focus. She was trying to bend and move the chair that stood in front of her, it was taxing but the chair had moved.

Her head was hazy, she could feel the beat of the fade seeking to sap the energy she had and Duncan's constant reminders of vigilance kept her grounded. She wanted her mother to be with her, she didn't understand the fade that well and Duncan was not the sort to talk much about the fade. She needed a guide.

"Tell me Duncan, who are you _really_?"

Duncan laughed.

"You are you're mother's daughter, nothing seems to get passed you."

"My Mommy mentioned a Duncan, you could be a demon feeding off my memories and tricking me into spending my energy."

She eyed the man out of the corner of her eye, if he was a demon she would have to get away quickly. He only laughed again and placed a hand on her shoulder.

_He hadn't been that close a moment ago_, thought River.

"I was your mother and father's mentor. I died at Ostagar with King Cailin and the rest of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden."

"Then why are you here?"

He shrugged. "I do not know the answer to that question. I only know that I cannot leave yet. My task is not complete."

"How do I know you aren't a demon then?"

"Child would a demon not try and lure you with someone you know? Rather than some stranger that your parents knew from a lifetime ago, give the demon a little credit."

She sighed and ignored him. She wasn't sure whether to believe him or not yet, time would tell. All she knew was that her time here felt short but she felt slightly older, wiser even it had had a strange effect on her. She was still the bouncing little girl she was but her situation filled her with caution and a guarded wall had begun building, she could feel it.

~v~

_The fade is another realm, the realm of dreams for those not sensitive and the realm of demons for those who are. _

This was Ami's first lesson on the fade.

The fade to her now wasn't a realm of just demons that haunted her but ghosts, ghosts from her past both welcomed and resented. She remembered she was around five when she first recognized that the fade was different from the 'normal' children in her village. Instead of kittens and princes following her she had horrible creatures and the feel of being watched was constant. It wasn't long after that, that her powers had surfaced and she was taken to the circle with more eyes watching her. Day and night, the watching never ended but in the fade it was intense and hounding she loathed sleeping. She remembered shouting at her watchers in the fade, trying to call them out confront them about their insufferable watching, they never did come. Then after she had became a Warden she had another presence watch her, the arch demon and its underlings. She had never had a fade experience without them all watching.

"Spirit," she whispered, "Please, please show me the way. I need to find her."

Ami had now sat, her legs folded beneath her and her hands on her lap; she was waiting. She closed her eyes and relaxed trying to push the thoughts out of her mind only concentrating on River and the spirit.

_Please help me. Please. I need to find her; she's the only thing that matters. Please. _

_Why do you say she is the only thing that matters when you know that is not true, __**Amell**__. _

The voice was one and many voices combined into a single stream, it echoed around her but seemed to come from one place, within her.

_How do you know my name?_ Ami asks.

_We know much about you Amell, Amilia Grey Warden, Mage and Mother of the Theirin child. We have watched you from your first brilliant moment of life, with great interest and anticipation. _

_Why? _

_You and the Theirin are destined for great things, great things. Your path has been followed and we know the threat that you and she face. _

_That did not answer my question_. She replied angrily.

_You will know when the time comes but the Theirin needs you now. We could only offer hiding and preparation nothing else; she is preparing but is not strong … yet. _

_Where is she?_

_Follow the whispers. _

Ami stood and listened, laughter, a child's laughter. She narrowed the sound and took off in a run.

_I'm coming my little one, hold on. _

~v~

River stopped moving. She felt a buzzing at the edge of her senses. Something or was it someone was close? She thought and shook her head. The haze of the fade had become heavy on her mind; she needed focus and closed her eyes. She often had seen Cullen do the same when he wanted to have his mind clear or speak his words clearly. She breathed in and out as she had seen him do steadily for a few moments and collected her thoughts.

_Who is that?_

_River?_

_Mommy?_

_Yes, oh my little one I'm here. I shall see you soon, be careful._

River opened her eyes, she could sense her now, stronger much stronger than before. She was _here _in the fade, looking for her. She suppressed the urge to pull her mother towards her remembering Duncan and her words, be careful. This was the fade, things were not always what they seemed but River knew this was her mother, the bond was strong, stronger than she had ever felt it before but it was real, the only real thing here.

"River!"

She turned and saw her there, relief painted across her face. River ran to her mother and they hugged tightly.

"How long Mommy?"

"Four days child. The longest four days of my life!" she cried as she hugged the little girl tightly.

"There are demons Mommy," she began.

"I know darling we need to go now but I know there is something keeping you here."

"That there is Ami."

Ami turned to see a familiar sight.

"Duncan." She said quietly.

"Yes my friend."

"You are _still_ here, why?" she quizzed.

"As I have said to River, my task is not yet over, I cannot pass yet."

"I don't understand, the last time we met."

"The last time we met I told you of River, yes I remember. I do watch you both."

"Why? Why do they and you watch us?"

"I cannot say you are not ready yet. Either of you. She needs further preparation Ami but she is strong like you, in time she will be just and gentle like her father. Keep in mind that there is more than meets the eye in everything."

"You spirits and your cryptic messages!" Ami bashed.

He smiled at her and bowed.

"I shall see you when you are ready, be safe and be happy and Ami?"

"Yes?"

"Do not let boundaries stop you. There is hope, talk with Alistair and Cullen. There is a way, if you are willing to believe, have faith and try."

"How did y" she stopped and huffed, "…. Never mind I know the answer. But I don't understand, ugh! You men are insufferable!" she scowled.

Duncan chuckled and nodded.

"Be safe child." He said to River and taking his arms to his chest bowed again and was gone.

"Dam that man and his vanishing antics," cursed Ami.

She looked down to River and taking her hand they began to walk.

"Do you know where we're going Mommy?"

"Nope but I'm sure any minute now we're going to have a demon on our tail. We need to leave, somehow"

She bent down to be level with her daughter.

"River, when it happens you need to be ready, pace what you've learned but do not and I repeat _do not_ leave my sight. I will protect you or die trying understand?"

She vigorously nodded.

"That's my River."

She stood and squeezing her hand, they began to walk again. The buzzing in Ami's head grew and she felt the dampening of the spirits that trapped them here, _they would have to work for their meal_ she scoffed.

_Crack._

The demon appeared. A sloth demon. _Typical_, Ami thought.

_Crack. _

Another demon appeared, Desire. _Great_, she thought sarcastically.

_Crack. _

_Oh for the love of Andraste! Rage too!_ She had just about enough of them and the fade now.

Three demons against her and she had River to protect.

_The Maker has a funny sense of humour_ she thought.

"River," she hissed, "Get. Down."

The child obeyed immediately and shrank to the fade floor slowly as the three demons approached her mother.

_Crack. _

River looked up and saw her mother standing in front of her, her head was tilted down, her hands out to her side each one cupping a lightening spell. River could see the lightening dancing between her fingers; it filled her with awe as her mother approached three demons on her own.

Her mother was a warrior mage, an arcane warrior, she wore light armour if needs be but the majority of the time she wore enhanced robes she hated the confines of the armour. Her mother appeared in her chasined robes, cut specifically low so she could move more easily but enhanced with lyrium to add her mana. Over her robes she had her favourite cloak, repairs and patches adorned this cloak but Ami would never go anywhere without it. River had regarded it as her lucky charm and always handled it with care.

Ami rarely hid her face but River knew to avoid the attention she'd often get being the 'Hero of Ferelden' even six years on the hood hid her well except her extremely long hair now. Now when facing the demons her hair hung behind her with the usual rogue curly lock hanging down her right cheek. River watched as she sized up the three high level demons.

"Did you wish to escort us out or try to converse?" she began.

"We came for the child of course." Answered Sloth.

Ami flicked her gaze between the demons, Desire her usual _touching_ self to her right, Rage, his flames licking about him to her left and Sloth in front. She was outnumbered greatly but she could handle it she thought, she had to.

"Shall we test your metal, Mage? Or shall we merely show you. You can have your desires, only submit yourself." Answered Desire.

Anger burned in Ami's veins. Cullen came to the forefront of her mind when she glared at Desire, revenge urged her to slice the demon's head clean off its shoulders but she gritted her teeth and calmed herself.

"Wait," Desire said, "I know you. You were the Templar's desire. What a _joy_ to see you, how is the Templar? I do miss him so."

Ami's blood boiled even more, it was the same demon that had tortured Cullen.

"It will make your death all the sweeter." She whispered back malice dripping in her words.

"Shame. He was such a pretty one too. No matter I will enjoy devouring your soul, Mage."

Ami grinned widely as she looked at the demons, they still had not realised who she was.

"I am not just any Mage. I am a Grey Warden of Ferelden, the dragon slayer, the ender of the Blight. I say now and only now, leave us be and let us pass or fall like those before you."

The demons remained quiet for a time, Ami's face remained fixed, her gaze moving between the demons.

"You think you can defeat us, Mage?" Sloth asked quietly.

"I do not think. I know!" she shouted.

She cast one hand at Sloth the other at Desire, she quickly flipped to freeze Rage with a cone of cold and immobilised him. One down she mused and turned back to the other two who had began their attacks.

She winced as Desire's hex's passed over her, trying to slow her reactions and blind her thoughts with images.

_Mental strength_, she mused, _willpower against infiltration, sheer will against the dark._

Sloth attempted to come behind her as Desire attacked in front but turning on one foot she launched a Stone fist spell at him casting him back a few paces. She quickly turned back pivoting on the same foot and shot an arcane bolt at Desire and dispelled her hexes.

River watched in awe at her mother. Never had she seen her cast spell after spell, and moving at the same time. It was like watching her dance while weaving and wielding her powers above her. Something caught River's eye and it made her shriek in fear. Rage had not been completely immobilised, the ice was beginning to melt and his prison bars slowly falling beneath him. River glanced at her mother, she didn't see him, she didn't see him creeping closer to her about to cast against her.

"No! Mommy!" she felt herself scream.

Ami quickly turned but it was too late, Rage already cast a fire bolt at her and she was thrown down a few feet away from River. She was still, breathing but she wasn't moving. Fear was replaced by rage in River.

How dare they! How dare they hurt her mother.

She felt her blood boil and her skin crawl and shiver at the new emotion that crept over her. She stood and glared at the demons who, like a pack of vultures, were beginning to circle her unconscious mother.

"Stay away from her!"

The demons seemed to glance at her for a moment before returning to Ami.

"I said stay away from her!" she growled.

She had now put herself between the demons and Ami, hands clenched and her eyes ablaze with hatred.

"You will not touch her. Or me!"

Sloth laughed a long low cackle that made River's very soul crawl. Desire merely pouted and Rage laughed low and gruffly at the little human in front of them.

"What will you do child?"

River smirked at Sloth and outstretched her hand at them.

"I command this part of the fade. This is my fade. You are not welcome here."

Again the demons laughed but it was short lived.

River felt the usual tug of the fade and moving her hand bent it to her will.

"Be gone demons. We are not your servants today!"

"You have no power," spat Sloth through gritted teeth.

"No? Then why does Rage look so pale?"

The two demons glanced at Rage, he had faded, becoming almost transparent and he shrieked at River, cursing her.

"Holy Andraste's knicker's River!" Ami exclaimed, sitting up and looking at the demons shocked at her daughter's ability.

"Thought you might need a hand Mommy." River merely said smiling at her.

Ami grinned widely and slowly rose to her feet.

"Do you wish to leave or continue your assault?"

Rage was the first to relinquish, melting into the shifting floor of the fade.

One down.

Sloth and Desire were a different matter. They continued to stare at them both, watching their moves.

River could feel her mothers emotions, an overwhelming of caution came off her mother's demeanour.

"Well? Your friend has left. What now?"

Desire struck first but Ami was quicker she parried her attack with her staff and another movement of her hands, another cone of cold spell and the pleasure demon was almost done.

"You underestimate us Sloth. You're friend will feel my wrath for hurting someone I dearly love." Ami growled loudly.

By using stone fist she shatters Desire into a number of large pieces and then before she turned back to Sloth she glowered at the remains.

"That. That was for Cullen you torturing harlot."

She panted, as she turned to the final demon, her energy beginning to falter but she had not doubt she would end this regardless rage and pain fuelled her.

"Two down. Are you sure you still want to fight me now?"

"I will wait Warden." He muttered and vanished, leaving Ami and River alone in the fade.

Victory.

~v~

"I swear if you don't put that sword down I'll kill you Cullen."

Ami could feel the fade beginning to let go to reality as the voices that surrounded her grew louder. She could tell Alistair was there and had now begun threatening poor Cullen.

_You are an idiot Alistair_, she thought.

"I will do no such thing. She asked me to." Cullen said, his sword raised above Ami's chest.

"And I'm overriding her. Step down!"

Alistair was in the doorway bellowing at him to put it down. Cullen doesn't think he's ever seen the King so angry at him before, it unnerves him slightly but she asked him to do this.

_For her_, he thinks.

"No!"

"Damit man I _will_ kill you if you hurt her."

"Well it's good for me that I won't. I'll kill the demon that she may turn into! Like she _asked_ me too." He spits back, glancing at the reddening face of the dark blonde man.

"Maker's Breath are you insane? She's not a demon!"

_Shut up Alistair, _Cullen thinks.

Then he hears it. A gasp.

"C-Cullen," he feels her voice stir.

He quickly places a hand against her cheek and then a kiss on her forehead.

"You did it?" he breaths quietly.

He see's her head nod and a deep sigh escapes from her chest.

"Thank the Maker. I was terrified you wouldn't come back."

Ami feels him embrace her tightly before letting her gently sit up from the chair. She opened her eyes to see Cullen smiling with relief and joy in his eyes and then turned to see Alistair, his face a mixture of fear, rage and confusion. She didn't care about Alistair at that moment; she _had _to kiss Cullen, her sudden movement causing him to jerk back as she kissed him firmly.

"What the hell" but Alistair was interrupted by the squeal of River.

"Daddy!"

Alistair snapped his gaze back at the little girl now sitting up, wide awake and grinning widely as she looked between him and her mother. He turned back to Ami and Cullen who were now standing. Cullen held her hand up to his chest and a silent understanding flowed between them, he now understood what was going on. River giggled and hugged her father.

"River!" he gasped.

"Daddy. I missed you! Mommy came to find me and we fought demons!"

"D-demons?"

"Yes! Mommy was so strong but she got hit by one and so I had to help her. I made one fade away!"

Alistair didn't really understand but nodded and hugged her tightly. He glanced back at Ami, tears were streamed down her face as she buried her face into Cullen's chest and he hugged her tightly saying things Alistair couldn't hear. He felt River move in his grasp.

"Daddy. Don't be angry with her, she came to find me." She whispered.

"I'm not angry with her River. Just worried about her and … him." He narrowed his eyes at Cullen's direction.

River laughed and he looked at her. She smiled at her father, he mouths _how long? _She giggled louder.

"Forever Daddy, but Mommy only found out a few days ago."

Alistair nodded and tightened his hold on his daughter. She hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek.

"I'll have to talk to her. Later."

"You don't have to worry about Mommy now Daddy, she has Cullen to watch over her now."

"That's what I'm worried about."

River looked at him.

"Don't hurt him Daddy. I don't want her to be alone anymore. You have the Queen in Denerim and Mommy has Cullen."

Alistair was surprised by his daughter.

She doesn't want her to be alone? _Oh_, he thought. She wants her to be complete, she wants Ami to have more than just her and the Wardens and the Circle. She wants someone to _share it_ with Ami.

_Why didn't you just tell me that Ami?_

He looked back at Ami and smiled. She did seem happier and more relaxed since their walk but she had been hiding something. It almost had felt like the last few years hadn't happened and he remembered why he fell in love with her in the first place. That was almost a lifetime ago, now she was in love again and she deserved it, every bit of it and he wouldn't step in the way of that. He sighed and thanked the Maker that she had been given that chance finally. The only problem was how long it lasted, River was happy for now about it, she almost seemed relieved that it had been Cullen but he wouldn't let her suffer the pain of it being torn away from her. No, they would have to talk about this, even if it was awkward.

_Maker, awkward is not the word_ thought Alistair.

He watched as his daughter hugged Cullen, he noticed the same love in his eyes that he has for her and could never doubt that the man loved them both entirely. He knew the man would always do what was best for them, he would die for them but he knew Alistair's place in this and that made Alistair approve of him more. He would help them as much as he could to help them make it, it was the least he could do since he couldn't have his dream.

_I will help them. I just don't know where to start. _

~v~

* * *

Another chapter down and I'm feeling so good about this one!

Shout out to a few people who inspire me to write this FF. Notlaura, thanks so much for pointing my earlier mistakes, Pam you are a legend when it comes to motivation, and the people I mentioned at the end of the previous chapter, your stories and idea's have inspired this and I give credit to where credit is due.

I always find action scenes easier to write, same with some dialogue bits but I loved writing this chapter.

The next one is going to hopefully see Ami, Cullen and Alistair get down to the awkward bits … poor Cullen he has no idea. It's also in this chapter that Ami will start to have her flashbacks.

I hope you've enjoyed this new chapter, please leave me a message or a comment with any idea's or suggestions.

Thanks mousemage


	9. Remnant of the Past

9. Remnant of the Past

She had just had her fifth birthday three days before it happened. Her mother had sent her out to get some bread from the market when she had been stopped by the older boys. They had told her to hand over the coppers her mother had given her for the bread so she ran but she didn't get far, even at that age she was stubborn and fierce.

She remembered that they had dragged her into an alley and put a knife to her, threatening her. Fear was her first emotion but then anger had quickly taken over, a blind anger at them hurting her. She remembered clutching her hands, her nails digging into her palms then slowly opening them, feeling something tickle between her finger tips as her anger built. She had looked down and saw the sparks in her hand, her surprise at it caused them to grow demanding the attention from the boys. The boy with the knife went down first, the sparks casting out to the threat and knocking him over. It wasn't long that she heard them running away screaming and it wasn't long after that, that the templar's found her, still looking at her hands. She never did find out if they boy she cast at died or had lived fearing little girls after that encounter.

She doesn't remember the travel to the tower, she doesn't remember who greeted her, she doesn't even remember her own mother's face or the boy's faces the only thing she remembered clearly was the tickling feeling the first time it happened. The bouncing sparks between her fingers she later finds out is called electricity.

That was how Ami had joined the Circle.

Now she was crying into Cullen's chest. Her friend, her love and the only one who really knew her, he was there holding her. She had ignored Alistair's stare because she wanted to focus on the thing that grounded her, that balanced her and her gift.

"You did it, she's safe," she heard him say softly.

She gripped him tighter as the tears flowed down her cheek. She had been afraid, so afraid that she had even made peace with the Maker before entering the Fade. She hadn't counted on anyone's help not even River's, a moment of hesitation from her and Ami would have been gone and taken to the Maker but her daughter had held firm.

Relief spread over her, Cullen's own calming support washing over her as he lifted her head and gently wiped her tears away. She could hear River faintly talking to Alistair but her eyes had only one thing in mind. Cullen. She pressed her forehead against his and thanked him. She felt the rumble of his chuckle as she told him about Desire, the filthy demon that tortured him and he gripped her tighter as she told him she shattered her into a number of pieces.

They broke apart slowly and she watched as Cullen walked over and took River in his arms. She felt her heart flutter as she saw him holding River, she never felt more joy than seeing them together. She dared a glance at Alistair and was surprised. There was no anger or malice in his expression there was something that she couldn't quite put her finger on or had expected from him. Was it understanding? She didn't know but she decided right then she needed to follow Duncan's advice, she had even said it herself to Cullen, there was hope but at the moment she felt detached. Duncan's presence within River's fade reminded her of her own fade experience with him, she needed to think.

Wynne had entered the room and was branding her action as foolish but understandable, she told Ami she was lucky this time, not many could face three demons and come out with a few badly bruised limbs and a cracked rib. Ami remembered to nod in the right places but wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She excused herself and told Alistair she'd talk to him later, she was tired and needed to rest. She bent down and kissed River on the cheek and she turned and smiled at Cullen. He nodded, Greagoir's orders still stood so he couldn't leave as much as he'd like to so she said she'd come and find him later.

She walked to her own room her head trying to bash out the meanings the spirits had talked about, what Duncan had talked about. She found herself remembering when she first saw him in the fade; she thought it was a demon who had tried to enthral her again, trying to torture her for not being in the battle. Much like Alistair she felt responsible for his death, believing if she had been there she could have done something about it.

She remembered him standing there a slight smile across his face.

"It's good to see you friend."

She was stunned. She didn't know what to say to him, _sorry your dead_ came to mind but the thoughts of the last time he had appeared to her dwelt heavily on her mind. Was this another demons trap?

"You need not worry about demons child. It is I."

"Why are you here?" she answered cautiously.

"To tell you something wonderful my fellow Warden, you are with child."

Ami had steeled herself at his claim. It was true, she was with child but how did he know and why was he here, should he not be in the after life with the rest?

"I can see your mind working fervently over many things. Please share with me your fears?"

"I do not have fears old man. I am merely curious why you are here and how you know of my child?" she remarked in an even tone.

He chuckled.

"Ever the cautious mage Ami. That is one of the traits that has made a good Warden. I know because it is my task to know that's all I can offer, for now."

Ami had narrowed her eyes at the man. _Still the same Duncan_ she mused, _cryptic and unflinching in his duty, was he ever just going to give a plain answer? Well not in life anyway_, she added sarcastically.

"Still it does not answer your question but my task is not complete therefore I will not pass yet until it ends. But enough of my reasons for being here, you should be wondering how you came to be here."

Ami frowned at him and then glanced around her. This was and wasn't the usual fade, it was the same but different in so many ways. She let her eyes wander around inspecting the area around her. She could see little remnants of her dreams but they were fragmented and sparse, not that she dreamt much, she hated the fade. There was always a presence that seemed to want something from her and regardless of her attempts to figure it out she was always left more confused.

"Do you know why?"

Again Duncan chuckled and shook his head.

"It is not for me to understand why the Maker does what he does, only to offer help when I can."

"Help? In what way?"

"Well, you are with child, do you wish it to walk alone in the world or to have you by its side?"

"You mean the taint? With the taint in my blood I will live a shorter life; you're offering to help me with that? I thought there is no cure or anything to extend my life with."

"Not yet."

Ami shook her head confused by the man's ramblings. There was no cure, nothing she knew of to extend her life or the lives of the other Warden's she knew that. The realisation of Duncan's words came slow to her mind and she cursed herself for being so dim.

"You want _me_ to try and find one."

Duncan's smile meant she had hit the nail on the head, he then vanished suddenly.

"D-Duncan?"

She folded her arms and huffed.

_Typical, here I am in the fade with a disappearing dead man with no idea why I'm here. I swear it's the Blight or my Harrowing all over again!_ She thought.

She began to wander the extent of her fade, stopping now and again as she felt the usual watching presence. She swore at the number of times she heard the whisperings but as soon as it started it was over and she couldn't get a fix on its direction. She was wandering blindly and in circles around the barren dreamland.

She stopped and sighed deeply, _this is getting tedious now_.

"What exactly am I supposed to be doing?" she called out. She started shouting curses out to the watchers, trying to draw them out like she used to do as an apprentice. She grinned at herself, trying to listen for any sound or reply. Nothing, her calls were met with silence.

"Typical," she muttered.

Suddenly a rumble of what she thought sounded like thunder came from all around her. She lowered herself to a crouch position and closed her eyes. Where they finally going to say something?

Her hands fell to the floor as her mind was bombarded with images, thoughts, feelings too many to count or comprehend. The force and amount of sensory imagery and emotion sent her onto all fours as she grappled the sheer magnitude of the bombardment.

"W-What? W-What are y-you t-trying to show me? I-I don't understand."

Suddenly images of the past came to mind. Her time during the Blight and her companions in the ruins in the Brecillian Forest unfolded into her mind. The phylactery of the Arcane Warrior came to her and the memories of the abilities were re-awoken in her mind. At the time she had left the images and set them aside, she didn't have the time to come to grips with new spells and abilities.

"Y-you want me train as one?"

The rumble and the images subsided and she took that as their answer. Her body relaxed as the pressure of the images subsided in her mind.

"V-very well."

So she trained in the fade. She knew that the arcane warriors had a close affinity with the fade drawing some of their mana directly from it. She knew she wouldn't be able to truly understand the significance of the arcane abilities until she had left the fade itself but she did know from the training here she would have an advantage.

She felt the presence of the child within her constantly now. It was forever an essence of calmness and patience, Ami couldn't understand why but she had dealt with her fear. She was certain of two things at that moment, she would protect her child to the death and find a cure for the taint, or at least research it as much as she could. She wouldn't be able to do it alone though, had her watchers even thought about that? She doubted it. She needed someone else, she needed help. Her companions were around but she couldn't expect them to be there forever.

She felt the rumble of the voices and their imagery flood over her again. She was ready this time and remained standing as the intense communication began. Images of the Circle when it had been broken filled her mind, the deaths the stench of demons, Uldred and then Cullen trapped in that Maker awful cage. She winched as she remembered seeing him there and the confession of his love for her, his sanity waning as she tried to talk to him. She never thought he had felt the same way, she just thought of it as a silly girls crush on a Templar, of all people. She was so angry with Uldred and with the demon that had tortured him, the battle against him was personal so personal that she allowed some of the surviving mages to turn before she came to her senses. Then afterwards the way he spoke about the surviving mages being abominations laying in wait, it had broken her heart to hear such hatred coming from him. She remembered what she wanted to say to him her words burned in her memory forever, she wanted to run to him and hold him.

"_Cullen, Cullen please, please! I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry!"_

Tears burned her eyes as she was forced to remember.

"_Please, please don't hate us, don't hate me. Please don't blame us for what the Maker made us. Please!" _

"_I love you too Cullen .............._

Ami felt the anger build at the spirit or spirits that plagued her with the image and memories and before the final words were spoken she growled at them.

"Your point spirit? What is it? To anger me further and make me regret hurting the man that stood against an entire coup, who was tortured and shamed for loving something he could never have. You are too late trying to shame and hurt me with it, I am _broken_ inside from seeing and wielding so much pain and power at helpless people."

The rumbling subsided and an air of calm and resolve surrounded her and she turned as she heard Duncan approach her.

"You are ready to return now."

"What?"

"You have learned all you can here; they have helped you enough for now and will send you back. Good luck my friend, May the Maker watch over you and your charge."

"D-Duncan,"

She reached to him but he had faded as had the rest of the fade around her. She felt the ripples of the real world beginning to demand attention. She could begin to feel her limbs and then her breathing, her stomach she knew growled for sustenance and she began to stir her eyes to open.

~v~

She found Alistair some time later in her study concern and relief etched on his face as she entered.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

She smiled at him and gave him a quick hug before sitting in the chair next to him.

"I'm better now. Fighting three demons and protecting a small child is not exactly the afternoon walk around the tower but, I'm fine, she is fine and no-one died or became an abomination." She answered light heartedly.

He let out a short laugh and nodded.

"Speaking of becoming an abomination. I owe you an explanation don't I?" she smiled and gripped his hand.

"You don't need to explain yourself Ami. At least not the Cullen part anyway. I think I understood what was going on when I saw you in his arms."

"Still, we have to talk about it regardless."

"Oh time for the juicy gossip is it?" he said leaning forward and rubbing his hands together.

She playfully punched his shoulder and he mocked her by feigning pain. She shook her head at him trying to return to the seriousness of the topic she wanted to discuss. He poured her out a glass of wine and leaned back into his chair, his own glass in hand.

"Cullen and I have only recently discussed our feelings. Nothing has happened, well because of our commitments and oaths."

"Wait. You're telling me you've not … you haven't … oh!"

Ami narrowed her eyes at him and he lifted his hands in surrender.

"I don't want you to feel threatened by him. You are River's father and he would never seek to change that but," she sighed and closed her eyes, "I don't know how to ask this."

"Take your time Ami and to save time I'm already willing to help. I've seen the way he looks at the both of you and I'm not threatened by him. _I'm the King_ how much more threatening can he get." He laughed lightly at his own joke.

Ami smiled widely trying to suppress her own laughter in. She squeezed his hand tighter and forced him to look at her seriously.

"Are you sure you want to hear about this?"

"Ami I have had to move on, so it makes sense that you do too. Trust me, at least it's not someone I hate or is Antivan." He joked raising an eyebrow at her.

"And what's wrong with Antivan?" she mocked horror at his insinuation.

They both laughed for a few moments and then relaxed. It was good to joke and be friends again Ami thought and she had been glad they had the past laid out and dealt with. It made things so much easier to deal with, even if the thing she was going to be undertaking was new and unfamiliar territory.

"So, _nothings_ happened yet? _Really?_" Alistair was slightly relieved; maybe it wasn't going to be so awkward as he thought it would be.

She smiled at him and shook her head.

"We only really kissed a few nights ago my friend. I want your help I-I … ."

"Yes well I can see where my help would come in; with him being a Templar and all but Ami you deserve someone. I know River will always come first for you and for Cullen too. What do you need?"

"Thank you friend."

"Enough!" he rolled his eyes at her "what do you need me to do woman!"

She sighed; this was it the moment of truth.

"I need you to get him out from Chantry control. But I-I want him to remain a Templar but not under their jurisdiction."

"You want him rogue then?"

"Yes. To put it simply."

Alistair pursed his lips together and looked at her and nodded. He thought this was what she wanted his help for but going against the Chantry, it was suicide on her own. Even if they somehow managed to get him out there was the other problem.

"What about the lyrium?"

The lyrium was a problem, he knew very few Templar's had been able to shake the addiction without having some sort of memory loss or some form of dependency. Even fewer were able to shake it entirely through the rest of their lives or perform the templar abilities. He hated the idea of Cullen loosing his mind to some control method the Chantry concocted up to keep their Templar's in check but he knew he was strong.

"I am sure I can convince Bhelen to supply me, discreetly. I did give him that dammed throne didn't I?" she said but he could see that the thought disturbed her.

He chuckled and nodded.

"I'll need to talk to Greagoir and I don't think he's going to like this. Not one bit. You do know you are asking me to go against the Grand Cleric, if it comes to that."

"I'm sure she's as scary as the arch demon himself," Ami replied slyly.

"You're kidding she's worse!"

Ami laughed and took another sip of her wine, shaking her heard at Alistair.

"It's not going to be easy but with Greagoir's help I'm sure we can work something out."

"I need to talk to Cullen. He doesn't even know I'm doing this Alistair. I need to make sure he wants this before you go off and do this. Ok?"

"Ok? Of course it is. I'll be here, go find him and talk then bring him here so I can give him a good lecture on how to look after my girls." He laughed pointing is finger at her.

Ami smiled and nodded, she rose to leave but before she left she knelt near Alistair and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you, for everything love."

Alistair nodded and cupped her cheek staring into her blue-grey eyes and sighed.

"Tell him he is a lucky man to have such a beautiful thing in his life. I only wish I could have had the same fortune and not lost you."

"Ali you'll never loose me. You have part of me with you and you have River and Duncan."

She took his hand in hers and kissed it, telling him she would be back as soon as possible with Cullen after she talked to him.

~v~

He couldn't believe she had kissed him in front of Alistair.

At the time he hadn't cared, she was alive and safe and so was River. Relief poured over him as she had woken up and when she kissed him it released all the stress of the situation into nothing in that perfect moment. He had held her as she cried into his chest, telling him she loved him and was so grateful he was there. She told him that she had all but expected to die in the fade and was overcome with emotion that she lived. He held her hands to his chest and the other around her back, pulling her close as she shook away the emotions.

He laughed as she told him about Desire.

"Oh Cullen it was awful! _She _was there!"

"Who?"

"Desire! The very Desire that tortured you. She _flaunted_ you in front of me."

In a seductive tone she mimicked what the demon had said and added her own reply.

"You said that?"

"Yes! I froze her then shattered her into a few pieces. Serves her right the torturous harlot! She caused you so much pain, love."

She had buried her head deeper into his chest and he tightened around her and whispered into her ear.

"Thank you for defending my honour dear lady."

He felt her chuckle a laugh through her sobs and clutch his arm tighter. He never wanted to let her go again and whispered into her ear that he would do anything and everything for her and River.

She left shortly after that but Cullen's relief was short lived as the look Alistair was giving him caused him to shift his weight nervously. He couldn't decide what expression the King was trying to convey he seemed more interested in just staring at him making Cullen more uncomfortable. He was glad when Greagoir finally came in and relieved him, telling him that now that River was awake he could resume his regular duties the next day.

He was tired and exhausted from the stress Ami had put him through. She was fine but the fact she had asked him to stand watch over her, his sword raised above her, unnerved him. He had been terrified that she wouldn't return from the fade but she had and thanked the Maker. He had went to his chambers afterwards and slept for a few hours, but his dreams were strange and fleeting and before he could even grasp a basic understanding of them he was wide awake and sitting on the edge of his bed. He shook his head trying to make sense of them, but the images just confused him more and more.

_Ami is in chains, her body slumped forward as her arms hung above her. He remembered feeling a mixture of failure and anger at himself like he was the reason she was like that. He was standing there in front of her and then him helping to free her with River by his side. But only it wasn't River or she didn't appear to be the River he knew she was older and harsher. Ami didn't move, her face was blank and she stared into nothing, completely looking through Cullen as he spoke to her. He remembers shaking in fear as Ami's lack of response to him and River's pleas. He slowly felt the dream shift and change to him holding Ami in his arms. _

_They were somewhere outside, under the stars, the only light coming from a number of torches, or was it candles, he wasn't sure, that had been placed around them. He was gazing into her eyes and she into his, a line of white flowers in her hair as it hung down her back down to her waist. She was in a simple off white dress that hung just off her shoulders and he felt like he was dancing. This was better, but his bliss was short lived. _

_She faded in front of him and something about the way the next image came was wrong in Cullen's mind. It was a battlefield; he was looking down it from a slight hill nearby as two sides fought against each other and he could see her in the dress, clear as any other day. She was walking amongst the carnage that unfolded around her, unflinching as she walked through it. She was near the front lines when he saw the axe come clean across to strike at her and it was then he woke. _

He swore after every time the dreams and images came, it was the fourth time they had plagued him. He didn't know if they meant anything but they did scare him and that he needed distraction so he trained or busied himself with tasks.

This time he went for a bath and tried to scrub himself clean from the horrid dreams. He was fully emerged neck high in the tub when one of his brothers came in to tell him she was waiting to speak to him. He nodded and asked him to tell her he would be along in a few moments. He sighed, she probably wanted to talk about Alistair, and he knew he was not going to enjoy this conversation he thought.

A few moments later he met her in the hallway, shirtless and a towel around his neck. _At least he'd distract her a little_ he chuckled to himself.

"Cullen," she said slightly surprised at how he greeted her.

"Ami is everything alright?"

"Yes," she said her eyes wide at his appearance, "Well. I hope so."

He looked at her expectantly, happy that he had distracted her slightly he laughed inside as her eyes widened further as heat from the bath steamed off his skin and smiled broadly at her.

"Ok fine. I told Alistair about us. I had to really its not like I could hide the fact that I kissed you and cried in your arms right there in front of him."

Cullen just smiled wider, she was as worried as he was about his reaction.

"I have to ask you something, something important."

Cullen nodded, he was listening.

"Ok I don't really know how to say this but I'm just going to say it. If I could get you out of Chantry control would you? To be with me and River?"

Cullen's mind paused. _Did she just ask him that? Did she just ask him if he wanted to leave to be with her and River? She did_. His face betrayed his own questions.

"Cullen. I-If you don't want to I understand … but … I love you." She looked up into his eyes certainty in them and her voice as she spoke the three words to him.

"I _want_ you in my life. I _want_ to share my future with you and River. I know you said you wanted to remain a Templar but … do you think … River and I would be enough?" she could feel herself babbling at him but she couldn't help it she needed to know what he wanted, if he wanted her as much as he said he did.

He just stared at her and saw the girl he had first fallen for. The shy but confident girl who always played with her hair when she was nervous was standing in front of him asking if her and her daughter would be enough for him. She was asking him if he wanted to leave the very thing that kept them apart and her blue-grey eyes were betraying her fear of rejection quite clearly if she meant them to or not. The dormant anger from before rolled over him again at the thought of what she was saying and he dropped his smile. He quickly pushed her up against the wall and pulled her into a deep kiss taking her completely by surprise.

"Don't _ever_; say that you are not enough Ami. You and River are everything to me," he said to her softly through ragged breaths after he slowly broke away.

His forehead was pressed against hers and his body pushed against hers and the wall behind her.

"I take that as a yes?" she smiled wryly.

Cullen snorted a laugh and brushed her lips again.

"Mmm defiantly a yes then," she moaned as she wrapped her hands around his neck.

"What about Alistair?" he said as he lowered her back to the ground. She sighed and nodded looking into his eyes.

"He's willing to help, but it might take some time. He might have to go before the Grand Cleric but he's going to talk to Greagoir first. I wanted to see what _you_ wanted first before he did anything; I didn't want to do anything that you didn't want."

"How could I not want this? I have dreamed of this for so long Ami."

She smiled as he held her face up to his taking her lips in another deep kiss.

"Cullen?" she whispered.

"Yes"

"Alistair said he might be able to help you with the lyrium. You know … if they cut you off."

He shook his head at her and smiled.

"I've never needed it."

"Never?" she replied surprised by him.

"No. I hated the stuff so I've always avoided it."

"_How_?" she was amazed, usually the Chantry had a strict control over it. She watched him shrug and brush her cheek with his thumb as he talked.

"I've only ever taken it in front of my superiors but as soon I was given my own room I secretly stashed them away or poured them away. I always despised the fact we had to take it, it's a method of control instead of loyalty and so I trained harder to avoid it"

"So you won't go through any withdrawals?" she felt freer as the large weight slowly eased off her shoulders.

"No my love. My only thought is how Greagoir is going to take this. I owe him a lot Ami."

Ami nodded, so did she coming to think about it.

"I know what you mean. Without him and the other Templar's here River would have been taken and Maker knows where she could have ended."

Cullen chuckled.

"I have a feeling that Greagoir's reasons were more than what he first said. I think he was trying to avoid you bringing down the very Chantry to get her back if they had."

Ami laughed and nodded.

"Hell hath no fury than a mothers love, so to speak Ser?"

"Yes something like that."

"Alistair wishes to talk to you."

"Oh. I can see that being a bit …"

"Awkward? Yes but he just wants to know that his girls are safe he said. I've already talked to him about … ah … us," she blushed.

"Well of that I can at least reassure him of. I have an idea to put to him to help me anyway, even before you came to find me. I'm glad though that you talked to him first it means he's ready for … us. Lead the way."

He began to usher her down the hallway but she pulled back and looked at him.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she said nodding to his lack of clothing and the wet towel around his neck.

"Ah," he could feel his ears reddening, "… I suppose a change of attire would be appropriate," it was only then he realised he was still only in his leather breeches.

Ami giggled and nodded, "Though _I_ don't mind at all … I think Alistair might," she added quietly.

He breathed a laugh and left her alone in the hallway while he left and changed. She smiled as she waited for him, her body itching for him to hold her in his arms again but she stilled herself.

It wasn't long till he returned wearing some regular clothes and leather boots causing her to stare again at his form and how strong and confident he walked. Her mind carried on a little and she was only brought back to reality when Cullen spoke to her again.

"What?"

"Nothing," she said shaking her head, "just reminding myself that you're not free yet, I have to mind to watch myself."

Cullen laughed and blushed a little. She walked up to him and tugged at his arm and he offered her the crook which she gladly took before walking down the hallway with him.

* * *

Well here's the newest chapter. I've had a tough time writing this which is itself a little annoying i've been struggling with how to end this chapter so if it feels a little vauge well thats why. Hopefully you have enjoyed and please please leave me a message or review i value them all highly and enjoy getting feedback about how the story is going.

Oh and on a side note the correct pronoucniation (sp? lol) of Ami's name is A MAY ... a few people had asked and i forgot to say at the end of the last chapter.

The next chapter is going to include the horrible task of getting Cullen out from Chantry rule ... its going to span over a few chapters tho coz it's not going to be easy for ANY of them.

The next chapter is also going to include a sneak return of a character(s) ... (still not finalised it yet) and also a sneak peak at an old enemy of Ami's.

A shout out to those who have reviewed and credit to those who inspire you know who you are as i've mentioned in previous chapters but a special shout out to Wolfe's Princess, you are a STAR! :D

mousemage


	10. Haunts of the Past and Future

10. Haunts of the Past and Future

"Morrigan."

The words dripped out like poison from Zevran's mouth as he held the black haired witch.

"Ah ... t'would seem I am not as sly as I thought." She remarked her eyes darting to the side to see his blade across her neck better.

"What are you doing here?"

Zevran twisted the blade further into the witch's neck, taking care not to cut her before she could answer.

"Now is that anyway to great an old friend?"

Zev snorted but remained still.

"Ah I see she has become more cautious in these years passed. Good."

"What … do you want?"

"To talk of course. I came to see Ami."

"_You_ do not get to call her that," a female voice called.

Morrigan smiled as her eyes darted over to the red head that had now joined them out of the bushes of the forest.

"Ah Leliana. I thought I smelled Orlesian oils."

"You _are not_ her friend, not after what you did."

"Very well but I still bring news for the mageling," she replied, slightly tipping her head in a nod.

"Tell us then, we will deliver your message," she retorted.

Morrigan glowered at her; _I have not just travelled most of Ferelden to speak to you two _simpletons_**.**_

"It cannot be told to you. I will only speak with her. Kill me if you see fit but when she is dead you will only have yourselves to blame," she replied, anger evident in her voice.

Zevran glanced over to Leliana; her face had not changed as she continued to stare at the witch with her arms folded. He looked back down to the witch and slowly eased away from her.

"We will take you to her, but if you even try …

Morrigan scoffed at him.

"Let me tell you _assassin_. I do not like being here as much as you do. But with things as they are I cannot go anywhere unless I tell her what she needs to hear. I wish her no harm."

"You've already done enough damage witch," Leliana quietly spat but Morrigan heard her.

"Oh? So am I to understand that twas not her who sent you to look for me?"

Leliana looked away from her gaze and Zevran remained silent, his mask unchanging. _Most interesting_ she thought, _so the mageling hadn't sent them so …_

"So ... I have my answer. So it was the Templar-King himself then and I take it from your silence she knew nothing of it. Interesting that he would keep such a thing from her."

"Things have somewhat changed since you were last welcome here." Zevran answered quietly.

"Welcome. Here." She scoffed again, "the tower and you are no more welcoming than a blade to the heart."

Morrigan felt her hair ruffle as an arrow flew past her right ear and she turned to see Leliana, bow drawn with another arrow ready. She was muttering the Chant of Light and it seemed as if she was struggling to decide to kill her right there. She steadied herself, ready to cast if needed.

"My dear Leliana," Zevran whispered, he moved closer and placed an arm on her shoulder, squeezing it gently.

He knew the anger that willed her to shoot another arrow through the head of the harpy he felt it too but they had their orders. He felt her tremble with rage under his hand and she blinked at him then back at Morrigan. She sighed and nodded slowly lowering her bow and returning it to her back along with the arrow.

"My thanks."

"I did not do it for you harpy!" Zevran shouted his usual mask showing cracks, "You will take your message to Amilia and then you will leave. Understand."

The harshness in Zevran's voice startled Morrigan but she remained unmoved and only nodded.

"This way," he beckoned her to follow while Leliana took the rear behind her; they were not going to risk loosing her or her using magic on them. Zevran's thoughts turned over in his head how best to handle her if the meeting went ill. He would inform Cullen before Alistair that the witch had news; he'd rather have a Templar than the angry parent out for blood.

Zevran sighed; he was uncomfortable with dealing with this behind Ami's back. The witch had caused enough problems during their travels during the Blight but her actions at the end had deeply mentally and emotionally scared Ami. He had no doubt that the actions of that night had a profound effect on Ami's decision after the battle, to leave for the tower, even before Alistair's 'talk' with her. He still had not forgiven the King but with the political situation of Ferelden calming and order being slowly resolved he had become a little restless about it. When Alistair had approached him about finding Morrigan he thought at first it was to find the child but he never expected the other reason behind it. Fear.

The child possessed the soul of an old god Alistair had told him, the arch demon itself.

Zevran was stunned that both of them had even agreed to do the ritual, but it was then that Alistair had told him Ami had never intended to tell him about it at all. He had listened in on the conversation and Ami hadn't known. Zevran was even more surprised. The Templar had taken it into his own hands the fate of them both, he would have gladly given his life at the end but the fear of Ami using magic on him to stop that happening frightened him more. Afterwards he had been so caught up in the ceremony and finding out Ami herself was pregnant that he found himself forgetting about Morrigan until the letter arrived from the Grey Wardens. Zevran wondered if that was another reason she had left for the tower, Alistair couldn't lie to her after she plunged a sword through the arch demons head and then lived afterwards. She had felt betrayed by him and that was the reason for her anger.

Almost six years had now passed since they had set eyes on Morrigan and now she had returned. She found them and he had every confidence that if she hadn't wanted to be found she wouldn't have been. Leliana and he had spent the past two years trying to track her down never once coming close to finding her. She was a sly one and very clever at remaining unfound. But now she had appeared and it made him nervous.

As they walked back along the trail leading the edges of Lake Calenhad Zevran couldn't help but feel apprehensive about how things would go once they reached the tower.

~v~

Greagoir is not happy.

Actually he is possibly the most scariest man in all of Thedas when angry and Ami fears him more than the arch demon itself. She fears telling him the truth about her and Cullen and even if he was in a better mood than at the moment she'd rather face the arch demon again than talk to him if she could help it. She has always feared him.

It wasn't time to talk to him yet and she was grateful. When the time did come she wouldn't be alone, she would have Cullen and Alistair and that would give her strength.

"Warden I wish you would control that child! She is interfering with my men's duties!"

She could hear River giggling as she ran away from the two templar's trying to catch her and couldn't help but smile. She was running about the main hall darting past tables and chairs while Ami stood with an exasperated Greagoir. His face was dark as he glowered, arms folded at her expecting her to do something.

"Warden! I will not ask you again! Control her so we can take her blood!"

Ami scowled. She hated that she had to do this but while she and River remained in the Circle they would have to abide by the Chantry rules as much as she despised it.

"River, come. You need to do this."

Sulking the little girl walked over to her mother dragging her feet.

"Here hold out your palm. Greagoir is going to make a little cut and that will be it over."

She knelt and embraced the child supporting her hand out to Greagoir. He took it gently and sliced her small palm with the tip of his dagger. Ami gripped her tighter as she winced under the pain but immediately took the bloody hand afterwards and used a little healing magic to heal the wound closed.

"Why do they need the blood Mommy?"

"So if you go missing we can find you my dear."

"But Mommy can always find me."

Ami sighed and took River's face in her hands.

"Not me my love. The Templar's need it. They use the blood to find mages."

River nodded and understood what her mother was saying. Blood mages, Maleficarum Apostates, she knew they were dangerous she had been lectured by Cullen and her mother often enough. She had even overheard Cullen talk about the mages that had tortured him, though she only heard that he was very ill for a long time after it, before her mother returned to the tower.

She found that she had begun to understand things better now that her powers had surfaced. She noticed the change the Templar's had towards her than everyone else. They stiffened when she walked passed, they feared her now and she knew it was dangerous to play her old games now not without instigating their wrath. They had the power to drain her, she was now a mage. She understood that being a mage meant she no longer had the freedom she once had and she was bound to something dangerous. Her mother had said that she had more responsibility because only she could choose to use her powers for good or ill and no-one had that choice except her.

From her time in the fade, River was already quite well versed in cold and spirit spells. Her mother said it was unlikely she would master all the Primal spells but she would do her best to ensure she was balanced enough with damage, healing and weakening spells so she could best defend and attack.

They were walking back to her studies with Senior Mage Lila hand in hand.

"Mommy?"

"Yes River."

"How did you become the strongest Mage in the tower? Was it through practice?"

Ami laughed and nodded. She had indeed practiced a lot when she was younger, but she turned her head to face River and explained that one could never practice everything that was written or practiced in safety.

"I learned most of my skills in battles with the Darkspawn and that's also where I ended up with most of my scars. I didn't have anyone to teach me the spells that I now take for granted I had to teach myself most of them."

"But you can teach me? Can't you?"

"Of course child! It also means I can keep an eye on your studies so I know you're working," Ami laughed as she gently poked her chest.

"Could you show me one today?" River squeaked, "Pleeeeease."

Ami chuckled and nodded and River jumped up clapping her hands.

"Ok I'll meet you after evening meal and you, Cullen, your father and I will show you some things."

"Thank you Mommy!"

She hugged her and watched her run off into the apprentices training room. Ami noted that she was the youngest there, all the other apprentices were at least four years older and she was still being able to grasp the teaching better than most. She sighed, she would eventually have her crying because someone was bullying her it was inevitable, mixed with her ambition and drive to learn with Alistair's disciplined mind in their daughter Ami knew she would learn quickly. But there was a nagging feeling at the back of her mind, she felt she was preparing her for a great task, one that was not her own choosing and it unsettled her greatly. The spirits of the fade and Duncan had mentioned it, but it was not what she wanted for her daughter, she wanted her to choose her own path in life not be forced onto one.

She stood in the hallway her back against the stone and her arms folded thinking about the future. It seemed lately that was all that occupied her thoughts, the future, hers, River's, Cullen's and the Warden's. She sighed and looked up from the floor to the open doorway of River's class. Even with everything lingering over her head she still felt happy, she had almost everything she could ever want in her entire lifetime right here. River's destiny what ever it was was not Ami's choice, it would be up to River and she would decide. She sighed heavily again and decided all that she could do was the best that she could and make sure she was brought up using magic with responsibility and care, that it was like the Chantry said never to rule over man but to serve man.

She shook her head.

_Never would I have thought that I would be agreeing with it on something, never. _

"Something wrong? How is our little girl settling into her class?"

Ami turned to see Alistair looking between her and the door of the class.

"Don't tell me she's already been sent to the kitchens to scour pots?"

Ami giggled and shook her head.

"No, I was just thinking about how quickly she'll pick things up. She wants me to show her a few things later today."

"Really? Well I'm not surprised, it's not like she's really seen you in action."

"Well I want both you and Cullen to be there. It gives us all a chance to talk to River and well ... spend some time together, all of us."

Alistair cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Is this so that a certain mage can spend some time with a certain Templar now that he's back to regular duty?"

Ami shook her head and a mischievous grin crossed her lips as she looked up to him.

"Oh no." she began lightly, "I just thought you could give Cullen some pointers so he's ready before he's been release from the chantry."

Alistair's face dropped and he went a little white.

Ami giggled again, and after seeing his mouth gap open and him stutter there was no holding back her head in laughter. It was refreshing that she could still make him blush like a loon after all these years about the subject.

"Y-You … are a _cruel_ woman!" he stammered finally.

It made her laugh even more that his red rash was creeping down from his face to his neck and up to his ears.

"Oh Alistair!"

"Bloody woman," he cursed, running his hand through his hair.

"Will you come though," she said trying to be more serious, "I want River to spend as much time with you before you head back to Denerim. You need to go soon, _preferably_ before Eamon begins sending out search parties for you."

"Ah Eamon. Yeah I should really tell him not to worry too much. I'm only in the Circle of Magi with _evil_ mages who seem to torment me with such delicate matters!" He laughed and nodded, "I'll be there."

"Good. It'll be after evening meal."

He smiled and offered his arm.

"A walk then?" he asked.

Ami shook her head.

"I still need to go through my notes and do some organising. I've fallen a bit behind with all that's happened in the past week. Care to help me Ser?"

"Oh. If being _King_ wasn't enough! Now you want me to drill through Warden papers, ugh!" he joked, throwing up his arms and walking away a short distance.

She laughed and followed, taking his offered arm and they walked off to her study.

~v~

Cullen was on regular duty for the first time in really four years. He was back at his usual post in the library near the main doors watching the mages scurry to and from tables, shelves and in and out the other doors. His mind wasn't really on the task set in front of him however. His thoughts were occupied by the buzzing of the words that Alistair had said and the idea's that Cullen himself had offered. It wasn't going to be easy but they were confident that with a little help from Greagoir and a little push from Alistair the Grand Cleric and Revered Mother would take the bait.

He could soon be free if things went the way that he and Alistair hoped they might.

Ami had left them to talk, it was decided that it was best she not be involved as the Chantry would be watching her movements very closely. Cullen remembers how it had taken them a little while to convince her of that, she was adamant to be at the centre but she slowly agreed saying that she could leave for a short time to make it look like she was carrying on as usual while they dealt with Cullen.

"Right," Alistair began after she had left them, "Now that the wench has gone we can finally talk."

Cullen still found him a little intimidating because he was their King but as a man he found Alistair to be a little … odd. Ami had warned him about the cheese obsession as River had developed her father's fancy for the produce, causing a great deal of amusing problems in sourcing the stuff. Ami had finally had enough of the cheese hunts and told Alistair he could provide the cheese instead of her, since he had the resources. He had just laughed and agreed, gleefully picking up River, who was four at the time and making fun of Ami and her lack of cheese love.

Alistair sat down on a chair and held out a hand to the one next to him for Cullen. He slightly bowed his head and lowered himself into the chair, his armour creaking as he moved.

"You have to know I've never done this before. I mean getting someone out of the chantry, phew this is not going to be easy … for either of us."

"I-I know ser."

"Alistair, please Cullen. From what I understand from Ami you'll soon be family, if this works of course."

"I-I … yes …ser … I mean Alistair." Cullen smiled.

A long silence developed quickly between the two.

"Well this isn't awkward is it?"

Cullen let out a low chuckle and nodded.

"Well I suppose we'd better get down to business shall we?"

Cullen nodded, he was scared to say anything about Ami and his relationship.

"Right. So. Where to begin?"

"Well as you know ser there is no real way for a Templar to be excused from his duties from the Chantry. We are seen as the military hand of the Chantry, the saviours from foul magic by others. I know only of one person that has been freed from the Templar's and that is you."

Alistair shuffled forward in his chair and placed his elbows on his knees hunching over.

"I never became a full templar Cullen. I never took the vows. You have and that is the first problem."

"The breaking of the vows is dependant on the action. The most severe punishment is to be stationed at Aeonar."

Cullen noticed Alistair shiver at the thought.

"That place I would not wish on the darkest of souls."

Cullen nodded and looked at him, he had an idea but he wasn't sure if Alistair would like it and he was certain that Ami would hate it but it was the easiest option.

"Alistair, the only thing I can suggest is that you contact the leader of the Orlesian Wardens."

Alistair looked puzzled for a few moments and then his face fell as he looked to him.

"You'd go mad first."

Cullen shook his head, he knew he meant the lyrium.

"I don't take lyrium. I've never taken it and from what Ami has told me neither have you and you have retained your Templar abilities."

Alistair smiled slyly and nodded.

"You are cleverer and stronger than you look Cullen but the ritual is not something to take lightly." Alistair's face grew a little grey at the thought of the possible outcome.

"I know it can kill but hear me for a moment. If you approach the Revered Mother, tell her that Orlais has sent their leader of the Grey as Ami is away on business and he wishes to recruit me. You could council her saying that the Chantry would then have someone who has power to take down the mage who commands the Ferelden Wardens if she becomes an abomination. Best interests for everyone. The Chantry gets to think it has control over Ami and I gain my freedom."

Alistair laughed loudly smacking Cullen on the back.

"You are clever! I can see why she likes you, lying to the Chantry like that. Good. I will tell her she has to leave and head off to either Soldiers Peak or the Vigil in Amaranthine that way she is far away and I can hire someone to play act. Oh this is going to be a very good game."

Alistair rubbed his hands together and then shook Cullen's hand.

"I have to say this is going to be difficult keeping all this from her. I know she won't like the idea but it means you can remain here with River while I set up the act."

Cullen nodded.

"I-I'm glad she is finally within reach of something she wants. The Maker does bless that woman." Alistair said quietly, placing a hand on Cullen's shoulder.

"Who wouldn't bless her Alistair? I know if things had been different she would never have returned here and you both would be raising River together."

Alistair laughed and dropped his hand he moved to a nearby table and began pouring out a glass of wine.

"If things had been different Ami might not even be alive and I'd still be where I am now." He said with his back to Cullen

Cullen saw him grip the glass tighter and his shoulders tense tightly as he spoke.

"Does she speak much about the Blight?"

"No." Cullen replied, a little puzzled at what he was really talking about, "I think it pains her too much to think about it. When ever River asks she always brushes her off with a camp story or Oghren and Zevran talk about it."

Alistair nodded and set his now empty glass down.

"I think the plan is set then. Thank you Cullen, I'm glad at least now she can finally have what she wants."

"Thank _you_ Alistair, without you she might not even be here."

_You have no idea_, Alistair thought, his eyes were set to the floor but he heard Cullen mentioning to take his leave and he nodded to Cullen.

"Cullen."

"Aye Alistair?"

He pursed his lips, sighed and smiled, looking at the lucky fool.

"Don't let her lead. When … you know. Don't, take charge and be confident."

Cullen only nodded and closed the door slowly.

"Maker, you better not screw this up Alistair," he said to himself quietly.

* * *

Here is the newest chapter ... it's a little shorted than the others and i'm sorry if its taken longer for me to update you guys i've been a little busy with the new expansion of DA:O .... tho i think everyone is atm hahaha!

Hopefully you have enjoyed it. Please post a review or message me, i love hearing from you all with suggestions or ideas about characters and plot ideas.

The next chapter is going to focus on Ami's teaching River, but there shall be a few guests and on lookers. So lots of action and fighting between a few characters in the next update. ....... so looking forward to writing it!

Mousemage


	11. My Sister or My Enemy?

11. My Sister or My Enemy?

"Just like that?" muttered Cullen.

"Just like that," answered Ami, a wide smile across her face.

"Huh," he replied as he took a typical Templar stance.

Ami turned to River as she sat watching with Alistair. They were outside in the training grounds of the tower and even though the day was late Ami had kept her promise and arranged the duel for River. She smiled at River who was sitting in Alistair's arms excitement clearly making her giddy. The outside grounds around them were designed for the older apprentices and senior mages to help train the Templar's and practice their area of effect spells in relative safety. It gave the mages some more freedom from the confines of the tower but even when duelling a Templar it was never as simple.

Ami barely remembered her first duel, the Templar she had been assigned knocked her of her feet in two swift moves and she lay unconscious for two hours afterwards. She kept returning however, until she was able to master resistance to his use of mana cleansing, after that it was a matter of pacing and using the limited amount she had left. She grew strong quickly after that and since she outgrew her opponent who wasn't actually that strong in cleansing and draining she found, she demanded Greagoir to assign her a stronger opponent. He refused of course, saying that he would not stand by and watch her become an unstoppable force against the strongest Templar's within the tower. He would not let her become too powerful so that if the time came they could still slay her if needed. She had scoffed at him then, saying he was a fool that she wanted nothing more than to help the Templar's progress like she did, becoming better, stronger and yes more powerful but surely there were worse things, she did have control but she was not some foolish girl who would wield it to her every whim.

She sighed; she had been so young then.

She looked at Cullen and smiled.

"This is how I learned to hone my skills River, in duels and battles with Darkspawn, your father and others."

"You battled Daddy?"

Ami nodded as Alistair scoffed.

"She tried to blow me up on countless occasions. She is very scary your mother when she's angry."

Ami stuck her tongue out at him and River giggled as her mother re-took her position facing Cullen. They hadn't started the lesson yet but all of them could feel the veil. A small number of on-lookers Templar's, mages and servants alike had begun trickling into the training grounds outside the tower. Ami was dressed in her other chasined robes, these were like the garments she had worn in the fade but they were red with a yellow trim and had little corseted bits down each side, revealing a little more flesh than her others. Her long boots came up and covered the bulk of the thigh but they shaped to show off her long legs and Alistair couldn't help but stare. He had forgotten how distracting she looked when she put them on.

It was a technique he knew she was going to use on Cullen, though at the moment he was still waiting for her to try and cast her first spell. Cullen was stood in a typical defence stance with a wooden shield on his back and a wooden sword in his hand, there would be no blood drawn in this duel but it depended how carried away they both got, thought Alistair. He hadn't seen Cullen fight before and he wasn't sure if his anti-magic techniques would be able to dispel the sheer strength of Ami's magic or not. Even when Ami had been weak on mana she had been able to draw power from the fade and Alistair had no idea how but she had managed to pull them out of some tight spots during their time together. If it ever came to the task of having to put her down she would be the most ferocious foe they would meet she would not submit easily lucid or not if she ever became a thrall of a demon.

Her robes were part of that reason for some of her endurance, they were made of fine material, spells woven into the fabric and cut specifically for mana regeneration, fade activity and the ease of movement. Alistair still didn't understand how she could out last him even when she battled in light armour, but he knew she hated the confines of it, she always told him she felt closer to the fade and in touch with her power the less she wore. Now she was wearing her 'battle robes' her hair tied back in two long ponytail's with her rogue curl pinned at the side. At her side she had her small satchel bag filled with potions, balms, bandages and some distraction vials, she was prepared and they was going to enjoy the outcome of this duel.

Ami crouched down to the ground.

"This is the first step River. To ground yourself." Alistair said to her, holding her in his arms as they watched the two prepare.

"Can you feel the power building?"

She nodded, "It's like all the air is being drawn into Mommy but from Cullen it seems to be pushed away."

"Yes. Exactly."

Ami controlled the flow of her power through her, drawing it to her mind and channelling it through her limbs. She cracked her neck from side to side and moved towards Cullen.

"Here we go." Alistair breathed.

With a quick reflexive movement she cast but Cullen quickly parried her attack with a forward sweep of his sword, barely moving from his stance. River had seen her mother cast a lightening spell but it was dispelled easily and quickly by a slight movement of Cullen's free hand in time with his sword hand.

Her eyes were wide at the ease that Cullen had dispelled her mothers attack, was it really that easy she was so surprised, then Cullen snorted.

"You call that casting! Show me the real magic or River won't know how dangerous you can be." He laughed at her, shaking his head.

Her mother just smirked as she turned to River.

"I didn't want to start too hard on …"

She was quickly knocked back by an invisible force as Cullen had changed his stance to a crouched position, the palms of his hands on the ground. River could feel the repulsion of magic in the immediate area and felt a little dampening on her draw from the fade.

She heard her mother curse at him but both Cullen and Alistair laughed loudly as she tried to scramble to her feet.

"Oh you're going to get it!" she laughed.

She slowly regained her balance and saw the Templar in front of her bow low to his waist mocking her, daring her to attack him. She smirked and rubbed her hands together.

"You wish to battle me ser Templar? Very well I shall oblige."

She flicked her hand out and summoned her short staff, River sat in awe as the Elder Tree's branch seemed to come out of nothing into her open hand. Ami had long developed to cast without a staff but the branch wasn't just a weapon it was a defence tool. She remembered when Ami had parried an attack from Desire; she was going to use this technique against Cullen. She spun the staff in one hand, testing the weight and balance before looking back at Cullen.

"That's more like it," Cullen replied seeing the staff in her hands, "Don't try and fight me without an actual weapon _mage_, you can't always rely on your talents."

_It's a statement much towards me as it is to River_, Ami thought _he hates battling me without something to hit. _

She snorted and again twisted her neck round to give a cheeky smile at River and Alistair. This was going to be fun.

"The key in battle River is that your spells are only as effective as your ability to defend yourself without them. Lesson one; try to fight as well without magic as well as with it."

She pointed her staff upwards and faded partially into the fade. She turned ghostly white and then was transparent like a ghost, River's eyes widened as she watched her darting over towards Cullen.

"Now that's just cheating!" barked Cullen raising his sword.

A ghostly giggle came out of the spirit form of Ami as she stood a few paces from him; electricity began emanating from her finger tips again. He parried the attack, but was forced to step back a few paces from the strength of the power behind the attack. River saw her mother use the moment of weakness to appear behind Cullen and catch him in a cold spell. He quickly tried to move out of the way but his right foot stood frozen to the ground. He felt her wisp passed and he quickly unclasped his shield and used it to knock her off balance as she tried attack him again.

She groaned as she fell onto her back. She quickly rolled to one side as Cullen tried to hack at her with his sword and slowly stood, hands ready to cast again as he turned to her. She flicked him a smile as she cast a paralyse spell at him, freezing him there. He growled at her, knowing what was coming next and redoubled his efforts to dispel it.

"You need to be quick and flexible, you have to have sufficient stamina and pace yourself during a battle to the death," she panted slightly.

She raised her staff again to cast but Cullen was faster he broke the spell and darted towards her, knocking her over again with his shield. Ami shoot her staff out to the side and knocked him off his feet almost immediately after hitting the ground, then rolled over again trying to regain her balance and build up her reserve to attack again. Cullen was making it difficult, he threw away his shield and used his free hand to dispel and cleanse the area around them, while with his sword he attacked. Ami used all her skills to block with her staff, spinning around using the staff with great effect but the blows were heavy and her other hand was struggling to mass enough electricity to cast on him. She needed an opening and he knew that, he was trying to keep her hands busy as he countered each spell and attacked with his sword but he couldn't keep it up forever. Ami was quick and agile; she could kick and use the staff to easily inflict damage as well as use her magic against him in close combat so he needed to close in before she had knocked him back far enough to cast something stronger.

_They were dancing,_ thought River as she watched them.

They were dancing a dance of casting and dispelling and it was beautiful. Her mother spun her staff above her, behind her, at her sides, she used it to help her balance then turning on her feet and as she cast spells. Cullen, he countered and used his sword much like her staff to parry against her. She saw him parry another attack from Ami's staff but then spun and caught her leg with the sword tripping her and found himself on her, his sword at her neck asking her to yield. River felt a rush of excitement as she saw them smile at each other thinking it was over. It was only then she saw her mother's free hand resting above his armour, a large ball of electricity almost touching his plate armour and she grinned her mother hadn't quite lost the battle after all.

"Do you yield?" he said softly.

Ami snorted and shook her head.

"You should know by now my Templar that I never surrender. Not without causing great damage." She indicated his predicament with a tilt of her head.

He glanced at her hand; it cupped a bright blue ball of electricity.

"Ah … you and your sparks." He said shaking his head at her, "You never play fair."

She laughed a little.

"Fair? And what _mage_ would I be if I played _fair_? A draw then ser?"

"Fine. I'll let you go this time _mage_."

He slowly raised himself off her and offered her his hand. She gladly took it and smiled warmly at him but it was quickly followed by a look of horror.

"What is it?" he quickly asked, concern on his face as he looked in her anxious eyes.

"By the Maker," she croaked as a hand rose to her mouth. She quickly turned away and cast a fade shroud around her, masking her entire facial expressions.

"Ami?" he said gently trying to reach for her but she moved away quickly towards Alistair.

He glanced up him and saw the same expression, his eyes darting from Ami, to River to someone behind him. Cullen turns to see three people, the elf Zevran, the Bard Leliana and another woman. The small crowd that had been around had quickly dispersed as soon as the duel had ended there was only this small group left. Cullen felt the power of the woman coming off in waves and instantly knew who she was.

Morrigan.

~v~

His face turned dark and he looked back for Ami but she isn't anywhere to be seen. She's cloaked in herself in her shroud. Alistair is holding River tightly whispering into her ear; Cullen can hear him faintly say to her to go to her room quickly and not to dawdle. There is anger in his voice and Cullen can hear him struggle to keep it in a checked tone as he speaks to her. Out of the corner of his eye he see's Leliana come forward and quickly takes her away by the hand, saying something about ribbons and hair and then he focus's his entire attention on the witch in front of them. He _feels _rather and see's Alistair stand and walk up to his side, Cullen can feel the tension, the anger and the fury at Morrigan emanating off of him. He doesn't have to explain anything to Cullen, he knew how Ami survived the Arch demon, and it was by her hand.

"I came to talk to Ami." She begins.

There is silence between the four of them but Cullen is aware that Ami is still around. In her fade shroud she had the ability to appear and re-appear much like a rogue in stealth, it was the effect of being an Arcane Warrior but he wasn't sure how she was reacting to seeing Morrigan.

"I only came to talk. I do not wish her harm."

"Harm!?" Alistair growled.

"_You_ do not get to be angry at me Templar-King! You were the one who made the decision. If there is anyone to be angry at it is you!"

"Oh and what wouldn't someone do to save the one he loved. I'll tell you! Anything!"

"And you made the right choice. Both of you live and live well I see; with a child born to you both in a country at peace no less."

"Yes but it's not all black and white. Why are you here?" he hissed the last few words at her.

"As I said to the spying fools I am here to talk to Amilia and only her."

"And you really think she'll talk to you?"

"She talks to you, does she not? Though I do not understand why, you are the most foolish and irritating man I have ever met. And do not stare at me like that foul Templar I shall not have your eyes linger over long!" She narrowed her eyes at Cullen and scowled.

Cullen snorted and glared at her even more and folded his arms, straightening his posture in defiance.

"Enough. All of you! Alistair, Cullen, Zev … just go."

Ami's voice sounded like a whisper as the wind carried it around the others. She was close by Cullen could sense her.

"Ami," Alistair began trying to see where her voice as coming from.

"I said go!" she said, this time with more force.

Zevran was the first to leave, nodding and saying he would be close by if she had need. Alistair muttered a few curse words under his breath and stormed out of the training ground his eyes never leaving the witch's as he walked away, Cullen was left standing in front of the witch his gaze refusing to move from hers.

He felt Ami brush past and appeared in front of him breaking his gaze from Morrigan. Her blue-grey eyes replaced the yellow reptilian eyes staring back at him, he could see the pain in them, an old wound being torn open and the feelings remembered.

"Please my love. I will be fine. Stay nearby? I will be back soon. Please?" she begged.

He could tell she had been crying, the lines of tears had stained her face slightly and he felt his gloved fingers reach up and brush them gently away while his palms cupped her face.

"As you wish my lady, be careful though. She has an aura around her that I find disturbing."

Ami nodded, closing her eyes as his hands gently brushed her cheeks then settle on her shoulders before gently letting her go and leaving them.

Her back was to Morrigan and she couldn't help but feel she had given her a window into something private. She steeled herself calling on senses to steady herself and then felt for the pull of the veil around her if she needed it.

"You have grown strong these years past Sister. I am impressed."

"Is that your only reason to be here to check on me … _Sister_? Or is there another reason?" the venom in her voice was tangible but she still refused to turn and face her.

"Ever quick to get to the point. It is one of the qualities that I have always liked about you. Never one to dance around the edges always straight as an arrow."

"_Get to the point_ Morrigan," She said through gritted teeth, "It is … _uncharacteristic_ of you to 'dance' around the issue."

"Very well Sister I came to tell you that your life is in danger."

"My life? Why? And how did you come by this information?" Ami turned her head around slowly looking back over her shoulder at Morrigan.

Six years had changed her slightly; Morrigan seemed more wary of her and more uneasy about something. She looked the same but Ami noticed behind her masked expression that it seemed the Morrigan she thought she knew had died a little.

_More than likely when she went behind my back_, she thought.

"Yes you are in danger. I was held by a group of underground Chantry zealots for a short time. Before I escaped, they …," Ami saw her falter and turn her gaze away as a single tear dripped down her face.

Her heart stopped and her eyes widened, showing weakness was _not_ Morrigan's way. Something had happened and Ami could feel it as she watched her regain her composure, something tugged at her heart but part of her tried to ignore it. Morrigan would never have let _anyone_ see her in a vulnerable state not even when they had been close, she always held people back at a distance.

"They … tortured me. They broke my fingers and tried to make me confess to things I knew nothing about. They … they spoke about you and y-your daughter. They said they were going to try and capture you, to make an example of you."

"Make an example of me? What do you mean?"

"They are an organisation out with the Chantry. They are the extremists Ami, they will do anything to achieve their goals. They wish to kill us all!"

"What the mages?"

"No. Those who ended the Blight. They despise the idea of Alistair ruling, they despise you more, a mage of all things saving them all it cannot be the will of their foolish Maker. They have plans for the dwarves and the Dalish and they have my daughter Ami. Their going to use her … I don't know how or why but they will try to take and use your daughter too."

Hearing Morrigan talk about her child; sparked a long dormant fury within Ami. She glowered at Morrigan and clenched her hands at her sides.

"Why should I trust you … of all people, why should I trust what you say?!"

Morrigan dropped her head and nodded.

"I should never have told you about the ritual, I should have just talked with that _fool _and had it done with."

Ami scoffed and folded her arm.

"Like it would have made a difference Morrigan. I still would have found out; Alistair can't lie to save his own skin let alone mine. You and him _betrayed _me Sister. At least he had the gall to stay behind and take it."

"I did what I had to do, to save you despise me if you will, but I wanted to warn you of this, I owed you that much." Her voice dropped low, pleading with her to listen. Ami was surprised to hear concern in her voice as she spoke. "They are dangerous Ami; they will take _everything_ away from you even bringing you back from the verge of death so they can torture you more."

"What is her name?" Ami said abruptly.

"What?"

"Her name Morrigan, your daughter."

"Her name is Asha," she replied quietly.

"You called her hope?" Ami questioned, confused by the choice of name.

Morrigan nodded, "Hope that I would one day find forgiveness."

Ami shook her head. What she had told her disturbed her but she couldn't rely on just her word alone. She felt a finger brush her arm and she tilted her head.

"Zevran?"

The elf appeared by her side and bowed his head.

"My dear," he greeted.

"Is this what you and Leli have been looking into?"

"No but I would not be surprised if it was connected. There have been many … disappearances lately among Elves, Dwarves and men."

"Very well. Inform Alistair what we've talked about; I know you have been listening friend." She gently placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it.

"Well it was not as if I'd give the harpy a chance to kill you my dear but very well." He brushed his hand against her cheek then vanished again and Ami turned back to Morrigan.

Morrigan scoffed and folded her arms, her guarded mask returning over her features.

"I see that your friend is still trying to bed you? Or does the other Templar have your heart now?" she smiled, "I am not the only one that corrupts so it would seem."

"_Shut up Morrigan_. I still don't trust you so don't even try and think that I will divulge anything about my life now to you."

Ami walked up to her until she was shoulder to shoulder with her.

"You are not my Sister." She said quietly and then continued walking past to the door of the tower.

"But I consider you mine. Even with what I am about to do to you." Morrigan said quietly to herself another tear falling down her cheek. She slid her hand along her cheek and wiped it away.

"Ugh. Weakness!"

~v~

She sobbed as she sat against the door of her room. Her battle robes were soaked after she had thrown the full wash basin over her, trying to feel anything else except the pain in her chest. She was now sitting on the floor, her knees up to her chest, her arms curled around them while she buried her face.

_I am weak_, she thought, _pathetic and weak and stupid_.

She couldn't believe she would dare show her face again. The pain and guilt came back after the anger ebbed away slowly.

_Ami you _are_ pathetic and weak, you can't even stay angry at her, she saved you and Alistair, she saved River and you spat venom in her face_, she thought to herself.

"Then why does it still hurt?" she said beating her hand against her chest.

"Why does the pain of what they did not stop? Why does it still hurt even after its ended?"

"It will always hurt," she hears.

It was a voice on the other side of the door.

She turns her head and presses her ear to the door, the voice is soft but because of her crying her ears are muffled and she's not sure who it is she hears.

"She was your friend and he was your lover and they both didn't want to lose you. It was a choice you couldn't make that they made, for you, to save you."

"I _should_ have died!" she crackles out.

"But you didn't, you lived and found you had another purpose. You have River and you … you have me."

A sad smile creeps across her face as her mind focused on Cullen's voice.

"I don't want it to hurt anymore Cullen."

"I don't want it to hurt you either and if I could take it away I would but it is part of you now. Use it and become stronger it can't control you anymore."

Ami stood and leaned against the door. There was something about him just being there on the other side that sparked a little fear in her.

_Was he really there? Or was it just her mind playing tricks on her? _

She still didn't full trust her heart again yet.

Her hands reached for the handle and she slowly opened the door a crack to see the light from the hallway torches illuminated his face. Cullen was standing there right next to her door, leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. He hadn't noticed that she had opened the door and he continued talking.

"You may feel that Alistair betrayed you; and Maker… I can understand how that hurt you. But Ami he did it because he loved you and … she … loved you."

He sighed and closed his eyes.

"I … love you … so much and I'm here for you, just … let me know when your ready."

He slowly pushed himself off the wall and as he turned to walk away she moved and wrapped her arms around his waist. He stood still letting her sob into his back as her arms tightened around him, he felt her tremble and then slowly relax as the tears subsided and then slowly turned to face her. He took her face in his hands and pulled her into his chest, wrapping an arm around her back and the other around her waist.

"I know. I know you're here and I can't help but think the Maker has my life in his hands and is guiding me or the people around me. Maker it was an awful thing but the pain hurts less than it did back then."

"Thankfully, I'd fear for your liver if it was still so painful after your two week bender," Cullen chuckled.

Ami laughed and nodded enjoying the quiet around them.

"Where is everyone?" she asked suddenly, "The tower is unusually quiet."

"Greagoir is having a meeting with Wynne and Alistair, no guess to who they are talking about. The majority of the Templar's are following Morrigan about the tower, Greagoir has them on high alert but she seems to be keeping a low profile. Zev and Leli are with River."

"I suppose I should go and talk to them about what Morrigan said."

"Only if you want to my lady."

She looked up to him and brushed her lips gently against his, savouring his sent and taste. A gentle groan escaped out of her throat and her eyes fluttered as she pressed closer against him making him step back against the wall as the kiss deepened. He broke the kiss by putting his hands on her shoulders and pushing her back slightly.

"Later my love."

Ami pouted and ran her fingers along his arm.

"Ami," he said gently, his eyes fixed on her fingers.

She entwined her fingers into his and gently pulled him into her room, releasing one hand to close and bolt the door behind them.

"What are you doing Ami…?" he said again a little more forceful confused by her actions.

She made a shh motion and stood in front of him, her eyes dark as she gazed up at him. He looks at her confused and wondering what is wrong until she moves suddenly and he feels her lips again on his, this time with all the desperation and passion that she had been building over the past few days.

Cullen feels himself becoming lost as his hands seek out her body feeling her every curve; it sets his heart racing and his mind fogs. He pulls her in closer to deepen the kiss hearing her moan with desire and her hands respond running through his hair. She rubs her body up against him and groans in his ear cursing his armour as her hands brush against the fastenings. Cullen grabs her hands and pulls away from the kiss, catching his breath and leaning his forehead against hers.

He pants heavily and she breathes both of them trying to catch their breath again before they lost themselves.

"I'm sorry love, I-I just … I just desperately want to be with you." Ami whispers.

"I know my lady. It takes all of my discipline to not take you now."

Ami sighed and pulled away turning to her vanity and sitting in the chair. Her head slumped forward and she rested her head in her hands while her elbows rested on the vanity.

"What's wrong?" he said following her and placing his hands on her shoulders, beginning to knead the tension from her shoulders.

A muffled cry escapes from her mouth and she grips his hand with hers.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be teasing you. It's such a cruel thing to do."

"You are not teasing me and I don't think I help you much either, please don't feel like that." He bent and stroked her cheek, trying to reassure her.

She shook her head.

"I sit here wallowing wishing my life would just settle. That I don't have to save someone or get something, or kill something or someone or stop an evil force from destroying the things I love. Why can't things just stay as they are for more than mere moments? Why can't the world just stop and we be '_normal_' people, for one day?"

She broke into another sob as she spoke.

"I-I know I'm being selfish Cullen but really? Can I just have one moment that doesn't involve me having to be the leader or the person that chooses who lives and who dies? Maker, can I not be the one who needs saving instead for once?"

She looked to the ceiling as if praying to the Maker himself and leaned her head against his arm.

After a few moments his grip on her shoulders tightened and he urged her to get up. She stood but she felt no strength in her limbs, not even enough to hold her head up to him, she was just so _tired_ of being the one to sort out everyone else's mess. He pulled her in front of him, his shoulders still gripping tightly to her shoulders as he forced her to look at him. His expression confused her, it was a mix of different emotions but his eyes showed anger or was it determination?

"_You _are not selfish. _You_ are the most selfless person I know. The things people have … done … to you to people you love, I would strike them down if I could but I know it would only hurt you more so I stand guard and protect you because _I love you I want to take care of you_. I never thought I'd say this but I'm glad you made me talk to Alistair, I'm glad they did what they did, I'm glad you forgave him enough so he's here helping us and I'm glad he told me and will let me do this."

Now she was more confused.

"Do what Cullen?"

"This," and he kissed her again but it was unlike any of the other kisses they had shared. It was slow and deliberate and full of want and need, the need for her in his life.

Everything seemed to stop for Ami. The only thought was his lips on hers, drawing out all the hurt, the pain only leaving life, hope and love behind. She melted in that single kiss; the love he had for her radiating through his touch showing her that the pain she felt was a small distant event that had brought her here, to him.

His tongue sought out hers and he gently pulled at her robes. His passion ignited Cullen had to force himself to slow down, other wise he would just rip the clothes from her. Ami's hands hadn't moved from his neck but once she had noticed his palm gently moving up the outside of her thigh her head jerked back and her eyes opened.

"Cullen?" and she looked at him unsure.

It was him that made the shh motion this time and began placing small kisses down her neck, slowly replacing her uncertainty with each kiss. She felt her body shudder as his hands began to push her robes up slowly and Ami moaned and melted as every touch set her ablaze and her buried desire reawakened. She arched her back as his hands travelled to her sides loosening the laces of her robes and her hands worked on the buckles of his armour. She heard him whisper her name and it made her shudder again as she gentle pealed off his leg armour. As she knelt in front of him she allowed her hands to travel up the inside of his thigh, over his small clothes and grasping his tunic pulled it above his head.

Her robes were open and she shrugged herself out of them only her long boots were left and she stood almost naked and very exposed in front of him. She blushed as his eyes devoured her and he moved towards her in a flash of movement, lifting her above him and placing her gently on her bed.

Ami felt the world around her fade in the bliss she now felt. He had saved her, her Cullen had saved her from herself and she knew now she would forever remain his. She thanked the Maker for sending her this man, this man who loved her for who she was and not what she was, a man who was willing to look past the robes and see the woman underneath, a man who loved her child like she was his own. He was the man who rescued her, held her, comforted her, told her she was wrong when she was completely wrong _he_ was her other reason for living.

In the moments before sleep took her she found herself sighing and looking into his eyes. They were warm and they were filled with love and she felt the prick of tears in her eyes. She remembered the night River was born that it was that night that her heart had began to open again, that it was when he looked and held her soul with those eyes she knew she gladly would give him it and her heart, fully and unwavering. It was the most frightening decision she had made since the Blight letting herself go, letting her heart take over, letting it trust again. But this man wasn't just anyone, it was Cullen, _her_ Cullen, her confidant, friend and love and she would see the arch demon rise again before allowing anything to hurting him.

* * *

Well i hope you have enjoyed this new update!

Finally got these two together .... and it took ages! I'm not one for writing extensive sexy scenes ... personally it makes me cringe writing it but not reading it funnily enough.

So ... Morrigan returns and her daughter has been taken, oh dear another adventure.

The next chapter isn't going to have Ami in it. It's going to be a Cullen chapter as he fights to gain his freedom from the evil Chantry, it'll include some Cullen flashbacks of the past few years with Ami and River and his growing realisation of his love. Also his evil dreams are going to come back to haunt him a little.

Please leave me a review or message me I appreciate all the comments. Also a Shout out to the girls from the Alistair Fan Page on Facebook! C'mon girls sign the petition! We want Alistair in DAO2! Awakenings was just dissapointing!

mousemage


	12. Deliverance

12. Deliverance 

_Deliver me, out of the sadness_

_Deliver me, out of the madness_

_Deliver me, courage to guide me_

_Deliver me, your strength inside me_

_All of my life I've been in hiding_

_Wishing there was someone just like you_

_Now that you're here, now that you've found me_

_I know that you're the one to pull me through_

_Deliver me, loving and caring_

_Deliver me, giving and sharing_

_Deliver me, this cross that I'm bearing_

_All of my life I've been in hiding_

_Wishing there was someone just like you_

_Now that you're here, now that you've found me_

_I know that you're the one to pull me through_

_Deliver me, David Crowder Band_

Before Ami's Return to the Circle of Magi.

_She can't be here again, why does she even want to be here? It's not like there is much left for her here? Maybe this is a test for me? The maker has sent her to punish me for my past failings. _

Cullen walked the hallways, looking like a lyrium lunatic as he twitched and shook at the thoughts that ran through his head. She had been in the tower two days and he had managed to avoid her completely since the first night but he was unsure what was worse, seeing her again or not seeing her at all. He was so confused and with his confusion anger mounted.

_Why why why why why? _

_She is a demon, _he growled_, she must be. No being could be that cruel as to come back and torture a loyal servant of the Maker. i will not be fooled again! _

He stopped at his usual post and settled into a comfortable stance. He breathed in deeply and let out a calming controlled breath trying to relax his unease. He was a Templar and he was to watch the mages, even though there were none in the library at that moment he stood and would watch. The sun had risen early and he would stand and take the morning shift of the library until he was relieved by one of his brothers at the appointed time.

His ears pricked at the sound of someone shuffling down the hallway and then he saw her. Every muscle in his body tensed at the sight of her as she slowly moved down the corridor towards him. He could see she was still quite sleepy as she made her way to the dining hall but there was a sense that every step she took was a huge effort for her to take. He scowled as she drew closer to him, she had indeed changed and the robes; _if they could even be called robes_, he thought, she had half-hastily put on. One of the shoulder straps had slipped to her shoulder, revealing a long dark line down her right shoulder. It was a deep dark scar that was slowly beginning to heal. Cullen's blood ran cold, it was almost as wide as a small dagger and it was a deep dark red, Cullen could see the bruising around its ragged edges from where the intense healing had entered her.

_It was the arch demon that gave her that scar,_ he though.

As she drew closer all he could do was stare at it intently, he didn't even hear her say hello to him as she got closer. She slowed as she neared him, wondering what he was so intent on looking at.

"Cullen? Are you alright?"

He ignored her, as he clearly saw the grave wound that marred her shoulder. It began right on the muscle of her shoulder and carried down underneath her robes but it was the depth of such a wound that made him wondered how she had even survived the healing needed.

"Is there something on me? Cull … oh," she now realised what he was staring at, her robes had revealed her scar and she slowly slipped the strap back into place along her shoulder.

She watched him as she moved it back but his eyes didn't stray from the where the damage lay. His eyes blinked as he realised the rest of her was there and she was staring at him, he grunted and re-fixed his eyes on the opposite wall.

"Morning Cullen," she said quietly and giving a slight nod with her head carried onto the dining hall.

Cullen's eyes fell as she walked slowly away from him. He looked at her walking away and she seemed to sway almost. He felt ashamed of his thoughts earlier; she had not come out of the Blight whole and untouched.

_She is broken too_, he thought.

He watched her as she walked slowly away and could see that she was deflated and tired. She had done so much, she had done it mostly on her own shoulders and had been crushed by it and now all she wanted was to come home and just be what she was before, before the Blight and before the pain. All he had done was ignore her attempts at reaching out and treat her compassion, the thing he had scorned at was what she had still clung on to regardless of what she had done and been through.

"I will try and be better," he said to himself, "If she can, I can and maybe that is why she is here, to help the Maker heal the wounds."

~v~

"Seriously Cullen you've never had a birthday present?"

Cullen sighed as he looked up at Ami, the bewilderment and confusion in her face almost making him laugh. She looked so sweet and her reaction was, well to Cullen funny.

"In the Chantry we don't celebrate birthdays, you should know this Ami you grew up in the Tower. The mages don't celebrate birthdays either."

"Well you're not very observant are you!" she laughed, "I remember most of my birthdays actually as they usually involved hurling lightening at Jowan for some stupid gift he had put in my satchel!"

"Hey! I shall have you know that the majority of the gifts I brought to you were useful!" the mage interjected.

"A toad Jowan! How was that ever useful?"

The small group erupted into laughter.

"You put a toad in her satchel? Why?" Leliana asked.

"It was the only thing I could get at the time, it's not like I could have walked up to a merchant and bought her something better!" he said gesturing with his hands, "Besides, I was nine when I did that."

Cullen chuckled and shook his head, he had forgotten about that day, he had newly came to the tower and had the privilege of dealing with that situation, how could he have forgotten that.

"No I suppose not." Leliana laughed.

"Well, dear Cullen." She turned to Leliana, "Leliana you were trying very hard to change the subject! Don't think I hadn't noticed. So tell us ser Templar when is it and how old will you be?" asked Ami.

Cullen sighed; he was not going to get out of this. He looked over to Ami; she was smiling triumphantly at him as he shook his head.

"Fine. I was born in the spring, near Andraste's own birth, but which exact date I have no idea. I _think_, because we don't obviously count that well when we're in the Chantry, I will be thirty."

"_Really?_ I didn't think you were that much older than I." He watched as her face dropped slightly then smiled at him.

"Why how old are you dear lady? Since I have told you mine, you must tell me yours." Cullen said grinning at her, he knew she was in her early twenties but she had asked him and now it was his turn.

She shuffled in her cloak and glared at him with mock daggers as she smiled.

"Why ser surly you know that it is rude to ask a lady such a question."

A loud snort came from her left.

"Well that leaves you out of the mix doesn't it Warden." Oghren laughed, "You ain't no lady I've seen you kill darkspawn and made men wet themselves."

Jowan coughs and nearly choaks on his drink as he tries to stifle a laugh at the dwarfs comment. The group turn at his distress and laugh some more before Ami drews there attention back to her.

"I _do not _make men wet themselves. Well, at least not on purpose anyway. But returning to your question ser I shall answer it. I will be twenty three and my birthday is also in spring, the last day of Andraste's holy month and celebrations."

"That's four days from now. Is that why you were hinting at me old friend, so I could leave you a gift?"

"If it was going to be anything like your previous you can keep it Jowan and no, I am not hinting at anything. I do not wish to celebrate it. Now if you will excuse me gentlemen and lady I shall retire to my tent, goodnight."

She tilted her head and left the group.

"She doesn't like celebrating it, then why does she make a fuss over everyone else's?" asked Cullen quietly.

He knew little about Ami from just his observations in the tower but in the past year she had requested that he be allowed to accompany her on her travels as a Warden. Being around her allowed him to become more familiar with her fighting style so he could take her down if needed but more importantly he found himself enjoying her company more and more and found he was relaxed around her. Greagoir had been a little unsure of the course but after Ami told him the Chantry would probably prefer seeing her appear to be supervised he couldn't argue and agreed. This was Cullen's fifth Warden mission with her in the past year and it was the best four weeks he had spent away from the tower in all his travels within the Chantry. During these missions he had saw firsthand the darkspawn and their own use of magic, to say it was unsettling to fight against was a bit of an understatement and Cullen thought how such monsters could be allowed to run about the country? Time and time again Ami and her small band of misfits showed him that they can and would be defeated, it was just a matter of strategy and her Warden senses.

Cullen grew to notice Ami's movements and reactions when it came to them very quickly. Being a templar meant he could sense her magic and if it changed be it slight subtle changes, like her invisible shield strengthening. When they had came across an Emissary Cullen knew the difference immediately and the taint attached to the magic was something unfamiliar to Cullen. His first attempts failed to take it down but with Ami's help he managed to adapt his talents to combat the creature's magic. It disturbed him that there were these monsters among the darkspawn with the ability to wield powerful forces against them and he decided that these were slightly worse than corrupted mages, at least mages had some kind of feeling these monsters had nothing but evil within them. He learned that lesson when they came across two ghouls. It had both shocked and distressed him greatly when he saw the young child holding her dead but somehow still alive baby brother in her arms. Ami had let Zevran take care of it; she just couldn't look at the two children at all without seeing River. Cullen knew then that Ami would not see the innocent suffer from the hands of these creatures and it only increased his respect for her.

When the Warden's called she needed to hear and abide by her oath. Thankfully they had allowed her to remain at the tower as the base of her operations while another Warden from Orlais took up post at the Vigil in Amaranthine. They were in constant contact and sometimes being a Warden took precedent over her research but this trip was different, they were journeying to Mayer's Den to find some of the mage Avernus's research. She had warned Cullen of him, that he was Blood Mage and a Warden but his research was crucial to her understanding of the taint and its effects. Avernus had told her it was where his research had began and his early notes and findings should still be there hidden away. Ami had mentioned that it was during the Blight that she had met Avernus and helped reclaim Soldier's Peak for the Wardens and the Dryden family. She rarely spoke about those days and only on occasion would share some amusing stories that had happened.

Cullen's question had silenced the group and he mouthed an 'o'.

"It's not exactly a happy story lad," Oghren answered first, taking a swig of his flask.

"Which part, before or after the Blight?" quipped Jowan as he shook his head, "That woman has never had a year without remembering what happened, both times."

"I'm sorry what? Both times?" Leliana asked her voice strained from its usual even tone.

"She did tell you how she came to the Circle?" asked Jowan, eyebrowing the bard.

"She told me she cast at a boy who threatened her, a few days after her birthday."

"She did, but let's just say the Templar's who escorted her to the tower were a bit rough."

Cullen could feel the intake of a few of the group's companions, he scowled at the thought, the act was unbecoming of a Templar but he had heard of it. Jowan only nodded and continued.

"She doesn't speak about it and so always associates her birthday with pain. The pain of being taken away from her home, her family to be treated less than human, to then go off and fight against the Blight and then have her love betray her as well as her best friend well I would hate my birthday too."

"Sorry what?!" Cullen asked confused by some of Jowan's comments.

Jowan sighed and Leliana was the one to speak, her voice wavering.

"Of course … _now_ I understand. Andraste's birth is celebrated in a week long celebration but it wasn't during the Blight as the festival began the day we gathered at Redcliff before the final battle. The last day of the festival was the day after the final battle, when she … _oh maker_ … Ami," she gasped and held her hand to her face, "That fiend!" she threw a stick into the fire and shook her head.

Cullen still didn't fully understand but the expressions that crept across the other companions faces spoke in abundance. Zevran mask wavered and he struggled to keep himself calm and collected as his hands nimbly kept crossing the hilts of his daggers, he muttered a few things under his breath. Leliana shot the elf a glance.

"You knew! Didn't you? You knew!"

Zevran only nodded.

"How could you keep that a secret Zevran?!"

"I didn't. I only discovered it when he told her what he and the harpy did. I nearly killed him then but I was so overjoyed that she was alive I couldn't. He did the thing I could not."

Cullen was slowly begun to understand. Something had happened that allowed Ami to live after the battle with the arch demon and it was betrayal that had ensured it, all before her birthday. He felt something within him stir but he was unsure what it was. His heart quickened as he thought about Ami and if she hadn't survived, he wouldn't have had the experiences that he now, he wouldn't be better or had and the experience of dealing with tainted magic. _No_, he didn't want to think about how things could have been, he'd still be in the tower muttering to himself more likely and still waking up in a cold sweat. He shuddered at the thought of the nightmares again. He didn't want to think about the demon and its poison because since her return he had become stronger.

She had helped ease the pain; she had shown him that there was hope that things could change that he had the ability to change to become better. It was thanks to her that he had this chance in the first place and he wanted to thank her in anyway he could. He decided then that he'd try and make her proud of him.

A few days into the journey to Mayer's Den Cullen approached her.

"Ami."

"Yes Cullen?" she answered, pausing to fall next to him.

He pointed for her to follow him and fall back away from the group ahead so he could speak to her privately.

"Something wrong Cullen?"

He shook his head. "No nothing wrong. I just want to talk to you."

She nodded at him though her expression showed she wasn't convinced by his reply.

She looked up to him as he stopped and turned to face her. He smiled as she folded her arms and cocked her hip to the side, waiting for him to say what he had to say; a habit he found endearing.

"I-I want to tell you how much I appreciate you taking me along with you. Without you I would probably be in a worse state than if you hadn't come back."

She nodded, "I know it hasn't been easy for you but," she paused and her face contort and she quickly dropped her hand to produce a ball of lightening.

Cullen quickly drew his sword, darkspawn.

"There's an Emissary?" he asked quietly and he saw her nod; she could feel the dark magic better through the taint, "How many?"

"Four maybe five, they seem to be trying to dull my senses or at least the Emissary is, unlucky for him we have you."

Cullen chuckled quietly.

"To the left and be careful."

"You have no need to tell me twice my lady," Cullen replied as he swept to the side, sword in hand and decapitated one of the Genlocks in one swift blow.

He saw Ami go to ground and release her chain of lightening but after it danced through the second Genlock it quickly turned and fed back to her. Cullen saw her face contort in surprise just before the blow hit her square in the chest knocking her back into the trunk of a nearby tree. He killed the second Genlock and quickly ran over to her. She was unconscious and now he was on his own to stare another three possible darkspawn. Unlike her he had no sense of where they would come, the only sense he had was the acidic taste in the back of his throat of the tainted magic. He cursed and felt a surge of rage come to the front of his mind; he'd kill the blasted creatures for this. He needed to focus on it.

He knelt and placed on hand on the ground feeling for the direction and if the Emissary had cast on any of the other remaining Darkspawn. The buzzing in his head was becoming harder to ignore but he tried to listen around him for them. A Hurlock came to his right brandishing a sword and shield and Cullen moved to intercept him. He could feel magic moving towards him before he even saw the Emissary standing not ten feet away. Cullen was on his own it was a silent attack and Ami and he had fallen too far behind to have any chance of the others hearing the rukus. He kicked the Hurlock to the ground and stabbed it in the chest then slashed against its throat, black tainted blood spewing out of the wound. Cullen stood and waited for the Emissary to make his move.

The creature glowered at him and raised its staff; Cullen quickly dropped to his knees and cast his palms out to cleanse the area around him before it had time to cast. He looked up at it and saw that his dispel had little effect as the creature came at him with a fire ball spell. He rolled to the side dodging the blast and then quickly got onto his feet and charged at it. The creature looked slightly shocked as the glistening armour came at it; sword raised shouting and Cullen watched as it raised its staff to block the attack. He cut through the branch like butter and struck the Emissary clean in the forehead splitting its head in two. He kicked at it to pull his sword back and looked around checking if there were more hiding and turned back to the tree that Ami was still near to.

He bent down and pulled her into his arms checking her over. Her body was covered in dark bruises from where the electricity had entered and left her body trying to get to ground. Her face was bruised and a thin line of blood trickled down her cheek from a head wound, Cullen's face grimaced as he looked at the deep gash.

"Ami? Can you hear me?" his voice was hoarse and filled with fear.

Cullen could only hear her breathing heavily and couldn't feel anything broken but he knew she was going to be in a lot of pain when she woke up. He could see her wounds were superficial and she had been knocked unconscious from hitting the tree but he needed to be calm. He shook his head.

"What I was saying? I-I wanted to thank you. You have given me so much to think about and have helped me put my demons to rest you will _never_ know how much that means to me. How much _you_ … mean to me. I owe you everything and the only thing I want is for you to be happy and not to regret our past, it's the past let it lie there. I-I'm sorry for what I said to you."

It wasn't exactly what he wanted to say but it would do for now, _until he found the right words_ he thought. He needed to move her and get them back to the others. He naturally stroked her cheek as he checked her head.

A low pained moan came out of her throat and she slowly opened her eyes.

"C-Cullen? …" she moaned louder as the pain came and he moved his hand quickly.

"The Emissary must have cast a repulsion spell; it made your chain spell back fire onto you."

"Ugh! I feel like I've been struck with a hammer all over," she said closing her eyes tightly.

"Can you walk?"

She shook her head, "No I don't think I have the strength yet. Do you mind?"

"Not at all my lady." He smiled.

"Cullen, you killed them all yourself?" she said remarking to the fallen darkspawn littered around.

"Yes. Why?"

"Well, not that I mind having my ass saved but, I just … I didn't think you'd pick up on the training so quickly. I'm impressed."

"Well, consider this a reward for your hard work. You got to live." He chuckled at her bemused expression. "It is an experience I would not have liked to have passed up. I-I enjoy travelling with you and learning from you, I feel like I'm actually doing something and it's because of you I feel like, like I have a purpose again." He smiled and felt his face flush a little.

"I-I don't know what to say Cullen. I'm glad you think that way and ... I-I ... enjoy travelling with you too. I think being out of the tower has changed you for the better." He watched as her face blushed a little and she smiled at him.

_You have no idea how true that is_, he thought.

He gently picked her up from the ground and settled her into his arms taking care not to hurt her too much. He enjoyed carrying her back to the others; they shared a comfortable silence and coy glances. The others were all relieved that they were both not seriously harmed and slowly letting her down, Cullen hesitantly let the others take over. Zevran walked over and took her arm as she walked gingerly to a nearby log so that Jowan and Leliana could check her wounds.

"Humph, I see our Templar friend was trying his luck." He whispered not too quietly.

"Zev! Jealousy is unbecoming of you! Cullen was the perfect gentleman I'll have you know." She replied, giving Cullen a quick glance and nod as he settled a little further away.

Zevran smirked, "Well it's those types I find are the most dangerous, it is always the quiet ones. You never know with them."

Ami laughed and nodded.

Cullen wondered when the last time he had felt these conflicting feelings, it was before they had been corrupted by the demon when they were innocent and naïve. Now he realised they were being remade and his heart beat hard against his chest as he remembered when he saw her against the tree. He had felt fear and an intense feeling of dread had filled his mind thinking she was dead, relief poured over him when he realised she was still alive but that was quickly changed to anger and rage at the darkspawn. He cut them down for hurting her and it was then his feelings begun to relieve themselves to him.

He loved her. He actually loved her. Before her harrowing it had been a crush a feeling of want from a distance and wonder. Now that he had spent time with her, became friends with her, the awkward feelings he had felt around her made sense. She had completely stolen his heart; _no not stolen he thought_; he had willingly given her it. He had found her frightening and inspirational at the same time, her jokes, that laugh made him smile and the way she was with other people it made him realise that there was more to her than just her striking beauty. When she shared things about herself with him he loved getting to know her and outside the tower her beauty radiated inside as well outside she wasn't just a mage to him. She spent time helping him understand why she did things that infuriated him and he found himself looking back and questioning his Chantry upbringing. She teased him, though innocently and from what Cullen seemed to now know she enjoyed his company and it was this trip that had shown him that. For the first time, he admitted that he would be happy if he never returned to the tower if it meant staying by her side.

He just didn't want to be anywhere else but with her.

~v~

_Cullen could hear the regular echo's of the fade in the background and the familiar ache at the pit of his stomach as the all too familiar dream came into vision. _

_The dungeon dream again. _

_A pitiful place with no air of hope it oozed pain, despair and anguish. The filth around was evident, both human and animal and the lack of light covered the area in almost complete darkness, the only light coming from a small cut out hole in the ceiling. They were in a private corner cell at the end of a long hallway seeking to rescue the person who could change it all with just a flash of a smile. He bent over the figure, his hand reaching at her shoulder gently. She sat with her knees up to her chest and her hands wrapped around her feet. She was staring, her blue-grey eyes seeming to be lost in deep thought. Cullen didn't want to voice that they looked almost dead to anything it was too painful, there was no glint or spark in them just… emptiness. Her skin was grey and badly bruised all over and her face swollen from the beatings she had obviously endured. _

"_Can you hear me? Ami? Can you hear me?"_

_Cullen was begging her, pleading her to hear him, to shake her out of what ever trance she was in. His hands shook her shoulders gently as he tried to stir her with physical contact, nothing. She just continued to stare blankly into, no through him, like he wasn't even there. River, yes the woman next to him, it _was_ River he could see that now, she was doing the same but still nothing was stirring a reaction. He looks at River, a fully grown woman now and she see's the anger and pain in her features as she looks down at her mother. She straightens and shook her head; balling her hands into tight fists. _

"_I will make her pay! That witch! I will make her pay," he see's her quickly turn and run down a hallway as he shouts after her. He curses as he feels torn between going after her and remaining beside Ami and then he hears her speak. _

"_Cullen?" it's a soft, dazed tone. _

"_Oh thank the Maker, yes I'm here."_

"_No. No you can't be. You _can't_ be here, you're protecting River, you're making sure she's safe. She can't be alone, not with _her_ not with them they'll turn her, use her. Can't be alone."_

_She began rocking back and forth, her eyes still remaining fixed. Cullen cupped her face. _

"_Ami listen to me, we're here, and we're going to get you out of here. Please come back. Come back!"_

_Tears were in his eyes and he tried to will her back to him, to take her back from the darkness. _

"_Can't be alone, can't be alone." She kept repeating over and over again. _

_Cullen broke down and turned away from her and ran to try and follow River's path. _

This was the dream that plagued him the most.

He prayed that it wasn't a vision or a demon playing with his sanity again. He couldn't go through that again, not knowing what was real and what was just fantasy, he didn't think he'd have the strength to fight against it this time.

He wrapped his arms tighter around the sleeping figure beside him. He would never let anything harm her, _never_. He wished he could just keep her here in this room and the world around them could stay behind that door being barred from the happiness that dwelt within.

He felt her stir and looked down at his chest to see two big blue-grey eyes staring at him, he smiled. He could get used to this, very used to this.

"Hi," he said gently.

She tilted her head up and smiled broadly at him.

"Hi," she said.

He grinned and moved one hand over her back following the curve of her spine up and down. He watched as her eyes fluttered and she snuggled closer to him and returned the action with her fingers over his stomach.

"I think we should get up soon," she began but the tightening of Cullen's arm caused her to laugh.

"And I think ... we should stay, just a little longer, they can do without you for another few more minutes." He replied thickly.

"Cullen you said that hours ago! And we've been asleep for that long, after … you know," her smile broadened even more and she bit her lower lip.

"Well you were all wet. You could have caught a fever; I had to get you out of those clothes for your own good."

"My own good! Oh yes my Templar for my own good indeed! And what about the other times?" she replied swatting his chest smiling up at him.

They both burst into a fit of laughter at her words. Ami sighed as she pulled away to sit up next to him, curling her legs underneath her and moved a lock of her hair behind her ear. Cullen followed her looking into her eyes, she was worried.

"You're worried about me." It wasn't a question it was a statement and she didn't look at him, "Don't be Ami, together we can do this and I'm glad we were given this chance."

"Am I that obvious?" she smiled rubbing her hand against his thigh, "I just couldn't bear to lose you Cullen."

Cullen nodded and brushed his thumb against her cheek causing her to look at him.

"And I don't want to lose you either. I had to show you how much you mean to me. How much I want to be with you and how I want you to be happy, I love you and I _will _be with you." He smiled as he pulled her face closer to his and kissed her gently.

She moaned and he smiled against her lips.

"I could get used to this you know," she said against his lips.

"You and me both my lady. You couldn't have Morrigan stay a few days; I would love to spend some … quality time with you."

"Chantry boy indeed!"

He chuckled and kissed her again.

"What can I say, I've thought a lot about us together."

Ami blushed and nodded but her eyes gazed to the door.

"You do know they'll be looking for me. I'm surprised they haven't knocked the door in."

Cullen shrugged and he looked at her face, concern and dread filled her expression.

"Here I know what will relax you," but when he didn't get the reaction he set out to try and get he sighed.

"But I see you have your mind set on investigating what Morrigan had to say. This new threat and the underground Chantry cult, I have to say I've never heard of such a thing but I can imagine that something like it exists."

Ami nodded, the thought had crossed her mind that Morrigan had been lying but the way she had reacted reinforced her belief, however much it angered her, that she was telling the truth.

"I'm sorry love. I wish I could relax but this is huge. And I don't mean that this isn't important I mean," she felt his finger on her lips.

"Don't say anything. I know you. I know how much you want to protect our future and I am a part of that future Ami I know I am, you don't need to remind me of that. You don't need to tell me you want to protect that, I want to help you protect it. So yes I understand why you have to do this," he smiled and stroked her cheek again.

"Maker I love you. I-I never thought I'd have that again," she kissed him and slowly got off the bed, ruffling his hair as she went. He grinned up at her and tilted his head at her.

"Do you want me to stay here? Or do you want me to come too?"

She turned and looked to the floor biting her bottom lip then looked at Cullen.

Cullen chuckled deeply and nodded seeing the desire in her eyes.

"I think I'll stay for a little while then come back later. How does that sound?"

"Oh and Alistair said _I_ was the evil one! You ser are a different matter! Teasing me so!" she crossed her arms and smiled at him before moving to her armoire to pull out some clean robes.

"I aim to please my lady," he said as he settled back in the bed and watched her dress.

He found it was just as arousing watching her dress as it was removing her clothes and he groaned a little as she moved. She giggled at hearing his pleasure and shot him a wicked and playful grin and she manipulated the laces on her robes above her breasts.

"_I_ am not the only one who is evil my lady. Go, quickly before I decide that robe needs to be wet and soaked through."

She laughed and kissing him on the temple left her chamber.

He smiled as he heard her walk away and leans back on the bed folding his arms behind his head and looking to the ceiling. He recited the prayer that had become his routine.

_Maker bless you for giving me this woman, _he thought_. _

_Bless you for finding her and bringing her to me_

_Thank you Maker for allowing me to protect her and her child_

_Thank you that you find this man worthy of such a precious thing_

_Give me the strength that I will not fail her or River ever again_

_Give her strength in her tasks Maker and bless her steps_

_Her task is a difficult one and brings many dangers _

_Please follow her steps and watch over her. _

Cullen slowly began to drift back to sleep, he begrudgingly began to fall back into the pattern of dreams that had plagued him. A few moments later he was awake again, sweating and bothered by yet another dungeon dream, though it had changed at the end.

_He was running after River, trying to see where she had gone. A scream called out from behind him, a horrid blood curdling scream came from Ami's cell. He was torn again but ran back to the cell. _

_A cloaked and hooded figure stood over Ami, her eyes had finally come out of the trance she had been under but they were different. Instead of blue-grey they were black and Cullen saw her visitor had planted a dagger into her shoulder opening the arch demon scar. The daggers blade glowed as it sunk into Ami's skin and the scream that came from her was gut wrenching. _

_Cullen drew closer and shouted but the hooded figure just ignored him and pulled the dagger out spraying Ami's blood around the wall and floor. Cullen pushed them away and bent to Ami, bracing himself as he held his hands a little away from her skin. She was shaking and screaming at the cloaked figure. _

"_You'll never figure it out!" she spat, "Never! My blood won't talk to you!"_

_She lifted her head from the floor and glared at them with so much hate and venom Cullen had never seen such emotion driven at one person. Her gaze flicked over to Cullen and back to the figure. _

"_You want to tease me again with my love! This game is old!"_

"_Ami. I'm really here Ami. Look at me."_

_She looked at him, eyes ablaze with so much anger. _

"_Begone! Leave me. You still can't get him right ser. Cullen would never" her voice broke slightly, "he'd never let himself become trapped here, never."_

"_I'm not trapped we came to get to, we came to free you. River is here, Zev is here Ami look at me _I am here_!"_

_She shook her head and looked back at the figure. _

"_Kill me. You have what you wanted, so do it! You'll get no answers from me, nothing!"_

_Cullen had had enough and shook her shoulders, her blood mixed with his fingers as he shook her hard trying to get through to her that he was no illusion. She winched in pain as he shook and she looked at him, eyes wide with shock. _

"_C-Cullen? Is it really you?"_

"_Oh yes my love. It is. I-I'm sorry I had to hurt you, you just couldn't see me." He cupped her face with his hands and put his forehead against hers tears were now streaming down her face. _

"_You … can't… be… here! They'll kill you! They'll kill River!"_

_The figure had gone but the cloak and a set of keys remained. _

"_I'll kill that bastard!" he said as he tried to stop Ami's shoulder bleeding with his shirt. _

_Ami shook her head, "No, no my love we have to, we _must_ find River. She doesn't know what danger she's in."_

_Cullen helped her to her feet and using the keys removed her chains. She unsteadily began to make for the door when she turned to him. _

"_I do hope this is real. It's a cruel thing being tortured with the thing you most want and love. I-I truly understand now what my love was going through now."_

_Cullen could only feel darkness when he looked at her, bleakness and emptiness. She reminded him of the first few weeks after his own torture and it scared him. Something in the dream changed and she was now slumped over at the foot of a huge dragon, blood pooled around her. Cullen saw the dragon and he instantly knew it was looking at him, the buzzing in his head was audible and he could hear its thoughts. _

_She will free me, she will release me and you will help her. In time I will rise again and walk with human eyes you cannot stop this. _

Cullen woke up suddenly at that point realised he had fallen out of the bed.

What does it mean? What is the dragon, is that the arch demon? But Ami killed it, didn't she?

He held his hands against his head and shook his head. He'd have to tell her about these dreams, they were coming more and more and they were starting to take there toll on him.

_She's not going to like this, another thing to add to her list of worries, he thought. _

He slowly stood and began putting back on his armour. It felt slightly heavier than normal but he shrugged it on and tightening his sash around him readied himself to leave. He opened the door slightly making sure that no-one was outside and left Ami's room, closing the door behind him quietly.

"Had a good nap my friend?"

Cullen jumped and turned to see Zevran leaning against the wall across from him smiling broadly.

"Ah … Zev." _Busted_ thought Cullen.

Zevran pushed off the wall and stood in front of Cullen his eyes and mask never giving him any indication of his mood or reaction. He eyed Cullen and then smiled very wide and hugged him.

"You should have seen you lady. She looked simply divine and positively glowing. I can imagine what skills you used to relieve her of her tension and worries no?"

Cullen didn't speak, there was no point with Zevran, he knew anyway and all he needed and wanted was a visible conformation so Cullen nodded and smiled.

"Aha! I knew she couldn't resist you for long and you _finally_ had the courage to tell her, good I am happy for you both."

Zevran slapped him on the shoulder and grinned. Cullen only shook his head and smiled at the elf.

"I have to go Zev; you know what people will think if they see me around here and you better keep your mouth shut."

"What people will think? My friend you have been living in your own world for far too long. The whole tower knows your feelings for each other."

"Yes but they don't know what you know. I'm still a Templar, for now and I need you to be discrete."

"Ah my liege I shall do as you command, besides I have kept an eye on you and her since this whole situation began. Do not think I did not notice my friend, even when I was working for Alistair I still had my eyes on you. I am glad it has turned out this way, she is happy and I will not be the only one that see's that friend. I suggest you and Alistair set your plan in motion soon."

Cullen nodded, it was time they started the ball rolling and perhaps Morrigan's warning would mean Ami would leave for Soldier's Peak sooner rather than later. That way he might have a surprise for her when she returned. He smiled, now that would be the greatest gift he could give her.

He bid Zevran a good day and left to find Alistair, together they would go and talk to Greagoir.

* * *

Here is the update, Hope you have enjoyed this newest edition. I wanted to focus on Cullen in this chapter bringing up some things that will be understood better in the later chapters. I really wanted to show that his feelings took time and weren't just the old feelings he had resurfacing but it was him falling in love with her all over again, i hope that came across anyways. I wanted to start it off with her return and how that affected him and started his change in behaviour as he started to heal after the fall of the Circle. The song at the start is an indication of Ami's effect on him and that she helped deliver him out of his madness and the dark place he was in after Uldred. The second part of the song is directed at the feelings Cullen wants her to return. I hope that came across or this comment clarifies it. I love the song in general and its a great slow feeling song and its speaks wonders even if it is a christian song.

Anyways! Please review and send me a message with some ideas or things that you think just didn't work i love hearing from people who are reading this and i mean it when i say IT DOES HELP! :)

The next chapter is going to include the talk with Ami and Alistair as they plan what they are going to do about Morrigan. Awkward! It'll see AMi set off so that Alistair and Cullen can head off to Denerim and see the Grand Cleric/Revered Mother about his release. We'll get to meet a new character too, who will 'play-act' the Orlaesian Warden. So things are starting to get moving with that but Morrigan isn't exactly telling Ami everything, a few hints will be made about Asha her daughter in this chapter too.

Thanks so much and i'll try and get back asap with a new update for you all :) MouseMage


	13. A New Journey Begins

13. A New Journey

"I see you finally came to join us," smirked Alistair as Ami walked into Greagoir's office.

"Well I was tired and a little pre-occupied with our visitor Alistair. It's not like I expected _her_ to show up." She answered coldly.

Ami folded her arms and shook her head at him; she couldn't believe his lack of sensitivity sometimes but it was something to be expected. She watched as his eyes drop and he nodded.

"I-I'm sorry Ami, I-I didn't think. I thought you had just left and was going to leave me and Wynne to handle this."

Ami scoffed, "No. I wouldn't be so stupid as to let _you_ handle her Alistair," _not again_ she added to herself. "I believe her and _before_ you say anything I know her better than any of you. She has proven to me that there is a threat. It doesn't mean I trust her however."

Alistair's expression flicked from concern to relief as she spoke and he nodded again.

"Right now we have to decide what our plan is," she said as she sat in a chair between him and Wynne, Greagoir stared at them all from across his desk nodding.

"Well I've never heard of an order, but it would be foolish to think that one doesn't exist. I would also think it foolish that they wouldn't feel threatened by you and his majesty, you've not exactly been warm to the Chantry these past few years sire."

Alistair waved dismissively at Greagoir.

"I thought we agreed there was no need for protocol Greagoir, I am just Alistair here but yes, these past few years I have not tolerated the Chantry much. They gave me quite the mouthful after I announced the Mage-Advisory position at court."

Wynne nodded and groaned a little, "Yes, even with the protection of that position I suspect that they half expected Ami to take it up but when she didn't they were obviously surprised no?"

Ami laughed, "Of course they were! The letter I received from the Revered Mother made it seem that she was almost upset that I hadn't gone to Denerim."

"I suspect it may have been a trap to lure out your previous relationship. Even with Alistair creating the position and an election process for it they might have thought you would have taken the position without resistance but when they found out your name wasn't even on the list of potentials they were most surprised and possibly thought they were wrong," added Greagoir.

Alistair shifted in his chair and leaned forward.

"I doubt it's that simple. The Revered Mother and the Grand Cleric are shifty and very good at," he grinned, "swooping."

Ami chuckled and nodded.

"Still, it doesn't ignore the fact that we have extremists on our tale."

"Do you have a plan then?" asked Wynne. She placed a hand on Ami arm and looked at her. Ami nodded.

"I do but we're going to need help."

"Of course child, we'll do anything we can. I for one would like to rid the maker of these fools who defile in his name" answered Greagoir.

She smiled at Greagoir and nodded.

"I think its best I head out to Soldier's Peak. I can speak to a few of the Wardens there and get a message sent to Markus at the Vigil. It's safer I tell him via the Warden messengers as we don't know who could intercept a regular one. Leli can remain here, as much as I know your Templar's are up to the task of guarding River Knight-Commander I would rather keep a rogues eyes on her."

She paused and watched as he entwined his fingers together on the desk and nodded she knew he wouldn't be nodding at the next part of her plan.

"Alistair and Cullen will head to Denerim, there they can see if they can find out some information and relay it back to me at Soldier's Peak. Alistair and Cullen will explain why Commander, it is their plan not mine. Artie will come with me as will Zev and Oghren and I suppose Morrigan too. I don't trust her enough to stay here or let her leave."

"A wise decision Ami," answered Wynne, "I will let the others know."

Wynne rose to leave and placed a hand on Ami's shoulder patting her gently before she left.

"Why Cullen? He has told you of the Chantry's concern I hope?" Greagoir said leaning forward. Ami noticed him untwine his fingers and clench, his shoulders had tensed and he had straightened in his chair.

Ami nodded and smiled sadly this was the part she was dreading and she tried to still her flipping stomach.

"Cullen wishes to be released from his vows as a Templar Greagoir," Alistair began.

Greagoir's face turned sour and he looked back at him.

"He has finally admitted his true feelings for Ami and does not wish to regret if anything happened between them."

_It's a little late for that, but I know he doesn't regret it_, she thought.

Greagoir shot Ami an icy glance and she swallowed trying to calm her nerves before she spoke.

"Greagoir I know that he is your son and Wynne's son. He doesn't know it himself I can tell but I've been around him long enough to notice the similarities between you all."

Ami smiled sympathetically as Greagoir closed his eyes and nodded, visibly relaxing as she spoke. Alistair remained silent, his face twisted in shock at what Ami had just revealed about Cullen, Greagoir and Wynne, she would answer his questions later.

"I do not wish to hurt you ser, you have given me more than I could ever ask for and I know he feels the same. He, he doesn't wish to disappoint you, he just wants to be happy and I …I think I do that."

Greagoir looked at Ami, _she truly did love him_ he thought and he saw how Cullen had become stronger after her return. It was due to their shared strength that they had come out of their shared despair, helping and supporting each other even if neither had noticed. She was a good woman, loyal, kind and honourable and would easily quash any rival set in her way. She was good for Cullen and he for her, they balanced each other in a way he'd never seen before and it made his heart glad that they were trying to stay together.

"You have never hurt me my lady." He began quietly, smiling at her.

Ami found it strange to see him smile so warmly about something, in reality she didn't think she had ever seen him smile for good reason.

"And I am glad for you both that you have found each other. I can only ask how you will go about such a task; no Templar has ever left the Chantry not in any honourable way."

Ami looked at Alistair and nodded to let him take the conversation.

"Ami cannot be part of the plan. If the Chantry gets wind of her involvement in this there will be trouble and neither you nor I will be able to protect her from that. Cullen and I will discuss it with you, our plan. Ami would you mind?"

She smiled and shook her head. "My friend, I trust mine and Cullen's future with you both and I trust you to do what you can. Though the idea of being in the dark scares me I do trust your judgement I will leave you men with your plotting," she quipped smiling at them.

"Will you get Cullen, I'm sure Greagoir would like to hear it from him too."

She nodded and rose to her feet, wishing them a good day and left to find Cullen.

Alistair turned to Greagoir, his face visibly sour and his eyes dark.

"I don't like this idea of hers. Morrigan is not to be trusted but I can see no alternative but to go along with this. River must remain protected Greagoir I mean it. I know I said to ignore protocol but as your King I am _ordering_ you to protect her. Ami can take care of herself but I _will not_ allow our daughter to become mixed in with these Chantry rebels. Do you understand me … as one father to another?"

Greagoir only nodded and sighed.

"Good."

~v~

Ami walked down the hallway from Greagoir's office when she felt her wrist being grabbed by someone as she was pulled into a nearby alcove.

"Cullen!"

Her squeal was muffled as he drew her in for a kiss. She pulled away gently and swatted his chest plate glancing around for prying eyes.

Cullen chuckled. "I couldn't resist it, you are far too distracting to ignore when you walk like that in that robe. That, was for teasing me earlier!"

He eyed her Tevinter style robes, they weren't as revealing as her chasind robes but they were more fitting to her shape. She tried to glower at him but it failed as she smiled at him.

"You have to talk to Greagoir now. Alistair wants to go over your plans with him."

Cullen groaned and nodded. It was likely that she would be leaving as soon as everything was settled and he wouldn't see her for a while. He wanted to spend as much time with her as possible so he tightened his hold around her waist.

"Cullen," she smiled, eyeing playfully at him. "I do remember you saying I'd see you later and I expect you to keep that promise. You can't keep it if you get scolded by Greagoir for taking too long, now go!"

He kissed her again and groaned as she pulled away, leaving him in the alcove alone. He shook his head, it had barely been a few hours since she had left him the first time, how was she driving him this mad with desire already? He shrugged and shaking his head slowly returned to the hallway and headed to Greagoir's office.

He clenched his gloved hand and pounded the door three times before hearing Greagoir's voice call out. He entered and nodded to the two men who were seated in the small office and took a seat next to Alistair.

"Good you're here, now we can begin talking about our plans," said Alistair.

~v~

"Why are you smiling?"

Leliana glanced at River as she sat eating a fancy roll and trying to read.

"Mmmm?"

"You're smiling about something. What are you smiling about?" asked River, she cocked her head to one side looking at the bard quizzically.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean little one." She said smiling and continued eating.

River huffed and frowned.

"I like secrets. I'm good at keeping them. I know of two secrets but you already know them. Why can I not know this one?"

"It's a little complicated River" Leliana sighed. "Its best if your Mother tells you about it," she added continuing to read her book.

"Leli!" a loud whisper came from behind them.

Leliana turned to see Zevran's head pop through the door of River's chamber. He was grinning very widely and obviously knew something had happened. Leliana's eyes went wide and she ushered him to come forward and tell her.

River observed the exchange; something obviously good had happened that it sent Leliana off in giggles after her uncle Zev whispered something in her ear.

"Really! Oh finally!"

"Leli, your company. Remember?" answered Zev quietly.

"Oh of course! But this is so exciting! She's finally taking a step towards her own happiness, I'm so glad for them both!"

"You're talking about Mommy," River asked flatly.

Leliana and Zevran looked at her both of them trying to hide the weakly contained smiles from her. River narrowed her eyes at them and folded her arm; she was not going to be pushed out of the conversation she wanted to know what was going on.

"What do you mean she's taking a step towards her own happiness? Auntie Leli? Uncle Zev … spill it." She summed up her best intimidating face and glowered at the two rogues.

Zevran let his head drop and shook his head at her.

"I'm sorry my little one I cannot say. You shall just have to talk to your mother about it I'm sure she'll want to talk to you about it anyways."

River growled at him but he just laughed and shook his head again.

"Oh Zev don't be like that. River, all we can tell you is that it is a good thing, a thing that will and has made your mother very happy."

Leliana smiled and took River's hand in her own, rubbing it gently. River looked at her and frowned. _Why couldn't they just tell her then?_

"Fine. I'll find Mommy and ask her myself then," and she jumped off the bed and ran out before Leliana could stop her.

"River, you're not to go out on your own!" Leliana jumped up but couldn't catch her. "Dam! Zev we need to find her, I promised Alistair I would look after her."

"You mean you wouldn't let her meet the witch of the wilds," answered Zevran.

Leliana nodded wearily.

"I've been using every trick I know to keep her thoughts away from her. You have no idea how hard it is keeping the attention of a six year old."

Zevran laughed and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Well I am here now. Shall we make a game of it my dear? The first to find her wins a prize?"

"And what prize would that be dear Zevran?" she smiled wickedly at him walking closer to him.

"I could think of many things that could be thought of as a prize no?" he placed a peak on her cheek and opened the door wider.

"I shall hold you to that promise Zev. Don't think I won't." and she pointed her finger at him before she took off in a run to track down River.

Zevran chuckled and smiled as he took the opposite direction in hunt for the young mageling.

~v~

River wandered down the servant stairs she didn't want to talk about hair or ribbons anymore, she didn't want distraction, she didn't want anything Auntie Leli had to offer she wanted the truth and the strange dark haired woman had that. She had felt the horror that her mother had felt when she had laid her eyes on the woman after duelling Cullen and she felt the rage and hurt underneath it too. She also felt the power from the woman, it was different to her mothers and the other mages, it was darker. This woman had hurt her mother, deeply and River wanted to know why.

"Where would I find you?" she muttered to herself.

She stopped her decent on the stairs and looked out the nearby window.

_I wonder_, she thought.

River rolled her eyes back and closed the lids of her eyes. She'd only used her senses to seek out her mother's presence before but she wondered could she use it to sense other mages or templar's? It was worth a try. She mentally settled herself and felt for the calmness until she felt absorbed into her own self. She slowly felt the faint essence of the templar's their, aura, as she called it was fainter than a mages it was more a whisper at the edge of her senses. She could tell which ones were stronger and there were only a handful of them in the tower and she knew all of them by name. Greagoir was one of them but Cullen was the strongest she could sense that now, if anything happened to her mother it would be him that rescued her.

The mages felt brighter and varied in strength and they each seemed to have a different affinity to them. Some were stronger in disciplines than others and each wavered when they used their powers, even slightly. River could feel her mother but she tried not to focus on her, doing so would alert her and River wanted to be alone, for now anyway. It was then that she felt the draw of the woman. River tasted her powers; it was darker and seemed less controlled than the others. It also seemed that the woman tried to hide the deep reserves that she had. River quietly focused in on her position within the tower and with that knowledge took off to find and confront her.

She smiled at herself for being calm and controlled in her first unsupervised attempt. She looked at her hands and turned them over excited by the knowledge that one day soon she will be able to use her power like her mother. She wandered down the spiral stairs until she came to the right level and pushed open the large oak doors. The templar on the opposite side gave her a stern look as she walked through. He was wearing his helm but she could still feel him doing it. She forgot apprentices were not supposed to use the back passages unless they were a full mage.

"Sorry ser Templar but it was the quickest way to lose the evil Orlesian doll dresser."

She swore she heard him chuckle at the thought. All the Templar's knew her and her mother; they knew the bard and her ideas about ladies in dresses and fancy shoes and also her opinion about them the Templar's. She saw him shake his head before she began walking slowly towards the small library to where the witch was.

She slowed down as she neared the door and poked her head in. The woman's back was towards her and she could see her looking through the shelves. Her short black hair was tied loosely back, her robes barely covered her back and River saw the little material covered her front and was a bit taken aback. Her skirt seemed to be made of different rags of leather stitched together and her long boots were made of the same thing. Her staff clung to her back and her arms were folded over her chest as she seemed to walk mindlessly about.

"You need not stand staring at me, I will not harm you."

River wasn't surprised by her announcement but she did not want to show her annoyance at being noticed by the woman. She breathed deeply and walked fully into the room, trying to draw confidence from the floor beneath her.

"I know and I do not fear you. You are Morrigan," she began. "And the reason for your being here in the tower is not welcomed by my parents company or the templar's here."

The woman turned and smiled wryly at her.

"I am Morrigan and it is not. Your father the most despises my presence here but I am not here for his pleasantries though they are none."

River did not want to know why her father hated her so, she was sure he would have good reason and it was not her place to ask him of it. She would make her own decision on this woman based on her own reasoning but she couldn't exactly do that without talking to her first.

"You upset my Mommy. I'd like to know why?"

River kept eye contact with her, watching her reptilian eyes closely. Morrigan sighed and nodded at her and leaned against the bookcase.

"I was her friend and I hurt her in the most deepest way but I did not do so lightly. I consider your mother my kin, my sister and I did it to save her life. The foolish girl wanted to die but I could not allow that to happen, the very thing I warned her of weakened me and I could only do one thing."

"You betrayed her trust. Why do you return then?" River folded her arms, there was more to the tale than that but the basics were there.

Morrigan smiled.

"I have returned to warn her and you. I may have hurt her in the past but I do not wish her the same fate that I almost had."

"Almost had?"

"You need not know the details only that she is in danger."

River watched as Morrigan looked at her, her eyes seemed to scan her thoroughly.

"You are very like your mother. Same spirit, same determination and though I have no doubt you have some of your foolish father's aptitudes I am resigned to the hope that you will rise to more of your mother's strength than his floundering."

Morrigan bent down to River's level and searched her face, looking for something. Whether she found it or not River was uncertain but Morrigan sighed and stood again. River eyed her again, she was not fully certain that Morrigan's admission was all that she made it out to be but she had no reason to doubt it, not yet so she watched her carefully.

"You have just came into your abilities have you not?"

The switch in conversation did not startle her.

"Yes. I cast fire after my parents told me of my Daddies role as King."

Morrigan nodded.

"I see. Were you upset by their lies?"

River shook her head and walked along the shelves, her finger running along the spines of the books, Morrigan watched her closely.

"No. I understood that it was a secret; they did it to protect us all. I know what could happen if the right people found out about me, especially now since I'm a mage." River sighed.

"Mmm. You surprise me child. Even though you are young in years your wisdom measures your mothers."

River turned around to look at Morrigan behind her. She smiled at River.

"She's been through a lot. Mostly on her own, with only Cullen and her friends to help her, she didn't ask to do it she just does it. She's done more to help this world than any one person, why should I be angry at her and Daddy for keeping me safe?"

Morrigan raised an eyebrow. "Cullen?"

"You've met him. He and my Mommy were duelling before you arrived."

Morrigan snorted and shook her head, "I wouldn't exactly call it duelling but I'm glad she at least has someone who has the spine to stand up to her besides myself."

River smiled and nodded. She remembered first hand her mother and Cullen arguing about some warden recruits. They had a shouting match between them that ended in their first real duel together. They hadn't noticed River listening from her hiding place as they shouted at each other and she could feel the tingling in the air when her mother used her lightening. She was too young to remember the details but the fight had caused havoc between them and for Greagoir and Wynne.

"I take from that grin across you face I am correct," mused Morrigan.

River was not sure what she meant but just smiled. The tap of the stone indicated the entrance of another person.

"Correct about what?"

River turned to see her mother standing there, her eyes quickly met the floor. She felt the change in her mother's power immediately as she drew deeper behind the veil and it terrified her. Ami's eyes darted from Morrigan to River as she clenched her hands at her sides.

"River leave us."

"But …"

"NOW!"

She'd never heard her mother shout so loudly and with so much anger behind, it made her instantly shrink back. She nodded and walked quickly out of the room. Her mother's eyes were wide in fear and anger and she instantly felt sorry for seeking out Morrigan to satisfy her own curiosity.

"You remind me of Flemeth dear sister."

"_Do not_ give me an excuse to kill you Morrigan. For the moment the only reason the Templar's haven't is by my will, they care so to speak though I'm sure if they had reason I could not stop them. Do not give them that."

Ami looked at Morrigan with cold fierce eyes. She did not mean to scare her but she did not want her anywhere near River.

Morrigan huffed and nodded.

"I will tell you dear sister that I would happily die than let one of those fools touch me."

Ami smirked, "That I believe, but I cannot have my rescuer die before I find out the details of the bounty on my head."

"You seem more relaxed and level headed since our last meeting."

Ami closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Let us say that I have had time to think."

Morrigan smiled, "This wouldn't have to do with the Templar Cullen would it?"

Ami shot her a warning glance.

"Very well I shall not pry," she smirked. "Will you have me tell you about them?"

"Yes. But I will tell you this _you_ are coming with us."

Morrigan nodded, "I had wished to regardless."

"Zev, Oghren, Artie and I will travel to Soldier's Peak. You shall join us. Alistair and Cullen will head to Denerim to begin looking."

"You really think that fool will be able to find anything but his own naval?"

Ami shook her head, "At least he will give us a head start and I need to stay away from Denerim for … other reasons until Alistair sends word."

"Other reasons? Besides the extremists?"

Ami nodded she didn't want to discuss any more than she had to too get her on board.

"Very well I shall join you." Morrigan bowed her head and began telling her all she knew about her captors.

Ami listened intently noting the change in her demeanour when certain painful aspects came to light. She had no doubt that Morrigan had been tortured, dark bruises on her upper arms and side pointed to beatings and her gaunt appearance showed lack of feeding. She was thin and dishevelled and Ami could see she had struggled to keep from being broken only her strong will held her tears back. She visibly shook at certain points and Ami could only feel regret that she had had to go through it all alone.

"When shall we be leaving?"

"Tomorrow, first light. Oghren is getting things organised for us. Cullen and Alistair will travel with us until we part ways on the high road."

"It will be like old times then. Well almost. What about the child?"

Ami tensed but replied.

"Leli will stay here with her and along with Wynne's guidance she will continue her studies."

Morrigan nodded, "Tis unfortunate that I could not teach her some shapeshifting, I think she would be an excellent student."

Ami looked at her, curiosity and caution warring at her thoughts.

"Why would you teach her?"

"Why not? She is a mage, changing form could only serve to give her an advantage should the fools in this Gods forsaken place fail in their duty." Morrigan huffed.

Ami considered it a moment. Leliana and Wynne would only be able to protect her from so much and there could be a time where she could be on her own. The theory of transformation was not difficult to understand but the actual act itself took months if not years of practice.

"I … will agree with this. But I will supervise and Maker help me if you say anything to Alistair I will set the Templar's on you Morrigan."

"Tis not the Templar's wrath I fear sister," Morrigan chuckled.

Ami allowed herself a slight smile and nodded, perhaps she would even learn something new.

~v~

"Thank you Mommy."

"For what River?" Ami asked looking down at her daughter.

"For letting me learn the shapeshifting. I know Morrigan hurt you a lot but I'm glad you let her try to train me."

Ami smiled and knelt down to her daughter's level.

"River, you are going to be a mage. You are also our little girl and circumstances mean that you need to be ready just in case something happens. It's like in the fade, you need to be prepared just in case, your father and I will not always be able to protect you."

River nodded and smiled.

"It's not just that. I'm glad you let me I know it couldn't have been easy Mommy."

Ami smiled and nodded.

"River, I-I have something to tell you."

"What Mommy?"

Ami looked at her and smiled, she was happy and River could tell.

"Does this have to do with why Auntie Leli and Uncle Zev were giggling?"

Ami shook her head and laughed.

"I shouldn't be surprised. You have always been quick to pick up on things." She smiled and nodded. "Yes it has and I think, well I hope you will like the idea too."

Now River was really interested, it did involve her not just her mother.

"Well I know we do but if you don't then we will understand. But …"

River stood still and looked at her mother intently.

"Mommy … did you tell Cullen you love him," River's eyes widened and she grinned widely, "he told you too, didn't he?"

Ami only nodded searching River's face for anything negative. Her search was met with a fierce hug and a squeal of delight from her daughter.

"I knew it! I knew you loved him! I knew it! Oh Mommy I'm so happy!"

Ami burst into tears and sobbed into her daughters embrace, gripping her tightly into her chest. She was ecstatic about it and relieved that her daughter felt the same.

"Mommy, please don't cry! I'm happy. I am, I've always loved Cullen, always." River pulled away and wrapped her hands around her mothers face.

"Don't cry. It's a happy day."

"Yes my little darling it is a happy day. That's why I'm crying."

River smiled and hugged her tightly before letting go. She skipped into her room and turned to face her mother.

"This is another secret isn't it?"

"From people we don't know yes. But not from our family River. They all knew before I did."

River smiled, "So Daddy knows?"

Ami nodded, "He's going to help Cullen out of the Templar's so he can be with us."

River's eyes beamed and she felt her chest swell with happiness, her mothers reaction was now even more understandable, he was giving up everything much like what her mother did. She wished one day that she would be able to have even a slice of what they had. She hugged her mother tightly and kissed her goodnight and shut the door.

She leaned against the door and sighed reflecting on the past few days. They had been one of the strangest two days, filled with duels, regular training, new training, new faces and new stories and now a new beginning and journey for her and her mother … with Cullen. She smiled and slipped into bed confident that the future was beginning to look a lot different and exciting.

* * *

So new chapter and i hope people have enjoyed. Please leave a review/comment/suggestions etc.

This chapter is really a filler for the characters, Cullen's freedom is in motion, Ami is preparing to journey with them all, Alistair is really not going to like travelling with Morrigan again and River's knowledge of her powers has developed. oooo she is going to be a powerful enemy when she's older. But what about Asha, Morrigan's daughter?

The next chapter is going to include Cullen and Ami's 'later' moment lol ugh smut again for me. It's also going to see Morrigan vs Alistair during the travels, will Ami defend her fellow mage or will she let the fight continue or just turn them both into stone? I'll also have Cullen address Ami about his dreams and she'll share her fade memories with him. In this chapter an attack on the party from the chantry fiends occurs but no more clues and hints will be divulged anymore lol you'll just have to wait and see.

Shout out to Wolfe's Princess again my friend you are a great help and your thoughts on the reasons behind Cullen's chapter was exactly what i was trying to show ... poor battered Cullen his mind is still not fully healed and the dreams are going to get worse and more frequent i will warn you now.

thanks to all who've added me as favs/alerts etc and also big notice i will be at some stage re-writing chapters 1-4 just to tighten them up a bit

mousemage


	14. The Rings that Bind

14. The Rings that Bind

Ami glided towards her chambers after wishing her little girl goodnight. She felt freer and the fuzzy tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach and around her heart made her feel like skipping down the hall.

She hummed instead, a happy slow tune to herself and swayed happily from side to side until she reached her door.

Nothing could spoil the mood she was in. For the first time in years she felt good, wanted and loved by the people that mattered. She pushed on the handle and entered her room. With a sigh, she closed the door behind her and leaned against it. She wondered if Cullen would come to her room but she wasn't sure. Would he risk it? Well, he had before, but she wasn't sure what would happen afterwards or during their travel to the Peak and Denerim. Would they act differently or would things be the same? Maker … would they share a tent? Ami couldn't remember how quickly things had changed between Alistair and her. She remembered how she missed him holding her the first few months after she left Denerim. She had missed his warmth and the feeling of being safe, held in his arms. She'd not been back to the capital since River's birth but the feelings were never forgotten.

"I guess he's not coming then," she sighed and let her head fall back on the door.

Then again the disappointment of him not coming definately spoiled her mood a little. She shook her head and moved to her vanity. She waved her hand over a few candles as she walked over, lighting the room dimly and it was then she noticed the wrapped parcel on her vanity unit.

"Oh."

She carefully picked it up and examined the little bundle before gently removing the soft paper wrapping. She could feel that it barely weighed anything at all through the paper and her curiosity grew. Finally after the final piece of paper was unfolded her face glowed and she sat immediately.

In the middle of the paper sat two rings, both of pure silver, one with a griffin the other with a templar insignia. Ami's mind raced at the significance of them until she felt something shift to her left. She spun around on her chair to face who it was.

It was Cullen, dressed in his simple normal clothes, he had taken to the shadows when she had entered and had watched her.

Ami was speechless her mouth hung open. She couldn't think straight and all she could feel was the hammering of her heart against the walls of her chest. Her breathing was rough as Cullen stepped closer. Ami couldn't breathe, she was paralysed. She lost focus as he knelt down and took one of her hands in his. Fear, pure fear, took over, but she couldn't escape. He had paralysed her. The man had paralysed her without even doing anything. She looked into his eyes. She hated how she couldn't read him, his emotions or thoughts. They looked soft and reassuring but she was terrified she didn't want to think about what he could be trying to do.

"I wanted to ask you something," he began.

_Oh Maker … _she thought.

Ami didn't speak. She felt her heart lodge itself in her throat, unwilling to move for fear of sounding a fool or worse saying something that would cause him to run away. Of everything she feared, she feared losing him as a friend. She would do everything to avoid such a thing.

"I-I wasn't expecting you to come back so soon. You caught me."

_Caught him?_ Ami's brain was clutching at straws … anything to try and regain herself.

"Yes. I-I wanted to ask you something. I .." he shook his head and his eyes darted about the room before resting back at hers. "Maker this is terrifying."

"Yes." Ami finally mumbled out.

"For you too? Thank the Maker!" he ran a hand through his red curls.

Ami smiled and sucked in a breath before breathing out a raspy laugh.

"No I-I … mean 'Yes' Cullen."

His smile dropped and he just gapped at her, unable to speak. His reaction suddenly caused her to regret it, was he actually asking her that?

_Oh Maker please tell me I've not just said the wrong thing!_ She thought.

"Please … tell me I've said the right thing? You are trying to ask me to …" she didn't want to say the last word it terrified her and she dropped her head.

Cullen dropped his head shaking it violently. He stood and pulled her up, still refusing to look at her and took the rings from her hand. He sighed heavily and Ami knew then he was just as terrified as she was. As he lifted his gaze to hers she was again paralysed by his intense stare. He set the rings onto the table and took her hands in his.

"I …" he stopped, trying to collect himself and what he wanted to say.

"I want to tell ... _No_. I want to ask… beg you to join me. I want nothing else in this world but you by my side, and I want nothing else but to be by yours. I want to live and breathe you every moment of my life. _You_ are the fire in my heart and soul, and the breath in my lungs. _You_ make me live and I can't live another day without asking if you would have me."

Ami's fear melted away as Cullen spoke. Never had it crossed her mind he would be asking this of her. She had dreamed of it of course but never in reality had she thought it possible. Her fear of rejection and abandonment had fuelled her anger and she had walled her heart away after River had been born and for a time she had been content to let it stay that way. Until Cullen had slowly began to soften it. Ami had found herself slowly opening up to him. She had found him as a friend before, but, after a time, found that there was more to it than friendship.

She smiled and untangled her hands from his. She let them cup his face and she gently stroked his cheek with her thumbs. She pulled a few breaths in deeply and closed her eyes. She slowly re-opened them and began to speak. She tried to convey her emotions into every word as she answered him.

"Forever, Cullen. I would have you forever. I would have you never leave my side my love. There is no other that I would wish to share my life with. _You_ are _my_ fire, the breath in _my_ lungs. My heart beats to find yours and yes my love, my eternal joy would be by your side. My answer is yes."

Cullen's lips suddenly crashed into her own and Ami ran her hands through his hair making little whimpering sounds. Tongues fighting a furious battle as he crushed her to him. Ami moaned at the feeling of her breasts crushed against his taut chest. Cullen moved his mouth to her throat, feeling her pulse thrum against his tongue. He nipped at her softly. Moving his mouth up to her ear, he whispered gently to her.

"My heart beats for you, my love is eternal. You are my life and I can't wait to make you mine."

"I am yours my love. Always and unchanging," she whispered back.

No other words were spoken. They weren't needed. The only sounds in the room were the gentle rustling of their clothing leaving their bodies and their harsh breaths as they moved towards Ami's bed. Their passion was beginning to soften into something sweeter and infinitely more tender.

Cullen picked Ami up and sat on the edge with her settled in his lap. He gently ran his hands up and down her back and finally rested them on her hips. He leaned forward to kiss her lips and Ami moaned softly as she tried to press closer. She wanted to feel him again. Cullen held her firmly away with his hands and she felt him smile against her mouth. He ran his tongue along her lower lip and kissed along her jaw until he reached her ear.

"I want to show you how much I love you. Let me love you." He whispered.

Ami's stomach turned to jelly and she could only nod as he continued to caress her. His hand slid up to gently cup her breast while the other moved to the back of her head. As he leaned forward, she felt his breath on her lips. She couldn't move she was frozen in his embrace, his strong arms holding her so gently but firmly. Their shared breaths made her chest hitch and her desire rise unbearably.

Cullen turned slightly and pressed her body to the bed beneath his. His kisses were like warm honey, making Ami shudder and melt beneath him. He smiled at the effect he was having on her and after running his hand through her hair, he cupped her jaw and kissed her cheek. He was driving her mad and he was enjoying the reaction.

She felt him begun to move lower and her breaths came faster, her desire being inflamed further by him. He kissed her everywhere, leaving moist trails behind his mouth that cooled in the evening air. She was fire and ice, burning and melting from his hands and his mouth, her want and need for him reaching boiling point.

He slid back up her body to found her mouth once more. Ami could taste herself on his tongue and mewled with delight. He filled her slowly, inch by aching inch quelling her need and Ami felt like she was floating. The arch demon could rise again and the world could end and she wouldn't even flinch; her mind was consumed by him and his touch. They were the only things that mattered, together at that moment in time their desire and need for each other resulting in panting breaths. Ami tossed her head back and closed her eyes, immersed in the feelings. Cullen cupped her jaw and pulled her head towards him while looking at her with a strange intensity. She understood his need. As they moved together, they gazed into one another's eyes. Their love was so strong and the feelings shared were almost too much to take. They found their release together; both shocked from the power of their lovemaking and the closeness they had found. Together. Forever.

Hours later they laid on the bed holding each other in the moonlight of Ami's room. Cullen gently shifted away and picked up the rings from the table before quickly returning to her side. She tilted her head and looked at him, her eyes full of happiness and anticipating. Cullen sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed and took her hand in his, he gently parted her fingers and slipped on the griffin stamped ring.

"I promise, that I will never let you come to harm. That I will treasure you and what is yours to the end of my days and beyond. I promise I will always hold you close and never push you away. You have my life in yours and I am yours to command."

Ami smiled and took the templar stamped ring and repeated the action.

"I ask. That you, ser Cullen love me as much as I love you. I ask that you will protect me as admirably as I will you from our nightmares. I ask that you do not believe me when I say I love you but that you _know_ I love you, always and forever as your friend, your lover and … wife when the time comes."

Ami smiled, she couldn't believe this was actually happening. She looked at the ring on her finger and felt its warmth as it wrapped around it. A curious thought then came to her mind.

"How did you know it would fit?"

Cullen sighed and smiled at her.

"I asked Alistair."

Ami looked up at him, shock and disbelief filled her face and he chuckled.

"You told him?"

"Not in so many words. In fact it was you that told him. He mentioned to me a few days ago that according to you I was going to become part of the family.

"Huh, that man continues to surprise me."

"You mean you didn't say anything to him?" Cullen said puzzled.

Ami shook her head.

"Huh."

"That's still doesn't answer my question though."

Cullen smiled and stroked her cheek.

"He gave me a tip. You never noticed it was gone did you?"

"What was gone?"

Cullen chuckled.

"You're Circle ring. The ring Wynne presented to you when you took up as Senior Enchanter."

Ami remembered when Wynne presented her with it. It was a simple wooden ring with the tower insignia with a silver-like metal band in the centre. She wore it for the ceremony but afterwards took it off. She wasn't one for jewellery but the ring was a symbol of her status and power within the Tower. She had it attached to her staff and never thought about it again.

"How did you …?" she stopped after realising it wasn't exactly hard. The ring was only connected to the staff by a thin leather strap.

"I'm pretty quick with my hands," he joked, "and after you were distracted trying to fend me off during our duel you never noticed I had taken it. I then had the smith make these."

Ami leaned over to him and kissed him gently.

"I love you."

"And I love you," replied Cullen as he squeezed her gently.

A few moments of comfortable silence and Ami couldn't help herself.

"So … are we going to be sharing a tent now?"

Cullen threw his head back and laughed loudly and tightened his hold around her.

"Only if my lady wishes it."

"Oh I wish it ser! I just know sooner or later you are going to realise you are in love with a mad woman!"

"You think I don't know this already? My lady I have known ever since you were small that you snore. Very loudly I might add. Oh and you drool."

Ami swatted his chest and mocked a huff before turning over away from him. Cullen just pulled her against him and nuzzled into her neck. She shivered as his lips grazed her neck and giggled.

"Cullen?"

"Mmm?"

"I love you."

"And I you. Now, go to sleep."

~v~

They were set. Oghren regardless of his drunken state had managed to organise all of the party's supplies. The travellers had gathered in the main hallway of the tower waiting for their leaders as they took their leave from the Knight-Commander, Wynne and of course River.

Cullen stood with the group of companions. He felt relaxed and hopeful about the coming journey and task ahead of him. Even if things didn't go completely to plan Alistair had assured him he would do everything he could. They were waiting for Ami and Alistair to finish talking and saying their goodbyes. He caught River's eye and she beamed at him waving frantically at him. He smiled and waved back.

River tugged at her mother's robes and asked her something. A quick flash of a smile told him she had been granted her request and she quickly bounded over to him.

"Cullen!" she shouted as she ran into his waiting arms.

He pulled her up into his chest and held her close to him. He spun around and then gently placed her back on the cold slab of the tower floor grinning at her.

"Yes my lady?"

River giggled and hugged him again. She remained in his arms and whispered into his ear.

"Be safe Da."

Cullen felt the strings of his heart catch and he tightened his grasp on the small girl. He felt her smile and kissed his cheek before running back to Leliana. He watched her trot off to the bard and he silently thanked the maker again for the gifts given to him. He looked back to Ami who had been watching, along with Wynne. He could see the happiness in her eyes but there was something else. She turned away and pulled Wynne aside.

He glanced back at the group as Alistair joined them and then back to Ami. Her whole expression had changed and she seemed to be guarded and pleading with Wynne about something. The older woman shook her head and then glared in Greagoir's direction. Cullen wasn't worried but the defeated look that Ami had across her face did worry him. He watched as she said a few more words and then stormed away from the older mage. Wynne turned and it appeared that she was going to add something else but as soon as she saw Cullen was watching she stopped and walked away. Cullen thought it curious but then he knew that Wynne would always seek to end conflict privately and so thought nothing of it. Ami walked passed him obviously flustered and he gently tugged at her arm.

"In trouble are you?"

She twitched and her expression changed from annoyance to mild panic.

"No, why?"

"It just seemed that Wynne's angry at you for something."

Ami sighed and Cullen thought it more curious that she relaxed suddenly as if expecting something else.

"No. Just the old bat talking nonsense as usual. It's nothing."

Cullen nodded and let her get the others ready to set off.

~v~

"_Why do you always go on about how stupid I am? I'm not stupid, am I?"_

"_If you need to ask the question..."_

"_Because it hurts my manly feelings, you know. All one of them."_

"_Then I'll be sure to write you an apology once all of this is over."_

"_I was educated by the Chantry. I studied history. They don't make stupid templars." _

"_Then I must have been mistaken. I'm very impressed." _

"_No you're not. You're not even listening to me." _

"_My, you are smarter than you look after all. Your Chantry must have been very proud."_

Sometimes Ami wished that it was still the Blight. At least then the arguments were at least tame and funny. Now that there wasn't a Blight and for what seemed the twentieth time on only the first day of the journey, Ami rubbed the bridge between her eyes as the arguments weighed on her.

She groaned inwardly as the fight between Morrigan and Alistair raged on. The others had been glancing at her for what seemed hours to try and quell the two warring enemies. They were all keeping their distance but the noise and venom coming from them was hard not to miss. She was tired and fed up with the childish behaviour that was going on between the two. She resided to just sit and watch for now and stare into space.

"Tell me. Are you going to stare at me for hours? Are you trying to kill me with those looks or are you actually going to tempt it?"

"Oh don't tempt me Morrigan. If only I could."

"Ha. Pity for you fool that that will be the only tempting on my part. You shall not touch me."

Cullen came into her line of vision. She looked up to him from her position and smiled.

"Are you going to do something about the kids?" he asked jokingly pointing behind him.

Ami blinked at Cullen, then at fighting duo and then back to Cullen. She sighed and shrugged.

"You're exhausted." He replied putting an arm on her shoulder. She nodded letting her head fall into her hands with a groan. He glanced behind him at the ensuing fight and huffed. "I'm not surprised with these two at your back."

He shook his head and turned back to the fighting.

"Oh really! And just what sort of mother lets her own child be taken by Chantry extremists." Alistair shot at Morrigan.

"Don't tempt me templar!" she growled.

"Try it witch, give me more reasons to run you through."

Morrigan twitched and summoned a ball of fire into her palm.

Cullen had had enough.

"ENOUGH!"

The sudden bellow from Cullen shook the two out of focus and they turned to him eyes ablaze.

"We've had enough of your bitter fighting! Shut it down or I'll put you down! We have enough problems than you two being at each others throats!"

He narrowed his eyes at both of them and turned back to Ami. She just sighed and shook her head.

"Ami is exhausted by the both of you. If you don't mind maybe you can try and be civil for _her_ sake if not your own."

"Fine! I will ignore this ignorant fool." Morrigan stormed off to the other end of the camp disappearing into the trees.

Alistair turned to Cullen.

"Are you just going to let her walk off?!"

"It's not like she's going to run off and tell them Alistair. She needs us as much as we need her! Stop being an idiot!" replied Ami bitterly.

Ami narrowed her eyes then turned and walked away grumbling under her breath. Cullen shook his head and glared at Alistair before following after her.

She had walked a little distance from the camp and was sat on a nearby log. She had rested her elbows on her thighs and leaned forward resting her head in her hands. He sat down next to her and gently put an arm around her pulling her close.

"Why in Andrastes name did I think this was a good idea Cullen?"

"Because you wanted to make sure we all got there safely and spend time with me of course!"

She smiled and turned her head into his armoured chest.

"This would be so much nicer without having the armour love."

Cullen chuckled quietly and squeezed her gently before pulling away.

"You haven't told them yet though."

She shook her head and sighed.

"I wish we could've just stayed in my room and locked the door."

"You know I was thinking the exact same thing our first time together. I wanted to keep the world on the other side of that door forever but I know you. You have a great task to do and now I'm a part of that. You don't have to do it alone anymore."

"Thank you my love. I'm glad you stepped in with Morrigan and Alistair. I'm just so tired; it's been a long day."

Cullen nodded and helped her to her feet.

"Well its time you got some rest. I'll take first watch, you can rest and I'll join you after."

Ami nodded, "I'll head to the tent but there is something I have to do first."

She walked back to camp and stood near the fire. The image was so familiar yet somehow she could only help but feel that the blight hadn't ended and the past six years were just some vivid dream. She shook her head and looked at her companions.

"I have something to tell you all and I wish it to be known than whispered about the camp."

She made sure she had all their attention before ploughing on. She looked between her friends, her family and smiled. Ami turned to Cullen and took his hand into hers.

"I want you all to know that this man has asked me a question and I have answered yes."

Ami heard a plate drop and turned to see the grinning faces of her companions. Ami couldn't see Morrigan but she knew she would be listening intently. Alistair was unnerved by the news and his four guards made no move to question the mage and Templar roles. Both Zevran and Oghren grinned like fools and then turned and clinked glasses. Artie her hound was nowhere to be seen but she knew he would know anyway.

She turned back to Cullen who smiled kindly but she could see the apprehension in his eyes. He clearly hadn't been expecting her to just come out and say it in front of everyone. Well it was done and no-one, so far, had objected.

"Well I thought I'd let you all know before someone tried to stab Cullen while he tried to climb into our tent."

Alistair coughed and now looked as though he regretted helping them. He shook his head and muttered something under his breath. Again his guards said nothing but both Zevran and Oghren burst into roars of laughter. Ami just smiled and nudged the blushing Templar at her side.

_That sparked a better reaction,_ she thought.

"Anyway. I thought we'd divide up the watches."

"There is no need Warden. We shall watch," answered one of Alistair's guards. This admission seemed to shake Alistair out of his thoughts.

"Oh yes. A good thing about being King. I have my own personal guard that extends to you too Ami." He grinned at her.

Ami smiled. "That's fine but I will set wards and glyphs out just in case too."

She turned to Cullen.

"It also means you can come straight to bed," she whispered wickedly.

Cullen shook his head and stroked her cheek.

"As my lady commands."

"I won't be long."

He nodded and headed off to their tent while she walked around the camps perimeter.

She cast a few wards and set some glyphs of paralysis just inside the perimeter. Just as she turned to walk back to the camp she felt Morrigan approach her.

"So you have decided to bow to someone and a Templar no less."

Ami looked at her and shook her head.

"I have not bowed to anyone Morrigan, nor do I intend to."

"Well I'm glad, that sharp brain of yours is not to be wasted on such fruitless endeavours."

"What do you want Morrigan?" Ami replied wearily.

"To ask a question if I may." She folded her arms and cocked her hip out.

"I suppose," she was too tired to argue with her.

"Does he make you happy?"

Ami was a bit taken aback by the question. Anyone else and she wouldn't have thought any differently but from Morrigan. The question was laced with different undertones and meaning, deciding which ones would take longer than the few seconds Ami had. She decided to act on truth.

"Yes Morrigan. He makes me very happy."

"Then I am glad for you. Good night Sister," and she began to walk away.

"Morrigan. Wait."

The witch turned and looked at her.

"Thank you."

Morrigan nodded and turned away again.

Ami waited a few moments turning over Morrigan's question before heading back to camp. There were so many things that had changed about Morrigan and it confused her. She was hurt and angry that she had returned but he was equally happy that her sister had returned and that she had 'softened' slightly.

She stopped and sighed as she reached the edge of her tent. She would think about it tomorrow, it was too late to think about it now. She smiled as she knelt and lifted the flap of the tent. She crawled in and settled to the warm opening arms of her love and soon drifted off into a blissful sleep.

~v~

Cullen shot upright in the tent. His ragged breaths made faint clouds in the cold air. He was dripping with sweat from another horrific dose of nightmares and he shook himself trying to fully steady his mind. He rested his arm on his knee and turned to the small form at his side. A sad smile played across his face as he saw the peace on hers.

_I have to tell her about these dreams_, he thinks.

A rustle outside caught his attention and the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He slowly unsheathed his sword and quietly crawls out the entrance of the tent.

The camp was still and the only noise seemed to come from the crackling of the fire. Cullen nodded to the two guards that were patrolling the perimeter but Cullen was uneasy. His most recent nightmare had unnerved him and he went to Zevran's tent.

"Zev. Zev are you awake?"

He heard a slight shuffle and grunt before the antivan popped his head out.

"So your lady has already decided to send you to me. Well I must say I am surprised but no doubt she is fiery."

"Zev." Cullen replied, narrowing his eyes at the elf.

"Fine fine. At least let me have a little fun friend it is late no. What is bothering you friend?"

"Something isn't right. I can feel it. Can you check out the camp for me?"

The elf looked at him with a furrowed brow and nodded. He disappeared back into his tent and a few moments later Cullen felt the familiar brush of the cloaked assassin pass him. He wasn't sure what it was that bothered him but he didn't want to be unprepared and having Zevran check things out was the best idea.

Cullen set off to the edge of the perimeter. He wanted a report but before he got close enough he felt the bitter taste of blood magic at the back of his throat. He quickly spun around and made for his tent, muttering a chant as he went. Before he reached the canvas he sensed the mage behind him and turned.

"The Children of the Flame send their regards infidel!"

Cullen only had enough time to jump out of the way as the mage cast a fireball at him. He rolled to the side as it exploded ripping through the tent behind him.

"AMI!"

He looked back at the grinning mage and plunged his hands into the ground dispelling and paralysing him there. He grabbed his dropped sword and launched at him cutting his head clean off. He turned and ran back to the blazing tent and fell to his knees steps from the blaze. Tears began to mar his face and he roared into the night.

"She's alive you fool! Get up and help us!"

Cullen turned to see Morrigan weaving spells nearby as she fought with another mage. Close to her he could see Ami and his heart rejoiced. She was fighting with one of Alistair's guards, the same guard that said they would stand watch. Anger burned within Cullen and he took off again.

Without armour Cullen moved with even more grace and speed to reach the two mages. He cut down Morrigan's appointed and she took her leave to help the others. Cullen was about to help Ami as a rouge uncloaked and took a slash at his leg. He dropped at the sudden pain but parried the next attack. Ami was fine for the moment but he had to deal with this dancing fiend before he could help her. He pushed back the rouge as he tried to confuse him with his quick duel-weapon techniques; Cullen parried and turned to avoid each blow. His opponent was talented with the two blades but Cullen was far faster out of armour and quickly over powered the rogue knocking him unconscious as Cullen caught him from behind. He used the handle of his sword to knock him out and quickly pulled him away stringing him up against a tree and removing what weapons he could find. They would want to talk to one of them afterwards. He quickly ran back to Ami who had finally defeated her rival. She was sat, panting and only wearing a thin night shirt she shivered in the cold night air.

Cullen felt his blood run cold and he began running up to her. She looked up and smiled at him but didn't notice the figure behind her. Cullen was to far away, he wouldn't make it in time.

"Ami behind you!"

She turned and saw the other guard had appeared behind her wielding a knife. Cullen saw her eyes widen as she tried to move but she wouldn't be quick enough. There was shouting and yelling and then suddenly there was silence. Ami jumped away as a blade appeared in the chest of the guard and he jerked away looking bewildered at the dagger point in his chest. He looked at Ami and then slowly dropped the knife before falling to the ground in a heap.

Cullen sighed with relief as Zevran came out from the shadows and pulled out his dagger. Cullen could kiss the elf if he hadn't been lost in his train of thought. The battle had disturbed him and he clenched his hands. What was happening to him?

"Cullen," Ami looked at him. "Are you alright."

He vigorously shook his head and she came to him.

"Ami. I dreamed about this."

"What a strange thing to dream about. I know I sometimes dream of darkspawn but it comes with the job."

She smiled and reached out to him. Cullen grasped her arms tightly and shook his head again.

"_No Ami_," he said through gritted teeth. "You don't understand. I dreamt this. I saw this happen before it happened. But I dreamed you died instead!"

* * *

Right i have some MAJOR thanks to shout out. My Humble and greatest thanks to Wolfe's Princess without her there would be no smuttiness between Ami and Cullen. The bulk of that is mainly her work with a few changes and additions of my own. You are a legend my friend because I suck at writing smut so i give credit to where credit is most definatly due my friend. Please also check out her own FF It's Called Cookies n' Cream and is a StenXCousland pairing it is awesom! It's her first published FF so please R&R. Also to zenrau who i took inspiration from for some dialogue and i also give credit to where credit is due.

I hope you all enjoyed Cullen's little surprise there at the beginning. I had so much fun writing this chapter.

The next chapter is going to be a fun chapter, dreams scary Cullen dreams are going no doubt going to freak Ami out a bit. The party arrives at the Peak where the Wardens will no doubt have lots of questions about everything. From her research to River to this new threat to Ferelden. More information secrets will be revealed but i hope you have enjoyed this new update.

mousemage


	15. Of Dreams and Ale

15. Of Dreams and Ale

"What do you mean you dreamt that I died?"

Cullen pulled her away a short distance and shook his head.

"I wanted to tell you about them. My dreams. Lately they've been really strange a-and well… some have been really horrific. I had one before I woke up a little while ago. I dreamed you were fighting someone, that afterwards you were sat down panting in what you're wearing now. You seemed fine until all of a sudden bang! A dagger was shoved through you by someone behind you."

"Cullen that doesn't make any sense!" Ami said shaking her head.

"I know but when I saw him there about to stab you I couldn't help but think it was dream. It's as though in it I wasn't even here, that I was just watching."

"But you were here. Zev got to him." She pointed in the elf's direction.

"Yes he was, but only _after_ I had asked him to check the place out. If I hadn't asked him to, do you really think you would still be here?!"

Ami shook her head and groaned.

"What does it mean?" she said to herself.

"How should I know? But I'll tell you one thing I'm telling you about them now!"

They stood in silence for a few moments until Cullen couldn't bear it any longer.

"What is it Ami?"

"I need to think," she pulled herself away from him and walked away. She didn't even glance up at him as her mind was bombarded with a haze of conflicting thoughts and emotions.

Cullen was having dreams, dreams that had some glimpse of the future or something like that. _Was that even possible? What in Andraste's name did it mean?_ She had had strange dreams once she had become a warden but they were warden dreams they were expected. She walked to the remains of the fire and scanned the campsite for her companions.

"Is everyone alright?"

"If by alright you mean alive and well then yes, almost," replied a croaky Alistair.

She saw Oghren being taken care of by Morrigan. Zevran stood nearby checking that the four rogues and three mages were dead. The fifth was still attached to the tree that Cullen had tied him too. Alistair had returned to talking to the remaining guard who seemed about to crumble in shock. Ami took it by Alistair's expression that this particular guard was loyal and had been unaware of the others deception. The final guard lay on the ground nearby, his throat cut. Ami felt herself shiver. What was going on? Was the world going mad again? Was she going to have to stop another wave of madness from consuming them from within? She couldn't breathe she needed air, space; she needed to be alone and away from the chatter, everything and everyone.

She took off into the nearby woods. Solitude was what she needed. She wanted to be away from _him_, away from his admission. Alone she could think for herself but her mind took off with ill thoughts as she stumbled through the trees. She was better off alone, away from everything, everyone, they would only be hurt by her and her power. She felt Artie come behind her and she shooed him away. The hound refused and followed regardless.

"Leave hound."

Artie whimpered but continued to follow.

"Artie leave!"

He pulled at her shirt until she turned and scolded him.

"What! What do you want?"

The hound continued to whine at her aware of her fear and angst over Cullen's dreams. She heard snapping of branches as Cullen himself came into view.

"He doesn't want to leave you alone and funnily enough neither do I," he remarked sternly.

"Humph!" she frowned. Ami snatched her shirt from the hound's mouth and turned away.

"Ami!" he called out.

"What Cullen?!"

He was stunned by her sudden coldness but pressed on to catch up to her.

"What are you doing?" he said gently.

"I don't know Cullen!" she replied ignoring him as she walked deeper into the forest.

"Why are you running away from me?"

"I don't know Cullen!" which was true, she didn't know why really.

He gently grabbed her wrist and stopped her. Ami tensed in his hold and tried to pull away but he refused to let go. He could see and feel her shaking. Even in the cold air he could tell it wasn't the temperature that caused her to tremble, it was fear.

"Ami, it's alright I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

He felt her hand reach around to his and grasp his tightly. He just stood and waited for her. Her trembling became violent but then slowly subsided as she let the fear and anger drain out of her through silent tears. He winced as he felt her nails dig into his wrist but he ignored it, she needed him to be strong. Cullen slowly pulled her towards him and held her whispering soothing words into her ear.

"It's alright. I'm scared too."

She gripped onto the back of his shirt and breathed him in deeply. His smell, so unique and reassuring it was there, telling her that she wasn't alone, that he was here comforting her and sharing her fear. She mentally chide herself for thinking that he might have lied to her about them. He hadn't known and when he had figured it out he had told her. He was just as afraid as she was at the implications of his dreams. She would need to know about them and after a few moments of collecting herself she asked.

"Will you tell me about them now?"

"Yes my love. I will. But I think it's best if I tell you once we reach the Peak. We're both too tired and scared to handle it now."

She nodded, he was right they were in no right mind to talk about it and make sense of it all now. Artie whined and thrust his head into her hand; she smiled down at the hound.

"I'm sorry Artie and … I'm sorry Cullen."

"Whatever for? Being scared? Don't be I'm scared stiff, up until now I just thought these were horrible nightmares."

"How did I end up so lucky?" Ami asked, placing her head on his chest.

"My lady I am the lucky one," he chuckled. "Come on, let's get back."

Ami nodded and let him lead her back to the camp.

~v~

"Ami!" greeted Jowan.

"Jowan. How are things in the Peak?"

"Straight to business? Is something wrong?" Jowan frowned at her.

Ami moved and greeted Jowan with a tight hug. He was slightly surprised but returned the hug. As they broke Ami let Cullen take her pack as he and the rest of the group followed into the Peak's main entrance. Jowan nodded to Cullen as he passed him but visibly shrank back when Alistair narrowed his eyes at him. Ami grinned at her old friend, Alistair still didn't fully trust him after all these years and Jowan, even with the protection of being a warden, couldn't help but think the man would one day send the templar's after him.

"Yes well being attacked by Chantry extremists tends to leave me itching for a fight," Ami replied smiling.

"Extremists you say. I take it you want to get word to Markus, lucky for you he's here."

Ami's eyes widened.

"He's here? Why? Is there something wrong at the Vigil?"

"No, nothings wrong as far as I know. I think he wanted to meet a few of the new recruits we've found." Jowan reassured her.

Ami's mind ticked over. First Morrigan's abduction then Asha's capture now an attack on the road? Now Markus was here. She had to talk to him, now.

"Where is Markus?"

"He's out with a few hunters getting some game for the evening. He'll be back when they catch something." He smiled knowingly.

Ami snorted and grimaced.

"Which knowing Markus will be never, unless Ross it with them."

"Lucky for us he is. Ami your all exhausted take some time please." Jowan chuckled.

Ami sighed and shook her head.

"I suppose we'll just rest and wait for the big loon then."

"Ah well I'm glad you're here actually. Avernus was asking to send you word about the research. He's found something you might find interesting."

Ami nodded.

"Good. After we've rested I'll meet him."

She placed a hand on Jowan shoulder and motioned for him to lead the way.

"I'll let you all get settled and come find you in a few hours." With a nod and a gentle squeeze of Ami's hand Jowan left them to relax after their journey.

Ami walked up the main stairs and followed the sounds of her companions as they walked to the chambers. She was dead tired and even with the last two quiet days of travelling she couldn't shake the uneasy feeling she had. Cullen was going to tell her about the other dreams he had once they had settled into the fortress. She had been very quiet since the night of the attack and it hadn't gone unnoticed. It wasn't as if she was deliberately trying to push him away she just didn't want to admit to herself that she was scared. Scared of losing him, losing what they had and being left alone all over again the list of her fears were almost endless. She was scared what the dreams could mean. She was even more terrified of the fact that Cullen had mentioned that he hadn't felt part of the dream at all, that he was just an observer unable to do anything at least in the last dream. She was snapped back to reality by a large gloved hand was waving in front of her.

"Hello! Amilia! Are you going to join the land of the living?" joked Alistair.

She shook her head and smiled at him.

"You've barely said anything since the attack. Are you alright?" he nodded.

"Not really but I will be."

Alistair tutted. "Of course you'll be alright. It's you."

Ami shook her head and smiled at him.

"It's just a certain Templar is worried about you since you seem to be ignoring him. He's worried Ami and if he's worried it means I am."

"Cullen just told me some disturbing things Ali. I need to talk to him but its … well it could have some really horrible meanings and well … I'm scared."

Alistair's face darkened and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"He … hasn't hurt you or anything?"

Ami resisted the urge to slap him right there and then. _Stupid idiot of a man!_

"Ali no! Don't you dare even say such a thing!" her rage at his words came out clear as day in her tone of voice. He took a step back from her expecting to be rebuked for it.

"Sorry. I'm sorry Ami. It's just when you said he told you something that it might have horrible meaning and you were scared. I'm sorry I … Maker I'm an idiot for thinking that." He shook his head and nervously ran a hand through his hair.

"Yes. Yes you are." She growled back.

Ami walked away, her hands clenching the dancing lightning between her fingers. _How dare he even think such a thing!_ She heard him shout after her but he could wait, she was in no mood for his apology now. She went to the room at the end of the hall she usually used and slammed the door behind her with a boom for effect. _If he didn't know I was angry with him he did now_, she thought.

_Ungrateful, egotistical, nug humping, good for nothing asswipe! How dare he think Cullen would hurt me intentionally! Bastard! It's not like I've enough problems without his Maker dammed pity! Now he's going to think … oh maker! _She growled and clenched her hands together. _I don't need sympathy I need a plan! I don't need someone to hold my hand I need brains and ideas neither of which you, Alistair, have at the moment. I'm strong I know that but still they treat me like a fragile flower! What killing the arch demon with my own staff not good enough for them? _

"Ugh! Men! Maker take them all!" shouted Ami and she kicked the stool of the vanity over, the angle of attack was not a good one and...

_Crack!_

Ami shut her eyes. _Oh for the love of the Maker! _

She held her foot still in mid-air but she knew she had done something. She gently lowered it, balancing heavily on her other foot and tried putting a little pressure on it. The sensation of her foot meeting the floor ending in tears. The toe or toes were broken.

"Andrastes flaming knickers!" she snarled.

Ami hopped over and sat on the end of the bed cursing everything from the Maker to nugs.

"Of all the things to do! Am I not mad enough as it is that I have to go and break my own bones! Ugh!"

She fumbled with the laces of her leather boots and gently teased them off. Several obscenities later she had managed to peel the sock off too when there was a knock at the door.

"If it's you Alistair you can shove it! I'm in no mood for you."

Another knock.

"Oh for the love of Andraste, _go away_ Alistair!"

Another knock and Ami rose slowly off the bed. _Alistair if it's you I'll break your nose and I'll enjoy it and won't be sorry for it_, she thought to herself.

"Who is it?!" she barked out.

"It's Cullen."

Her shoulders slumped and she let out a long breath and she hopped over to the door and opened it. Blowing a strand of hair out of her face she peaked out to see him standing there. His arms folded and he looked at her with a bemused expression, his head tilted to the side.

"Do I want to know why you thought I was Alistair?"

"No you don't. Unless. Well never mind about it now. What do you want?"

Cullen snapped his head back and dropped his arms to his side. He was about to say something when she giggled and pulled him into the room, hopping away from the door. Cullen shook his head as she balanced on one foot and helped her to the bed.

"What the hell have you done to yourself woman?"

"Alistair. Alistair is what happened the nug humper! Ugh! I swear I will one day kill that man. I pray you will never make me angry enough to break my toes." Ami winched as she lay back on the bed.

"Let me have a look at it." Cullen replied following behind her, sitting at the end of the bed.

"No it's fine. I'll have the medics look at it later."

"No, if it's broken it needs fixed now. Let me look at it!" Cullen's hands were reaching for her foot by this stage.

"Fine!" Ami barked back and stuck the foot in his face and laid her head back on the bed.

A few moments of prodding and pain and it was decided that the toe was in fact broken and dislocated. Ami groaned and cursed Alistair. She looked at Cullen and smiled as the rubbing motions of his hands soothed her aching ankle.

"So, how did Alistair manage to break your toe?"

"He said something to me which I should kill him for saying but I didn't. I took it out on the stool." Ami replied pointing aimlessly at the overturned stool in the corner.

"Ah. What did he say?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." she said putting the pillow over her face.

"Like you'd rather we not talk about the dreams? That kind of bad huh?"

Ami sighed and closed her eyes. She could feel his concern for her and the uncertainty over their future in his voice.

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it Cullen. Well I don't, but it's the fact that I'm scared at what it could mean."

"You don't think I know that. Maker woman, I'm worried sick about it. I'm worried that I won't be able to wake up to the most beautiful woman in Ferelden again. And I really, really like doing that."

"Only Ferelden?" she replied, moving the pillow from her face and pouting her lip.

Cullen blushed and continued rubbing her foot. The sensation was both relaxing and comforting at the same time. She closed her eyes and settled her head into the pillow.

"To be fair I have travelled and I would compare your beauty to all of Thedas but I think the Maker would have something to say about that." Cullen raised an eyebrow at her as he grinned. He gently covered his hands over her toe.

_Crack!_

Ami shot up from the bed and hissed, her hand gripping the sheets of the bed as she felt the shooting searing pain of the bone clip back into place. Cullen's hand then began rubbing her ankle and calf again, trying to dull the pain or relax her, in either way he was succeeding. She breathed in deeply as slowly the pain began to ebb away. She quietly summoned some healing magic and gently placed her hand over her foot, feeling the warm magic course through her limb re-knitting the bone and calming the swelling. Cullen brushed his hand over her knee then bent and kissed it.

"The first dream I had involved both of us. We were standing in a field surrounded by candles or torches and it somehow felt as though we were dancing. It was pleasant and I loved the dream until it changed. I wasn't with you after that. You were alone and on some sort of battlefield again it looked at though you were about to die but then it changed again."

His voice was quiet and the hurt he felt in telling her the dreams was etched on his face. She could tell she wasn't going to like the next part.

"You were in a dungeon of some sorts. You were in some sort of trance and you didn't see us."

"Us?" Ami said, tilting her head, _someone else was with him?_

"Oh yeah River was there but she was older, at least seventeen maybe eighteen years old."

Ami's brow furrowed and she frowned at Cullen.

"You weren't _there_ Ami. Completely under someone's control. River took off but I tried to stay and wake you but you didn't so I left and followed after her. About half way down the corridor you screamed and I ran back. You weren't alone this time, someone was with you. They stuck a knife in your scar and this time you were completely lucid shouting out at them like some mad woman talking about blood, your blood. I was so happy you were there that I never noticed whoever had stabbed you leave and that's the dreams that I've been having. Well except the one while we were travelling and look how that turned out."

Ami stared at him a few moments longer. His eyes never wanting to meet her gaze and she took it as him feeling ashamed. She couldn't blame him for not wanting to tell her, his dreams were really, disturbing and she knew he wouldn't have wanted her to worry.

"How's your foot?" Cullen asked obviously wanting to move onto something else.

"Better. Thank you Cullen. Thank you for telling me."

He shook his head. "I knew I should have told you from the beginning. When the tent exploded I thought … well I … I thought I lost you. Where did you go?"

"I woke up after finding myself cold _and_ alone I might add." She smiled wickedly at him. "So I went looking for you. I bumped into Morrigan after that and well the rest you know."

"I was never so relieved to see you after that. Then when the guard came behind you …" his voice trailed off into nothing and he dropped his head again.

Ami slowly pulled her feet away from him and moved herself so she was facing him. She gently tugged his chin upwards so that he looked into her eyes.

"I was happy to see you safe too and I'm glad you had Zev check out camp."

She smiled and kissed him gently on the lips and ran her fingers through his hair. He growled low in his throat and held her tightly. She gently pushed him back and smiled.

"As much as I love you we both need a bath and rest before I see Markus. We can pick things up later. Ok?"

Cullen nodded and brushed her cheek with a sweet soft kiss. Slowly he moved off the bed and turned to the nearby bath and taking the bucket set off to find some water. Ami couldn't wait to be clean again.

~v~

"Warden! Glad you came to join us finally. Has that Templar of yours had you strapped to the bed for the past few hours?"

"Ha. Very funny Zev. Actually I broke my toe and Cullen was very kind to help me with it."

She stuck out her now booted foot and winched as she walked towards him.

"How on earth did you manage that?" he asked raising an eyebrow at her and Cullen, "Some new technique?"

Cullen's spluttering induced the reaction that Zev had set out for and the elf chuckled.

"No then."

Ami shook her head and laughed gently.

"I think you should ask Alistair that question. Maker knows he made me angry enough to self inflict it."

"Tsk tsk. You should know better my dear," remarked Zevran shaking his head at her.

"Well I do now and I think I need a few drinks in consolidation for my stubbornness."

"Ah good. I wondered if we would sit and mellow before seeing to our new friend."

Ami nodded. They hadn't yet interrogated the rogue that survived the attack on the road. There would be time for that later, now they had settled it was time to relax from the journey and catch up with her wardens. She missed them when she returned to the tower but such was her duty and life these past years. She saw the few wardens that had joined them in the great hall of the Peak and smiled as they stood, biding her welcome. She shook her head as the newest members tried to bow to her. She recognised them all. From the left end of the long table to the right she knew them all by name and each of their abilities and character on the battlefield.

Jowan was the first among her recruits to the order. His acts of idiocy had granted him a death sentence but his willingness to take on the consequences softened Ami. She wanted nothing but to give him a chance to redeem himself. It had taken time and a lot of negotiating but Ami had gained his freedom without instigating the right of conscription. After all the trials of training him and teaching him all she knew she could see her old friend find himself again. He was the first new Ferelden warden and the second command of Ami's wardens. Markus was the true leader but only because she had deferred the role to remain at the Circle for as much as she could. His role saw him spend the majority of the time at the Vigil in Amaranthain dealing with both Wardens and local politics. Ami didn't envy him. She had her wardens and she was glad of it. She looked at them and smiled broadly like a proud parent.

Tork was at the end of the table. The castless-surface dwarf and rogue skilled best in traps and animals and his ranger skills had proved most useful during their missions in the Brecillian Forest. Daniel a warden originally from the Anderfelds and his twin blades skilled best in duelling he was the oldest most experienced warden. Shane and Simon the twins, both of which were shield and sword trained but their fighting style and coordination on the battlefield along with their mischievous nature won Ami over the moment she met them. Emisa, the only other female warden, was an elf from the alienage in Denerim. She was a formidable opponent and not just because of her impressive blade but how such a small petite figure could wield such a huge great sword.

Then there were their two newest recruits, Laren a young man from the Dales and Cain from the Bannorn. Laren was smart beyond his years but reminded Ami of a younger Alistair when they met, funny and unsure of himself but it was his character that shone through. He wasn't the best duel fighter with his blades but he had a determination about him that Ami couldn't help but admire. Cain was a different matter. He was much like Zevran he was tall and handsome and knew it. When Ami had first met him, it was in saving his rather barley covered hind from being cleaved in two by a merchant. He was the joker along with the twins and the one who she valued most as a friend after Zev. His skills lay in scouting and recognisance, which now had focused on running the messages between the Vigil and the Peak.

"We are family and comrades friends. You need not bow to me I am your sister."

"Sorry Commander but you are more than our Sister. You are the hero of Ferelden all of us owe you our lives. So no. You will never just be sister to us." Cain stood and grinned shaking his head.

"Thanks Cain, but I won't have it," she smiled. "Now who's up to tackle Oghren?"

A hearty cheer rose from the tables. The drumming of the goblets banging on the edges of the table were enough to set the pace for the drinking session. Ami sat between Cullen and Morrigan while Zevran retook his seat next to Oghren.

"Shall we have a game?" offered Cullen.

"What, pray tell me is the point in this game?" queried Morrigan. Her distaste for the nearby wardens apparent in her gaze to Ami and she smiled to herself.

"The point dear Morrigan is to get drunk. Please you might find one of these gentlemen to your liking." Zev pointed to the numerous wardens.

Morrigan snorted. "Of that I highly doubt."

"What you doubt our ability to seduce you my dear lady witch?" piped up Cain, an eyebrow raised questionably. He inched forward in his chair and offered her his goblet.

"I do not doubt your ability just its rate of success." Turning her nose up at his offer and folding her arms.

"Oh I think I'm going to like you my dear. Very much," Cain grinned widely. "Very much indeed." He took his goblet and drained it smiling at her through half hooded eyes.

"I think Morrigan has made a friend already? Don't you agree?" whispered Cullen.

Ami stifled a giggle but couldn't keep her face from scrunching up. She put her hand over her face to hide it but it was too late.

"Fine! If it will please you sister I will partake in this farce! Hand me a glass fool."

"Sister is it? Now that is interesting," smirked Cain.

"Oh and now the fun does begin," muttered Zevran.

Several flagons of ale later the majority of the wardens were passed out. Ami, Zevran, Oghren, Tork, Cain and Morrigan were the most lucid out of the rest. The dwarfs were in deep conversation as were Zev and Ami and to Ami's surprise throughout the night Morrigan had slowly began to warm up to Cain's charms. It was a recipe for disaster but she had never thought Morrigan to drink but drink she did. Alistair had joined them but had retired to his chambers after Morrigan had bet him at a drinking game. They kept things civil but Ami could tell he found her presence taxing. Markus had returned but finding them all in different levels of inebriation had said they would speak in the morning. Her Cullen was smashed, completely and utterly smashed and Ami couldn't help but giggle at him.

"My dear your poor Templar is guttered."

"Yes I believe he is Zev. But isn't it a funny sight."

"Ah yes but I will warn you, you must keep him away from me. I may try and steal that enticing man of yours."

"Again with the stealing of my men Zev? First Alistair now Cullen. You shall leave my fiancé alone or you will have to rethink that oath of yours."

Zevran lowered his voice so only she could hear him.

"I would but I find I must point out that your young recruit over there is dangerously becoming the thrall of one witch of the wilds."

Ami followed his pointed finger and looked over to the two figures engorging each other at the other side. Morrigan was sitting quite happily on Cain's lap, tongue down his throat and hands travelling. Ami shook her head and shivered it was something she did not want to see. She mentally wished she had an acid flask to burn the image out of her mind but knew it would forever be burned into her thoughts. She felt physically sick at the sight and so intervened.

"People! If you are going to treat us to a show then warn us! Otherwise take it elsewhere!"

Her raise in voice and pointed order shook the recruit out of the devouring stance he was in.

"Commander?! I-I …" Cain stammered, pulling Morrigan's face away from his own.

"Forgot I was here?" Ami smiled.

Cain blushed and shrugged, "Yes Ma'am."

"Now I am bored," muttered Morrigan. She slipped off his lap and walked unsteadily off to her chambers leaving Cain there surprised and put out.

Ami threw her head back and laughed heartedly. The witch was drunk and Cain was well, sober enough. Morrigan was unlikely to remember the events but Ami would defiantly use it to her advantage and she knew Cain would to even if the outcome of the evening had come to his expense. He would no doubt torture the witch with the fact that he had almost seduced her up until the point of Ami's intervention.

"What? … What's going on? … _hic_ …" Cullen said raising his head and looking at her through sleepy eyes. Her laughter had startled him to rouse from his drunken sleep and she couldn't help but laugh again. He tried to stand but he slowly slid off the chair meeting the floor with a clang. Ami giggled again and Zev just shook his head and grinned.

"With that I think it is time we retired my love."

She slowly hoisted the drunken templar up and settled him into a steady slow walking pace back to their chambers. She bid her fellows goodnight and headed them off. Leaning on her as they walked towards their chambers Cullen's mind starting wandering and he babbled away much to Ami's delight and amusement.

"How are you not drunk?" he asked swinging his head at her.

"Because I learned a long time ago my dear, that healing magic can be used for a variety of other applications than just healing." She answered truthfully.

"So … you cheated?" he slurred.

"Yes Cullen I cheated in the game."

"I can't believe you cheated. That's just … well … mean and … evil." He began swinging his arms wildly as he spoke.

Ami laughed. "How exactly is that evil Cullen?"

"Well …" he scratched the back of his neck and pouted, "it's unfair, you have an advantage over your drinking opponent… that's not very 'hero-like'."

"That's not exactly evil though Cullen and who says heroes have to be good all the time?"

"Well I think so. You had me drink all those glasses for doing things …_hic_ … or was it not doing things? I forget the point of the game after a few …_hic_ … glasses."

Ami laughed again but quietly. She didn't want to wake anymore of the Peaks residence because of their drunken antics. She pulled Cullen along the corridor and as they neared their floor he stopped and looked at her mischievously.

"Race you?"

Ami cocked him an eyebrow and a slow grin emerged. Cullen quickly took off in a run but Ami was faster. She quickly cast a paralyse spell and ran past him sticking out her tongue as she ran ahead. He shook his head and quickly broke the spell before taking off after her.

Joy, wonder and freedom flowed through Ami. This is what it was like to have liberty. She sighed as she and Cullen tumbled into bed. She was glad of the evenings revelry, she desperately needed it and being there with Cullen, even if he was passed out, reinforced how glad and happy she actual was that they had decided to take the risk. She would welcome sleep tonight and the worries of tomorrow would be dealt with tomorrow, not tonight.

~v~

"What do you mean you failed?"

The dark haired man glowered at the kneeling rogue below him. He sneered at the young girl as she shook from fear at bringing the news that the party of mages and assassins he and his order had sent were massacred, all but her and a captured brother.

"Someone sensed us. An assassin was among them; he knew our ways and alerted them."

He sneered at that. _No mere assassin would have sensed them, not with the power he had given them. No it must have been something else. It was not possible._

"Were there templars?"

The girl blinked and nodded slowly.

"How many?"

"Well the King was there as we knew but there was another. A tall one, a few years older than the King with red hair, he took down Aneth but he wasn't the normal templar."

_Ah_, he thinks. _So there is another. Interesting._ He looked back at the cowering girl and smiled.

"Explain different? What of the child? Was she travelling with them?"

"He shared a tent with the Warden mage; he was plain clothed and it seemed they are involved as it were. As for the child, she wasn't with them."

"So she remains at the Tower of Magi."

"Yes my lord. Along with the rogue bard."

"What of our little one?"

"She is still the same. There has been no change of yet."

He frowned and dismissed her, watching her sulk off into the darkness. So the templar and the mage were involved as he suspected. The mage had surprised him however; she was not as timid and quick to act as he had thought. He smiled and gripped his staff. Perhaps it was time they moved their plans forward, before the templar became aware of the true nature of his dreams.

The order would not stand for their heresy against the maker for much longer.

"Erin."

A small older man approached him bowing his head.

"Call the elders. I think it is time we met this mage face to face. Let us see and test her resolve."

"As you wish master Zaphron."

Zaphron sat back into this chair and he looked at the report from his lackeys in the dungeon. He smiled sickly.

_Soon my little one. Soon. You shall meet your sister and our plans will finally begin to come to fruition. _

* * *

*Dramatic music* Da dara daaaaa! Yes Evil chantry fiends! lol

Here is the new update i hope you have all enjoyed and im sorry for the slow update this chapter gave me a lot of grief. Plus life got in the way a little so my aplogise.

Anyways shout out to Wolfe's Princess and all you guys who read and review the story i really, really appreciate the feedback and comments you guys keep me grounded and tell me if i'm keeping the story true or not. Oh also shout out to Erynnar and her story Soulmates you are an inspiration friend and you are awesom in your encouraging comments. Also thanks for people who have added the story to their favs/alerts etc.

Finally got to add in the new Wardens and Jowan *yay* plus the chantry evil fiends! *booo*. So Cullen's dreams are definatly not what they seem to be. Zaphron seems to know more about them and there is more yet to be revealed. I will get around to the meeting with Asha, i am sorry its taking so long but i want to get the plot right and not miss anything.

The next chapter is going to mainly include Ami and Avernus taking about the taint and also Cullen talking to Avernus too. There will also be another Chantry fiend moment and also the interrogation of the prisoner. I think Zev's techniques will come in very handy for that part. Also i'll try and put some more of Morrigan and Cain in it too lol.

Mousemage


	16. Of Their Blood

16. Of Their Blood

Cullen groaned as the light poured in through the gaps in the shutters. He remembered the majority of last night, before _and_ after the ale. He smiled as he remembered tumbling into bed with Ami, after racing back from the dinning hall. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around. Their room was sparsely furnished, comfortable but it lacked personality. It was dominated by the large bed with a large armoire in one corner while in another there was a partitioned off area for washing. Next to the steel tub was a very large window with a window seat that looked out to the valley below. He let out a pained groan again as he felt the effects of the dwarven brew on his temples and rubbed the bridge of his nose. It was then he felt the rumble of the chuckling figure behind him and slowly rolled over to face her.

"Regretting the ale now?" Ami asked, her head propped up by her hand.

"Ugh!" Cullen moaned deeply, closing his eyes. "It feels like a dwarf is digging in my head."

Ami chuckled and kissed his forehead.

"I did warn you," she said into his ear.

"No you didn't. I in fact warned you, but I forgot you had over a year travelling with the drunkest dwarf in Thedas. Ugh!"

Cullen pulled a pillow over his head as Ami continued to giggle. The noise was deafening to him even though he knew it wasn't at all loud. He felt the heavier pounding of the dwarf that was now digging his way through his mind. It was going to be a sluggish and head crushing day.

"Please … sshh. Not so loud. Some of us didn't _cheat_ and have to deal with the consequences." He mumbled through the pillow. He waved a hand at her and felt her catch it taking it in her soft palm.

"Alright ser Knight here, I shall ease your pain in repayment for my discretion." She squeezed his hand and rose to straddle him.

"You can do that?" Cullen replied, quickly turning the pillow over. He grinned at the sight of her above him, her hands placed gently on his chest. She looked so beautiful in the morning light in her thin, white chimise.

"Yes now lay back and I'll ease the headache and I'll get you some food to settle your stomach." She smiled that brilliant smile he loved.

"But my stomach feels … oh …" a wave of nausea then hit Cullen. He rolled his eyes back and groaned again at the evil effects of the brew. _I'm never drinking again_.

"Yes that. Sit still and it'll only take a few moments." Ami said smiling.

Ami called forth a blue ball of energy and placed her hands on either side of Cullen's head. She listened as he sighed as the pain from his head eased and then slowly shifted her hands to his stomach settling his waves of nausea. He opened his green eyes and smiled at her and taking her hands in his kissed her knuckles.

"Thank you my lady you are too kind."

"Well ser Knight I did promise to take care of you."

He chuckled, nodded then pulled her ontop of him, kissing her affectionately. She mewled against him but he knew she had a lot to do today and gently let her go. He playfully slapped her hip and watched her tantalising figure slip off the bed and walk to the wash basin.

~v~

Ami found the old mage in his laboratory. The walls and floors had been scrubbed countless times since the first time Ami was there but the memory of the hanging 'test-subjects' still ran a shiver up her spine. Jowan followed behind her and was closely followed by Cullen. Even if Avernus had swore never to test on people Ami still wanted to be sure. Better having a mage watch him that could recognise the signs than one of the other wardens. At least Jowan had the ability to defend himself against Avernus unlike the others. The stench of the lab was overwhelming and Ami noted the vials and bottles of different liquids along the left wall. Along the right were different cages, thankfully small animal cages and though the idea of it made her grin in disgust it was better than a person being caged. The old man was busy scribbling in a book in front of a large piece of equipment with his back towards her as she approached.

"Avernus," Ami greeted the older mage.

"Ah Commander Amilia. I'm glad that foolish boy has finally sent for you." He turned and bowed at her.

Ami grinned at Jowan who had screwed his face up in disgust at the old mage. It was if he had been like the old days where he had been scolded by one of the enchanters for refusing to return his work. Ami turned to the older mage and sighed.

"I came for other reasons though I am glad you have news for me."

"Ah well no doubt they are pressing matters but I have very interesting results for you. It seems I may have found some degree of a cure for the taint."

Ami stepped forward and she felt her heart about to leap out of her chest. She could kiss the man if she wasn't so repulsed by his him.

"Tell me Avernus."

"As you know I attained some of the ashes of Andraste from one of the pilgrims. It was a small amount so I used it sparingly in my research but I found key elements in the ash that pointed to a filtration process."

"Filtration process?" Ami was no healer or biologist, she didn't understand much of the details but she was a quick learner. Through her years of research she, with the help of both Wynne and Avernus, had found evidence of teas and herbal magic that helped prolong the Warden life span by a number of years but it still hadn't brought her closer to a cure.

"Think of it as a sieve Ami. Avernus has figured out that using the commonly found properties within the ashes he has found a way of filtering the taint slowly out of the blood." Jowan clarified.

"Are these properties that common?" Ami's heart leaped another step, _could it really be that simple?_

"Yes, well except one."

"And it is?" she sighed. _Thought not_.

"It is the blood of a child Ami, an innocent, and the younger the better."

Her blood ran cold. The life of the wardens depended on the life of an innocent. How could that be? How could fate be so cruel? She turned to Avernus. He had said it so unemotionally, so sterile like it meant nothing to him. Rage began to build in her stomach and her shoulders tensed. How dare he use the blood of an innocent child to fuel his research!

"How dare you!" she spat. "After you swore to never use your vile methods to further your research!"

"Calm down Ami it's not what you think!" Jowan interjected.

"Not what I think! This man has killed a child Jowan! A child!" she screamed at him. Behind her she hears the unsheathing of a sword as Cullen moved closer behind her. Jowan quickly pleaded with her. She felt the familiar tingling sensation running between her finger tips as she stared at the mage in horror.

"No no he hasn't. Ami listen, please for the love of the Maker listen to me."

"I have not killed anyone Commander," answered Avernus quietly. "One of the Dryden brats' snuck in here and cut himself on one of the blades. His blood spilled onto some of my research and that is how I know what I know. You may ask the boy himself if you do not believe me."

Ami narrowed her eyes at the old man and shook her head. He disgusted her; every time she looked at him bile began filling her throat, he owed his unnatural life-span to innocent people he had experimented on. She banged the desk and stalked away from him quietly grumbling to herself. His findings could help her and the wardens but it couldn't help River. Simply a child, _her_ child, she was an innocent born of and with the taint already in her veins. She clutched at the vial of blood that hung from her neck in her hand tightly. She wasn't sure if she wanted to give him it or not but he was the only one with enough knowledge and experience to know what to do or how to look into it. She felt Cullen come behind her and place a hand gently on her shoulder. She sighed and nodded.

"You don't have to do this yet. You can take your time." He said quietly trying to comfort her.

Ami turned and faced him her eyes of understanding but equally filled with terror.

"No. It has to be now. If I don't do this soon … Cullen we don't know how long she has!"

Cullen nodded and she turned back to Avernus. She removed the vile from her neck and held it out to him.

"This is a vial of River's blood. She's came into her powers but she is different than a regular mage. She and I have a bond that surpasses what you could call natural."

"You can sense her, even miles away." Avernus stated looking at her intently. His unnatural stare unnerved Ami, how did he know? She could only nod at him and he grinned so widely that it made Ami's stomach do sickening flips.

"Then you are blessed. I understand her father is a Templar yes?" he eyed Cullen but her love simply shook his head.

Again Ami nodded and told him about Alistair.

"Ah the Warden-King. I'm even more impressed. She will be powerful of that I have no doubt. But what you mean by the 'bond' as you say is very true. It is not natural, albeit it is for her."

"You're not making much sense Avernus." Ami said folding her arms.

"No I suppose not. What I mean is, is that her parentage has transformed her and the effects of the taint have enhanced her. It is by that process that you have this bond. She will live a regular life albeit she will be very powerful."

"You mean she won't die as a Warden?" at that she unfolded her arms and gapped at him.

Avernus shook his head and smiled at her reassuringly. "There have been births of Grey Warden children, surely your own research has hinted on this. Many survived and live long lives but those who are blessed to be mages … it is a difficult life."

It was true her research had pointed to that, but each case was different. Many children that had been born of the Wardens had lived longer than the usual thirty year lifespan of their parents but even then it was still short of the average person. River's case was different according to Avernus.

"I don't fully understand."

"I'm getting to the point girl, patience!" he scowled at her and after a short pause continued. "As I was saying, yes mages born with the taint channel it into themselves and it changes their tie to the fade and hence the source of their power. You, yourself know some of that power Amilia. You did drink my concoction and have access to more of the power held within the taint."

Ami nodded shivering at the thought of the power within her. She had only used it when there was no other choice. It was like acid on her skin and in her blood and reminded her of blood magic. To be honest it probably was blood magic for all she knew. Cullen knew and he had more than enough reason to hate it but he had always known she would never use it unless she absolutely had too. She had always avoided telling Alistair though; he detested blood magic more than anything else and regardless of her reasons would regard it as a betrayal.

"Their power is forever altered as will their draw on the fade and the veil. If the child is born of a mage and a templar then there is even more power behind them. There has only been a handful of Warden Wakers and your daughter will be the first I have seen since Sophia's day."

"What exactly is a … Waker?" Cullen suddenly asked curious.

"They are people of great power, though not all of their abilities are known. The natural powers of a mage brought together with the balancing power of those who are trained as templar's bring forth a truly balanced magical entity. I have read of some who are powerful in certain aspects of magic like the primal forces or spirit ones, others are powerful enchanters like the Tranquil, others have had the ability to have glimpses of the future, even alter it and others become walking dispellers forever cancelling magical forces around them. There are many different aspects and combinations not all have been documented."

Cullen became instantly more attentive and Ami noticed him become tense.

"Are Waker's limited to those with the taint? Or can an untainted mage and templar produce one?" he asked.

"Your friend is clever child," Avernus smiled crookedly at Ami. "Yes, they can produce a Waker regardless of the taint, though the it helps focus their powers and enhances them. A non-tainted Waker would be significantly less powerful than a tainted one."

Ami could see Cullen's mind working over time as he absorbed the information. Ami wanted nothing but to talk to him about his parents but she promised she wouldn't say anything, not until Wynne was ready. She silently cursed the mage's secret. She'd try and consol him later but she had to focus on River.

"Wakers are by their very nature balanced. It has something to do with the way the Templar's are trained and of course the Chantry would never allow such a thing to be studied. The design of the Waker has never been fully understood even by the most highly skilled Warden scribes. She will live a normal life as she ages and even though she can sense the darkspawn she will never end her days in the Deep Roads. Unless she wants to of course."

Ami smiled and took comfort in the thought of her daughter being able to live a regular life span, for however long that might be.

"So will you be able to confirm River is indeed a Waker by the blood?"

"Child I don't need to. Just that she has this 'bond' and that Alistair is the father gives me enough evidence. I have no need to test it. Though, I will gladly accept it to further our research and knowledge about the taint."

Ami ginned and handed the old mage the vial. Perhaps from it he could work out what kind of power her daughter really had? Maybe this was what the spirits meant by 'great things'?

"Have you told Markus about this cure yet?"

"No. I thought we should wait for you to hear the news before we let the hierarchy decide."

"Decide?" Ami was confused.

"Yes. Regardless of what they may tell you I doubt that they will like the fact that the Warden's can be 'cured' so to speak. I don't know Markus's relationship with the other Warden's especially those from Weisshaupt but I do know that he is a good man," Jowan answered.

"How come? Would that not make recruiting easier? I doubt that they want to continue sending them to die in the deep roads. I should think twenty nine years of service then being cured and retired would suit most."

"Tradition my dear. Tradition is a strong thing. Like the Chantry and its hold on the minds of the poor sods in this world," muttered Avernus. "No offense ser Templar."

Cullen was brought out of his minds wanderings by the old mages indiscretion but he seemed unaware of the insult.

"Huh?" he looked blankly at Ami and she just smiled at him.

"Nothing to worry about my love," and she turned back to Jowan and Avernus.

"I know you trust Markus Ami, I do too. But I don't trust those from Weisshaupt not yet anyway. They are too wrapped up in their own politics to give us a straight answer." Jowan said quietly.

Ami nodded, she agreed with Jowan. When they had met a representative of the Weisshaupt forces she hadn't been impressed. The Wardens had sent a messenger and clerk not an actual Warden and it infuriated her. They didn't seem to care at all about the Wardens in Ferelden, they had sent help in the form of a clerk and only after the Commanders of the Orlesian Wardens had intervened had they sent help. Ferelden could not defend itself with only one Warden, Pheros had argued. Daniel was the first to arrive and it took time for Ami to adjust to the mans strange attitude, he reminded her of Sten but a drinking Sten, he was so logical and then completely illogical. Markus had followed soon after from being promoted by the Orlesians to the rank of Commander. Ami had told Pheros and Lethan she wanted to be involved as much as she could with rebuilding but she was first a mage then a Warden now that the Blight was over. They understood that without help the Circle would slowly be absorbed further into the Chantry and that would possibly mean the loss of potential recruits and agreed to her request.

She sighed. She respected Markus but he was … well strange and very … Orlesian.

_I should've taken Leliana, at least then I'd have some help_, she thought bitterly.

"I need to talk to him about this Chantry business. I doubt he'll like the idea of Chantry rebels out to get one of his Wardens. Especially that I'm that Warden, the 'hero of Ferelden'," she laughed.

"Oh I can see the riots of the people now after they hear you've been assassinated," Jowan replied sarcastically, "_Death to the Commander who let her die!_ They'll shout that and then storm the gates."

Ami laughed, "I hope not. This place was a mess the last time, I really don't want to have to come back from the fade and cleanse it again."

"Thanks. Your loyalty and concern for your fellow Wardens and friends is commendable Ami," Jowan mocked her.

"You know it friend." She replied, playfully punching his shoulder. "Is there anything else you've found I need to know Avernus?"

"No but now you have sparked my interest. Chantry rebels?"

"Yes. We were attacked on the road by a bunch of assassins sent on their behalf. I was wondering if you have any potions that allow for truth telling. We caught one and we are going to interrogate him shortly." Ami explained.

"Interesting. It seems that there is no stopping the limitations at which the religion would seek to trample the 'unrighteous' so it would seem."

"Yes well. Our other companion, Morrigan, she was captured and tortured by them." Ami explained grimly. "She escaped but they still have her daughter. They are apparently going to come after me next."

Avernus narrowed his eyes at her and looked stern.

"Mmm. I have felt the wilds woman. Her aura is very, how shall I say … shifty. It flickers from nothing to great power. It is obvious she has suffered some trauma. Be careful Commander."

"I will be but do you have anything that we may use for the prisoner?" Ami asked again. Any help he could give would make the grim process go more smoothly and quickly.

"I do not have anything that will induce truth telling but I do have something that will help."

He walked over to a large cabinet near the doorway and fumbled through the contents. He found what he was looking for and pulled out a small green liquid filled vial and smiled.

"This is my favourite discovery. I won't tell you what it does but you will be able to tell when the man is lying." He grinned widely and handed her it.

"Thank you Avernus. I will let you get back to your work." She nodded her head at both him and Jowan and left the laboratory with Cullen slowly following behind her.

They walked out of the tower and along the outside bridge that connected the tower to the main part of the fortress. After a walking a little distance away from the door Ami stopped and turned to face Cullen. He was standing with his head low and his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, thinking. He stood a few steps away from the door they had just walked through. The wind wiped around and bit at Ami's cheeks but she just looked at him.

"Are you alright?" she asked. She knew he wasn't but she needed to break him out of his silence somehow.

He shook his head, his hands still clenching and he looked out to the landscape surrounding the tower.

"Greagoir is my father." He said suddenly.

_That much was certain_ he thought, _there were too many similarities_. He looked up at her and continued.

"You know who my mother is don't you."

A look of terror and surprise came over her face and he knew who as her eyes glanced away from his stare.

"It's Wynne. Isn't it?"

He watched her nod and close her eyes. She hadn't lied to him she had protected Wynne and he was reminded of their discussion before they left the tower.

_That's what she was angry about before we left_, he mused.

He blew out a deep breath and ran a shaky hand through his hair. Too many thoughts and feelings were running through his head and heart he couldn't even begin to understand what he actually thought and felt. He was glad for Ami to hold back, he didn't think he could handle her holding him. His mind was warring against every past thought and conversation he and Greagoir had had. When had he first thought about this? When had it actually become true and when did he realise that he was his father?

"I'm sorry Cullen." Ami spoke quietly.

"How long have you known?"

"Too long. I wanted to tell you but Wynne, she wasn't ready. She didn't even know until I mentioned about your books and a few other things I said and it seemed to suddenly dawn on her who you were." She babbled on, nervous about his reaction.

"She didn't even know? Did Greagoir know? Tell me. What else should I know Ami?!"

He was angry with her now. He wanted to know everything. How could she be with him and not tell him anything, especially of this scale? What else had she kept from him? He knew the first part. No mage could have a baby within the tower and keep it. They had no choice but to give him up to the Chantry. His thoughts were hazy and a blind anger now fuelled him. He hadn't realised he had moved forward and grabbed her until he heard her cry out a sob.

"Cullen you're hurting me!"

He looked down and saw his gauntlet hands around her tiny wrists, squeezing them in a vice grip hold. He felt the strength in the grip and became instantly afraid. He quickly looked at her face and seeing the tears rolling down her cheek he quickly dropped them. He stepped back head down and shaking it from side to side.

"Maker I'm sorry Ami. I-I didn't mean to … _dam it_ I'm such an ass!" he began walking away from her, shame of his actions filling his thoughts.

Ami shook her head and followed him. She rounded in front of him and pressed her hands against his chest stopping him from walking away from her. She wasn't angry but her expression was that of annoyance and determination.

"No. You're not an ass Cullen. You're angry and Maker I can understand why but … believe me when I say I didn't want to keep it from you. You had every right to know. Wynne … she just didn't know how to tell you. Greagoir I don't think wanted to tell you, he probably thought you were better off."

He had been better off. Now he wasn't sure what he thought. How was he supposed to return to the tower knowing what he now knew? _It didn't matter_, a voice in his mind raged, _look what you did to her in anger_. He looked into her eyes and then glanced down at her red, slowly bruising wrists. _Dam it! I am not a man. _

"I'm sorry Ami. I never meant to hurt you."

Ami wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his head onto hers.

"I know my love. You don't have to tell me. Do you want me to tell you how I knew?"

She looked up into his eyes and smiled ruefully at him. He nodded and she pulled him to a nearby bench and talked to him about Wynne and Greagoir. He slowly relaxed as she told him she only ever suspected them as his parents, she had only confronted them before leaving the tower. She was angry that Wynne thought he wasn't ready to know when she knew he was soon to leave the templar's for good.

"I think she was afraid that you would resent her."

"Why? She had no power to stop them then. They would have taken me to the nearest Chantry and left me with the Sisters. She'd barely probably had a chance to look at me before the Knight-Commander or Greagoir himself took me."

"I think Greagoir has always known who you are. I remember he used to stare at you a lot and always seemed a little lost."

"Huh. It certainly explains a few things. He was so patient with me after Uldred. It explains some of the things he said and has done for me."

"Well you don't have to talk to them straight away about it. Take some time and think about it. I don't mind dealing with this rogue alone with Zev. I can meet you later?"

Cullen nodded and brushed his hand over her thigh, his thumb making lazy circles over it. He was glad she was here to talk to him but he felt awful about how he reacted. He hadn't been a man then, he'd been a brute and a fool. He didn't deserve her forgiveness. He would and have to make it up to her, even if no apology could match how badly he felt for it he would at least try. The redness had faded but they would be tender for quite a while. Ami had reduced the bruising with her magic but Cullen was struggling to keep himself together. She'd never know how much she meant to him.

"I think some time alone will be a good idea." He smiled at her but inside he was crumbling at the returned impish smile she gave, the one that he loved. _How could she smile after that?_

"Alright but don't stay alone for too long." She took his hand and kissed his gauntlet knuckles and then brushed her lips against his before taking her leave.

Cullen remained and watched her leave before dropping his smile.

_I don't deserve her_, he thought; _she is too selfless and forgiving and I don't deserve her forgiveness. She'll never know how much she means to me. _

He went back to thinking about what had happened in the past few hours.

~v~

"Ah will the torment never end!" yelled an exasperated Morrigan.

She growled as she walked through the door of the dinning hall and sat at the opposite end of the table from Ami and Zevran. Ami had only joined him in the dining hall a few moments earlier and was curious. What had been happened to infuriate the witch so much? She could tell Zevran was trying not to grin in Morrigan's direction but Ami could tell he was struggling.

"What's going on?"

Zevran tried to hold back a restrained laugh as he then saw Cain sneak in but then looked at her and pointed in the direction of Morrigan.

"Your recruit, Cain? Has been tormenting her all day and has been showering her in compliments and such. It has been quite fun to watch."

Ami groaned, she didn't need a transformed, or for that matter, a _dead_ Warden. She knew Morrigan all too well. If Cain gave her enough reason she would kill him despite her self control. He was such a trouble maker when it came to the fairer sex.

"I better tell him to stop before she turns him into a toad. I can't have a toad as my messenger!"

She watched as the grinning recruit wandered over to Morrigan, performed a luscious bow and complimented her on her use of vocabulary before heading off to the nearby armoury. Morrigan put her head in her hands and then glared at Ami.

"I swear if he pays anymore attention to me I _will_ burn him alive. Even if he is one of your precious Grey Warden's Sister, I shall dismember him!"

Ami bit back a laugh and nodded trying to remain serious. It was as she thought last night, a recipe for disaster and that bastard Cain was the one to blame. She turned back to Zevran and sighed, well the rogue wasn't going to interrogate himself.

"Shall we my friend?"

"Yes I think the little imp has been left on his own for long enough," Zevran replied.

Ami pushed herself up and Zevran held out his arm for her. She slipped her arm into his and they walked towards the dungeons. She sighed and leant her head on his shoulder.

"My dear Ami is something wrong?"

"Just a lot of things have happened today and it's not even mid-afternoon yet."

"Are you alright?" Taking slower, longer strides Zev readied himself to pause and talk if she wanted to. She didn't want to talk about things yet and so continued to walk.

She sighed again and nodded. "I will be." She patted his arm and smiled.

The dungeons were dark and dank. Ami hated them and for the second time that day a shiver ran up her spine as she remembered Cullen's dream. She _did not_ want to end up in one of these places again, Fort Drakon was enough. There were four large cells in this part of the dungeon. Their little friend was in the last one. Ami stood at the door and looked at the man. A man, he was barely that, soft rugged hair, bright blue eyes and a skinny figure led her to think he wasn't even twenty yet. She offered him a smile but he only scowled at her and she dropped it as she stepped back from the cell door. Zevran looked at her, curious.

"I'm not taking chances friend. I want answers and I'm not giving him the chance to escape from me."

She walked to the entrance of the dungeon and held her palm out. A bright blue light settled around the door barring anyone from entering or leaving. She turned then to the cell door and cast another spell letting the door fly open inward. The man sighed.

"Me wondered why his tools wouldn't work. You magiked it."

Ami smiled, _definitely not even twenty_.

"Yes well I have had attempts made on my life before. It helps being prepared if and when it happens again."

"We heard of the Crows attack on you. Never thought one of their own would turn against them and join the likes of you." He glared at Zevran.

"Come now little one," Zevran said lightly and he began walking behind the young man. "We'd like to have a chat with you."

Zevran pushed him forward out the door and sat him on the chair they had taken with them. Ami stood a short distance away leaning on a wall watching her friend circle him.

"You will get nothing!" he shouted.

"Now perhaps," Ami began. "But you will tell me, eventually," she said darkly, her voice barely just above a whisper. She folded her arms and smiled at him. Then, glancing at Zevran she nodded. Quickly Zevran was on him, he overpowered him easily and settled him as she moved slowly towards their prisoner. She pulled out the small vial that Avernus gave her and forced him to drink and swallow it.

"Now I do not enjoy this kind of act but I am tired of being hunted. Hear me boy as I don't wish to hurt you."

Ami walked away from him. She couldn't believe how calm she was even while her stomach was flipping and churning at the very thought of torturing this poor brain washed soul. But she had to remain strong and collected. Her life and River's life depended on this boy's information. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning around to face him with the best cold masked expression she could muster.

"We'll start simply. The potion I've given you is a truth serum of sorts. My good mage friend has kindly provided it. Now, what is your name?"

The boy seemed to struggle under Zevran's grasp but Ami noticed it was the effect of the potion that sent his body into spasms. She nodded to Zevran to move off and let the boy twitch it out. Zevran complied and moved off taking a stance behind him again while carefully watching the unbound man twitch and shudder.

"What is your name?" Ami asked again.

"What the hell was that?! I-It burns!"

"What is your name?" she said again, this time with more force.

"Re … Re … Reggie," he coughed out. He twitched again and seemed to relax slightly after answering her question.

Ami nodded, "Greetings Reggie. Do you know who we are?" She never moved from the wall it steadied her against the violent turning her stomach was going through.

She watched as he nodded violently and spat out, "the 'hero of Ferelden' and her Crow."

"Good. What is the name of the underground group?"

Again he shook violently as the potion took effect. It seemed Avernus' potion forced the truth out of the unwilling subject. He was resisting but the obvious pain was crippling his attempts to withstand spilling the truth out. She felt the urge to vomit violently as she watched the potion twist the poor boy into a frenzy as he tried to talk.

"The … the Ch-ch-children of-f the Fl-flame."

Ami nodded and stepped forward. She had had enough of this gruelling task. She knelt down to Reggies level to see him face to face.

"You must understand I do not take pleasure in this act Reggie. I would sooner cut off my own head than enjoy such a thing but endure this I must. People rely on me to keep them safe. Surely you can understand this?"

He nodded again amongst the shakes. Ami could see the tears rolling down his cheeks and she felt pity for the poor thing. She decided she couldn't do it anymore and an idea came to her.

"I will reverse the potion if you swear to tell the truth and tell me what I need to know. Do you swear?"

"I-I sw-swear."

Zevran looked at her and shook his head, he was not convinced but Ami knew the potion would soon run its course naturally. She'd rather have him swear before it did so than have him take notice that he could lie easier. She pretended to chant a spell and ran a glow of magic over his head, feigning the removal of the potions effects.

"Tell me. Who sent you?"

"T-the l-leader is called Zaphron. … He is one of the group's chief council members. It was him that hired us."

"Where are they based?"

"They met us in one of their safe houses. Reggie does not know where they actually meet."

Ami scowled. They were cleverer than she thought covering their tracks that well.

"Do you know of any of their members within the Chantry in Denerim?"

He nodded his body still shivering from the potions troubling effects.

"A woman by the name of Gelby. She is a sister in the Chantry there."

"Do you know what plans they have for the Wilds girl?"

"No. They wouldn't tell Reggie that. Even though Reggie saw her on the way to the meeting room."

Ami unfolded her arms and looked at him. She widened her eyes. The boy had seen Asha.

"You saw her? How did she look?"

"Scared but also happy. She looked … odd." He remarked, cocking one of his eyebrows.

Ami scowled again. What he did he mean by odd? She'd ask Morrigan, perhaps it was a Wild thing beacuse Ami thought, Morrigan herself was odd.

"What did they hire you to do exactly?"

"They wanted the mages and the little girl caught and taken to the house. The rest were to be killed."

Ami gripped her forearms, feeling her nails digging into them. _Dam it_. Morrigan had been right, they were after them all but they wanted her, Morrigan and River alive. But why? The boy had provided all the information he could, Ami didn't expect much more than what he had already told her, she doubted they trusted him enough in their ranks to be allowed more sensitive information.

"Are there anymore of the Kings guard involved in the plot?" she asked finally.

Reggie shook his head, "No only two of the guards were ours. The others were regular guards."

"Very well. I shall leave you now. Zevran here will get you some food and see that you are comfortable before you are handed over to the crown to decide your fate."

Ami turned and began walking to the door as the boy called out.

"Wait mage! I mean … what does Reggie call the Hero of Ferelden?" he looked confused and Ami felt even more … affection? Yes. She did feel that towards the boy.

"Warden Amell, or Amilia will suffice. Why?"

"Reggie wishes to be a Warden."

"What?! Why?" she spun around fully to face him and furrowed her brow. He sat their sure and bold in front of her never refusing her intense gaze on him.

"Reggie doesn't want to go back to them. It's like the Crows we are slaves to them. Being a Warden means choice and freedom."

"Reggie I just tortured information out of you!" Ami couldn't believe what she was hearing and looked at Zev and then back to Reggie.

"Yes but you said it yourself. You didn't enjoy it, you were repulsed by it. You may thought you had hid your emotions well Warden but Reggie is well enough trained to see them for what they are. Our masters would show no such compassion." He smiled and cocked his head back.

Zevran chuckled. "He is right my dear. You do have a terrible poker face. I have changed my mind, I like him now."

Reggie grinned at the elf and Zevran nodded at Ami.

"Reggie I'm going to put you to sleep while I have a word with Zev."

"As you wish Warden," he accepted.

Ami came closer and held her palms out to Reggie's head. He instantly fell asleep in the chair and Ami shook her head at Zevran.

"I can't just make him a Warden Zev!"

"Why not? You made your mage friend one and his crimes and my own, for that, are far worse than this little sapling."

"I will not put him through the joining. I have no reason to trust him or possibly end his life Zev."

"And all the Wardens are made of exceptional character yes? Just because you do not trust him now does not mean that you won't in the future. Besides he may not have much of a life after the crown deal with him either."

"Huh." Ami replied somewhat lost in a past memory.

"What?"

"Somehow I've been thrown back in time and have become Alistair." She grinned at her friend.

Zevran just shook his head and chuckled.

"Yes I can imagine that I am you then and Reggie is me."

Ami nodded and sighed. Regardless of the boy's actions he seemed child-like and Ami was reminded of Zevran's own past. When he was trained as a Crow they had been pitted against one another, fought one another and either died or killed to become what they are. He was just a boy, not even a man yet, mentally. Ami decided on that count to yield to Zevran's request.

"Fine. I will only put him through the joining if he proves himself. If not then he shall go to Denerim."

"Very well my dear." She noticed how he had become relieved but as usual Zevran quickly returned to his neutral mask. She was one of the few people who could read him well enough to know his subtle changes. Ami walked to the warded door and undid them allowing the door to open slowly. She turned and looked over her shoulder to Zevran.

"He will be entrusted to you Zev. If he doesn't prove trustworthy you will …" Ami didn't need to finish, she knew he understood.

"I understand my dear. I'm glad we are giving him the opportunity to choose."

Ami nodded and left the dank dungeons. She was never so glad to be returning to clean fresh fragrant air and sky but she wasn't looking forward to the earful she was going to get.

_Cullen is going to kill me …_

~v~

The men gently rowed the small boat out into the lake. The night was warm and the only light visible that helped aid them towards the tower was the bright moon. It outlined the tall slender building that dominated the centre of the bay during the day.

"Row quietly. We don't want the templar's to hear our approach," Zaphron sneered quietly.

He lent on his staff and looked towards the tower and smiled.

_I'm looking forward to meeting you little one. I'm sure you will enjoy the trip I have planned for us. _

~v~_  
_

* * *

*Spins* Woo another chapter done and dusted. I hope you have all enjoyed this newest addition.

Soooo we have a new character Reggie. He will become very, very important in the upcoming chapters later on in the story. I wanted him to appear child-like so i attempted to make him talk in the third person. I hope to add a bit more to his personal story later on, yes another damaged soul, our Ami just seems to pick them up everywhere lol. I hope ending the chapter on the evil chantry fiends was enough for my lovely readers. I'm going to enjoy writing the point where Ami meets Zaphron.

The next chapter is going to begin with an Alistair/Ami chat then another Cullen dream. Ami will then find out something is wrong at the tower but there will be no help from Cullen and Alistair. They have a date with a Chantry sister and the Revered Mother, Reggie will also have a chance to prove himself to Alistair. This might span over a few chapters but i'm still working through it. Oh! Also in the next chapter i'm going to have the loooong awaited appearance of Asha! Finally i hear some of you say. Yes it has been a long wait for this Wild's girl.

Shout out to all those who read this dribble lol I appreciate you sticking with me. Please Please PLEASE leave me a comment or review I really do appreciate them and people who read/alert/fav and don't review make me have a sad face : ( I'd like to know if your enjoying it or not. Shout out also to my good friend **Wolfe's Princess**, hun i love your comments and you are a star, don't worry if your struggling to get a chance to read the updates i know your a busy girl. Also please (again) check out her own story, **Cookies 'n' Cream **its a Sten/FemCouslan fic and its smexy! Please R&R she needs to know she MUST continue the story lol thanks and goodnight

mousemage


	17. Siblings

17. Siblings

Ami found that Cullen was still sitting on the same bench where she left him earlier, thinking. The sun was beginning to set in the distance offsetting the blue sky with a red glow, slowly turning it into night and he'd been there since late morning. She sighed quietly. She didn't want to disturb him from his thoughts, however if he needed time he should have it and she was happy to wait. Ami, on the other hand, needed to feel the cold air on her skin and shrug off the feelings of the cramp dungeon from her. How good it felt to be outside and having the wind blow over her. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath of the fresh crisp air and smiled at feeling the bite of the cold on her cheeks. When she slowly opened them she saw that Cullen had noticed her presence and greeted her with a slight smile. He was still working through his thoughts and emotions she could see. She smiled and slowly approached him taking a seat on the stone bench.

"The air smells so clean out here," she said quietly. She took another deep breath and sat back against the bridges wall while closing her eyes gently.

Cullen looked at her and his smile broadened. She was so pleased and content with the simple things in life. He felt a pang of regret and shame at what happened earlier and glanced at her wrists that sat delicately on her lap.

"_Stop_ looking at my wrists," Ami said quietly. Cullen looked up at her face, she hadn't even opened her eyes and she knew he was looking at them. He scowled.

"_Don't_ pull that face either. I may have my eyes closed but I know you very well."

"I can't help what I feel." He muttered. Ami opened her eyes and tilted her head at him.

"Then stop. I have forgiven you, nothing else has to be said."

"That's not true!" He protested.

"Cullen! I swear, if you don't stop it I'll zap your lovely arse raw until you do!"

Cullen blinked and Ami glared at him. She barely kept the feigned expression for more than a minute before bursting out with laughter. Cullen smiled and slowly began to laugh. Her laughter was infectious to him and soon he relaxed. Ami opened her arms into a welcoming embrace and he placed his head in her lap while shifting to look up at her. Ami cupped her left hand over and through his hair while her right rested on the front buckles of his breast plate.

"I am … I'm sorry." He said.

"Shh. Enough love. I know." She bent down and kissed him sweetly. "Though after what I'm about to tell you, you might want to kill me."

"Why?" he asked, eyebrow raised unsure if he wanted to know.

"I've set the rogue free." She said bluntly.

"You did what?!" he blinked, _why she would do something so stupid? _

"He wants to become a Warden." she explained.

"What?! Have you gone insane," he sat up on his elbows and looked into her eyes.

"I've left him in Zev's care." She added, as if attempting to make it sound better.

_**How**_ _in the makers name_ _would that make it better?_ Cullen thought.

"Why would you do that?!" he gently gathered her hands up into his own and looked directly at her. He was trying to find the answer in her face that would explain her ridiculous idea. She just stared back at him, certainty in her features that her decision was the right one, like all the other times she had decided on something. He groaned disapprovingly.

"Cullen," she began, sighing deeply and looking downwards, "he's just a child. They brain washed him into trying to kill us. I trust Zev's judgement; if he wants to give him a chance and so do I. Surely you can see that?"

"You. Are. Insane." He breathed, shaking his head at her.

Ami chuckled and nodded, "I suppose I am. I did warn you, you were marrying a mad woman."

Cullen couldn't help himself and chuckled deeply in his throat. He shook his head again.

"Ha! You'll have to do a lot more than this to scare me away."

"Good." Ami replied, smiling broadly.

They sat together for a while watching the moon rise and the stars began to shine out in the midnight sky. It was a comfortable silence and both enjoyed the fact that neither had to say anything to fill the space. They could just be. Ami wrapped her arm around Cullen's back and sighed as she snuggled her head into his shoulder. Cullen gently placed his arm around her and settled his arm around her waist pulling her closer. He could smell her sweet lavender oil that she used to wash her hair, it was always a soothing aroma that filled his nose and comforted him.

"Do you want to go inside now?" he asked quietly.

She didn't answer him and he tilted his head and found her asleep snuggled into his shoulder, drooling onto his plate armour. He grinned, chuckled gently and then gently kissed her head.

"Off to bed then my queen."

~v~

Cullen was gently carrying Ami towards their chambers when Alistair greeted him. He first looked worried but seeing Cullen's calm expression and Ami's arm sat snugly at his chest while the other sucked her thumb he just grinned at them.

"Long day?" he asked once Cullen got closer.

"Yes. She had to deal with Avernus this morning and then deal with the rogue later on. You're not going to like what she's found or done."

Alistair snorted. "When does that woman ever care what others think if it gets the job done?"

"Well something tells me you're really not going to like this."

"I'm listening." Alistair said.

"She's handed him over to Zev. The kid wants to be a Warden and Zev and Ami have agreed to let him prove himself before either putting him through the joining or handing him over to us to take to Denerim."

There was a long pause. Cullen just looked at Alistair as the news sunk in. After a few moments Alistair ran a hand through his hair. He made a few attempts to say something before finally finding his hoarse voice.

"The woman is insane!" he spat.

"I told you." Cullen offered.

Alistair glowered at him and then at Ami but the image of the mage sucking her thumb while asleep only made him chuckle.

"I can't be mad at her when she's like that." He sniggered while pointing at her.

"I know." Cullen grinned, glancing down at her than back up to Alistair. "But now that I've had time to think about it, he may prove useful. With some training and a little bit of glamour he could be our Orlesian Warden."

Alistair's eyes narrowed at Cullen as he mulled over his words. The rogue was a bit young but if Zevran could train him a bit and teach him how to act, yes, this could work in their favour as well as the rogues. Even if he couldn't pass as the Orlesian he could certainly act on his behalf.

"Agreed," Alistair said after a brief pause. "We'll have to watch him however."

Cullen nodded, he wasn't about to let a complete stranger have complete control over his release and future.

"Well we'll talk about it tomorrow. I'll see you at breakfast." Alistair said quietly, "We can talk to Zev about his new _friend_ and the job we want done." He held open the chamber door for Cullen before wishing him goodnight and leaving him.

Cullen looked down at Ami as he gently placed her onto their bed and smiled. He stroked her cheek and moved away the usual rogue curl that framed her face.

"I hope you're right about this kid. For both our sakes," prayed Cullen before slowly removing his armour and joining her.

~v~

_This time it's the tower for Cullen and his dreams. He see's the normal tall bluish stone of its walls and the wide, large alabaster flagstone's that cover it's floor. But there is something else covering the floor and it chills his bones to see it again. _

_Blood covers the floor of the tower. The hallway he is in is running with it. _

_It reminds him of when the circle fell. Was this just a regular nightmare then? He moves forward a step and feels something crunch beneath his heavy plate boot. He glances down and sees what now remains of a Circle pendant. He finds it odd and confusing. Suddenly Cullen realises that he is __**aware**__ that this is a dream, he's never been aware he was in a dream before. He looks at himself. He is still in his armour of a templar, his sash and plate armour are the same with their usual ties buckles and pieces of plate accounted for. There is blood on it however. Whose blood he has no idea but there __**is**__ blood on his armour and he __**is**__ in the tower. _

_He realises that he is panting. Had he been running? He can't remember. He shakes his head, grunts then moves on from the main entrance and heads further into the tower, his sword drawn. He moves quickly but as quietly as he can in his plate metal. As he moves past the apprentice quarters he tries to understand why he would be aware being in the dream. Maybe it had something to do with the conversation with Avernus? Had it helped him understand what he was? Maybe this was his unconscious trying to understand his …_his mind hesitated_… abilities? He mentally shook his head, he didn't know anything, he only knew that what he saw disturbed him. He was uncomfortable with being in the tower like this, with blood and bodies all around him, it brought back the thoughts he had after the circle was broken and it made him nervous. Please let this just be a memory and not a vision, he pleads. _

_He turned the corner of the hallway that lead into the lower library and all apprehension was muted by the figure that greeted him. It was Ami and she looked exhausted. Well and whole, to Cullen's relief but she looked as though she had been battling for days. She was covered, head to toe in blood, her hair was sodden and the blood had matted it altogether, her robes were ripped and shredded and in places was covered with large blood stains and on her face she had a deep healing gash over her right cheek. She sat gingerly on a stool while another mage tended to her. _

"_Good to see you!" she said smiling broadly and oddly cheerful. _

"_What happened?" he panted out._

"_Bastard rebels that's what happened," she cursed. She slowly stood, placing her weight heavily on her staff and tried to walk over to him. Her approach however, was halted by the other mage grabbing her by the forearm and setting her back towards the stool. _

"_Don't even bother, Amell. You're in no condition to do anything!" snapped the young mage. _

_Cullen recognised her as Petra, one of the other senior mages from the original circle. She was one of the best healers in the tower after Wynne and Cullen could tell she must have had a hard time keeping her eyes on Ami. The woman was too stubborn for her own good sometimes. _

_Ami snorted. "I will be fine. Go and help the other poor sods. I need to talk to my templar."_

_Petra shook her head and scolded Ami further by grabbing her staff away and sharply pushed her back onto the stool. _

"_You," she glared. "Will get this back when you have enough energy to stand on your own two feet and no sooner."_

_Cullen grinned and reached behind his neck to scratch his head. Ami glowered daggers at the healer and waved her off. _

"_I have to go Petra!" but her normal commanding voice did nothing but anger the healer more. _

"_You won't be going anywhere till you've healed a bit. What good would you be if you found them and then dropped dead in the midst of battle? Grey Warden or not you are neither replaceable nor indestructible!"_

_Ami sulked but relented. She folded her arms and sighed heavily, somewhere between wheezing and coughing and nodded to Petra. _

"_Good. And you!" she turned and face Cullen. "Ser Templar Cullen will make sure she doesn't go anywhere!"_

"_Yes ma'am." He replied, nodding trying to avoid her very icy glare. _

_Petra walked away leaving them alone. Cullen quickly closed the gap between them and knelt to be level with her. He removed his gauntlets and cupped her face. Dream or not he never wanted to see his love injured or in pain and would do anything to comfort her. _

"_What happened my love?"_

_It was only with Petra gone that Cullen could see Ami's face turn from simple 'getting on with it' to anguish. Her hands balled and she shook violently. She slumped her head into her chest, her breathes hampered by her sobs. He could feel the tears dripping from her cheek onto his hand. He placed his other hand on her exposed right knee and urged her on. _

"_We were too late," she began. "She's gone. I-I've lost her Cullen. I-I've lost my little girl."_

_Cullen sighed. "We will find her Ami. Don't give up yet. We will find her."_

_He pulled her close and tightly held her. _

"_I'm a mess Cullen …" she sobbed. _

"_Hush now. We will find her. I promise you that."_

The dream fades quickly as Cullen felt reality pounce on him unexpectedly. Someone is shaking him awake. He feels groggy at first until he sees and feels the familiar setting of his and Ami's room. He sat up and looked at Ami. She looked panicked and had her hands on his shoulders shaking him to wake up.

"What? What is it?"

"Something's happened. Something's happened at the tower, I feel it Cullen. Something's happened to River. She feels different."

~v~

"Are you sure you don't want to wait Ami? I can have guards and men with you in a few hours," pleaded Alistair.

"No. Its better I go now than wait." Ami replied as she finished tacking up her horse and turning to her pack.

She was rushing around the courtyard grabbing her gear and worrying a very sleepy and anxious Alistair. He followed her as she stopped and picked out jars and vials from her pack, emptying it of anything she didn't need on the way back to the tower. All he knew was that something was wrong back at the tower and Ami was … well … _freaking out_ he thought. If she was this agitated it meant something was seriously wrong back at the Circle.

"What is it Ami?" he said sternly, grabbing her shoulders and turning her to face him.

She stared into his brown eyes and saw the concern for both of them.

"I don't know Alistair but I feel it. It's like she's been wrapped up in countless blankets, I can barely sense her. I need to go, now, I can't wait for others I may already be too late."

Alistair gripped her shoulders tighter and nodded. He sighed heavily, released her and walked away. He didn't say anything for a few moments and Ami just stood waiting. He sighed and turned back at her, a decision had been made.

"Cullen and I will make for Denerim today. Zev and your new _friend_ will be coming with us. We have a job for him to do and then we will meet you back at the tower."

"Alis--"

"Don't argue with me!" he narrowed his eyes at her, "I'm not about to let you saunter off into maker knows what and let yourself get killed or captured or what ever these Chantry idiots want with you and River. I won't. King or not she's my little girl too, I'm not going to wait around and see what happens."

"Alistair you need to stay in Denerim! What about your wife and son? They need you as much as she does, perhaps even more than her. You have to let me handle this!" Ami argued.

Alistair raised his hand and was about to argue when …

"That's why we're going with her," Cain said valiantly.

Alistair and Ami turned to see Cain, Emisa and Morrigan filling the doorway to the stables, each had a horse and was packed ready with their weapons of choice. Cain's large axe hung from its holster on his beast, Emisa's long greatsword stuck unnaturally out from her back and Morrigan staff hung like a normal branch at her side.

"And we're not the only ones," he added. "Tork has already gone ahead and we are just waiting on you, your ladyship," he grinned.

"Call me ladyship again Cain and I'll let Morrigan incinerate you." Ami warned the warden, her eyes cold.

Morrigan smiled wickedly and at Cain, almost hungrily.

"Oh sister you would spoil me?" She shot a glance at Cain, "I beg you to say it again." Cain just grinned wider and cocked his head at the wilds witch.

"Really? If you wanted me naked that badly I can suggest an easier method than burning clothes off. How about untying the buttons and laces? But then again, I think that would only be a boring substitute than the alternative for you my dear lady witch."

"I … reeeally didn't want to hear that. Really Ami? Where did you find this guy?" muttered an embarrassed and slightly disgusted Alistair who pointed at Cain.

Morrigan's face almost matched Alistair's and she snorted in disgust and walked a little away from Cain. The Wardens response was a hearty chuckle and he proceeded to follow her much to Morrigan's distain.

"Wardens," Morrigan huffed. "The mind wonders how your order has survived with members such as you and him." Ami knew the 'you' referred to Alistair and the 'him' referred to Cain. She shook her head and suppressed a chuckle, now was not the time for jokes but she allowed herself to smile and turned to Alistair.

"You don't want to know the answer to that question Ali, trust me." Ami said grinning. "But we better be off. I want to get back to the tower before tomorrow."

"Then I suggest we leave soon. Is there to be no Templar with you this time?" asked Emisa, she glanced at Alistair and then looked for Cullen.

Ami shook her head. "No, Cullen and Alistair have business in Denerim to take care of, along with Zev and the rogue Reggie. I will have to depend on you Emisa if the time should come."

Emisa's face went a slight chalky white but she quickly composed herself and nodded.

"I will see it done commander _if_ the time comes."

"Thank you Emisa. Where is Cullen?"

Ami glanced about the courtyard looking for her red headed champion. She saw him leant up against the castles west exit looking sombre and quickly left the group to talk to him. Despite her apprehension and growing fear she needed to say her goodbyes and wish him good luck. She kissed him intensely before pulling away and mounting her horse. She looked down at him and offered him a sweet smile.

"Promise me you'll be careful." Cullen ordered. Ami bent down and ran her thumb over his cheek.

"I will but you better be free when I next see you. Or both of us will be mad that we each broke our promises."

Cullen nodded grimly and ran his palm over her knee up her thigh and then onto the horses hind. He let it linger a moment as he stared into her eyes before giving it a good slap and watched the beast take his love off towards danger, alone.

Alistair came up beside him.

"Do you think it will be alright?"

Cullen shook his head sadly as he watched her and the other warden's ride off towards the tower.

"No. People are going to die. I just wish I knew who."

Alistair shook his head and kicked the ground. "Damn it."

~v~

"River, why are you roaming the halls at this time of night? You know you should be in bed," Leliana groaned as she was slowly woken from her pleasant dream.

"Sorry Leli but I can't sleep. I keep thinking Mommy is in danger." River replied quietly.

She was dressed in a simple white tunic that reached all the way past her knees and held onto her stuffed mabari doll that Cullen had given her one year. Even with her fade experience maturing her she still took comfort in the stuffed animal. She eyed Leliana and her large bed and shrugged at the bard. Leliana sat up slowly and held out her arms to the little girl at the edge of her bed.

"Come, you can sleep next to me and maybe I'll help you get some sleep."

"You mean that you might get some sleep if I stayed," River grinned as she climbed into the large bed with the bard.

"Mmm. I did hope you wouldn't notice but yes." She gently chuckled and snuggled back into the blankets. "Besides you can sense her can't you?"

"Yes but it's the strangest thing. It feels like she's getting further and further away. It started yesterday evening." River pouted. Leliana spooned into her and tried to comfort her.

"River your mother has been gone less than two days. She's travelling with your father, Cullen, Zevran and Oghren not to mention Artie and the King's guardsmen. She's never had better body guards than those she's with."

"Why do I feel like we're all missing something though?" she whispered.

"Sleep child. It won't be long before they return and I know you want to show your mother how well you have already mastered the basic stealth technique."

River grinned. She had taken her mothers duel to heart and her and Cullen's words. She was only as good without her magic as she was with it. If she couldn't learn to defend herself without it then what use was she with it? Ami had taught her that her magic was a gift but it was also a curse. People without magic could easily hurt others because they fashioned weapons out of other things, or used their own fists. The power that mages dealt with gave them more meaning to wield it responsibly, people feared mages. Alistair and Ami had agreed that she should learn to fight but through an honour system. She was told that her training was a means of defence only, the greatest victory is a victory won without weapons or battles she was told by her parents and by Cullen.

River frowned. Thinking about Cullen the past few days had worried her. She was happy about him and her mother but there was something _different_ about him and she couldn't put her finger on. She had sensed it in the past few days and much to her surprise it unnerved her.

She felt herself drift off slowly and enter the fade. Its usual silence and never ending watching greeted her as she became aware of her surroundings. She was slowly becoming used to the familiar feeling when she suddenly felt someone tap her shoulder. Quickly shespun around to see a young boy behind her. She stared at him quizzically and he seemed to have the same reaction to her too. Neither had expected to meet the other. As she looked closer she could see that he was a little younger than her, had striking blonde hair and bright green eyes and was dressed rather richly. He had his hands firmly back in his pocket and he had an air of mischief about him that River couldn't quite place but recognised it regardless.

"Who are you?" he asked. "I'm sure your not one of the noble girls I've met before. I'd remember, because _that_ is certainly not a noble dress." He glanced and pointed at her mage robes.

River didn't know if she should be insulted or if she should laugh at the boy. The apprentice robes were quite hideous after all.

"If you must know, I'm a mage and these are apprentice robes." She said haughtily.

"Oh," the boy sounded surprised and then grinned. "Can you do magic? Could you show me some? Please, pretty please?"

"No." River replied flatly. "Mages don't cast spells on demand. We respect the boundaries of life and the law."

The boys lips twisted up and his grin turned into a frown.

"That not what Sister Justine says. She says mages caused the maker to turn his back on us and are evil."

River shook her head dismissively, getting rather annoyed with the boy.

"Well she speaks rubbish," she folded her arms. "The maker lives in all of us," she added, remembering what Leliana had told her, "he loves all of us. He made the mages what they are. Who are you to judge me for what the maker made me?"

The boy seemed taken aback by River's comment and seemed to think on it for a few moments while scratching his head.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to be rude." He sighed. "My dad says I get that part off of him cos he says he was raised by dogs. My mum just laughs and says it's just because he wasn't raised fully in a noble house."

"My daddy says the same thing." River grinned and so did the boy.

"I'm Duncan."

"River Isla." She replied in kind. She paused a little before adding, "I used to know a Duncan or rather my parents did."

"Yeah my dad's mentor was called Duncan," he nodded. "He died during the Blight and saved my Dad so he and my mother named me in his honour."

"Huh." River said, tilting her head as she looked at Duncan. There was nothing really special about him, she thought, _why is he here?_ "This is strange."

"What is?" he asked.

"I'm just thinking it's rare for a non-mage to navigate the fade. Normally, its only mages that can do it and some templar's." She answered truthfully.

"I must be an exception then but my dad is, well, he was a templar, would that make a difference?" Duncan grinned and shrugged at her.

River cocked her head at him, raised her eyebrows and felt her heart skip faster as her mind worked around the few moments of conversation. _Did he just say templar?_

"Sorry, your dad _was_ a templar? I thought Templar's couldn't leave the Chantry?" she narrowed her eyes on the boy.

"He was conscripted by the Grey Wardens before he took his vows." He simply said.

"What?!" River blurted and her eyes went wide.

"Why? What's wrong?" Duncan looked at her and folded his arms.

"Wait, so your dad is … Alistair Theirin?!" River yelled. _My father?_

Duncan seemed to shrink back at her realisation and his head stooped. He silently nodded.

"And that means … holy maker!"

River started cursing every curse Oghren had secretly told her over the few years. This seemed to spark an intense interest from Duncan as he giggled at her countless obscenities.

"I'll have to try them out on dad."

"Trust me he's heard them all and probably worse." River muttered.

Duncan dropped his smile, his eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by that?"

River rubbed the bridge of her nose. How in Andraste's holy knickers was she to explain to, for lack of a better word, her brother who she was? He was not going to take this well no matter how delicately she put it.

"Do you know who Amilia Amell is?" she began.

Duncan nodded, his eyes still narrowed at her with suspicion, "She's the hero of Ferelden, a mage why?"

"She was also a very good friend of your fathers before he became King. Before he became king they were, well, more than friends. If he hadn't become King they would have married."

Duncan nodded. "I have heard my mum talk about her. She said she was very brave to do what she did, that Ferelden has never seen a woman so wholly devoted to duty."

River rolled her eyes at that, _of course she would say that, it's not like Mommy really had a choice_.

"Did Alistair ever tell you about her?" River asked, suddenly curious if her father had ever mentioned her or her mother.

Duncan again nodded, "He said he loved her very much but that being King and having duty often meant sacrificing the things you most wanted."

"Oh … well …"

River was surprised at that and went quiet for a few moments before looking directly at Duncan and telling him the truth.

"I am their daughter," she said bluntly. "Which makes me your sister, well half-sister I suppose."

"My … what?" Duncan said staring back at her.

River sighed, "My full name is River Isla Amell … Theirin."

~v~

Zaphron looked around him. There were sleeping bodies everywhere of the filthy cadged mages. He had his men sneak into the tower under the cover of darkness and with the help of their insider they were able to bypass the bulk of the towers templar's or incapacitate them.

Greagoir had been another matter however.

The older man had sensed something and had come across two of Zaphron's rogues, easily dispatching one of them to the maker before the others had ambushed him and restrained him. He was now kneeling in front of Zaphron as the Elder decided his fate. Zaphron was debating whether to kill the knight-commander or if it was better to wound him instead after they had completed their task in the phylactery chamber. He was also thinking of leaving him to be found by his own or better yet the so-called mages.

Greagoir was in a pitiful state. He had been stripped of his amour and was down to his cotton undershirt and trousers; he had been beaten ferociously and then drugged by the rogues in an attempt to subdue him. It hadn't worked well. They were about to decide whether to force him through lyrium withdrawal when Zaphron had joined them. The Elder had dangled a vial of accelerant potion in front of him and he could see the older mans face harden, but it didn't hardened in fear. _Too bad_, the Elder though. Lyrium withdrawal was not an easy process or a particularly pleasant thing to rectify. Those who had attempted so on their own usually ended their lives due to paranoia or by others as they acted out hallucinations or violent acts brought on by memory loss and confusion. Greagoir was right to fear such a thing but he was strong, mentally and physically and Zaphron had no doubt about that.

"Will you tell me where the child is now Knight-Commander?" he said, almost conversationally.

"Humph." Greagoir groaned. "You think by taking away my lyrium I will spill secrets. I know many and it will take you longer than you have to find out that particular secret," the templar said defiantly, spitting out blood at him.

Zaphron frowned at the droplets of blood on his robes and then smiled at Greagoir.

"Very well then. I hate to do this to a follower of the prophet but I must if she is to be reborn anew. Erin if you would be so kind to help the Knight-Commander remember that particular secret."

Zaphron allowed the mage to approach Greagoir.

"Blood magic, as I'm sure you know Greagoir, has its many uses," Zaphron sickly smiled.

"You are no brother of the Chantry! What are you? Who are you?"

"Who said we were of the Chantry? I am merely a follower of the true gods of this world." He said plainly.

"D-D-Dragon Cult?" Greagoir stammered.

Zaphron sick smile widened and he bent down to Greagoir. His face level with the templar's.

"That is one of its names but it is merely a name. The old gods shall have their vessels and will walk among us again. One has been found we just need the others. Since the witch killed our lady Andraste we will make her own child into one of Andrastes own."

Erin placed his hand around Greagoir's shoulder and began chanting his blood magic ritual. For all Greagoir's templar resistance the man had no chance of fighting against such power and in his weakened state he quickly succumbed to the lull of the fade.

"Now you will tell me what I want to know." Zaphron said smugly. He nodded to Erin and the mage began working on the blood magic weaves for the templar.

_Soon. We shall meet her soon. _

~v~

The tower was unusually quiet. River liked the quiet but there was something unnatural about this type of quiet. She remembered reading somewhere that there is often an unbreakable quiet and stillness before the thrashing and eruption of a great storm. It had been four hours since she'd left Leliana asleep in her room, two hours since she'd met her brother Duncan and only an hour since she'd noticed the growing unease in her stomach and had began wandering the halls.

River stood on the edge of the balcony of the second upper library, her head lay on her hands as they held onto the railing. It was a circular structure within the centre of the tower that spanned the final floors of the tower before the Templar quarters and the Harrowing chamber. The upper library spanned over five floors with the first floor having the librarian's desk and teaching areas. From her position on the top floor River could scan the lower floors quite easily and see the main door of her floor by turning slightly to the left. It was in fact one of Cullen's old posts where he used to watch Ami from, but she didn't know that.

She couldn't shake the feeling that something was coming. If she knew what it was she wouldn't have felt so nervous about it but the fact that she didn't only added to her discomfort. She put it down to not knowing, which didn't used to bother her but after meeting Duncan a lot of things seemed to bother her now, _especially_ the not knowing. She sighed and leant over the railing of the upper library casting her eyes downward. She saw Ser Bryn standing at his post at the main entrance to the upper library but she had already stealthed herself to avoid him seeing her. River noted that he was looking tired and she remembered he hated having night duty, but then she noticed something odd. Another figure brushed passed Ser Bryn and then before she knew it he was on the floor.

River tensed and began to gently tug on the veil so that she could feel its comforting pull. She watched as two shadows, yes there were two of them now, move Ser Bryn away. Then she felt it. The uneasy feeling that she had earlier had arrived and is _in_ the tower. It is here and River knows where it is. She also knows that these people aren't hurting the templar's, she can sense Ser Bryn is just asleep but there is something dark and twisted about these shadows.

It was looking for her now. River could sense it trying to find her, to narrow in on her position within the tower, much like she had done to find Morrigan.

"I want to see you first before you see me." She whispered to herself.

River closed her eyes and concentrated on blocking the 'it' from finding her, _for the moment anyway_ she thought. She let out a long breath and began to descend down the back servant stairs again. She knew she wouldn't be caught by the templar's, some, if not all of them on duty had been now put to sleep.

~v~

"She is here," the figure said quietly through its hood.

Zaphron smiled and bowed to the cloaked shadow that just entered the store room. It remained still and added, again in an eerily quiet voice.

"She knows I'm here."

Zaphron turned back to Greagoir and smiled deviously.

"I told you Greagoir that I would find her. Now the child gets to meet her other side, the flipside of her coin."

Greagoir hung his head, he had failed them, he had failed the King, he had failed Ami and he had failed his son; he had failed in his promise to protect them. Zaphron saw his pained expression and placed a hand on his shoulder. Greagoir jerked his head up and glared through swollen eyelids at the Elder before shrugging off the hand on his shoulder.

"Oh don't worry about your poor templar Greagoir. We have something quite fun for his demise, how fitting it will be to have his own love kill him no?"

Greagoir growled and tried to lunge at Zaphron but the hooded figure pulled him back with just a wave of their hand. He suddenly felt sick and it took nearly all his remaining strength not to vomit right there. The sheer power of the magic behind that pull was mind-blowing. Greagoir sat there thinking that if the stranger's power was a colour and of substance it would definitely be a midnight black and thick like tar. It oozed power, even if restrained and he could feel that it was restrained. He dared a glance at the hooded creature but he couldn't make out any of their features, all he knew was that they are short, young, and powerful and _maker _… they were dangerous. He heard Zaphron chuckle and he walked behind the figure as he circled the room.

"Don't worry Greagoir; he won't die, at least not yet and not soon. My revenge will take its time; it will be slow and agonising. Unfortunately I will not be around to see it but I will feel it when it comes."

"Y-You h-heartless bastard!" Greagoir growled through ragged breaths.

"Me! I am not the one who is heartless, _Templar_. You let the boy live, knowing what would become of him and now it is up to me to change that." Zaphron shook his head and tutted at the broken man. "I'm cleaning up your mess; I will be doing the boy a favour, one that you could not give him at his birth, a means to an end. There are reasons why Wakers should not exist."

Greagoir suddenly burst into tears and sobbed, crying Cullen's name out.

"Cullen. Oh Cullen my boy, oh my boy, I've failed you."

"Hush Greagoir. You have not failed him; I will see he is ended. One way or another." Zaphron said gently patting him on the back.

"Rot you bastard!" he roared, "Rot in the deep parts of hell! She'll die before killing him!" Greagoir battled against the invisible chains, his face reddening in anger.

"Did I say she'd have a choice, friend." He grinned as he stepped back.

Greagoir tried again to lunge again at the Elder but his strength was spent, the black magic still held him and he fought in vain against it. His face was wet from the tears rolling down his cheeks. All he remembered as the fade took him was the cackling laugh of the bastard Zaphron.

"Come child it is time we found what we came for."

Zaphron swept away from the collapsed templar, his cloak dancing behind him as the momentum took it. He felt the hooded figure follow closely behind him then vanish. Zaphron stopped, turned and grinned at the empty hall behind him, the plan was working. They had her phylactery they would no longer need to worry about them finding her and his companion had assured him that Amell wouldn't be able to follow, at least not for a while.

Soon he would have the second vessel, the third was going to be more difficult but he had no doubt once the girl was in his possession she would help them. Even if she wasn't willing, Zaphron had the other and _T__hey_ were more than capable of finding the third. He felt his companion brush against him and his brow furrowed.

"She is blocking me." His shadow said flatly.

Zaphron frowned, "Why? What is wrong?"

"She is … difficult to understand." The hood tiled. "She wants to see me … alone."

Zaphron sighed. The child was smarter than he gave her credit for. She had evaded them for six years until their insider had become closer to the King.

"What do you wish to do?" he asked his short companion.

The cloaked stranger was silent for a few moments before it raised its hooded head and spoke with conviction.

"I want to meet my … sister."

"Then I will wait here. Do not dawdle, we only have so much time before the Templar's wake." He reminded them and then moved back into the store room he and his followers had acquired.

"_I_ will take my time with her. You will remember that it is _you_ that needs me, _I _do not need you." The figure said coldly.

Zaphron tensed and stood still. He glanced at the small individual over his shoulder and they seemed to look directly at him, their eyes piercing into his very soul freezing it from within. He felt himself shudder and nod before walking away from their cold presence.

The hooded figure tightened their robe around themselves and faded into the shadows of the tower. Perhaps the large library with its vaulted ceiling will allow a better audience.

~v~

River had only gone down two of the long flights of the tower before she sensed the presence change. It was no longer searching for her but was now … waiting for her.

"What?" River was confused it was like it was reading her thoughts, no … her feelings. It knew she was blocking it.

She glanced upwards, the library, it was drawn to the library. What better place to be seen but not be noticed but of course the thing that was in the tower would know that. River looked down, then back up the stairs. She _should _wake Leliana, she _should_ find Greagoir and Wynne and she _should_ definitely _not_ go back up to the upper library.

"Sod it." She huffed, "I'm in enough trouble already," and she began walking back up the stairs to the upper library's top floor.

She found herself a few moments later pushing the large heavy door of the upper floors servant passage open a crack. She scanned the immediate area and finding it clear of something or someone she entered pushing the door shut as quietly as possible. She was wary of the silence, _it couldn't be this quiet, something had to make a noise, noise existed in everything didn't it?_ she felt herself saying in her head. The only things she could hear were the crackling of the small magic fires that were scattered about the library and the steady breathes and thumping beats of her heart. She neared the open edge of the floor, the gap between the book shelves, the study desks and the inner railing that somehow kept mages from leaping off the balcony to their deaths. She looked out to the edge and saw nothing, Ser Bryn was still asleep, unharmed somewhere but his culprits had vanished.

River felt her inner ears prick as the presence came close, _very_ close.

She spun around and met the hooded figure standing but a few feet from her, their face was hidden but River could tell it was another girl. There was something about the way they walked in cloaks and wore hoods that to her made them easier to distinguish from men. Though her uncle Zevran was an exception, he was an elf so was very petite and who had often played a woman during his travels for her father. The figure didn't look directly at her but more side on as she ran her fingers against the spines of books on a nearby table.

"So you are River." She said almost inaudibly.

River nodded. Not that she needed to answer the girl but River did it anyway.

"Strange," she replied. River thought if she could see the girls face she'd almost looked surprised by the way she said 'strange'. "I thought you'd be different." River watched as the hood tip upwards. "But mother was right you do look exactly like Amell, from what I know and have seen of her."

River tilted her head at the figure, mimicking her and folded her arms but offered a simple smile.

"I'm sorry but I don't know who you are," she answered gently.

The cloaked girl nodded absently and turned to face River fully, her shoulders dipped and she seemed to take a deep breath before her hands reached up to unfold her hood. As it dropped River was faced with a long, slender girl with brown eyes and short dark chocolate brown hair not much older than herself. If River hadn't had known better she might have mistook her for a boy but as the cloak fell she could tell that that was the intention. She wore a thin black short sleeved tunic with a brown belt across it, black matching thick leggings and thick leather boots. When River's gaze returned to her face she saw a young Morrigan staring back at her.

"Y-you're Morrigan's daughter."

The girl smiled crookedly but River could see it was tinged with a slight sadness at its edges. The way she then grinned also reminded her of someone else but she couldn't place it.

"Yes, I am Asha and," she said astutely and then sighed deeply before continuing, "and I am your older sister."

River felt like she had just had a flash of dé jà vu.

"What?" she said, staring blankly at her.

~v~

* * *

Right, First off apologise for taking soooo long on this update, life got severly in the way and i've been working like a mad woman. So i made this chapter quite long so i hope you will all forgive me.

Shout out to Wolfe's Princess and Leask my beta! I finally have a beta Yay! Please check out their stories if you havn't already both are awesom writers.

Hope you enjoyed the angstyness lol next chapter is going to focus on Cullen, Alistair, Zev and Reggie working things out. Plus Ami meets head to head with some of the evil chantry fiends. Unfortunatly not Zaphron but that will happen eventually.

Thank you and goodnight i'm off to get some well needed rest :P


	18. Blood and Glamour

18. Blood and Glamour

Ami woke with a start and the sudden realisation she had fallen asleep at the reins, again. She could smell the dirt and feel the stones from the ground digging into her back as she looked up at the other faces still astride their horses. She closed her eyes. For once at least her horse had stayed on course and not run her through a tree like the last time she fell off. She groaned and shook her head and out of the slits of her eyelids looked back up at her companions. Cain was staring straight ahead, not focusing on her but staring intently in the direction of their destination, Emisa was just past her left shoulder looking worried, Tork had not yet joined them and Morrigan. Morrigan was sat looking at her with a grim expression. Ami nodded her head at her as the witch moved closer offering her a hand. Ami grasped it tightly and felt her pull, Morrigan squeezed her hand gently, as she rose up off the ground.

"You need rest sister." She said quietly once Ami was close enough.

"What I need is to get to the tower, Morri." She replied gruffly as she mounted her horse again.

"What then, you will beat them down with nothing but exhaustion thrashing them with only your staff? You are no use to her half alive." She scolded.

Ami grinned and peered up at her.

"Are you sure you and Wynne weren't friends? You seemed to have picked up a few of her traits."

Morrigan scowled but then a sly grin appeared.

"Well at least they'll know you have a sense of humour before they kill you." Ami chuckled at that. "Though I would've expected something like that from Alistair but alas he has dumbed even you down. Pity."

Ami chuckled a little louder but moved her horse onward. She then suddenly felt Morrigan grasp her arm and she turned to face the witch.

"Ami. You must be careful." Morrigan warned.

Ami looked at her face, concern and alarm were evident in her gaze as she looked at her. Ami nodded.

"I do not want them taking the only thing that I have left."

Ami cocked her head at her, "We'll find her Morri, we'll find Asha."

Morrigan just shook her head at her and sighed. Ami felt the waves of suspicion resurface. There was something Morrigan wasn't telling her.

"I think I have already lost her. She was not exactly taken, she gladly went with them. When I tried t-to stop her sh-she cast at me."

Morrigan hung her head in what Ami could only describe as shame.

"I fear the old god's soul has corrupted her."

"Morri I must ask you this. Where you going to posses her with the same ritual Flemeth was to use on you?"

Morrigan sighed heavily and nodded. "At first I was but then something unexpected happened. What you taught me about friendship and love changed my mind. I found myself falling in love with her. I could not do it in the end and have never regretted it." _Until now_, but Morrigan didn't add that.

Ami felt proud of her old friend. She had grown these past years in spite of the past and her actions.

"There may still be hope yet for her friend," she said softly.

Hearing Ami call her friend Morrigan looked up and stared into her eyes. Ami smiled warmly back at her and gently squeezed her hand before moving off again.

~v~

"Really I think I have been a good influence on you my good friend Alistair," announced a very contented Zevran.

"Really? In what way?" the ex-templar said turning around in his saddle to look at the elf.

The small group of four were making their way to Denerim from Soldier's Peak a few hours after Ami's departure. Alistair took point, while Zevran followed behind him; then Reggie and finally Cullen taking the rear. Both the templar's wanted to keep an eye on the newly freed rogue but so far in the few hours of their journey the rogue had been nothing but good company.

"Well to begin with my friend. Before you met me you would have thought lying to the chantry would be a sin; not to mention going against your high moral standards."

Alistair humphed at that, while Cullen just chuckled.

"You obviously never met him before he luckily escaped the clutches of the templar oath Zev."

"Oh?" Zevran asked giving over to curiosity.

"What do you mean?" Alistair shouted back.

Again Cullen chuckled, "I remember Greagoir receiving news from the Mother asking him to take on you as a new recruit. If he didn't, the Revered Mother said she was going to end up committing a sin and throttle you herself. She was in constant contact with him telling him of you escapades."

Alistair grinned. "I hated that woman."

"Well she hated you too. You were the most undisciplined templar she ever met apparently." Cullen added.

"Is it just me or does that not bode well for our encounter with her later?" asked Zevran.

"No, we'll be fine. I've met her nearly once a month since I took the blasted throne. She's an old battle-axe but she has warmed to me I think."

"Tell Regg … _I_ mean, tell _me_ again what I have to do?" piped up Reggie. Throughout the journey they had tried to break the habit of Reggie referring to himself in the third person and so far it had been going well.

"You're going to have to act and lie. An easy thing for you rogue types." Alistair joked.

"Humph! I for one Alistair am a very honest rogue. Unless it comes down to the ugly ones, then as I said before, 'death happens'"

"You are despicable." Alistair said shaking his head disapprovingly.

"Yes and why not? The ladies do not love indecisive men. If I remember it was months before you even worked up the courage to tell our dear lovely mage that you wanted to bed her, and even then you ran away!" Zevran piped in.

"Must you be so casual about that!"

Zevran sighed and shook his head, "You Ferelden's are so uptight about these things. Even after six, no seven years you are still far too highly strung about the details of sex and pleasuring yourselves."

Alistair heard Cullen groan and could image that the templar was rolling his eyes.

"I agree with Cullen." He muttered.

"Yes well, you would, both of you have had the pleasure of satisfying that beautiful creature. And to think! If I had come to the party a little sooner I would be with her and neither of you would have lost your virginity. Pity."

"So am I to understand that all three of you are in love with the same woman?" Reggie asked. He looked at the three men with confusion.

"In a sense yes. Alistair got to her first, and then lost her. Kings and Mages are a big Chantry no no!" Zevran quipped.

"Yet again Zevran your tack for subtlety is legendary," muttered an annoyed Alistair.

The elf ignored him and continued.

"_I_ am her best friend and confidant though we are too close now to be anything but that, I find that most depressing on lonely nights." He sighed and pouted. "Cullen over there has spent the last how many years trying _not_ to fall in love with her but is far too much _in_ love to even look at her without thinking about what she looked like naked."

Cullen grunted and scowled at the elf. "Oi!"

"Oh you know it's true! I do it too," he grinned. "Cullen is the only one who has the courage to go with his heart. Templar or not, he wants to be with her. That is what we are attempting to do."

The party went quiet for a few moments.

"Well," Reggie began, "I better brush up on my Orlesian then shouldn't I?"

"Is that a euphemism? That is most excellently played my friend!" chuckled Zevran.

Reggie returned the chuckle and grinned widely. He watched as a sly and cheeky glint passed in the elf's eyes as he looked between the two templars.

"I have a couple of questions for you two, if I may?"

"Whatever about Zevran?" Alistair replied, exasperated with the elf's lurid comments.

"Well, I was just wondering if is there is something in your templar training that gives you the ability to seduce and keep a woman such as our dear Amilia satisfied. As far as she has told me she is quite happy."

"Wh-what!" Alistair swung his horse around and looked at the elf head on.

"There must be something no? I mean she turned down my advances. Mine! And I know I am far more adventurous than you two, especially you Alistair." He pointed to the King in a mocking way and shrugged.

"Hey! I have a wife!" Alistair retorted pointing an accusatory finger at Zevran.

"Yes and that makes what bit of difference?" he replied gesturing widely with his hands.

Reggie tried to stifle a laugh but failed miserably as Alistair glared at them both. He couldn't contain it from the reddening face of the man that was their King and his shoulders shook with trying to suppress it all.

"I'm the King, no-one should talk to me like that!" Alistair announced, trying to put some fear into the assassin. It failed miserably.

"Yes but who put you there? She protects my interests as much as yours. So I get to play my games with you."

"Bloody Antivan!" Alistair growled.

"Well yes! So will you answer my question? Did her face contort into an expression of intense pleasure?"

"What?" Both Alistair and Cullen exclaimed at the same time. Zevran looked between them again, shook his head and sighed.

"Please tell you have both been able to satisfy her accordingly? Or did she fake it?" he cocked an eyebrow at the two as confusion and realisation slowly dawned on them.

"Fake. It." Cullen lulled over. His face was a beetroot red and Zevran glanced back at Alistair whose eyes were wide as he sat thinking.

"They can do that?" Alistair bemused casting a side glance at Cullen. Cullen shrugged trying not to meet any of their gazes as they were all intently on him.

"Oh." The assassin replied struggling to hold himself together.

"Judging by their reactions Zevran I don't think they knew that," answered Reggie who sniggered at him. He was equally enjoying making the two other men squirm. Zevran decided to push it just a little further.

"Have neither of you faked it?"

Both men spun around, mouths hung open and stuttering.

"Wh-what?"

"Well, you know what it is like when you are tired and have a long day and all you want to do is sleep and …"

"Wait! You've faked it?" Alistair shouted, a little too loudly.

"Of course Alistair! There are times when the lady has been too much for even myself to handle. But still I am curious, you have never faked it, either of you?"

"I'm not talking anymore," grumbled Alistair. He nudged his horse forward more urgently trying to put some distance between him and the perverted elf.

"What about you Cullen?"

"Shut up Zev. If you know what is good for you shut up." The templar growled and moved to join Alistair taking point.

"Ugh! Will it never sink in with you two? I only offer adv-"

"Shut up Zev!" both templar's shouted.

"Very well then. I feel my Leliana would have been more useful than I but alas my bardic flower is not here." He answered sighing and casting a slight grin at Reggie.

"So are you two an item now?" Alistair replied, forgetting that he was not talking to the elf.

"Alistair, I would not say item. Leliana would say it is a little of this and a little of that but it is fun no? She is more complex and intriguing than I had given her credit for when we first met. She was taught well."

Alistair could hear the undertones of that particular comment and shook his head.

"Assassins, I'll never understand your kind," muttered Alistair.

"And you are missing out on a great deal of fun and experience my friend."

"I think I liked it better when you didn't talk to me. Or liked me for that matter, at least the flirting I could handle." He moaned.

Zevran let out a hearty laugh. "Yes but you were not experienced and it was gentle fun then than the exquisite fun I can have now no?"

Alistair didn't answer neither did Cullen. The two templar's didn't exactly want to talk about their relationship with Ami with an audience, especially with each other and especially not with Zevran. The four men travelled the rest of the way to Denerim in relative silence unless it was to school Reggie in his act of the Orlesian Warden.

~v~

The tower looked quiet sitting in the middle of the bay. The lake was calm and the sky appeared relatively clear with only a few wisps of cloud. Ami was of course, not fooled by the pretence of the stillness of the tower and its surroundings. She scanned the area from the top of the small hill that overlooked the coastline and the tower. It was all a little too quiet and she felt the sense that something sinister was at work. She couldn't quite describe it; it was a foul taste in her mouth that no matter how much she tried to rid herself of remained stuck against the walls of it.

She could slowly feel the presence of another warden approach them. Tork. He would be able to give her more of an assessment of what the situation was. As far as she could see things looked relatively normal but Kester was nowhere to be seen and that was enough for her suspicions. She raised her hood to fight against the cold breeze.

"What news Tork?" she asked the rogue as he approached.

"The tower is cut off. The majority of the boats are either sunk or burnt. Kester was held up in his hut but he's fine Commander."

"Does he know anything?"

Tork shook his head, "He only knows that at least five boatloads of men went over to the tower before they locked him away. One was a blood mage he said, because he had seen him before."

"Maker have mercy!" exclaimed Emisa.

"Your foolish god will offer no help here. Again the tower is over run, how original." Morrigan muttered.

"Enough," Ami said raising her hand to quell the discussion. "Tork is there anything else going on nearby? It's a little too quiet."

Tork only nodded and turned to point in the direction of the Princess.

"There are a number of folk holed up in the tavern but they are all locals. As soon as they saw this lot they scampered off into there and haven't come out since. I think they're waiting on us to deal with 'em."

Ami nodded. "Then let us see who has tried to take the tower, again."

She moved her horse forward as the others slowly followed her. As they reached near the edge of the lake Ami jumped down from her mount and cast a long look over the expanse of the lake. She could hear Cain mumbling behind her to Morrigan about how they were going to cross.

"You have more in common with that fool King than I first thought," Morrigan replied.

"Oh really?" Cain asked, sounding hopeful.

"Yes he too wasn't very intelligent. We're mages, what do you expect us to do? Watch fool."

Morrigan pointed towards Ami, who was now crouched at the edge of the lake planning a complicated spell. Cain and the other wardens just watched in amazement as their Commander's hands slowly radiated an eerie blue and shot ice crystals to the nearby water. Cain glanced at Morrigan who had now appeared by Ami's side helping push the flow of ice further into the lake. Together the two mages created a narrow bridge of ice two people across connecting the land to the tower. Ami let out a long sigh and slowly rose, she rested her hands on her knees, doubled over, a small drop sweat dripping down her cheek, before standing fully upright. She turned to her wardens.

"Shall we then?"

They began to walk the distance between the shore and the tower and all the way Ami was planning for the possible battles ahead. Another battle in the tower but this time it was her daughter at stake.

Ami walked at the head of the group, there was no way she was letting one her sword wielding companions get ahead of her when they confronted whoever was here. She pulled her tattered cloak closer to her, its hood dipped forward covering the bulk of her face as she walked on. From a distance she looked like a regular traveller but the closer someone came the feeling of power within her rolled off in waves. Hidden in her cloak she put the fear of the maker in people. Only when her hood fell from her face did people realise who she was and why they should fear her. The Hero of Ferelden and the joint Commander of the Grey was not someone to toy with.

"Tork," she said as she stopped in the middle of the ice bridge. The dwarf came forward and stood by her right side. "Scout it out will you and keep to the shadows." The dwarf nodded and stealthed quickly brushing past Ami and headed off. Cain came up behind her.

"What is it?" he asked quietly.

Ami shook her head. "Something isn't right. It's too still, they are expecting us I know it but why don't they attack? We're sitting du-".

Ami stopped her eyes wide and suddenly she was crouched and throwing herself forward. "GET DOWN!"

Suddenly a fireball hit the bridge engulfing it behind them. Her companions hit the ground hard as they heard and saw the raging flames behind them. Cain looked for Ami and saw her bracing herself a few feet in front of them. She was kneeling, her palms outstretched on the ice casting profusely. He turned to his left to see Morrigan casting too, shooting spells in the direction of their attackers. Lightning and arcane bolts were exchanged from either side and he again turned his gaze back to Ami. There was nothing he or the other wardens could do. Emisa was out of range for her templar skills but she cocked out her bow and was firing. Cain just stood there watching the two mages wreak hell. Ami now stood, chanting something then raising her hands she cast towards the mage seeking them out.

He felt the spell hit its mark. Crushing Prison. The attacks stopped suddenly and he broke off in a run to find the cursed mage. He passed Ami but she quickly shouted for the others to follow and he soon discovered why. Cracks had appeared in the bridge. If they didn't make it to the towers shore soon they'd be dead. Lake Calenhad had a history of eating poor unfortunate souls that were tossed at its mercy. Cain slid across the last few feet of ice and felt his boots connect with soft ground before he was then struck by another body who had closely followed after him. It was Morrigan and they landed in an awkward embrace. He looked up to see her lying on top of him and he couldn't help but grin and look happy about it.

"Let me up you fool!" she growled as she tried to untangle her trapped necklace from his plate armour.

"Well if you'd stop fighting I'd oblige! Patience woman!" he took her hands and moved them away. She was just inches from his face but he resisted the urge to close the distance, now was certainly not the time for that. He felt along the path of her necklace and finding the trapped gem unhooked it, it had caught itself in one of his buckles, and handed it to her. "There. Now you are free," he said barely above a whisper.

Morrigan blinked as she felt his gloved hand place the gem into her palm. He wrapped his fingers around her hand and held her gaze; he wasn't sure if she would bolt like a deer or kiss him by the way her eyes widened. She slowly sat up, her hand absently brushing across his chest plate and blushed. He refused to let her drop the gaze and felt that something had passed between them. The moment was interrupted by the shouts of the others and they quickly scrambled to their feet.

"Ami!" Morrigan shouted.

"Here!" came the reply.

A short distance away they could make her cloaked figure out. The hood had fallen and now she was battling what appeared to be a man in armour.

"Is that a TEMPLAR?" Bellowed Cain.

"Blood Magic," growled Morrigan. "He's bewitched and under it's influence. We need to find the mage! Come!"

"Where is Emisa?" he asked looking for the elf.

"We won't need her. Ami's spell will not last much longer then they will be able to sling balls of fire at us again. MOVE!"

It didn't take them long to find the trapped mage. He had his arms outstretched apparently about to cast something when Ami's own spell had stopped him. His eyes shifted to the two that approached him and Cain could tell if the man had the ability to move he would be grinning. Just as they closed in the holding spell failed and the mage began to move, casting anew. Cain didn't hesitate and flung one of his short daggers into the mages throat and then another at his heart for good measure.

Morrigan stood still and sighed. "Impressive." And she was impressed, casting him a sidelong glance a small hint of a smile playing across her lips.

Cain nodded and moved towards the body, quickly retrieving his daggers, cleaning them and returning them to their sheaths at his lower back.

"Come on lets see if the Templar remembers himself."

As they ran back towards Ami it was apparent that they hadn't made it in time. The crumbled form of the templar stood below Ami as she stood, panting heavily above him. There had been no choice but to kill him. Morrigan came up to her friend's side and examined a large gash on her cheek and her hand glowed as she began to perform a healing spell. Ami suddenly shoved her away her eyes ablaze. Morrigan shrunk away shocked.

"Bastards. Fucking bastards!" she growled. Her hands went to her knees as she shook with exhaustion and anger.

"It's Carrol," announced Emisa sadly.

"I killed the mage. I should've been faster!" Cain shouted.

Ami shook her head. "This isn't blood magic. Well, it is but its nothing like any I've come across before. It's darker, more corrupted than anything I've dealt with."

"Maker's mercy!" Emisa sighed.

"What is it then?" Tork asked.

"I don't know, but I know for a fact there is a blood mage here I can smell them. It's not them that's doing that," she pointed to Carrol, "But they are certainly here."

"The creature that did this is here no longer," muttered Morrigan and Ami nodded. "It has moved on."

"With River in tow." Ami said pulling herself up and glaring at the tower.

"They've left something in the tower haven't they?" Cain asked, knowing the answer would be yes just by looking at Ami, Morrigan and Emisa's faces.

The three women nodded. They could feel it.

"It's not just what they've left it's who they've left it with. Whatever was here left power behind and someone is using it," Ami added through gritted teeth.

"Well shall we go and give em Blighters a beating then?" answered Tork.

"I'm gonna give them more than a beating Tork, they'll see why they don't mess with a Grey Warden," replied Ami, her eyes dark with determination and anger.

"Ami," breathed Morrigan, she looked at her with fear.

"Don't worry Morri, I'll leave some for you."

She walked forward, unclasping her cloak with one hand and the other performing the summoning signs for her staff. It appeared in her hand and she drove it into the ground while she cast another spell. She held up her hand and looked at her palm. Suddenly a crackling ball of shining electricity formed and began to grow in intensity.

"If I were you I'd duck." Morrigan said, backing away from Ami and retreating near a large escarpment of rock.

Seeing the fear in Morrigan's eyes the three Wardens took to their heels and joined her watching their Commander cast. Clouds began forming around the tower and they could feel the rumble of thunder shake the ground beneath them.

"Has she done this before?" Shouted Cain, his voice was almost drowned out by the large boom and clash of lightning striking close by. Morrigan laughed, these Wardens knew nothing of her sister's true power.

"She is an elemental mage! Her powers work best with her element, that being lightning!"

"That still doesn't answer my question!" Cain shouted again. The wind began to pick up and howl.

"You did hear of the mass lightning storm that covered Denerim for miles during the final battle?" Morrigan replied cocking her head at him.

How could any of them not remember hearing about that? The storm had raged and lightning struck down countless more darkspawn than any battlement of men, dwarfs, elves and mages. The three wardens looked at each other and then glanced back at their commander. She was weaving a mass of blue energy in her palms, chanting as she pulled more power into it. A lightning bolt struck close to where she was standing breaking the stone in two but they watched as she didn't even flinch. They watched as it then crawled along the ground and entered her staff. Her hair whipped about her and the ends of her robes blew around her form as the storm picked up momentum. Her hands clasped around the blue energy and she threw it into the air. The tension in the air exploded as a bolt lightning hit the mass of energy creating a small shock wave of light than passed into Ami's staff. The branch glowed as the sheer amount of power flowed into it.

"Ahh!" Morrigan yelled in realisation. "Clever sister."

"What?"

"She's tapping into her powers and storing it in her staff. Watch!"

Cain could barely hear anything except the booming and crackling of the storm that had now began to rage above them. No-one could survive in this.

"We need to get out of this!" he yelled. Morrigan just laughed and shook her head.

"You people understand nothing!" she pointed above them.

Cain twisted his neck upwards and saw the faint glint of an energy barrier above them. He hadn't even noticed the rain and its tapping as it hit against the almost invisible barrier. Again Morrigan laughed at their expressions.

"What? Do you think that after going through a Blight she would not become death on the battlefield? And protect her allies too?"

They watched as the lightning slowly subsided into small flashes and Ami's hands slowly reached for her cloak. It was then Cain realised he knew what spell it was, Tempest, but on a massive scale. She didn't even look tired after casting it, she seemed to draw the energy required from the lightning itself. _No, that is __**exactly**__ what she did_, he thought. He was struck by a mixture of fear and awe at his leader and knew why she would seek a life of quiet than of action and constant fear. She was fear. She stood with her eyes closed, her hands at her side, palms open with electricity bouncing between her fingers and breathing deeply. She tilted her chin up and turned in their direction. Without opening her eyes she looked at them, commanding and composed.

"Let us dance then shall we?" she whispered to herself.

She turned and walked towards the tower picking up her charged staff and placing it at her back. Morrigan followed after her, her walk confident but she kept some distance from Ami's back as the staff emanated sparks and jolts of electricity.

"Maker help me if I have to strike her down," mumbled an alarmed Emisa. She slowly stood and looked in wonder.

Cain chortled nervously and nodded. "Andrastes flaming cunt I'm _never_ getting on her bad side."

A short distance away they could hear Morrigan laughing quietly to herself as the three wardens caught up with her.

_Gods help the fools that cross her path_, Morrigan thought.

~v~

"It itches!" moaned Reggie as he scratched at the glamour.

"Stop fidgeting! You'll take it off and we'll have to start all over again!" grumbled Cullen.

They had arrived in Arl Eamon's estate a few hours ago before dark and took the evening to try and fit Reggie out in some Orlesian gear before heading to their chambers. The morning had greeted the poor rogue with Cullen and Zevran trying to fit some facial hair and make-up to help the young man appear older.

"Can't I just get a wig? I hear long hair helps age men."

"No." both Zevran and Cullen said disapprovingly. Reggie looked deflated but he nodded and tried not to scratch the annoying make-shift beard that they had made him wear.

He was looking at himself in the mirror and was quite surprised. He did look older, if a little odd to himself. The armour he wore was heavier than his normal studded leathers but it bore the Grey Warden insignia on the buckles and on its left shoulder. He especially liked the boots. He twisted his foot around to see the detailed metal and leather work on the edges and positively glowed with delight. These were the most exquisite clothes and armour he had ever worn in his life and his faced beamed with pride as Alistair walked in nodding his approval.

"Now I thought we'd discuss what you should say and how you should act in front of her grace," Alistair said reassuringly.

Reggie nodded. "I don't think I will be able to pull off the accent but I thought if I told her that I was born in Ferelden then taken to Orlais I think that should cover it."

Alistair nodded and smiled. "Good idea. Your accent did worry me slightly but attempt to slant your Ferelden one."

Again Reggie nodded.

"Good. Now I suppose you have dealt with the Chantry before?"

"Only the local Revered Mother, no-one so intimidating," he answered honestly.

"Well she is a stickler for protocol. Don't speak unless she has spoken or asked a question. Hold yourself with grace which for you should be easy enough and do not turn your back on her unless she lets you know you can leave."

"You've had bad experience of this Alistair?" asked Zevran.

"Believe me she is a scary woman when you forget the formalities. She didn't approve of any of my actions for weeks until I apologised." Alistair replied rolling his eyes.

"It might also help if you mention the Chantry's position in Orlais. If you make it sound that mage Wardens are distrusted more than regular mages it'll come across that you support the Chantry's position and she'll warm more to the idea." Cullen added.

"What if she asks about just having regular Templar's follow her?" Reggie asked, now feeling nervous about his task.

"You could tell her that Warden Secrets must remain between Wardens." Cullen offered. "Relate it to Chantry ones for example. Since the only Warden that is also a Templar is the King you need someone who is trained as both and is both loyal to the crown and the Chantry."

"That's where I come in," added Alistair. "I will recommend Cullen, with Gregoir's approval and recommendation. I will tell the Mother that there is no other Templar other than myself that could stand against her with the experience of dealing with abominations and demons."

The room went quiet and Reggie ran a hand threw his hair and blew out a long contained breath. He glanced at Alistair who was stood leaning against the wall, then at Cullen who sat in a seat nearby hunched over, his head held up by his hands. He finally rested his eyes on the Antivan who smiled warmly at his side and clasped a hand over his shoulder reassuringly.

"You will be fine my friend. I have faith in you."

"When do we leave?"

"In an hour. I suggest you make sure your armour and weapons are presentable and you're ready in the courtyard for that time," Alistair answered before taking his leave to get himself prepared.

"I can't believe this is actually happening," Cullen said anxiously.

"I hope this works. Or we're all going to be answering to your lady," mumbled Reggie.

Cullen stood and looked out the window that overlooked the Arl's estate but he wasn't looking at it or the surrounding buildings of Denerim. He looked westwards. He was looking in the direction of the tower and hoping his love was safe and that River was fine. He couldn't think about it and turned back to Reggie who had again started fiddling with the bits of his beard.

"Here. We'll see if we can't make you a bit more comfortable. If she asks why you're scratching at it you better come up with an excuse though!" he chided, swatting the rogues hands away from his face.

~v~

Four found alive and well, thirteen injured, twelve gone or missing and nine dead. That was the count so far among the apprentice mages. The senior mages were different and the templars, they were a completely different matter. Ami couldn't believe her eyes as she saw people who she had lived with and shared her home with branded their gift or their swords at her as she attempted to make her way through the tower. Mages and templar's alike had turned on each other regardless. There was blood everywhere. She couldn't remember the last time she slept, she couldn't remember the last time she ate or when they had even arrived at the tower. A day, two days. It all seemed to roll into one long never ending nightmare.

They still hadn't found Gregoir _or_ Wynne _or_ Leliana yet. They had found a number of senior mages that were coherent and able to help calm the templars that Ami had been able to reason with. She had even found a number of the templars had been drugged and were wandering the halls in confusion. She redirected them to the lower library where they had cleared and made safe, a few protested but her insistence and logic won them over.

Ami was bone tired but she knew she wouldn't, _no_ couldn't rest until the Circle was cleared of the evil that had filled it. Petra, who had insisted in following, was nittering in her ear arguing with her to rest. The healer was very much like Wynne and it took almost all of Ami's self control from slapping her to make her shut up. Morrigan thankfully did, tell her that is, to kindly shut up.

They were climbing the stairs to the Upper Library when Ami sensed it. The evil thing that had control over the raging lunatics on the floors below was up ahead. Ami wretched what remained in her stomach into a pot plant that was conveniently nearby. Morrigan was quickly at her side as she panted heavily but she pushed her hands away.

"Don't Morri. I'll be fine!"

"Yes before or after whatever is in there kills you? We have time rest sister."

Ami shook her head and narrowed her eyes on the large doors of the Upper Library. "This ends now."

Ami stood up straight, relaxed her shoulders and outstretched her hand. She mentally focused and gripped her hand, as she jerked it back the energy blew and pulled the doors off their hinges. Morrigan, Petra and the Wardens ducked as the sheer force of the blow sent bits of wood and metal flying at them. Ami walked on undaunted as the pieces of wood scratched and tore at her robes. She walked in and immediately her gaze was drawn upwards to the poor sods that hung unceremoniously from the upper floors railings. Apprentices, mages and templars alike.

"So the witch has decided to join us then. Aren't I lucky?" Cackled the male voice.

Ami dropped her gaze from the hanging bodies above to the monster that now sat before her in the librarian's chair. The chair slowly spun around showing the mage as a balding middle aged man with dark circles around his once bright blue eyes. He sat back in the chair with his fingers entwined looking at Ami and her companions across the large desk.

"Shall we dance?" Ami offered with a faint grin.

Ami unhooked her staff from her back and drove it mercilessly into the alabaster stone in front of her. She breathed in deeply and faced down the beast that was before her. The blood mage merely grinned at her as he stood and began rolling up his sleeves readying himself. She cocked her head as out of the corner of her eyes she saw movement and then a flurry of crazies descended upon them all. They would be overwhelmed if she didn't do something.

* * *

Thanks to all who have read and please please review! I love hearing back how the story is going.

Special thanks to my Beta! Leask! You are awesome! She is a great help for bouncing off my crazy ideas too. Well i hope Ami didn't scare you too much and the Zev, Cullen and Alistair convo made you all laugh! I really enjoyed writing that after me and Leask talked about it.

Next chapter is going to mainly be the Revered Mother and Reggie discussing Cullen, with all the boys except Zevran there. There will be a lilttle snippet of River and Asha but it will be mainly the background stuff that is being laid out for the next few chapters.

Hope you've all enjoyed and please review!


	19. To the Tower

19. To the Tower

As the flurry of crazies descended upon Ami she quickly pulled her staff from the ground and swung it around herself, knocking back four of the mages that sought to swamp her. She quickly spun to one side and using the staff knocked another two on the floor, one in the face and the other in the chest. They hit the ground hard and with a definite crack as she continued her defence. She cast a chain of lightning spell that fell another four including two templars. Morrigan had now joined her and had transformed into her giant spider form capturing the crazed mages and templar's in webbing so they could be dealt with later. Emisa was draining them of what mana they had but her templar skills were limited as was her experience. Cullen and Alistair had only begun her training a few months back and even if they had called her a promising student, she had little actual experience. Cain followed suit and was trying his best not to hurt any of the templar's as he charged passed the others to Ami's side.

They stood back to back. Ami was crouched low, her staff held in a defensive stance pointing towards the swarm of crazies and in her other hand a radiating glow of green energy. Cain stood behind her with his two longswords raised ready for the first crazy to come near. He tested them by swinging them in a circle, poised and ready he nodded at Ami. The wild army were disorganised and ultimately crazed by the power that had been left behind. This gave Ami and her companions an advantage, if barely. Then suddenly the wave of bodies began again.

Cain arched his swords in a duel sweep that sliced down the front of a mage. His next move elbowed the following mage, and then caught their neck in a clean flowing swipe from his sword. Two down. He spun and stuck another through the chest as they came to attack him from behind and then ducked as a two-handed sword of mercy nearly cleaved his head off his shoulders. He backed away from the templar. He glanced back towards Ami who was handling herself better than he was.

Cain had a problem. In fact he had a huge, three hundred pounds problem with thick plate armour and years of hard drilled training, staring at him with wide, mad and possibly lyrium withdrawal eyes. The templar twitched and Cain found himself fighting a killing machine with a giant sword.

Ami was faring better. She had been able to incapacitate the majority of her demented attackers though not without sustaining injury. Her target was having fun throwing hexes at her, making her unbalanced and disoriented. She had shrugged off his hexes but not without suffering from his misdirection hex which had found her at the mercy of a few of the mages. Luckily her combat training had allowed her to parry them with her staff and area of effect spells.

She was now dressed in mere rags; her robes ruined and soaked in blood. The blood was mainly her own but a large amount belonged to a poor mage she had given mercy to a few floors down. She also had a large gash that cut through her left knee making her favour her right but she wasn't about to let these minor problems stop her from her goal.

Ami looked around her. This mad skirmish needed to end, now. She stamped her staff onto the alabaster flagstones and raised her hand into the air casting a mind blast to all nearby. She refocused and quickly took off towards the librarian's desk where the mage had stood while the others rounded up the stunned residents with the help of Morrigan's spider form and secured the room. The mage had fled into the back of the library and Ami followed, smelling him out like a mabari. The foul taste of blood magic was like acid in her throat and it burned further as she drew near him. She stopped as she reached the study quarter near the back of the library. It was an open clearing with mainly desks and chairs with the only shelves at the back wall and enclosing the large clearing.

"Who are you?" she demanded into the gloom. Her eyes examined the large room intensely.

"My name is Erin and I am eager to see how you fair, Miss Amell," he replied.

Ami turned her head to see him come out from behind a bookcase and glowered at him.

"What have you done?" she snarled.

The older man grinned and set his gaze lower and away from her. Ami noticed that he held a small blade at his side and she knew he was readying himself to use blood magic on her. She growled as he continued to evade her question and asked him again, this time holding her staff out at him.

"You will tell me or Maker help me, I will make you suffer so that you'll be _begging_ me to end your life!" she spat.

Erin's grin grew wider and he began to openly play with the blade, taunting her with it.

"I will tell you that I have only unleashed something that was trapped. What it is does not matter. You should be more concerned about where your loyalties lie in future." He pointed the blade at her and smiled. "My task is complete, but I wished a little fun before I met my end and I have had such fun _Amell_."

The way this _Erin_, said her name sent shivers down Ami's spine. He referred to her name as a lover would and it made her skin crawl. Ami visibly shivered at the thought, he disgusted her, and he had murdered and crazed innocent people for … fun!

_If I wasn't going to kill him before I definitely am now!_ She heard her mind say. _Bastard is going to pay for all the people he's hurt! _

Ami's gaze hardened and she looked with fierce eyes at the man. He returned her gaze with a toothy smile as his hands sliced the own palm, blood dribbling down his wrist to his elbow. Ami set her staff in front of her and closed her eyes. She tapped it once and a large bolt of electricity shot out across the floor towards the blood mage. The sound of the electricity crackling and fizzing dulled the senses of anyone close by and Ami smiled, closing her eyes. But she shortly dropped it when she re-opened her eyes at the sudden jarring pain of an arrow through her right calf. She dropped to her left knee and shrieked out in pain from the new wound. And then she sensed it. The bastard mage had a puppet.

Ami turned to see Leliana dressed in her full rogue gear brandishing Marjolaine's bow at her. She could see the sheer terror in her friend's eyes as the bow shook in her grasp. Leliana was desperately trying to fight against the mages control over her.

"I couldn't stop it Ami!" she screamed.

Ami nodded, meeting her gaze winked and then tapped her staff again. Another bolt of electricity left the staff and hit Leliana square on the chest, knocking her back unconscious. As Ami turned back to her target she noticed his once toothy grinned face was now a scowl as he looked at Leliana's motionless form.

"Pity. I was looking forward to toying with her." He said turning back to Ami and smiling wider. "It would've been nice to see how you faired against a friend."

"You have my attention now that should suffice, no?" Ami bluntly replied as she pulled herself up to stand with the help of her staff.

She saw a flicker of light that glinted in the man's eyes and their battle renewed. Erin threw up his arms and a torrent of spells and hexes came at her but she deflected, dispelled and returned them promptly. For all Ami's counters and measures against him, he was as skilled and powerful mage as her, he wouldn't be easily taken down. She was faulting and the power she had stored in her staff was quickly becoming spent as was she.

Mage duels and battles were always long ranged but Ami did enjoy close combat, but every time she got even close, Erin would slip away into the shadows. She growled in frustration and suddenly she felt the jab of his blade sinking into her left side then quickly being yanked out. _Damn it!_ She had left herself open and she cursed herself for her foolishness. She crashed to her knees once again, her free hand reaching to her new wound trying to stall the bleeding. She pulled on the veil to summon some healing magic but knew that the wound was deep and would require more work than her basic healing skills allowed. _Bloody Blood mages and their bloody blood magic and their bloody knives_ she cursed. Then she heard him laughing at her and he appeared in front of her, twenty paces away. He raised his hands readying himself to cast again.

_This man is good but I'm not done yet_, Ami thought bitterly, she had her own secret weapon. Ami stood up her hand still clutching her side and her hair was soaked with blood and grime as she panted heavily. She watched him begin to cast a fireball spell and quickly threw herself behind an overturned desk. She winched as she felt her body slam against the heavy wood as the blast exploded behind her. She tried to slow her breathing but she was having difficulty drawing breath. She could feel the blood in her lungs, _damn it_! She needed to be calm to draw on the fade. It was her final option and she welcomed it. Crouching behind the overturned desk, Ami shakily cast her fade shroud and became the ghostly presence that stalked both the fade and reality. She stood and looked for Erin with her unseeing eyes and found his shadow, she outstretched her hand and staff and cast the Crushing prison spell and smiled. She had finally caught the bastard.

She limped, heavily leaning on her staff, over to the trapped man. She could feel the spell's gripping hold over him, trying to break his will and body under its strength. Ami cast a paralyse glyph underneath him and then set wards around him dispelling magic within the small circle she had surrounded him with.

"Now you shall answer my questions. And if I don't get the right answer you _will_ beg me to kill you after I'm done having _my_ fun." She sneered through ragged breaths.

Erin looked at her with that chilling grin, closed his eyes and began chuckling loudly. His chuckle soon developed into hysterics and then mad crazed laughter that made Ami take a step back from him. He was completely and utterly insane and Ami just gawked at him in disbelief as he tried to compose himself.

"Your fun. Ha!" he chuckled. "My fun has only begun little one. You have no idea what I've done and Maker," he shook his head with what Ami could only describe as glee, "I will enjoy watching it from the fade."

Suddenly he moved. How, Ami had no idea but he moved and pulled out a vial and Ami knew instantly what it was. She moved as quickly as she could and jumped again behind the upturned desk as the shock bomb was thrown to the ground. She saw the remains of Erin's limbs fly overhead as the shock wave rocked behind her. Ami shuddered as she felt the remains fall over her and the immediate area. The shock of the blast rang in her ears and she had a short moment of panic as someone grabbed her and pulled her against them. She gasped and then smiled as she saw it was Cain who gripped her shoulders. He was shouting something at her but she couldn't hear him, the ringing of the blast had dulled her senses. As she looked closer she saw panic and fear in his eyes.

_What is he so afraid of?_ She wondered slightly annoyed at him. She wanted to reassure him but she couldn't move her arm, _why?_ She could vaguely feel him pulling her closer and he was yelling at someone. Petra came into her view, white and chalked faced as she looked down at her. Realisation slowly came. _Oh … I'm hurt_, she thought solemnly, _bastard blood mage I can't die now! The hero of Ferelden killed by a Shock Bomb, how fitting!_ She added sarcastically. She felt sleepy after that, _maybe a nap would be a good idea after all the work I have just done_.

Then there was blackness.

~v~

"How can you be so calm?" spluttered Alistair.

He looked at Cullen expectantly as they stood waiting to be called by Her Grace. Cullen just shrugged and adjusted his stance in his templar regalia.

"I suppose after more than ten years of watching hallways and mages for something to happen, waiting in a different hallway seems of little importance. We have done all we can, it is up to the Maker now and luck." Cullen calmly said. He didn't actually feel that but he knew if this was to work he had to remain calm and controlled.

"Well I'm worried. He's been in there an awful long time. Ami will kill me if this doesn't work." Alistair replied, running a nervous hand through his hair.

Cullen just let out a short chuckle while trying to cover up his own unease. Truthfully he was more worried about what was going on at the tower than here in Denerim. He wished he had gone with her. He had a bad feeling she needed him and the only thing that gave him comfort was the ring on his finger as he idly rubbed it with his fingers. The door in front of them creaked open and a servant came out and announced they could enter to see Her Grace.

Alistair entered first, closely followed by Cullen. As they entered the room Alistair bowed low to the Revered Mother thanking her for taking the time to see them. Cullen stood at his left side and did the customary crossed arm bow to her and remained silent. He could see Reggie nearby wearing an unreadable expression but tried to hide his growing unease. The Revered Mother sat at her large desk and greeted them with a smile.

"May the Maker bless you King Alistair. What is it that you wish to add to the discussion?" She replied softly.

"As the Warden may have already discussed, your Reverence, it is the Hero of Ferelden we have come to discuss with you about."

She nodded and beckoned them all to approach the desk where she and Reggie sat at. The intimidating desk made the Revered Mother look like a child, it was far to large and had a large stack of papers on one side while in front of her sat a number of quills and seals while on the other side sat a jug of water and several glasses. Reggie sat in the first seat, while Alistair took the remaining chair next to him. Cullen remained standing, it was not customary for him to sit but to watch and wait like his duty demanded.

"I have heard tales of late that she travels far and wide recruiting into the order and that you Ser Cullen have travelled with her." The Mother asked looking up at Cullen.

Cullen nodded, unsure whether to reply or not but thankfully Reggie picked up on his uncertainty.

"It was I that requested it, your Reverence. As I mentioned, before your highness arrived that is," nodding to Alistair, "the Wardens of Orlais are not in the practice of letting our mages wander about unchecked."

The Revered Mother tilted her head and smiled. "Really?" she raised an eyebrow. "That is a most wise decision Warden. I had heard that there were other reasons why Ser Cullen would be accompanying the mage. I am glad this is not the case."

In his mind Cullen growled but he quickly calmed his thoughts as Alistair continued reinforcing Reggie by chuckling and waving dismissively.

"You have no fear of that your Reverence. As I am sure you are aware, Cullen's experience with mages during the Blight has only reinforced his belief in the Chantry's policy. When Reginal first came with the proposal I saw no other who would suit the role."

"This has nothing to do with the fact she and you have a history your highness?" she asked tentatively.

Cullen knew then she was trying to see if there was some other motive for this request.

"No, none." Alistair said simply meeting her gaze. "Though I can see how that might be your first thought. This is a Warden matter. She _is_ a dear friend and this is why I wanted to put forward someone I trusted, if the deed needed to be done. I would want no other to put her down than a man I trust and know who would be up to the task."

"So you wish me to release him from his oath?" she asked thoughtfully.

"Yes." Both Alistair and Reggie said.

"Surely he can just remain a Templar and remain at her side?" she replied puzzled by the need for such a thing. "I do not see why Cullen must be released from his oath?"

"I am afraid not your Reverence." Reggie replied, shaking his head sadly. "As I am sure you know Grey Wardens are the keeper of many secrets as I am sure the Chantry is. In this case we can only allow Wardens who are trained as Templar's to watch Mage Wardens. There are just things one cannot be allowed to see and do unless they are a Warden." Reggie explained.

Cullen was surprised at how well he was playing being a warden. He carried himself well, his disguise was working, he spoke with confidence and authority and Cullen felt that if he had not been privy to the plan itself he surely would've thought him a Warden just from his performance. Cullen even thought he put Alistair to shame as a Warden the way the boy filled in the role with ease. The rouse was working but it was too early to be celebrating yet.

"Besides myself there are no Templar Wardens in Ferelden or any available ones in the rest of the order. This is why we would request Cullen. He already knows Miss Amell and Jowan, he knows how powerful they are and he knows how to take them down should the unfortunate happen. He will be bound by his oath to the Wardens not to divulge any secrets be them Chantry or Warden to anyone. As I have done." Alistair added reassuringly.

The Revered Mother went quite for a few moments considering the points the two men had raised. Cullen had no doubt she was weighing the pros and cons of the idea as she glanced back up at them. She looked between the men and pursed her lips while nodding her final thought on the matter.

"I can see that a lot of thought has gone into this, am I right?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at the two Wardens.

Alistair nodded and sighed, "It has only recently come up due to the rise in rogue mages in Orlais." He said attempting to twist the knife in deeper. "Reginal wrote to me and asked me to pick someone I knew we could all trust. I hope you won't have any objections to having such powerful mages watched." Alistair said smiling at her.

The Revered Mother smiled, "I am actually pleased you have taken this route your Majesty. I am most surprised at the amount of wisdom you have shown, though I would like to hear Cullen's thoughts on this."

Cullen looked up at her and tried to hide his relief that their plan was working. He again performed the customary bow to her and shifted into a more comfortable stance.

"Yes Revered Mother, what would you like to know?" he asked.

"How do you feel about leaving the Chantry and joining the Grey Wardens? Do you feel it is what the Maker has planned for you?" she moved forwards and entwined her hands as she looked at him.

Cullen took a few seconds to think about her words, he didn't want to answer her straight away or it would appear suspicious.

"I will be sad to leave my post in the tower," he began, "but I also believe that especially a mage as powerful as the Hero of Ferelden should not be permitted to wander the lands of Thedas without being watched."

Cullen felt his stomach twist at the lie, he felt physically sick talking about the duty he now hated and the lie he had to tell to ensure his freedom. Honesty was the foundation to any relationship, be it duty bound or personal but he also felt that the Chantry itself lied too much or distorted the truth.

"I think it would be foolish for me not accept the task that the Wardens and the King think is worthy of me. If your grace allows it," he added finally.

"An honest answer and rightly so." The Mother accepted. She sighed and nodded. "I have been anxious about having the mages run about the countryside but I am glad that you were there to see that should duty compel it would be done. I am also glad that you have upheld the words of the Maker and his bride despite the rumours." She smiled at Cullen and nodded again. She believed them then, that there was nothing personal between the Ami and himself.

"I will allow this joining." She said finally, after a brief pause. "I believe you have all shown great wisdom and it is only fair that I follow that. Cullen will be released from his oath but he may keep his supply of lyrium and templar equipment."

Alistair stood and bowed, "Thank you, your Reverence. I am glad to have been able to come to you with this matter."

Reggie then stood, "I hope that with your leave, a signature and documentation would finalise this. It would be a formality but I trust that would not be a problem your grace?"

She shook her head, "Not at all dear Warden. In fact I shall do it now, I do not wish to keep you fine men from your duties." She called for her servant to bring some official documentation and smiled at the men as they waited. Shortly after writing out a simple declaration and signing two copies she handed one to Alistair and one to Reggie.

Cullen swallowed a grin that tried to creep across his face. Reggie was indeed good at playing the part, down to even getting the woman to sign a declaration ensuring his freedom _legally_. Cullen could leap for joy if they hadn't still been in her office.

"Thank you, your Reverence. Until our next meeting." Said Alistair and the two other men bowed and walked slowly out of the room. After passing through the large doors and hearing them close they hastened their pace towards the Chantry's main exit.

"I don't know about you two but I want to get the hell out of here before the Maker strikes me down for _lying_ to one of his servants!" Alistair whispered jovially.

Cullen chuckled quietly and followed them. Once outside he took a deep breath and smelled the scent of freedom like a prisoner held captive for so long and it brought joy to his heart. He walked onwards following after Alistair and Reggie to their carriage and he smiled. It was short lived. A sudden feeling of dread came over him and his once joyful and happy expression faltered into one of fear and unease as he looked westwards. He stopped in his tracks and gasped.

In the distance he could see the sky was black as the day was ending slowly but this darkness had an almost sinister quality to it. Cullen felt his hands clench at his sides and suddenly he was struck with an almighty pain in his skull. He yelled and felt himself drop to his knees his hands clutching his head as the pain increased.

"Maker's Mercy!" he cried out.

He felt arms around him as Reggie and Alistair pulled him to his feet worry and confusion were on their faces Cullen could see through slitted eyes. The pain was unimaginable and he cried out in pain as another wave of it hit him. His mind felt under attack but from what and whom he had no idea. He knew however, that his shrieking was attracting unwanted attention and decided to black out under the force than let the pain continue.

"A … Ami?" he whispered just before he blacked out completely.

"What the hell?" Alistair yelled as he tried to hoist the man up to a standing position. "What the hell is going on?"

Reggie shook his head, "I don't know ser but if we don't get out of here fast we will have Chantry fiends looking at us and we might not be able to talk our way out of this. We need to get out of here, now!"

Alistair nodded and pulled the unconscious Cullen into his grasp and moved him over to his carriage. Thank the maker he actually decided to use it for once.

"To the palace then, I better appease the wife before I end up on the block or something."

Reggie laughed and nodded, helping Alistair with the heavily plate-armoured man to the coach. He hoped he had done enough for the wardens to accept him as a recruit otherwise it would be him that would be seeing the block and not Alistair.

~v~

Ami stirred from her almost dreamless sleep. Her first sense to return to her was her hearing as she heard a few people who were trying to argue amongst themselves quietly and failing miserably. Ami could hear them loud and clear regardless of their attempts to be quiet so she listened.

"She's in no fit state to go anywhere Cain!" grumbled one of them.

"We need to wake her, without her we have no idea what to do!" another argued. Ami could tell from the light sweet voice it was Leliana. She mentally smiled as she heard that her friend was alright after hitting her with a bolt.

"Waking her now would only damage her more Leliana! She needs rest, she is in no state to go anywhere but a bed!" That, was definitely Morrigan, Ami had no doubt.

"She has been out for quite a while are you sure she is healing and nothing else?" a simple, sweet voice said. Ami guessed that was Emisa which meant the first voice must have been Petra. Ami grinned and then she felt the tightness in her chest and coughed as the pain that wreaked her body pulled her fully into reality.

They stood silent for a few moments and she decided that since they would either move off and talk further away or stop altogether that it was time she moved. She gingerly pulled her hand over her face and rubbed the bridge of her nose, groaning. She felt Morrigan come to her side and take her other hand gripping it tightly. First, a few questions.

"What happened? What that bastard do to me?" she grumbled out as she peeked up at Morrigan.

Morrigan smiled. "It's nice to see you haven't lost your sense of humour."

"Thanks Morri but what did he do?" she huffed back.

"He made a blood link with you. Whenever he felt pain you did, so when he ultimately blew himself to smithereens the link remained and almost killed you." She muttered, her arms gesturing around the room to the bits and pieces of Erin's remains around the room.

"That's what that feeling was," Ami mused. "Huh."

She slowly rose to a seating position and eyed her companions. They all looked at her grimly.

"So what have I missed? Oh and what day is it, funnily I think we've been battling for days but I don't know." She said grinning at them.

Petra stepped forward and pushed Ami against the hard surface of the upturned desk to make her rest. Ami complied she could feel her body was too weak to fight but growled, "Ouch!" anyway as she waited for her questions to be answered. Morrigan crouched next to her while starring at her. It slightly unnerved her, _what was she so intent on looking at_, she thought.

"We haven't found the old bat, nor Greagoir but there is still much of the west side of the tower to go through. The blood mage's power has all but gone and the infected and crazed mages and templar's have regained their minds." Cain answered. He refused to meet her gaze and stared at the floor.

"Ok that answers my first question." Ami replied tilting her head at him, wondering why none of her Wardens and Leliana would look at her at all, while Morrigan and Petra stared at her with angry and grim expressions.

"It's the eve of the second day since we arrived at the tower sister." Morrigan answered quietly.

"Two days. Really? It felt longer than two." She thought about that a moment and then Morrigan's staring began to frustrate her. "Morri? What is it? You're staring at me like I have the face of a genlock! I have to say its rather creepy." Ami stared at her but Morrigan turned her head away and kept looking at a spot on the side of her head.

"Morrigan!" she growled.

"Shhh! I do not know what this is but I do not like it." she simply said.

"You don't like what? What is it? Ouch! _Makers blood! That fucking hurts!_" Ami spun to look at Petra at her side.

"There is a mark on your skull Ami," answered Petra.

Ami turned to the circle mage and stared at her quizzically. She was trying to look at Ami's side injury to no avail since she kept moving whenever she prodded it.

"And?" she growled again and clenched her jaw as Petra cleaned around her wound. "Andrastes fucking dog do you have to be so bloody rough!"

Ami turned to Petra and saw her face go white Ami shot a quick glance to Morrigan and the same grim expression shot across her face too.

"What? What is it? I'm not stupid. I-It's bad. I-Isn't it?" Ami smiled. She didn't fear death, but she knew it wasn't the right time for her to die yet. She had too much to do and too much to live for, _Maker be damned if I am leaving this plain of existence now_.

"The wound I can heal. But there is significant damage Ami, your stomach and, and your womb are, well …"

"Massively damaged," Morrigan finished for the healer. "It is unlikely you will be able to bear more children or eat properly again." Morrigan looked at her with sadness and regret as their gaze met.

Ami tucked her chin in and sighed. She wasn't dying but … another thought came into her head. Cullen. She had never thought about it. She shook her head, willing the tears back, there would be another time to think about this now was not it. She took some time to swallow the news, she gulped and then looked to Petra.

"Can I walk?" she said simply as if the news hadn't phased her in the slightest. Petra looked at her with a furrowed brow and nodded.

"Well we have things to do and people to find and bastard Chantry rebels to kill." She sighed and reached out to Morrigan who helped pull her to her shaky feet. She leaned heavily on her friends shoulder as Leliana came and took her other arm.

"Thank you Leli." Ami panted. "Tork!"

The dwarf stood to attention, "Yes ma'am."

"I want you to take some rest, then I want you to ready yourself to try and track those bastards. Take one of the towers hawks that will keep us in contact."

"Yes Ma'am," and he trundled off towards the falconry.

"Emisa, I want you to round up a few people and sweep the areas we've been through. I want numbers, names if you can of the… the dead and I want you to search all the stores and rooms. See if you can find Wynne or Greagoir."

"It will be done Commander."

"Cain?"

"Yes my sweet," Cain grinned.

"Ha fucking ha sweet talker. I want you, Morrigan and Leliana to check out the remaining parts of the tower. Same drill as Emi, numbers, names if you can."

"Yes ma'am. What about you?" he asked looking at her, concerned that she might do something stupid.

"Me? I shall be searching through this bastard." She said pointing to the little remains of Erin scattered about the floor. She saw their expressions turn and could imagine that they were all feeling a little nauseated by the task but it needed to be done. She watched as they filed out and left her and Petra alone and she sighed. Before her strength faltered she leaned back heavily on her staff. She did not want them to see her to appear weak.

"You are so stubborn! You need to rest." Argued Petra.

"I will be fine. I need to see to his remains before the magic cannot be traced." Ami slumped over to the largest concentration of Erin's remains and knelt down. Every movement was a huge effort and she was worried that she wouldn't have enough energy to pull on the fade. She slipped out a vial of lyrium potion from what remained of her tattered satchel and took a sip.

"Ami!" Petra shrilled shocked by her friends action.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures my friend." She coughed out as she felt the tingling sensation of the magical potion begin to course through her veins.

She summoned the familiar feelings of the fade and began her trace.

~v~

"I need to ride to the tower." Demanded Cullen.

"No you need to rest. Maker knows what happened to you, it could happen again I'm not willing to risk it!" Alistair argued.

"Look you could try and bust my ass to make me stay but I'll tell you this I will break your nose Alistair if you don't let me go now. King or not I will take you down!" Cullen argued, pointing a finger at Alistair and narrowing his eyes at him.

Alistair was about to argue back when Zevran interjected.

"You said yourself you wanted to get back to the tower as soon as possible but we still have that chantry sister to find. Gelby was it?"

Reggie nodded and stepped between the two arguing templar's.

"Let me go with him. At least then he has someone watching his back ser. Please, I know I still have much to prove to you all and I wish this to be my chance to do so," he pleaded looking between the two men.

Zevran stood away from the three of them, his arms folded, leaning against the wall of the courtyard of the palace as they argued. He drummed his fingers along his forearm as Alistair and Cullen both looked at him for his opinion of Reggie's request. Finally he spoke.

"You do realise my friend that if he finds you unworthy I cannot help you. You will be at the mercy of the Templar and his blade if you are untrue."

Reggie nodded. "I understand. However, from spending time with you all and the Warden I can see it as my only way to atone for my sins against you all, as short a time that might be. If I cannot or am found unworthy then in death I shall find it."

Reggie tucked his head into his chest, he had never felt welcome anywhere but Zevran, Cullen and Alistair had accepted him even if they still didn't fully trust him yet. He had never wanted anything more than for someone to be proud of him at trying his best, even if he failed. Somehow, somewhere along the way he had decided that he was to defend them, with his very life if needs be.

"Fine," Alistair relented. "Go to the tower with him, make sure he gets there in one piece or Maker help us both if Ami decides to kill us."

Cullen nodded and mounted his readied horse. "Reggie you have five minutes then I'm leaving. So get your gear I'll wait at the gates for you."

"Yes ser Cullen!" and the rogue scampered off to get his supplies while shouting at the stable boy to ready a horse for him.

Cullen nudged his horse forward and gazed westwards. He hoped she was alright but something in his gut squirmed at the knowledge that she was more than likely fighting for her life. He rubbed the ring on his finger and prayed silently to the Maker that he wasn't too late.

~v~

"So you're my sister? How?" asked River.

She folded her arms and glared slightly at the short haired girl. Asha smiled timidly and nodded, taking a step closer to River but stopping short and decidedly took a seat on top of one of a desk. She set her feet on one of the chairs and leaned over, resting her elbows on her knees.

"You know that your father and mother helped end the blight." She began judging River's reaction with her brown eyes as she looked at her side long.

River nodded and she continued.

"My mother was one of their companions. She was sent along with them by Flemeth to help them in the fight against the darkspawn."

Asha patted the open space beside her and beckoned River to join her. River glanced at the space and after a few hesitant moments sat cautiously next to her.

"My mother knew that to kill an arch demon a Grey Warden must die. She didn't want that to happen because she loved your mother. She was her first friend and so told her of a ritual. Your mother refused."

"Why?" asked River, confused at why her mother would turn it down.

"Your father had become King, she had made him King. They were very much in love but the Chantry would never allow them to be together and rule the kingdom. He … cast her out, angry that she had done it and blamed her for it. She was heart broken before he said the most awful things and at that point felt she had nothing left in the world."

River didn't realise it but she had begun to cry, realising why her parents up until now had barely spoken to each other. She felt Asha rub her back and grip her shoulder in a calming gesture as she continued.

"She didn't know of you yet. Their final night together was the night before the final battle where he apologised. Before then however he had heard my mother talk to her about the ritual. After she refused he sought Morrigan out and agreed, if only to save her life. He knew your mother would never allow him to take the final blow."

"So my daddy slept with Morrigan and you are my sister." River nodded.

"Yes," Asha smiled. "We are the same age if a few weeks apart but we are sisters you and I."

"We have a brother too." River added, wiping away the tear stains on her cheek.

"Yes? I do not know his name however." Asha replied, raising her eyebrows. Something within her stirred and internally she grinned triumphantly, finally she would know the name of their final vessel.

"Duncan, his name is Duncan." River said and smiled at her sister.

"River, I have to ask you something."

"Of course Asha." She nodded.

"I wondered if you would like to come with me. I'd like to meet Duncan and I know that our parents would never let us do it normally so that's why I came with my friends."

"It's a secret isn't it, your friends I mean?" River asked looking at her sister. Asha nodded and River continued. "I'd love to meet Duncan! But … Mommy said I'm not to leave the tower." River said sheepishly.

"So did mine but if I hadn't left I would never have met you!" Asha said hugging her sister tightly. Without drawing attention to it, Asha pushed a little of her power into a glyph on River's neck. "Please River. Come with me," she whispered, placing a kiss on the spot where she placed the glyph. "Together we can meet our brother and we can be a real family all of us, could you imagine it? Me, you, Duncan, both our mothers and father."

"And the Queen! She's Duncan's mommy too. She'd be part of the family too." River added pulling away and smiling up at Asha.

"Yes, I suppose we can't leave her out." Asha said shrugging. She eyed her sister to see if her charm had worked and asked "So you'll come?"

River took a moment to think it over; she decided that going to see her brother was a brilliant idea. Her mother wouldn't be angry about it, she was finding her family after all. Even Morrigan's worried expression must have just been an overreaction; Asha would never let her mother worry. She suddenly felt oddly happy that she came to see her sister and that her friends were just playing games with the Templar's much like she used to do. River smiled. She was going to have an adventure with her sister and together they would find their brother. It would be like her mother's adventures outside the tower. River looked up at her sister, grinned and nodded passionately. Just the look on Asha's face reinforced the fact that this was the best idea ever.

"I'd like you to meet our friend first. Zaphron. He's a bit of an old bat but he is very loyal and powerful. He's been teaching me things, he might teach you things too if you like?"

"Oh I'd love that!" River squealed, clapping her hands together.

Asha smiled but she hid the delight and satisfaction of deceiving the blonde girl that had the unfortunate fate of being her sibling.

"Come then, he's waiting for us." Asha grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the stairs, skipping with glee and a bounce in her step that her efforts had been rewarded.

_Remember our deal child_, rumbled the voice inside.

_I have not forgotten lord I shall keep my end of the bargain_, she replied.

_If not I shall take this body by force and then you will have nothing and I will find them myself_, it grumbled.

Asha sighed and flashed a cheeky grin at River, _if only she knew what evil lies in store; thank the gods I won't have to keep this ridiculous charm for long_ she thought.

~v~

Cullen's stomach was doing flips as he saw the normal tall bluish stone of the towers walls and the wide, large alabaster flagstone's that cover it's floor. But there was something else covering the floor and it chilled his bones to see it again as he remembered eerily his dream.

Blood covered the floor of the tower and the hallway he was in was running with it.

He moved forward a step and felt something crunch beneath his heavy plate boot. He glanced down and saw what now remained of the Circle pendant. He was still in his armour of a templar, his sash and plate armour were the same with their usual ties buckles and pieces of plate accounted for but he knows why this time. There, on his armour he sees the blood. Carrol's blood. He had bent down to check on his brother when he and Reggie had come across him near the towers large front doors. He knew then it would be the first of many bodies.

He was panting but he knows why. He had been running, he wanted to reach the tower as quickly as possible and he wanted to see her. Cullen shook his head, grunted then moved on from the main entrance and headed further into the tower, his sword drawn, _the tower isn't secure yet_. He moved quickly but as quietly as he can in his plate metal. He was uncomfortable with being in the tower like this, with blood and bodies all around him, it brought back the thoughts he had after the circle was broken and it made him nervous. But this wasn't a dream anymore, it had happened and he was reliving it again.

He turned the corner of the hallway that lead into the lower library and all apprehension was muted by the figure that he knew would greet him. She looked exhausted but well and whole. She was exactly the picture he had seen in his dream. She was covered, head to toe in blood, her hair was sodden and the blood had matted it altogether, her robes were ripped and shredded and in places was covered with large blood stains and on her face she had a deep healing gash over her right cheek. She sat gingerly on a stool while Petra tended to her.

He caught Ami's attention and smiled while lowering his sword and sheathing it back in its scabbard and heard her say the words he knows she was going to say.

"Good to see you!"

* * *

I hope you have enjoyed this latest addition to the story. Please please leave a comment or review i really appreciate them. Shout out to my good friend and Beta Leask! also to Wolfe's Princess, you two are just the best!

Soooooo River has left with Asha ... she is a sly little one isn't she ... yes there will be a little more of them in the next chapter but they won't be a huge part of the story. Chapter 20 (can't believe it) will have Cullen and Ami clear out the tower. I'm playing with the idea of killing someone but atm i'm still working on the idea, it might not happen, who knows. It will also have a Zevran moment where he's got a hold of the Chantry sister ... hehe! turn on the Zev charm!

Right i'm off to bed now, thanks for reading guys!


	20. Rogues and Blood Mages

20. Rogues and Blood Mages

"How does he do it?" quizzed Alistair. "How does he just swagger up to them and just with one look or comment they are swooning at his feet?"

Alistair and one of is guardsmen were watching Zevran from a secluded seat in the back of the Gnawed Noble tavern as their friend sat talking to the Chantry sister Gelby. Alistair wore a long cloak with its hood up to mask his notable appearance from far off. Zevran had only a few moments ago had met the girl after a few brief talks with a number of his contacts. She was pretty, in a simple sense but Zevran had merely shook his head and called her 'butter-face' Alistair had rolled his eyes at the Antivan's vanity but of course not everyone could be as beautiful as sin.

Even with the 'butter-face' the girl was quite pretty, if a little overweight. Podgy was the word his guard had used but then again he said that a girl without something to grasp isn't worth having … apparently. Alistair rolled his eyes again. The Antivan's reputation for seduction even went as far as seducing Chantry sisters, bloody typical. Alistair turned his mug of ale around as they sat watching the two giggle and talk and he sighed.

"What do you think Mac?"

"Ser?" the guard perked up.

"Shh! I'm not supposed to be here act natural!" Alistair hissed.

"Well we're in a tavern ser, how natural would you like it to be?" Mac eyed Alistair and he knew what he meant. _Of course it's a tavern what else are you suppose to do._

"Fine! Lets play a game then." Alistair said slamming his almost empty mug on the taverns table.

"A drinking game ser?" the guard queried, looking at him sidelong to make sure he was actually being serious.

"Yes a _drinking game_." Alistair emphasised. His guard nodded and walked slowly up to the bar, paid for two more ales, took them back and set them on the table before looking at Alistair with a serious expression as he retook his seat.

"I will warn you ser I am good at these games," he smiled smugly.

"I travelled around Ferelden with the drunkest dwarf on Thedas. I'll let you meet him if you win, deal?" Alistair replied with a grin.

"Deal ser," Mac replied before pursing his lips and then decided on the game. "Have you ever played the game I have never?"

Alistair groaned inwardly was already regretting this.

~v~

"I'm a mess Cullen …" she sobbed.

Cullen wrapped his arms around her tighter, "I know my love but hush we will find her. I promise you that." He took her chin in his hand and forced her to meet his gaze staring into those big blue eyes of hers. "We _will_ find her," he said more forcefully.

Ami nodded and she relaxed in his embrace while he brushed her cheek with his hand.

"I don't know what to do. We can't find Wynne or Greagoir and I've sent Tork off looking to see where these bastards have gone but I'm at a loss Cullen."

"Let's just deal with one problem at a time. You need to rest I can't have you wander the tower in the state your in, your not fit to help anyone like this." He stared at her and gave her a look she wasn't to argue with him. She opened her mouth to protest but after he scowled at her she shut it with an audible snap and nodded glumly.

"At least she listens to someone!" was Petra's retort but her face softened as she saw the two in an embrace. "Here," she said gently, "I've found some more medicinal supplies this should make you more comfortable Ami."

Ami nodded taking the small vial that Petra held out to her. "Maker that is awful!" her face grimaced in disgust. "What is …" her eyes then rolled back and she slumped forward and was soon fast asleep in Cullen's arms.

"I had to knock her out," Petra explained to Cullen. "She's spent more than she should have."

Cullen only nodded as he placed her gently onto a nearby pile of shredded fabrics.

"Cullen could I have a word," Petra asked waving him to come to her some distance from Ami. Cullen's brow furrowed but he nodded moving towards Petra. Once they were far enough away Petra let out the deep breath she was holding and looked up at the templar.

"I need you to find Wynne, as fast as you can," she said with desperation in her voice, looking back and forth between him and Ami. Cullen eyed her darkly.

"What is it Petra?"

Petra's fearful eyes met his and she immediately looked to her feet.

"I've done all I can. She's bleeding heavily I can't … my skills aren't enough." She hurried. "I _need_ another healer. Morrigan has done the best she could but she's no healer I _need_ Wynne, specifically Wynne."

She looked at him and saw his face turn pale. He turned away shaking his head, muttering a few things under his breath inaudible to Petra. She watched as he clenched his hands at his sides, the metal gauntlets grinding against each other before he turned back and steeled himself.

"How long?"

"A couple of hours, _maybe_ through the night. It doesn't matter I _need_ Wynne, I can't," Petra closed her eyes, "keep her alive, it's taking everything I have to keep her from bleeding out."

Cullen looked at Petra closely, she was near exhaustion he didn't have long and then … well, he didn't want to think about that. He took a deep breath and clenched his jaw and stiffly nodded.

"I'll look for her, now." The mage began to turn "And Petra," the mage looked back at him, their eyes meeting. "Keep her alive until I get back." He pleaded, "even if I don't find her I'll be back."

Petra nodded and watched as Cullen took off back to the main hallway to where Reggie was waiting. _This was not going to happen. Not now not ever._ Cullen thought to himself.

"Reggie!" he bellowed making the young man jump and slide over his dagger hilts. He noticed Cullen and nodded then quickly ran up to him. He saw Cullen's grim expression and tilted his head.

"With me, NOW," Cullen barked.

Cullen knew he didn't have much time and he could only think of one way that would help narrow the search down to find Wynne. He marched down the stairs and stood outside the large doors of the Repository. He looked at the large oak doors and paused, taking a deep breath, before he used both hands to push the doors open. They creaked open and then fell back on their own weight slamming so hard against the stone that Reggie felt the vibrations it sent across the floor.

"This way," Cullen commanded.

Reggie had no idea what Cullen had seen in the lower library's hallway. The templar had him stay watch in the cloisters. It must have been serious enough to send the large man into such a fray of anger and rage as he marched without comment down the hallways and stairs till they reached a specific door that Reggie thought had DO NOT ENTER written all over it. Reggie tried to keep track of where they were going but he had no idea after a while as Cullen twisted and turned at different hallways every few feet. But Cullen seemed to know where they were going and that was enough for him. There was probably a good reason why they were down in this dank basement with cobwebs covering cobwebs and old bones and pieces of armour laying about. They reached another large door and Cullen stopped and glanced over his shoulder at him.

"Still with me I see."

Reggie nodded and then asked tentatively, "What is in there?"

"This is the Repository. This is where we keep the mages phylacteries."

"Phylacteries?"

"When a mage first comes to the circle a little of their blood is taken just in case ..." Cullen let his voice trail off as Reggie understood the meaning.

"In case they go rogue," Reggie finished.

Cullen nodded and turned back to the door. He eyed the door dubiously; it looked different since the last time he had been down there. He fluidly pulled out his sword and eyed the door carefully, now would be an easy place to ambush them. By using the tip of his sword he carefully pushed the door open. He frowned as he saw fresh footprints in the dust of the floor, someone _had_ been in the chamber recently and it wasn't likely to be anyone friendly he thought.

"Stay alert, someone who shouldn't be has been here." He whispered over his shoulder.

Reggie nodded his hands lingering over his daggers and followed closely behind Cullen as he slowly entered the dark chamber.

The air was damp and cold and Reggie watched as his breath became white clouds in front of him. He shivered in the cold but kept his hands tense until Cullen had made sure the room was secure. He watched as the templar walked over to a large cabinet marked Senior Mages and looked through the different vials until he found the one he was looking for. Reggie watched as a thought passed through Cullen's expression and then he ran to the other side of the room to a different cabinet.

"Damn it!" Cullen yelled slamming the door shut, "Sneaky bastards _that's_ why they were in here!"

"What? What have they taken?" asked Reggie walking up behind him.

"River's phylactery. The bastards have taken the only other way of tracking her." Cullen lamented, punching his fist into the stone at the side of the cabinet. "Damn it!"

Cullen turned away and walked passed Reggie and headed back to the towers main floor kicking open the chamber door as he walked away. The force of the kick caused the sound to echo down the hall making Reggie winched as he quickly followed after him.

As they returned to the first floor of the tower Cullen stopped and pulled out the vial that he had taken. Taking it in his hands he spilled a drop of it on the floor before reciting a Templar chant. The blood glowed and reached up from the ground back into the vial where it visibly glowed like a beacon.

"Who's blood is that? Ami's?" Reggie asked.

"No, Wynne's we need to find her and fast. Stick close you'll be surprised how fast I can move in this armour," Cullen replied and after pocketing the vial he took off in a run to find Wynne in the direction the vial had indicated.

~v~

"My dear you do not see your true beauty. There are many women in this city but you are above all of them." Zevran purred.

The blonde girl giggled and patted his arm.

"My dear Zevran I have told you, I have made my vows to the Maker I am above those needs and desires."

Zevran shook his head. "My dear you shall never be above those things trust me I used to be involved with the Chantry."

"You were not you vile man!" she giggled, swatting his arm. Zevran chuckled and quickly stood up and performed a lavish bow.

"Please my dear allow me to introduce you to some of my friends. There company will be wondering where I have gone off to and I would love for you to meet them."

He winked at her, batted his eyelashes and grinned widely at her until she sighed and nodded. "Oh why not! Perhaps they will be more inclined to repent than you my dear Zevran!"

Zevran smiled in victory and stood.

"Oh you may try my dear but never fear I shall protect your honour should they fair not to," he laughed and took her arm in his and they walked out of the bar. Zevran winked at the corner table where Alistair and Mac were sat and led his lady out.

~v~

Cain in one fluid motion pulled his bloodied sword out from the body of the mage he had just slain. He shook his head and grumbled incoherently to himself.

"Tis surprising there are still these fools in the tower," remarked Morrigan as she wrapped a bandage around Leliana's arm.

The bard snorted, "It is but it shouldn't, people are always drawn to the dark arts somehow. Thank you Morrigan," she offered the swamp witch a grateful smile and tilted her head.

The witch nodded and moved over to Cain as Leliana went to help the remaining mages. Cain was shouldering a number of deep gashes down his left side from where the blood mage had slashed his long knife at Cain. He glanced at her approach and shook his head, "I'm fine, see to the others."

Morrigan placed a hand on his shoulder, "Sit. Down."

Cain tried to argue but the intensity of those yellow eyes looked at him demanding to be obeyed. So he did, reluctantly.

"I will see to you. You are the most injured." She replied, gently.

Cain looked at her then, surprised. She had never said anything softly to him, it was always with a note of sarcasm or contempt at his pursue of her but never had she said anything with the softness a woman could give. In her eyes he could see concern and also pain.

"Are you hurt?" he croaked out as she ran her fingers over his leathers.

"I have a few cuts and grazes nothing like the tears in your flesh." She looked up at him as her hands continued to examine his wounds. "I am well enough but you are not."

Cain winched as the pain now burned through him but after a few moments he felt the cool relief of a simple heal spell working to re-knit his flesh together again. He closed his eyes and groaned as his body relaxed. When he reopened them he swore to himself that Morrigan smiled but as he looked back up to check her usual frown had returned. He brushed his hands against the wounds, it was still tender and easily torn open but for the moment they were a good sight better than before. He looked back up to thank her but instead he was greeted by a water flask being dangled in front of him which he gladly took guzzling it down. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and looked around.

"Do we know how many more of these bastards are going to be in here?" pointing the question at Morrigan.

She shook her head and folded her arms. "No, if we had a Templar we could possibly sense them out but I doubt these boys," she pointed to the two unconscious templar's being helped by the other mages, "have much experience with blood mages."

"So we'd need a veteran?" he asked.

Morrigan nodded.

"How about Cullen?" Leliana quizzed. Cain watched in amusement as Morrigan's brow furrowed, her face set into a deeper scowl before she turned to the bard and opened her mouth. She shut it again with a snap as Cullen came marching through the door followed by the young rogue, eyes ablaze. Cain jumped up curious at how the man had known to turn up at the right time.

"Cullen! You sure do have some Maker given timing."

Cullen nodded and stopped short of the next door that led further down into the teaching quarters. He looked at them all, scanning their various injuries with a frown.

"Are you all well?" he said simply.

_That … was surprising_, thought Cain. Cullen wasn't usually so commanding. Cain didn't like the way Cullen's voice was so … to the point? It wasn't like the man, sure in some cases the man was as sure as himself as a warrior should be but he wasn't one to lead people and everyone knew that, _Cullen_ knew that. If he was leading, that meant something had gone seriously wrong. Something had thrown the man out of his comfort zone and had plunged him into the fire and Cain didn't like the idea of where that could lead them. He noticed as the Templar's hand was already twitching, remaining poised, ready to grab that massive sword of mercy at his back. So Cain nodded and spoke remaining wary of this 'new' Cullen and the rogue. He hadn't avoided noticing Morrigan's reaction to Cullen either. She looked almost sorry for him, her eyes betrayed her as they met Cullen's and they seem to exchange something in that split second but then it broke as Leliana spoke.

"We're fine. We just had a run in with a few rogue mages," she sighed.

"Have you found Wynne or Greagoir yet?" he continued but Cain had a feeling the templar already knew the answer.

"Not yet. Ami sent us to find them and take a head count." Cain added shaking his head.

"We're closer to Wynne she's not far. I have her Phylactery we need to find her and bring her back to Petra. We find her first." Cullen's tone was flat and direct and Cain did not like it one bit.

The duelist narrowed his eyes at the templar; he never understood the commander's attraction to him but then each to their own. He crossed his arms and shook his head, they weren't going anywhere till he let them rest for a few moments and tell them why specifically they needed Wynne so badly. He could tell Cullen knew that he wasn't buying the simple excuse and both warriors eyes locked.

"We need to find her Cain, now not later."

"Why?" he shrugged. "We have battled for almost two days in this tower; let us rest a moment Cullen. I'm sure Wynne can wait a little while longer before finding out the towers state. In fact I'm sure she already knows the situation."

"No," Cullen growled, his patience wearing thin.

"I don't see how that's your decision. I'm following the Commanders orders, not yours," Cain shot back, his own control over his temper straining.

"Cain," Morrigan warned but the warrior didn't take heed and walked forward, his arms still folded as he tried to stare the templar down like a stubborn mabari.

"Shh Morrigan. Tell me Cullen what is it? Scared that her spirit friend will abandon her and she'll become an abomination? Scared that if you don't personally put down the last blood mage that somehow Wynne will turn? Or is it that you're worried that Ami wouldn't forgive you for taking the closest thing to a mother she'd ever have?"

The last part wasn't really meant to come out but Cain was far from caring. Two days of battling in a tower full of crazies wielding magic and swords did that to your head after a while. It made you say stupid things that didn't make sense or mean anything, and it made your head twitch. And Cain's head was a beehive of twitching; it must've been the concentration of magic in the air. What Cain was expecting was a witty retort but what he got was a gauntlet fist meeting his cheek that sent him flying to the floor in a grunt of pain.

"You fools!" he heard Morrigan shout and placed herself between the two men. "Get a hold of yourself both of you!"

Leliana pulled Cullen aside and away as Morrigan dragged Cain by his long dark hair to the other end of the room. Cain now saw the distress and also anger in her face, had he upset her?

"You _are _an idiot!" she hissed into his ear. "Ami is injured, my sister may be dying and all _you _can do is taunt the man." She spun him around and glared at him. "That man," she pointed back at Cullen, "who has probably been in this tower less time than us and done more to help than you have, a _man_ who loves her more than life itself and you go and say something like that! You are an idiot and I curse myself for thinking otherwise!"

With her scolding over Morrigan slapped him on the back of the head and walked over to Cullen and Leliana who both were talking quickly, their faces grim. Cain watched as Morrigan spoke and nodded to Cullen then turned to face him again with sadness and what Cain thought was disappointment.

"I will leave you here and aid Petra," she said sadly and picking up her staff ushered the surviving mages and templar's out leaving them alone.

Cullen walked back over to the main door. His shoulders sunken and to Cain he seemed to be waiting for something on the other side of the door. Cain watched as Cullen's shoulders then tensed and he scowled. It must be a templar thing, he thought.

"There is another blood mage on this floor," Cullen said over his shoulder. "Be on your guard."

Leliana tightened her grip on her bow and nodded, Reggie unsheathed his daggers again and Cain just looked at them all. He knew there had been more to Ami's injuries than Petra had let on. He had held her for Andrastes sake; he had felt her blood run through his hands like water and Cullen just expects him to stand back at let him take charge. No. Not on his watch and not with his commander. Cullen might be her lover but Cain was her lieutenant, her second and no-one knew her analytical mind like him. He walked up next to Cullen and stood shoulder to shoulder with the templar. He spoke quietly but loud enough that Cullen could clearly hear him.

"I will lead." Cullen turned and looked about to argue but Cain refused to meet his gaze. "She is one of us. There is only so much you can understand about it and I owe her this." Cain turned and then met Cullen's cold stare. He had no idea what Ami had done for him, for the Wardens for Ferelden. "I will lead."

And with that he stepped forward and slowly pushed the door open not turning back.

~v~

"How could you do this to someone of the Chantry?" Gelby cried.

Alistair was exhausted. They had been listening to this woman's ramblings for almost four hours now and nothing, not one bit of information that could help them. He was about ready to give up but Zevran had assured him that it wouldn't be much longer. The elf was leaning against the wall sharpening his daggers and as usual doing it in a suggestive way. Alistair looked at him, raising his eyebrow in a plea for help. The elf chuckled and nodded, pushing himself off the wall walked over to the sister and crouched to her level. He played with the blade openly looking at it while he spoke softly to her.

"Do you know what happens in Antiva when a Sister is found involved in trying to kidnap the Kings children?"

"You do not scare me elf!" she spat at him.

"Oh ho! My dear your insults do you no justice here. But since my friend does not know I shall tell the tale."

He flicked a sinister grin up at the woman and then returned to playing with the daggers.

"Firstly, she is stripped of her rank. Her robes burned right there in front of her while she stands and watches in her small clothes. Then, and this part in particular is fun." His smirk widened as he heard her swallow hard. "They take her through the city so people can pelt her with all kinds of horrible things and then she is presented to the Grand Cleric who openly casts her out from the Maker's sight."

Zevran paused as he heard the sister begin to let out a mournful sob but then after a moment continued.

"That is just the first day my dear. There are many more days, I think the longest one to survive was four days of humiliation and they hadn't even gotten to the public flogging yet. So sad, but it is Antiva it happens often, I may see someone yet, it might even be you." He pointed a dagger at her and laughed as she began to sob openly. "But yes it is all about the psychology of the punishment apparently there is nothing worse and so many have committed suicide on the first day. I even heard of …"

"STOP! I will tell you all I know! Just … no more! Please!"

Zevran smiled "Of course you will tell me everything my dear. For if you don't I will cut your tongue out and no-one will ever hear that musical laughter of yours."

~v~

River paced the cell that she had been left him. She had worn out her numerous curses taught to her by her uncles. How could she have been so stupid? Shortly after leaving the tower with Asha the charm she had used had worn off. River had then regained her mind and tried to leave to go back to the tower but _Zaphron_, the disgusting slug of a man, had stopped her. River shivered at the memory of the man putting his slimy hands on her shoulders as he had restrained her. The knowledge that he had physically touched her made her want to vomit. She didn't want to be here, on all counts she _shouldn't _be here but her damned curiosity had over ridden her senses once again. Her mother would be furious _and _worried _and _disappointed, if she _ever_ got out of here or Ami could find her. River had tried their link several times and nothing seemed to get through. She kicked the wall in frustration for not following her instincts about it earlier. Why had she allowed Leliana to reassure her there was nothing wrong? Had her 'sister' already clouded her mind then? River was unsure of her sisters power but she knew and felt that there was more to her than met the eye, that she was certain of. Asha unsettled her and every time she had came near the cell River wanted nothing more than to run.

She was drawing near again. River could sense her. It wasn't hard not to notice the dark pull of her powers but River was aware of her influence now she wouldn't be fooled again. She scowled as the dark haired girl came into the cell. She was dressed like the last time she had visited, her dark leggings and her black tunic that was a little too big and her usual thick leather boots. The girl offered her a sly grin but River folded her arms in response. She wanted to go home.

"I thought you'd like some food?"

River remained silent and tried to intimidate her with her most felling glare. It didn't work, her sister seemed to be immune to it and she scowled fiercely.

"You must eat something sister."

"Don't" River spat. "Sisters do not lie to each other and then use tricks to get their own way."

River grounded herself and felt for the veil.

"I would not do that if I were you." Asha said quietly, almost exasperatedly.

"Why?" she growled back.

"Because I do not wish to hurt you sister."

River snorted and remained grounded; her arms still folded and stared at her sister intently. "You already have. I wish to go home. Let me go home. I have nothing for you."

"You cannot go!" Asha suddenly yelled her highly polished veneer cracking slightly. River was surprised by the sudden change and watched, horrified as Asha quickly regained control over herself. It wasn't a normal outburst of anger it was something deeper and more disturbing than River could have thought.

The Old God.

Asha caught her eye and for a moment they locked and feeling the power behind it River wanted nothing more than to bolt out the door. It was her eyes but it was not the Asha she had met in the tower. These eyes were black, hollow holes of nothing, emptiness just … power, so much power it scared her. Asha smirked but whether it was the girl or not River didn't know. She hoped it was the girl for the other outcome was to disturbing to think about.

"Don't try his patience sister. He's not very forgiving. Eat and rest all will be well." Asha said as she straightened her posture. She put the tray of food on a small stool that sat nearby and left. River ran to the door and screamed,

"What do you want with me? Why am I here?"

She pounded the door and began to cry. She had been so naïve and stupid and did everything that Duncan and the spirits had warned her about. _Damn it. _

_Damn it!_ She kicked the door as she backed away from it. She slumped on the floor near the stool and looked at the food. Her stomach betrayed how hungry she was and she looked amongst the cold meats and chopped up vegetables and bread then stopped. There hidden in the plate lay a small ring. She eyed it curiously and reached out to pick it up. She stopped hesitantly and thought, _it might be a trick, another way to dull my mind and bend me to do what ever it is they want me to do? Then again it could just be a ring?_ But she highly doubted that. Then as she looked more closely she recognized it. It was the ring that Morrigan had given her mother or it was similar, River had never really seen it up close. But she knew it was something her mother never parted with and was always on her staff, in fact nearly all of her mothers rings dangled from the old oaks branch except the ring Cullen had given her.

River picked it up gently and held it in her palm. It was a simple ring, a twisted loop of some sort of wood, River had no idea what kind but as she slipped it on the grain seemed to change shape and form. River than had an idea. She made herself comfortable on the floor, sat cross-legged in a meditation position and slowly closed her eyes, her senses pulling on the fade. She needed her mothers help.

~v~

"I thought you said there was only one!" shouted Cain as he parried another attack from the mage he was fighting.

Cullen rolled his eyes as he smashed his shield into the mages face he was subduing and shouted over his shoulder.

"The technique isn't exactly precise!"

The two warriors continued to fight with their two rogues as back ups. Reggie was circling attacking from behind while Leliana had taken cover and was firing arrows onto their targets. They had already taken down two more blood mages since entering this floor and that made a round number of ten that Ami's group had taken down. Ten blood mages. Cain shook his head and cursed as he finally ran the mage through. He knew none of the mages that were in residence at the tower were practicing blood mages but it still worried him that so many had come to the tower. And where was the one Kester had recognized? They hadn't come across him yet. They were closing on Wynne's position. Like the previous take over Wynne had barricaded herself and a number of others in one of the large communal halls with a powerful warding spell. No-one would be able to enter or leave the room unless Wynne lowered it.

Cain's blood suddenly felt as though it was boiling and every muscle in his body tensed and froze at the same time. "ahh!" he screamed, closing his eyes.

"Cain!" He heard Cullen shout. He forced his lids open and saw that Cullen was in much the same position, frozen, but unlike Cain he was fighting it with every bit of templar training he had. "We missed one!" he growled.

_You don't say_, he felt like saying but suppressed the sarcasm for later and growled.

He watched as the templar tried to focus on dispelling but the spell was strong and sweat dripped down his brow as he tried again and again.

Cain glanced as best he could around the hallway; all of them were trapped in the spell of paralysis. They all struggled against it but the spell held them fast and their only hope was Cullen. But the templar could not break it; Cain watched him struggling against it his attempts becoming frantic. Blood magic was stronger than regular magic, Cain remembered Jowan telling him that. It could use the very life source of the mage or more disturbingly, others to power the techniques, it was breakable but it took time. Time, which Cain noticed Cullen was fast running out of. He saw the little snake slip out of the nearby doorway, grinning to himself that he had caught them. Why is it that they always grinned when they thought they had won? Cain had always wondered but seeing the dagger in the mages hand he frantically fought harder against the spell. The mage was walking quickly over to the struggling templar.

Cullen's face was set in stone but his eyes were ablaze with fire. So much contained anger swirled in his amber eyes as he glowered at the mage who calmly walked towards him. As he brandished the long dagger Cullen's stomach knotted and for the first time since leaving Ami he felt something other than the driving need to find Wynne. Fear gripped him. _No no no no no no no_ … he thought as the mage crept closer and closer until he was only a few feet away. He opened his mouth and screamed and he lunged forward to stab Cullen in one of the weak points in his armour.

"Goodbye templar!"

Cain closed his eyes tightly, his ears the only witness to the sudden gasps and then … nothing. Confused, he opened them expecting to see Cullen dead on the floor but that wasn't the sight he saw before him.

Ami had appeared between Cullen and the Blood Mage.

_What the hell?_ He looked at her closely, blinking again and again to make sure the figure he saw before him _was_ in fact her and that she _was_ standing there and it wasn't some hallucination he was having. The mages dagger had entered her left shoulder, blood dripping down its blade but Ami barely flinched she just stood staring at the mage in front of her. Her eyes were deep pools of blueish-grey that glared with malcontent at the mage before her. It was then Cain saw that the mage himself was shaking as Ami's right hand grasped firmly around his neck wringing him like a chicken but refusing to let him drop her gaze as she choked him to death. She wanted her face to be the last thing he saw. Ami's other hand was tightly around her staff and the unsettling silence only broken by the gently drumming of running feet towards them. Morrigan and Petra soon joined the fray but didn't move until they saw Ami tremble and the blood mage drop to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Everyone stood aghast at her frozen in shook at what they had just witnessed. Ami closed her eyes and took a deep breath before clasping a hand around the dagger and yanking it out. She took a sharp in-take of breath from the pain before collapsing into Cullen's waiting arms behind her.

The spell shortly broke and Cain stumbled forward but he easily caught himself. When he looked back up Ami was surrounded by everyone, Morrigan was running off to find Wynne nearby, Petra was casting though Cain could tell they were weak snippets of what they should be, Leliana was helping to make her comfortable and Cullen, Cullen was holding her close refusing to look away from her smiling face. Cain stood back; there was nothing he could do which could help. He knew nothing of magic or healing just poultices which were already being shoved down her throat by Cullen. So he stood and watched making sure the three blood mages were in fact dead and that there weren't anymore about.

"You stupid woman! What were you thinking?" Cullen scowled.

"I was thinking about saving you silly," was her reply. She smiled warmly and all Cullen could do was let out a little laugh and nod.

"It's supposed to be me saving you," he croaked. He noticed she was pale, paler than earlier and he could only accommodate that to the blood loss. He dared a glance up to Petra who was struggling even more to cast, the mage was spent but still tried to draw on the fade. _Damn it if only their combined will could help to keep her here_, he thought. He looked back upon the angelic face with the stunning bluish-grey eyes that he loved so much.

"Mmmm. You already have my love." Ami reached up and wiped away an escaped tear from his cheek and Cullen took her hand, kissing the knuckles. "I'm sorry."

"No your not," he chortled into her hand "Your annoyed you got caught!"

Ami smiled lovingly up at him, her eyes pouring all the love and feelings for him into her gaze. She wanted him to remember that she loved him that she had saved something before she met the Maker. She couldn't save her daughter but by Andraste ass she would save him. "You know me too well."

"You should have stayed with Petra," he whispered, eyes that had previously scolded her now shone uncertainty and fear. Ami shook her head.

"No. I had to find you. I had to tell you I need you that I love you." Her voice had become softer and only Leliana and Cullen could hear her as her body weakened. Cullen gripped her tighter. Ami just smiled and breathed gently. "I-I wish I could have gone back, back to the beginning I-I don't want to leave you here. I don't but the Maker seems to have a sense of humour when it comes to what I want. Don't," she grimaced at the pain, "don't be alone, find someone and be," she winced again, "be happy."

"Shhh!" Cullen said, trying to evade this most painful of topics. "Your not getting out of it that easily." He tried to avoid her gaze but her hoarse voice was beginning to crack his iron will and break him.

"No Cullen," she breathed, her eyes meeting his. "I'm sorry my love. Kiss me."

Cullen pulled her close but Ami barely registered the pain as she felt his warm lips meet hers. She pulled her hand through his hair and then sighed one last time against him before her hand dropped limply to her side as her heart stopped and she died. Cullen's face burned with tears as he registered what just happened. He pulled away, resting his forehead against her now cooling brow.

"Ami," he whispered. "Ami! … AMI!"

And at that moment Cullen's world fell away completely.

~v~

"Mommy!" River screamed.

She snapped her eyes open to see Asha standing there looking at her with intense curiosity. The girls arms were folded and her mouth in an annoyed scowl. But it was her eyes that made River immediately recoil in fear. Those weren't Asha's eyes. These were black hollow unseeing eyes that observed everything in minute detail, delving into River's soul. She visibly shivered and Asha, or rather the old god, tilted its head somehow curious at her reaction.

"Your mother is dead." It said flatly. It spoke in Asha's voice but somehow not quite like the voice River had become used to.

River couldn't believe it. No. She _wouldn't_ believe it and fire danced out of her fingertips. The God in front of her did not flinch nor did it move to stop her; it just observed from its meat sack.

"You." River said hoarsely, standing up "You did it." She suddenly became angry at the girl in front of her. "You can change it." River growled. "Change it! Help her!"

"And what will you give me in return?" The God asked, again tilting its head at her, black eye's watching her carefully.

River clenched her hands tightly extinguishing the flames in her palms. She felt her eye twitch as she tried to suppress the swell of rage that sought to take over and dug her nails into her palms.

_Don't!_ A panicked voice whispered in her mind._ Don't give him what he wants sister. Don't be a fool like me. I can't help you if you choose to help him. He plans to kill us all. _

_Asha? _River asked continuing to stare at the Old God.

_Yes._ The voice replied._ I was a fool sister and now I have trapped you here too._

River could feel the regret and bitterness in her voice.

_Not if we work together. Convince him to help my Mommy. We _need_ her._

_How? She cannot help us. _River felt the pain and the little hope that Asha had.

_She will. You know how. _

_I know._ River felt her acknowledge that they both shared a link with their mothers but River was no host to an Old God like Asha._ My link is … open to his mind. Lucky for us he cannot sense this one but that will not last long. _

_Then convince him. Please. _River begged. Then she was met with silence. She came back to her own mind and glowered at the God that shared her sister's body. The expression hadn't changed but within moments its head tilted again as though considering a point.

"You're sister has given me a reason to help you. A fact that so far she has kept from me. She will exchange it for your mother's life."

River must have look surprised for the God smiled. "This makes you happy. Good."

Asha's body turned and just as it reached the door River called out.

"How will I know it has been done? That you haven't tricked me again?"

The god turned and while looking over its shoulder smiled at the little girl. "You will know. It is something I cannot replicate."

And then it left.

~v~

* * *

New chapter! *dances* This is going up unbetaed, (think thats how you spell it). As my lovely Beta is currently extremely busy getting things ready for her holiday to china, lucky thing! But anyways thanks to her (Leask) and my good friend Theresa (Wolfe's Princess). Also Shout out to all those who hae added this story to their fav's, alerts etc DaisyLilic, LostinBremen and Gwyndylyn apologise if i have spelt your names wrong.

I hope you all will drop me a comment/review i really do appreciate them :D

Also i shall give you all a heads up we are coming to the end of this part of the story but don't worry i will be doing a sequal. All in all there should be around 5-7 chapters left of Path to do, some of it has been planned out the rest is in the pipeline. But the first chapter of the continuation is already planned and being written albeit slowly. Work is a nightmare at the moment.

Anyways thank you all for reading and i will hopefully have the next chapter up soon, if work and life allows it :D

mousemage


	21. Death, Miracles and Old Gods

21. Death, Miracles and Old Gods

Death came as a strange thing to Ami. There was no bright light, no tunnel, no parade of people welcoming her, or for that matter there to condemn her. Well at least not yet anyway. There was just the fade and its eerie landscape that welcomed her. It seemed disheartening if this was where her soul would spend eternity but Ami doubted that death was just this place. Ami remembered all the times she has been in the fade and every time she remembered how she hated it, but not anymore. Now there was no-one watching, there were no spirits haunting her steps there were no templar's, darkspawn or demons in the shadows of her mind waiting to strike her down, nothing. She was alone, blissfully alone for the first time in her life and it scared her. She closed her eyes and sighed, releasing all the tension of her life in that one deep breath. Death meant peace and she would be able to finally rest easy. This was the first step, letting go, then her soul would move on.

But as was usual with Amilia Amell … the aloneness doesn't last and she feels a tug in her soul.

She felt the arrival of a presence and smiled. She didn't turn around, unwilling to let go of the long awaited _dream_ of being alone for once. But then the presence was waiting, Ami shook her head, sighed and decided she'd better speak to it otherwise she'd _never_ be left alone. She kept her eyes closed, seeing if visually she could dismiss the spirit as she spoke.

"Come to tell me my task is not complete? That I have not done all what I am supposed to have done?" _Maker it would be typical if they did_, she thought. "Or is this my torture for eternity, to never be at peace even in death?" She inwardly groaned; _that would definitely be my idea of hell come to think about it_. "Please pray tell me spirit so I can move on with the unending pain and anguish."

Silence

Ami shook her head and ruefully laughed. "Typical, silent even in death Spirit."

"It _is_ different than the others." She hears a child say.

Ami then turned, confused and her brow knotted at the child before her. Immediately she knows her.

"Asha," she gasps.

The young girl smiled but shook her head. "No." She replied darkly and it is then Ami noticed her eyes, black pools of nothing. "Urthemiel."

"Andrastes holy ass!" Ami gasped stepping back. "Morrigan was right, you have corrupted her."

Urthemiel smirked but began circling her. "Not quite. She and I co-exist, for the moment."

Ami was finding it difficult to take the figure in front of her seriously, never had she seen such jarring concepts. A demon - no, not a demon - an Old God sharing the body of a six year old child, she was horrified. The God seemed to sense this and smiled as it continued to circle her. Ami watched and tried to reign in her fear.

"I have come to change this." Urthemiel began, hands folded behind its back.

Ami narrowed her eyes at the creature as she copied its circling of her. _This wasn't death then? No it had to be, unless this was his part of the fade, __**his**__ domain._

"You would not offer such a thing lightly. Why?" she asked cautiously not doubting the God's power but its intentions. _Why would he wish to send me back? Surely if he wanted me out of the way he'd leave me here._

"Because your daughter wishes it and I wish to appease her." It said after a moment. Ami knew that couldn't be the only reason for this charity.

"So she will help you?" Ami said quietly. "You _think_ by letting me live it will help you control her?" She continued her eyes glaring coldly at the demon. She had decided; it was a demon, it had possessed this poor child in front of her it didn't deserve the title God any longer. No _God _would possess a child, an innocent. She clenched her jaw and grounded herself but the he just laughed.

"I see were she gets her temper from but you have no power here." He wiggled his finger in a dismissive gesture and Ami remembered where she actually was. She was dead and once dead, her body could no longer channel the mana into spells, even in the fade. He smiled but then shook his head dissatisfied, "I have no time for your games. You will live, I know how much you want too so I will do this."

"Why?" Ami growled.

The god looked at her and Ami felt the power within the figure shift. _Perhaps it isn't a good idea to antagonise the Old God Ami_, she then thought. But the Old God smiled a contemplating grin his eyes flicking over her body.

"It is as you said. You are not finished yet. There are things that must happen, things that you must do and you are the key."

"I will be no tool of yours and neither will River!" Ami snarled taking a step towards him, suddenly becoming angry at the idea of being _used _for some attempt at world domination. The God just stood, still smiling at her and shook his head.

"No you are not a tool but you will be useful." It narrowed its black eyes at her. "Asha has told me things and only that information has spared your life. Go. Return to your templar and my mother." The God waved his hand and suddenly Ami felt like she had been punched in the chest by an invisible ogre as she flew across the fade.

But instead of falling down she flew up into Cullen's arms with a gasp of air. Her eyes searched for the demon that possessed the little girl but the world's reality hit home. She was back. She couldn't speak and could barely understand anything that was going on around her. She looked bewildered at the faces that surrounded her, her friends, her family. Wynne was covered in a glow of blue light as was Petra and she distantly heard Wynne say something to Cullen, _my poor Cullen_ she thought, before falling unconscious again.

~v~

Cullen never imagined he would ever see a miracle in his life but then again he had never seen anyone rise from the dead either. Wynne had arrived shortly after Ami had gone limp and her heart had stopped but the old woman hadn't given up.

"She is not beyond reach yet." She had replied, her icy stare determined to restart Ami's heart. She had Petra reluctantly take some lyrium and Morrigan ready herself with poultices after they revived Ami. At first Wynne needed to heal the major wounds but Cullen wouldn't have it. He couldn't believe she was gone and demanded Wynne began the revive spell. She tried reasoning with him but the man was beyond that. Cain had never heard such anguish come from one man and his own grief seemed nothing compared to his loss. Leliana prayed, Morrigan set about with potions and poultices, and her own expression remained neutral but he could see the pain underneath it and Reggie flicked his fingers over the hilt of his daggers. Cullen refused to leave her side as the mages began to work and Cain knew that the slightest indication that they would stop would cause the templar to flip into a frenzy of grief fuelled rage. But before Wynne had even finished the chant Ami's eyes flew open and she leaped upwards into his arms screaming like a banshee as though she had just had a nightmare. The howl was inhuman to their ears but Cullen looked into her eyes and saw only the blue-grey eyes of his love. No demon had returned with her. Wynne and Petra had then switched their spells and concentrated on healing her deep wounds before Ami collapsed again from exhaustion into Cullen's arms.

"Thank you Wynne." He mumbled as he rocked her back and forth in his arms, taking comfort in feeling her warm breath on his cheek.

"Humph," Wynne said looking at him. "It was not me Cullen. She was sent back. By what or who I do not know," she shook her head, "but we are lucky it is only her that returned and not some demon."

"How is she?" Morrigan asked tentatively as she crouched near Cullen.

Wynne stood and sighed. "She will live but there is great damage. It will take a long time for her to heal properly but she will heal eventually."

"Thank the Maker!" Leliana praised. "It's nothing but a miracle."

"A miracle indeed," Wynne agreed arching an eyebrow. "She needs rest and plenty more healing and she will be out for a while. We need to make her comfortable, it will be a lengthy process." She sighed and placed a reassuring hand on Cullen's shoulder.

"Reggie," Cullen called. "Can you see to her rooms? Make sure their safe?"

"Of course." The rogue said, nodding.

Cullen looked down at his sleeping beauty. She had been sent back Wynne said, a miracle Leliana had said, had the maker really had a hand in this? Cullen wasn't entirely sure but he didn't really care. She was alive, she wasn't dead and she hadn't left him here all alone. He gently picked her up and followed after Reggie, Morrigan and Wynne closely following behind him. She was going to need a lot of attention before she was well enough to leave her bed and he wasn't going to leave until she was well.

~v~

Ami returned to the fade and to the endless watching. She groaned at that prospect, death had almost seemed like a holiday she never wanted to return from. Almost, then she was reminded of Urthemiel and she shivered. No doubt she was somehow part of his plans but what part she couldn't understand. She sighed, there was no point thinking about it for the meantime and so sat in the meditating position she normally did.

Far off she could see and feel the nearby demons that were roaming around trying to cross the veil through some poor unfortunate sod. She let out another deep breath and closed her eyes. She was so tired, mentally and physically. She knew she was still badly injured and that was why she had returned to the fade. Her body was exhausted and in desperate need of healing and her mind knew this but the _pain_; the short spell of consciousness had almost fried her senses completely as the sheer amount of it wreaked through her body. For that part she was glad to be back in the fade.

"Why couldn't I for once not have someone watching?" she grumbled quietly to herself.

"Because we like to know how you are and keep you out of trouble child," answered a quite male voice. A voice she knew well from her youngster years and her times in the fade, dreaming. She smiled and remembered she had avoided him these past few months and his return brought a mixed comfort.

Ami had, had enough of people talking to her in the fade, when they talked that is. All of them wanted something from her and ignoring them never did anything but antagonise them more. Swallowing her frustration she breathed in another deep breath and exhaled. "Trouble seems to find me anyway Spirit; leave me be today."

The voice chuckled. "That it does but it is only because you have such a strong heart and soul. Not many like you could do what you have always done." As usual he ignored her request for solitude.

"Because it was the right choice," she finished and she felt the spirit nod in silent agreement.

The spirit did not talk again for a while but Ami knew he wanted to, he _always_ wanted to talk. He was the most talkative out of the spirits that she knew of. She opened her eyes and let out a deep sigh.

"What is it?"

Silence

_Ugh … why do I even humour you?_ She rolled her eyes. _Why do I always talk to you spirit? Why do you even talk to me? _

The spirit interrupted her thoughts as he chuckled again. "You talk because you have to. I listen because you need someone too, who will not judge or offer guidance."

Again Ami snorted. "You lie spirit. You always offer advice even if you claim you do not."

"Do I? Then I apologise."

"Don't bother." She said quietly. "Nothing you would have to say would have changed my decision." She looked off into the distance as the demons fought with each other, it wouldn't be long before they came to try and tempt her with something. At this moment she was weak and easy prey. She closed her eyes, trying to drown out the humming that seemed to follow the watching.

"Someone is trying to talk to you," the spirit called. "Are you going to listen?"

_Unless it's River I don't want to talk to anyone,_ she thought and shook her head.

"I don't want to talk to Duncan. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just met an Old God," she raised her eyebrows and gestured with her hands. "I just got my life handed back to me by a demon I thought I killed six years ago. Forgive me but I _do_ have other things on my mind than the petty and hollow words of someone trying to impute wisdom into me," she said bitterly.

"Mommy," answered her in a voice that made Ami snap her eyes open in disbelief.

There in front of her sat River smiling at her.

"River!" Ami cried and reached for her daughter pulling her close in a tight hug "Oh my little one". She breathed a deep sigh of relief as she felt the return of her daughter's usual and comforting presence. How Ami had missed her. She hardly registered that she was crying at that point as her daughter patted Ami's back to soothe her. She felt the spirit smile and leave them.

She pulled back so she could look into her daughters face and brushed her little girl's hair with her hands. They smiled at each other and Ami put her forehead against River's.

"I'm so glad you are safe!"

"I'm glad you're not dead Mommy," River replied choking back a sob. "When the Old God told me it would help you I didn't believe it. I'm so sorry I didn't mean to leave the tower."

"Hush now my little one. Hush."

River shook her head and pulled away. "It was Asha that saved you, I couldn't save you Mommy. I asked, I begged him but he wouldn't do it unless I agreed to something."

Ami looked at her daughter, "What did he want you to do River?"

"I don't know but Asha told him something, something that he needed that she had hidden from him."

"So Asha is alive?" Ami said hopefully.

River nodded, "She's terrified of him. I can't stay long or he will know but Mommy," she gripped her mother's hand, "be careful he is powerful and his people follow him blindly."

Ami nodded, "I will be my little one but can you help me find you."

River shook her head sadly, "I have Morrigan's ring, and she might be able to help you. That's how I broke through but I can feel its power fading the more I stay."

Ami nodded and kissed her on the cheek. "Be careful my darling girl. I'll find you soon."

River smiled and quickly hugged her mother before standing and disappearing in front of Ami's eyes. Tears fell from her puffed eyes and Ami gently wiped them away. She felt the spirit return to her side, perhaps to offer her comfort so she turned to face him. A pair of grey eyes stared down at her smiling and along with those eyes long auburn hair that was tied back with two braids. He was slender but well built and muscled with large calloused hands that indicated years of hard work in the fields or constant swordplay. She had always asked him why he hadn't heard the Call and moved on and as usual he had just shrugged and waved her off with the excuse that there was something he still had to do, much like Duncan. They had become friends apparently in this plain but unlike Duncan she didn't know how he died, he always refused to tell her including his name.

"You have a plan?" he inquired.

"Get well, get Cullen the Wardens and Morrigan, and find River." Ami said staring up at him.

"Great plan, only one problem," he grinned.

"And what is that Spirit?"

"You still don't know how to find her."

Ami grinned back "I do, Avernus has a vial of her blood, Morrigan has the other ring and I know the best tracker in all of Thedas. We can find her." she replied smiling at him.

"Good," he clasped his hands in front of him and nodded. "You don't need me then."

Ami smiled and shook her head, she knew what that meant. "I'm going to be here a while aren't I?"

"Yep," he ginned widely. "Alone and with me and you've avoided me for months!" He pointed at her, "don't think I didn't notice but we will catch up soon. You need to rest my friend."

Ami nodded and sighed. She felt him leave her and she returned to her meditation where she felt herself slipping into a dreamless state as her mind and body healed.

~v~

Leliana sat near Ami's bed sewing the tattered remains of Ami's favourite cloak. Knowing her friend like she did, she knew that the cloak would bring her some comfort and reassure her that the choices she made were the right ones. Leliana, though still wounded, guarded over Ami as the others set about sorting out the tower. Ami had been unconscious for almost a whole week and much had changed.

Greagoir had been found, though he was in a similar state. Cullen spent most of his time sorting out the remaining Templar's and mages, tower business and running between Ami and Greagoir's rooms. Leliana hadn't seen him today, not yet anyway. She quietly hummed as she stitched away until she heard a shuffling near the door but it wasn't Cullen. It was Petra and Wynne. _Was it that time already_, thought Leliana? She looked up from her work and watched as the two mages entered Wynne carrying strips of linen, a bag of balms and a number of salves while Petra carried a large basin of water. It was time for Ami's redressing. Leliana nodded and moved her sewing to the desk and helped the mages move Ami's limp form.

She was still quite a state. The internal injuries were taking their time and were extensive. On the outside however it seemed that she had nothing but a number of (now non-life threatening) serious deep wounds. These were now only grave purple lines that marred her milky skin. Wynne had explained to Leliana that when Erin had stabbed her, his curved dagger had driven into her side penetrating deep into Ami's stomach and womb. If Ami had not stalled the bleeding when she did Wynne doubted she would have lived long enough for Petra and Cain to find her. She was lucky, she had said, born lucky. Leliana however, couldn't help but feel that her friend wasn't so lucky, not with all the new scars she was going to end up having alongside the Blight's.

Added to the massive jagged arch demon scar that spanned from her shoulder, down her right side to her hip Ami's body now bore four more. On her left shoulder she had a small diamond shaped scar from the blood mage that attacked Cullen and since the blade went completely through her shoulder a smaller diamond scar appeared on her back. Her left side was also fouled by the extensive scar Erin's blade had given her, it began at the top of her hip and then curved upwards into her stomach, and it was the cleanest of all the scars but left the most damage. Her other recent scar was her cheek but Wynne had mentioned it would fade with time. She had a number of smaller ones on her legs and arms but the more impressive, tattoos, as Ami had called them, remained on her upper body.

Leliana watched as Ami's body groaned as the mages set to work on her. The redressing didn't take long and just after Wynne and Petra had settled her back into the bed Cullen entered. He nodded to the mages and Leliana before taking a seat next to her, Leliana thought it strange to see him out of armour and in plain clothes.

"How is she?" he asked, obviously exhausted from dealing with everything else in the tower.

"As well as expected" Wynne replied, washing her hands in the basin. "Her wounds are healing nicely, though some are taking longer. She will be in a lot of pain when she wakes up but that will be expected."

Cullen nodded and placed a hand on her forehead.

"How is everything else?" Leliana asked as she returned to her sewing.

Cullen shrugged, "Quiet. There is little we can do except clear away the dead and offer a ceremony in remembrance." The older mage sighed and nodded. "The rest will take time."

"Has Tork returned?" the bard asked.

Cullen shook his head. "No. As far as I know he is still tracking them."

"Well I shall check on Greagoir and will be back later to check on her before I retire for the evening." Wynne replied, placing a hand on Cullen's shoulders before smiling at him and leaving them.

Leliana watched from the corner of the room as Cullen gently fed Ami soup and talked to her. She smiled as the templar took care of her friend and watched over her even after a full day's work of overseeing the towers rebuild. He was fully deserving of Ami's love, the man was truly devoted to her and Leliana smiled before creeping out quietly as the templar fell asleep next to Ami's unconscious form.

Cullen was exhausted.

He had spent the entire week fulfilling Greagoir's role as Knight-Commander. He spent the majority of his time wandering the halls, sorting paperwork, inspecting the damaged parts of the tower and answering question after question from concerned templar's and mages alike. Many of the younger templar's were looking to him for guidance in regards to their fears over the possibility of resident mages being blood mages. They didn't of course come out and say it but Cullen knew why they were drawn to him. He had himself experienced the same emotions and fears. He reassured them as best he could by encouraging them that the rebels had shown no mercy for mage or templar alike. As soon as he was able he took them to the Upper Library. A gruesome sight but it worked. A number were sick at the sight cursing the rebels for such horrific acts in the name of the maker. Cullen held firm and nodded as his own stomach rebelled at the sight.

"Remember this moment when those thoughts come. These mages and templar's fought against these rebels as comrades and died together." He had looked into the faces of each templar willing them to see as he pointed to the ground. "Here the line between mage and templar was obliterated. I agree that there are times where the line is a necessary barrier but we must remember that only together we can shape this circles future." He then pointed to the bodies that some of the other templar's and mages were taking down with care and respect. "These men and women fought to preserve our home and our lives. We will not make their sacrifice meaningless by going backwards. Understand?"

Cullen watched as the faces of the men harden and they nodded, his words had hit home and their fears banished. He nodded and smiled at them. "I am proud of you all for showing courage and I know when Greagoir is well he will also be proud of you."

The men nodded and filed out after Cullen allocated them duties. He worked closely with the senior staff organising the most important tasks. At least in case of damage there was little of it, bar the doors and interior walls of the Upper Library that Ami had taken down in her battle with Erin. The blood trail she had left through the tower was quickly cleaned during the second day and by the end of the third order had almost been restored but normality would not until classes began again. They were still cancelled until all the bodies had been accounted for, taken to the dungeons and a service conducted. The majority of the senior teaching staff were still performing other duties so the service would have to wait a few more days, luckily the bodies had been preserved by magic and wouldn't spoil before the time came to build the briers. For Cullen there was a long list of dead. Like the previous take over a large number of mages and templar's alike had fought back defending their home and like the last time many had died doing so. There were a few names on the list that niggled at his heart but he knew that there was nothing he could do about it, not then and not now. Sixty names all spanning from young to old, mage and templar. He shook his head and then decided that he was finished for the day.

He grabbed a plate of food from the dining hall and ate it on the way to his room before quickly changing and heading to Ami's. When he got there he arrived just after Wynne and Petra had finished dressing Ami's wounds. He thanked the maker as he wasn't sure if he would be able to handle the sight of her wounds again, she still looked a sight but she was healing quickly. After a few questions the mages left and only Leliana remained but that didn't bother Cullen. He was too tired and the perceptive bard left him alone to his thoughts. He had slumped into his chair next to her and took comfort in the warmth in her hands and the steady rise and fall of her chest under the blankets. It was the same routine that he had performed night after night since she had died. He felt helpless but he wasn't about to leave her side, not at night and not alone, he'd barely slept while keeping watch over her. He wanted her home, he wanted her well and he would try anything to just _fix_ this. He wasn't about to let her go, not without a fight, death would have to fight him to take her again. Cullen soon found himself taken by sleep and slept soundly for a few hours before being stirred by the sound of someone humming a slow familiar tune.

He slowly opened his eyes and glanced at Ami's empty bed. An empty bed. He sat up and shifted in the chair as he looked for the person that was humming. He looked over towards the armoire where Ami sat on a stool trying to pull on a clean tunic with one arm. She was struggling with the garment as her shoulder was still healing from the mages blade, the blade that was meant for him. She wasn't able to move the arm at all and it hung loosely at her side. He surprised her as he gently tugged the tunic down and knelt in front of her staring into those bluish-grey eyes.

"Thank you." She said softly and gave him an uncertain smile.

He grunted and pulled her into a tight hug ignoring her pain-filled groan. She deserved it after all the hell she had just put him through.

"I should kill you myself! Do you have any idea how much hell I've been through!" he scolded into her hair his arms still holding onto her tightly. "You died!" the words were bitter in his mouth as he coughed them out "You died in my arms!"

She didn't say anything, just gritted through the pain as he held her so impossibly tightly against his taught chest.

"Why did you follow us?" he said pulling back and looked at her. "Why didn't you stay with Petra and wait?"

A tear had crept down one of her cheeks but she just smiled at him and ran her thumb over his own cheek, wiping away his tears.

"I told you," she said quietly. "I had to find you, to tell you I need you that I love you." She smiled closed her eyes and sighed. "I-I knew I was dying, you think I didn't know that?" she raised an eyebrow at him and he shook his head, he hadn't known. "I didn't want the last thing I saw to be Petra. I wanted to be in your arms at the end."

"You," but the words died in his mouth as Ami kissed him, her hands cupping his face. He felt her smile against his lips and after she broke away he shook his head. "You will be the death of me, I-I nearly lost it."

Ami smiled and nodded, "I promise to be more careful but it wasn't without it's worth," she held up her hand to stop the obvious retort that would have come out. "I saw River." Cullen relaxed and stared at her expectantly. "She's alive and I think I can find her but we need Morrigan and we'll need to head back to Soldier's Peak."

"You are not going anywhere until you're fully healed," Cullen growled shaking his head.

"I know," Ami nodded and smiled at Cullen's expression as she agreed with him. "I'm no use to anyone half dead. We'll plan and organise the rebuild of the troops as I heal."

Cullen looked at her as though she had just gone mad. "Did I hit my head? Did you just say you'd wait to be at full strength before we go after them?"

Ami chuckled and Cullen's heart rejoiced at the sound. She smiled at him but he felt that her sudden change of heart wasn't just for her own sake.

"I did but that's not my main concern," she looked at him her smile gone and her eyes fearful. "The Old God has surfaced."

"Another Blight? Already?"

Ami shook her head, "No. Morrigan's child, Asha. She is possessed by the Old God and its power is great Cullen. He left the power here in the tower for Erin to use, his men drugged some of the templar's and he was the one to fool River into following after him."

"He's the one that sent you back, isn't he," Cullen said his eyes narrowing at her as she nodded, "Why?"

Ami shook her head, "I don't know but I know River is part of his plans for something."

Cullen grimaced and nodded. There would be a lot of things to do and plan but she needed time to rebuild her strength.

"But she's alive and I have a plan," she smiled. "It's better than nothing." Which was true, there was also Alistair and the Chantry sister and her information, if they pulled their resources they would find her. Ami could organise it all from her bed as she recovered, which by judging from her wounds would be another week of being bed bound. She was not looking forward to that. Her eyes were becoming heavy and she could tell her body wanted to rest again and she groaned.

"You need rest," Cullen said, his voice breaking through her train of thought. He looked at her but then his brow knotted in confusion. An obvious question played on his mind as he looked from the bed to the stool. "How did you get out of bed?"

Ami grinned and looked up at him. "I staggered and nearly ended up crawling over here. It really hurt too," she said truthfully.

Cullen shook his head and pressed her further, "To get a clean shirt? You did all that to get a clean shirt?"

"Yes," Ami said looking a bit sheepish but then she grinned impishly. "Of course! But I'd walk through a horde of darkspawn naked for some real food!" she stared at him seriously. "What the hell have you been feeding me? I feel completely waterlogged!"

Cullen chuckled deeply and shook his head. "Please don't do that. The walking naked part, I think enough people have seen you naked." He replied, equally serious as he pointed a finger at her. Ami grinned and bit her lower lip before nodding. Cullen gently moved to put one hand around her shoulders and the other under her knees and picked her up. Ami smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck and looked into his amber eyes. "To bed then ser knight?"

"Yes my lady but I will not be joining you." He smiled and suppressed a chuckle as she frowned at his response. "I will join you once I feel you're strong enough and you're not at the moment." Ami pouted and Cullen just shook his head. "You're eyes are already struggling, you need to sleep." And he knew he was right as she tried to smother a yawn.

"I don't want to return to the fade!" Ami groaned her eyes rolling at the thought of yet more time in the barren landscape with the damnable spirits.

"Sorry that can't join you otherwise I would." Cullen said regret evident in his voice as he laid her on the bed. Ami turned and smiled at him then leaned in for a sweet gentle kiss before wishing him goodnight. Cullen retook his seat as he watched her slowly succumb to sleep and smiled relieved that she was well.

~v~

"So she's alive? How unfortunate," grumbled Zaphron, as he folded the papers away on his desk. He stared at his spy over his eye glasses and glowered. "Well I suppose if you want something done it is better doing it yourself! You may go."

He dismissed the spy with an equally unimpressed wave of his hand and settled back to his work. His _master_ was playing a dangerous game with the mage and it wasn't a good idea to underestimate her, she had after all, killed one of his best and his friend. He went back to writing until he felt the room grow colder and looked up to see the cloaked figure before him. He shifted uneasily in his chair and nodded to the figure as it approached. The question about why he allowed her to live played on his mind but Zaphron was no fool, to question the God was inviting its wrath and he was more useful alive than dead, at least he thought so anyway.

"She lives because she is needed." The eerie voice of Urthemiel said. Zaphron fought back the urge to visibly shiver at the sound but only encouraged his unease to grow more as the figure almost glided towards his desk. "I fear it will take longer than we had previously thought."

Zaphron narrowed his eyes, "How much longer?"

"Years," the God replied. "She is not as strong as I had hoped. Not yet. But that is my fault for not thinking in mortal terms. Asha is the same, but she has me to draw from."

"What do you propose we do?" Zaphron asked entwining his fingers on the desk. He did not liking where his answer would lead them.

"Wait."

"But we are ready now!" Zaphron argued, rising from his chair.

"But they are not!" The God replied. Though the God didn't use magic the force of his words forced Zaphron to retake his chair as the figure stepped forward. "They have not unlocked enough of their powers to be of much use to me! And the mother," though he couldn't see his face Zaphron knew the God was smiling, "the mother is another key, if the third proves a failure, which I believe he will."

"You don't know the boy isn't like his sisters until you test him!" Zaphron did not want to use the mage as the final key. But the God smiled and tilted its head.

"I know enough to know he will do nothing for my resurrection to power." The figure pulled back the hood and the little girl stood before him, eyes black and watchful. "This little one knows much, but she is strong she still hides things from me."

"Do you need help my lord?" he asked hopeful, but the glare that the child gave him answered his request. "Of course never mind my impudence."

"You will remember your place Zaphron." The God stepped towards him, now only two strides away. "I may look like a child but you know my power. You think that I will not hesitate to kill you where you stand when there are others who will gladly take your place?"

Zaphron swallowed audibly and nodded silently. The God just smiled and pulled back his hood. "I will return once I know how we should proceed. Get some rest Zaphron, you look tired."

Then the figure left and Zaphron relaxed, slumping back into his chair. This was not as easy as he had thought it would be. Urthemiel's lust for power was becoming dangerous and even Zaphron knew that. He was not in any position to stop the God if he became unstable. The fact that the girl was able to resist him was a testament to the three's strength, if the boy was in fact able to draw from their powers. The God wasn't convinced, which meant neither should Zaphron and this made him uncomfortable. If the mother was indeed the key then she was a prize worth keeping but Zaphron couldn't shake the uneasy feeling he had about her and her daughter. Amell would have to be watched, closely, he didn't want this mageling getting underneath his feet or involved in his plans or her spawn. But angering the God was too risky and if, _if_ the mage was needed then he would agree to it, but not until then.

Zaphron shook his head and went back to work, his report wasn't going to finish itself.

~v~

A week had gone by and Ami had grown bored. In reality she had been bored since the second day and after organising her plan, sending off Morrigan and Cain to Soldier's Peak to recover River's blood and call in on her friend, there was little else she could do. Except read. Leliana had brought her some books from the library but they were all things she either knew or had read before and so asked her to pick something from the restricted library on the fourth floor. It was while she was reading through the large tome that something grabbed her attention. A technique called mind communication. It enabled the mage to communicate mind to mind with a person of their choice, through an act of will, power and a simple incantation.

Excited by her find she showed it to Wynne who had agreed to help her. So far their attempts had worked, albeit it in only short distances. Now since Wynne had gone Ami was alone and bored so attempted to entertain herself by practicing the technique. It was while thinking of who to call when Cullen came to her mind, she smiled, Cullen had been gone for hours taking care of the tower while Greagoir recovered.

_-Cullen,_ her mind called.

Nothing, so she tried again, this time with a little more force.

_-Cullen_

_-Ami?_

_-Yes!_

_-Am I going insane?_ Ami could sense the uncertainty behind his mind and smiled as she imagined him looking over his shoulder to look for her.

_-No, I'm trying a new technique._

_-Oh … that's just creepy …_ Ami could tell he was finding this strange and giggled. …_ did you just laugh at me?_

_-Yes!_ She replied, pleased that he could sense her own amusement at his reaction to the technique.

_-This could come in handy, you know. _

_-I thought of that. What are you doing?_

_-Talking to Wynne but I think she can hear us, she's staring at me. _

_-Yes I can hear you_, answered Wynne, _Ami get back to bed and Cullen you are being rude!_

_-Sorry Wynne_. Ami called, hearing the disapproval of the first enchanter. _Bye Cullen_.

Perhaps the technique wasn't quite as secretive as she thought; it was useful definitely, but not secret enough to allow private conversations. Ami sighed, at least she could use it and she had done something productive with her time. She took out a piece of parchment and began scribbling down some strategies for dealing with the blood mages that they would inevitably meet. Erin's technique of Blood Linking chilled her bones and had caught her off guard. A simple scratch and he had joined his pain to her own, whatever damaged he sustained she did too. What she needed was a technique that shielded her skin but didn't draw too much on her powers but such a technique had eluded her in the tomes and books Leliana had brought her, even from the restricted library.

She heard the creek of her door opening and looked up to find Morrigan standing in her doorway.

"Ah you're awake and here I thought I was going mad," she said as she smiled at her. Obviously Morrigan had heard her mind communication with Cullen and was relieved she was not in fact going mad. "We have the blood and Alistair is here. It seems the Chantry have been hiding these rebels for quite some time."

"Of course they have," Ami sighed. "Can't have a secret society like that and not be revealed to the higher ups can they?"

Morrigan smirked and tilted her head curious about the pile of books littered haphazardly about the room.

"What _are_ you looking for?"

Ami shook her head whilst returning to the book in front of her. "It's something I've been trying to find but I doubt it actually exists. I'm trying to figure out how to shield myself from a blood mage cutting my skin. A skin shield if you will."

Morrigan looked thoughtful, "An interesting idea sister, though I can see where you would find this technique difficult, it seems something that a mage powerful in the spirit ways of magic than the primal would accomplish."

"Mmm I thought that but then I thought if we can all create spirit and arcane shields surely a skin shield is something that should come naturally?"

Morrigan seemed to think on it for a moment before offering her thoughts. "Perhaps strengthening the arcane shield and pulling its effect inward, instead of outward?"

Ami snapped her fingers at a sudden idea causing a knowing grin to pass Morrigan's lips. She knew that meant Ami had an idea of how to attempt the technique and she was rewarded by the chirpy smile and the cheeky glint in her eyes.

"I may have figured it out Morri, thank you," she shuffled to the edge of the bed, "and if it works I'll be famous!"

"Besides for being the Hero of Ferelden?" Morrigan smiled.

Ignoring the remark Ami stood and created an arcane shield around her stool. Morrigan's shoulder's tensed; _she wasn't going to attempt it in here was she?_ As the concentration in Ami's face became more strained Morrigan had her answer. As she looked at the shield however, it wavered unstably, Ami was not strong enough to cast even the simplest spells. Morrigan shook her head and stood in front of her, knocking Ami's concentration off.

"You should not-" she stopped as Ami lifted her hand.

"Shielding takes little effort, you know this, I'm trying to adapt it, that's why it wavered."

"By doing what?" Morrigan was confused and not convinced by Ami's reasoning. "How do you propose to make this shield?"

Ami smiled. "By combining them," she said simply. "A spirit shield," she indicated in one hand, "and an arcane shield," indicated by her other, "together," and she brought her hands together to finalise the point.

"Huh," Morrigan said in complete amazement and she laughed. "I think that may just work and if it does," she gave Ami a sly grin, "we may have a way of fending off these blood mages without getting too hurt."

"My thoughts exactly." Ami smiled, "It's also something they won't see coming."

"Ah the element of surprise. I like it," she nodded.

"Good, because you can help me!" Ami grinned going for her staff that was leaning against the wall. "These damned so-called friends won't let me practice magic!"

Morrigan chuckled her arms folded, "So am I, sister."

Ami spun and looked at her. "Damn you swamp witch!" She cursed, mouth gaping and her brow furrowed.

"Such eloquent language you speak sister, maybe I won't try creating this new shield for you."

"Morrigan!" she growled like a child.

The witch chuckled and nodded, "Very well, where do we begin?"

* * *

Wooo new chapter, again going up unbetaed since my beta is just back from China and moving house. So i will not hassle her with this drivil until later on ... but i thought of you my lovely readers and wanted to update you with the most recent chapter as soon as i'd finished.

Right shout out to **Arnaut, Auranara** and **Natmonkey** for adding me to your alerts, favs etc! Thank you so much!

Well i hope people are happy that Ami did infact come back from the dead lol Wolfe's Princess i know i was mean and it was horrible to write but it had to be done, i'm glad i made you cry though it means my crappy attempt at writing worked. Please read and review, any kind of review i appreciate them all and they do help me keep on track.

Shout outs go to Trudi Cavanan, who i'm obsessed with reading at the moment. Her books The Black Magicians Trilogy is a must read!

Thanks hope you have enjoyed this latest installment, Mousemage


	22. Warden's Call

22. Warden's Call

River had become used to her cell. Its four walls offered little to the imagination of where and what sort of building she was in but she knew one thing, it was on the coast. She could smell the salt in the air and hear the distant pounding of the waves as they hit the cliffs. She sighed it had been ten days since she had spoken to her mother in the fade and she was beginning to get restless. Her captors had been little in giving her conversation so she knew nothing except the daily routine of food and water being brought to her. So, to stave off boredom she resorted to spending her time refining the few things that her instructors had told her to practice.

That had stopped a day ago when Asha and Urthemiel had come into her cell. River tried to reach Asha through the mental link they shared but the girl didn't answer, possibly in fear of her new master. Urthemiel on the other hand was interested in her strengths and how far her powers had developed. He didn't seem impressed and grew impatient when River refused to cast anything in front of him. _Mages do not cast on demand_ she spat at him. In retaliation he had cast a repulsion glyph warding any magic other than his own from being cast in her cell. A punishment he had said for her lack of appreciation. River had snorted and then sat in the middle of the floor glaring at him. She folded her arms had let out a sigh and then grinned. Closing her eyes she felt for the magic and then after hearing a hiss of annoyance from him knew she had effectively dispelled his wards. How, she had no idea, but she had achieved it.

He had left after that and River couldn't have been more relieved. It wasn't probably the best plan to anger the God but if he needed her then he couldn't harm her, not yet anyway. She had mastered all the basic control techniques her tutors had assigned her and was able to summon her draw to the fade instinctively rather than erratically. She smiled as she looked at her hands, the power within them was strong even more than the older apprentices she had been studying with but she knew that without training and honing her skills no amount of power was going to do anything to help her.

She decided she needed to be prepared, somehow. Her mentor had told her of spell shields and she decided she would try and create one so if the old God did attack her she would be protected at least from his magic. She couldn't let out strikes yet like her mother did, the only thing she could really do was call fire and even that was still unpredictable at times. Fire was a dangerous element, difficult to control and manipulate. Ami had told her she was a fire mage so it would take time but hopefully not too long, especially since the progression of her powers tied in with her emotional state. The old God was definitely _not_ helping her to remain calm and in control. She was able to form a basic shield out of light but that would deter nothing and the only way she would learn how to create one was through practice, trial and error.

River took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. She would have to start practicing again and take the risk of Urthemiel seeing her perform magic. She just hoped it would be enough to protect her if he did decide to kill her. She wished that her mother would hurry.

~v~

Cullen sat next to Alistair at what the King had effectively called their war council. In a way that's what it was, a Grey Warden War Council with the King and his allies and generals gathered around a large table within one of the training rooms of the tower.

Across from Cullen sat Ami as they flanked the king on either side of the long table and to her right sat Emisa while on Cullen's sat Reggie. During their short time together the templar had developed a soft spot for the young man and had decided to take him under his wing. Along the rest of the table the warriors of the Blight were reunited and were being introduced to the new Ferelden wardens. The new meeting the old as it were. Along with River's blood Alistair had in effect nearly emptied Soldier's Peak of all the Wardens Markus would allow. As Cullen looked at their faces he counted three new faces but all were known to him and he wasn't convinced, if anything he was slightly off put and wary.

As Markus had other duties to attend he had not joined himself but instead had sent these three. A mage, a dwarf and a man. The mage Anders an infamous escapee of the tower, Sigrun a Legion of the Dead dwarf and Howe the ex-noble; who had also attempted to murder Ami during one of her trips to the Keep. Ander's and Howe in particular made him uneasy but Ami, sensing his unease about the well known escapee and the attempted murderer sent him a reassuring smile. Along with these three Jowan had returned, though he looked as uneasy as Anders to be back in the confines of tower. That meant there were eight wardens in the tower minus Tork. If Alistair had been able to round up everyone that would have brought the number up to at least eighteen but Markus had obviously deterred him.

Along the other end of the table sat the majority of Ami's companions from during the Blight. Leliana, Zevran, Morrigan, Oghren, Sten (who had remained in Ferelden as Qunari ambassador) and Wynne stood at the far end talking amongst themselves and Cullen watched as a sad smile crossed Ami's lips a seeing everyone together to help her and Alistair. Cullen moved his hand across the table and after giving her hand a tight squeeze saw her nod. She cleared her throat and slowly stood to address them.

"You all know why you're here and I'd like to thank you all for coming," she began and looked around the table at each of them. "The task before us is not an easy one but I'm confident that we will be able to achieve it. I know I do not know some of you as well as I'd like," she glanced at the three Vigil recruits, "but don't concern yourself with that for now. There is a demon to hunt and it has taken something precious, a child." Ami faltered before she finally said, "_My_ child." Her hand grasped her staff tighter as she leaned on it and she glanced around the faces. "I will not hold it against anyone if they choose not to help me find her but the enemy has attacked one of our own; River was born with the taint and so by default is a Grey Warden. She is your kin, whether you know her or not but most of all she is innocent."

A hand came on her shoulder and Ami visibly relaxed though her hand gripped her staff tighter, her knuckles whitening. It was Emisa and as the little elfish woman looked up at her Ami nodded allowing her to speak.

"You are the Warden Commander, the true leader of the Grey in Ferelden," she began. "I do not have to remind those here of your acts. Who are we to say no when you have all saved our lives or given us a purpose?" Emisa smiled and she looked down the line of her fellow wardens before standing and bowing to Ami. "We are with you Commander, to the bitter end."

A low grumble came from the corner where the Vigil recruits stood. Ami shot a dark glance in their direction. "You have an opinion Nathaniel? Speak."

The dark haired man shifted his stance and folded his arms and glowered at her. After helping them with the Vigil the ex-noble still seemed to harbour ill-feelings for her.

"Was it not by one of our own that allowed this demon to come into existence?" he growled. "Should we really follow that individual who readily puts aside their morals and the Warden's duty for the sake of their own selfishness?"

The sudden scrape of a chair moving and a hand brutally hammering the table startled Ami as she turned to see Alistair, enraged, pointing a finger at the Howe.

"Don't you _dare_ say anything about morals Howe! My wife is already on my case about you being a Warden." he spat. "But we are talking about an innocent child here, yes I made a mistake but I neither regret that mistake then or now. Ferelden is better off with both of us alive!" he pointed to Ami and himself. "Where would you be if it weren't for her? Show some damn Maker well respect!"

"Enough!" Ami interjected by placing her hand on Alistair's shoulder, "Peace Alistair, peace! Nathaniel is entitled to his opinion, of this and of us," she turned to the rogue. "If you do not wish to help us then you may return to the Vigil. You are not my wardens to command and I will not hold any grudge or ill feeling Nathaniel."

Nathaniel grunted and shook his head, uncertainty crossed his features and he remained silent until the small female dwarf stepped forward. Sigrun smiled and slightly bowed her head in respect. Ami returned the gesture and offered her the floor with a gesture of her hand.

"Commander," she began and she glanced around the table. "I know that during the Blight you were alone with only the two of you to really stop that black nightmare. I also know you are a woman of your word and that you hold honour and duty highly."

Nathaniel stepped forward. "Sigrun no!"

"Hush Nate," she growled. "We are Wardens and she is one of our Commanders. I will go with you and fight by your side." She crossed her arms across her chest and did a customary warrior's bow.

"Well isn't that a pickle!" Anders remarked rolling his eyes and folding his arms. "You know we can't let you go without us little dwarf?"

Sigrun turned and grinned at the mage, "I was counting on that."

"My, Alistair and Cain weren't the only idiots the Wardens recruited, there are more of them," Morrigan mumbled earning a sharp glare from Alistair and Nathaniel, Cain merely chuckled and continued to lean against the wall.

Ami smiled but Sten interrupted her before she could say anything else.

"Do not insult the Kadan," the large Qunari growled. "She is a warrior of great ability and strength, and she will surprise you just as she surprised me. You will honour her or leave," he pointed at the Vigil Wardens as he towered above them.

Nathaniel and Anders looked up at the giant and both shrank back a little. Ami raised her hand again to calm the tension.

"Peace! … Peace. We have much to do and plan before we go anywhere. Tork has let me know where they have roughly gone but my honourable Sten," she placed a hand on his shoulder, "we will need your superior skills to find them."

"My blade is yours to command Kadan," the giant bowed his head.

"Thank you. Now this is my plan we will be two groups, each with two mages a healer in each one and everyone else equalled out. Understand?" the group nodded. "Good. I will lead the first group, Anders will be our healer, Cullen, Nathaniel, Sten, Reggie and Cain will come with us. Everyone but Tork, Artie, Jowan and Emisa will be the second group." Ami looked at Jowan and Emisa, "I want you to be back up just in case something happens to either group." The two nodded and agreed and Ami turned back to the map of the area Tork had roughly plotted out the group's whereabouts.

The discussion went long into the evening before everything was finally organised. The majority of the Warden's had then turned in for the night and only a Cain, Emisa and Anders stood talking. As Ami turned to leave she noticed Wynne approach Cullen and ask to speak with him. As her love followed the mage some distance away Ami smiled knowingly. After a few moments she watched as Cullen placed a hand on Wynne's shoulder and smiled reassuringly. Ami smiled wider, Wynne had finally told him and she saw the tears that rolled down the mages cheek as she watched Cullen take his leave and walk over to where Ami was standing. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and guided her out. A sly grin came across his face as he looked around to see that the hallway was empty and then down at her.

"What's wron," but her words were cut off as his lips found hers and she mewled realising it had been _far_ too long since they had last done this. As they broke away to breathe Cullen wrapped his arms tighter around her.

"I've missed you and you've been driving me crazy these past few days."

Ami smirked and raised an eyebrow, "Oh. Well _I_ wasn't the one who said we shouldn't … erm … do … _that_… in my condition."

"Shut up you," and he began kissing her neck as he spoke, "you were injured," another kiss, "you _died_ for Andraste's sake." Another kiss and then he nibbled her earlobe drawing out more mewling from Ami's throat.

His hands were finding the folds in her robes and Ami bit her lip from making any more sound but Cullen's lips and hands were making it almost _impossible_. She gently pushed him away and hovered her lips above his while whispering a question to who's rooms was closer before kissing him so passionately that when she broke the kiss it left him breathless and hungry. He gripped her tighter and with a quick thrust, threw her over his shoulders and began marching off towards his rooms.

In the shadows Morrigan smiled but it was short lived as she felt a presence next to her. Cain emerged out of the doorway and smiled.

"Ah love," he sighed watching the Commander being hauled away to the Templar's room.

Morrigan folded her arms and sighed. "What do you want Cain?"

Amused that she had used his name again and not a number of different derogatory titles Cain decided to ignore the harshness in her voice, knowing full well that she was using it to cover up her true feelings. So he continued to smile at her.

"I thought you would like some company my lady witch."

"Company?"

"I know, but as strange as it sounds I don't like seeing you on your own, you seem lost."

Morrigan raised an eyebrow, curious about why he should think that. "I have been alone most of my life, with only my mother for company but I do not see how that is a problem."

Cain grinned and shook his head. "It wouldn't be but I am of the opinion that your mother was a horrid swamp witch who tried to possess you." Cain grinned as Morrigan tensed slightly and glared a little at him. "You should seek some sort of company, a woman of your beauty and," Cain paused as he looked at her fondly. "many qualities should not be alone."

Morrigan laughed, "Qualities? And what pray tell me Warden are my qualities? Magic, the ability to survive, to bare a child into the world?"

"There are a great many my dear and many you would no doubt think not to count but they define you, and to many including myself find them and you captivating."

Morrigan turned to him and then suddenly dropped her gaze. Since battling through the tower she had felt strange things in her stomach flutter about and she continually tried to dismiss the warm feelings she had for the irritating Warden. There was much about him that infuriated her and then he would come out with the strangest and inspiring things to say. Like now. She felt him gently take her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his. As he lowered his face on to hers she expected him to kiss her on the mouth but was surprised when he grazed her forehead with a sweet tender kiss and then brushed her cheek with his thumb before wishing her goodnight and leaving her alone in the hallway.

The lack of his warm touch left her cold and wanting again. She vigorously shook her head and turned to her own rooms for the eve, there were more things to be concerned with than the ideas of love. _Love_, she scoffed, _love grows rotten on the vine, so quickly. A sour fruit, that offers only a memory of sweetness, what was it worth, truly?_ Yet when she saw her only true friend experience it she was left feeling unsure and unable to decide. Maybe her own experiences of love were false? Ami herself did not find it the first or second time, they were thwarted but now, the third time it was and seemed to be working.

_What am I thinking, love will only make this worse, I have a child and old God to deal with_. Morrigan shook her head and wandered down to her chambers to try and get some rest before their journey began the next day.

~v~

River looked around her fade and sighed. She had still not been able to contact her mother even through the fade. She folded her legs under herself and relaxed her shoulders as she settled into her meditation. She had struggled to properly master the practice that her mother had taught her as it involved emptying her thoughts and purging all stress from her mind. That had not been easy with Urthemiel and Asha coming to see her every few days now that she had resumed her training.

River let out a long breath and tried again to still her mind but something was niggling at the edge of her senses. She growled and rubbed her temples with the palms of her hands.

"_Ugh!_ What is it!"

Silence.

"Ugh maker now I know what my mother meant by the damnable spirits."

A light chuckle replied and River looked around her. She stood to get a better look as a fuzzy image began to emerge from the haze of the fade.

"River," a child's voice called and slowly out of the gloom Duncan appeared grinning.

River narrowed her eyes at her brother. "What are you doing here Duncan?" She hissed. "I warned you days ago not to come here, the Old God he's dangerous he could trap you here!"

"He's already visited me." Duncan mumbled, kicking an invisible stone away. He placed his hands in his leggings pockets and shrugged. "He said I was useless. I'm not useless am I?" he looked at River with a scowl and she shook her head and offered him a reassuring smile. "I know mum says I should've been raised by dogs but Da just says it's the way of being a kid."

"Dad says that to me too," River said quietly, dropping her gaze from Duncan. "But Cullen just laughs and tells me to work hard and I'll work it out, whatever it is, eventually."

"Is that your Da? Well, your other Da?" Duncan asked.

River smiled and nodded. "He's a templar too, well he was now he's helping my mother find me and Asha."

Duncan grimaced and folded his arms. "I don't trust her."

"Who Asha?"

Duncan nodded. "There's something she's not telling you. I … I felt it when she came with Him into my fade."

"I thought that but you can't blame her. She's trapped, with him inside her head and controlling nearly every part of her. We have to save her!"

Duncan looked at her as if she had grown another head. "Save her? She got you into this mess!"

"She was tricked … I'm sure of it!" River grumbled, clenching her hands into fists.

Duncan shook his head. "It doesn't matter what we need to do is to get you out of here. Do you want me to contact dad?"

River shook her head. "Mum … find Amell. She is the only one that can find me."

Duncan sighed, "That's not going to be easy." He shook his head, "your mum blocks lesser dreamers, it was hard enough breaking through to you."

"So it does work then? This meditation?"

Duncan shrugged, "I dunno but it was hard enough to get you to listen to me. Perhaps it's to build up resistance against demon persuasion?"

River mulled over it and shrugged before she grasped her brothers arm and pulled him into a hug. "I'll see you soon brother."

"Good and I hope at least I can get word to Amell and Dad otherwise I'll have to come out and save you sister."

River smiled and nodded as her brother tilted his head and poked her in the shoulder. River laughed and watched as he turned and walked away into the growing mists leaving her alone in the fade again.

~v~

"Maker's bloody tits!" Ami gasped waking from her dream. She sat bolt upright, panting, her eyes wide as she tried to piece together what the child had done. Ami struggled to stop herself from running out and vomiting outside the tent. How could he be so strong? Her head swam with scenarios but none would answer her questions. This task would end bloody, she knew that but what was the cost going to be?

She looked to the sleeping templar at her side and a pained expression crossed her face. Her lover knew what would happen; the three of them at least would live. In some distant future she would be chained, imprisoned and tortured, her very life brought to the end and back again to begin the endless pain again. He had not of course told her that but her power within the fade had found it in his dreams.

Since telling her his dreams of the future Ami had watched over him in the fade, walking side by side with him as the dreams came and went. Many were fragmented making little sense; two filled her with joy whereas the rest filled her with fear and horror. She didn't tell Cullen she watched him in his dreams, a silent companion who walked with him, unseen and invisible to his dreaming state. She could interfere but consequences of such action would be devastating to his already scared mind. Being a Waker was the only reason he had survived the torture of the coup and even though Ami knew he had healed the scars from that event were deep and could never really be totally understood. She would not risk loosing him again just to satisfy her curiosity.

Cullen stirred and his eyes flickered open and stared up at her. He smiled but seeing her pained expression sat up and stroked her arm. His brow furrowed and he silently asked the question.

"I-I" Ami could not find the words to tell him. All that filled her mind were thoughts of him and River. Her lip quivered as she thought of her daughter and she wrapped her arms around herself protectively. "I want her in my arms Cullen. I want her home." She nestled her head into his chest as the quiet sobs took hold. Cullen placed a hand behind her head and on her back and pulled her close.

"Hush my love, hush." He said gently. "She has been taught well. She has your brains and Alistair's strength and both of your talents. When we find her we will bring her home."

Ami hiccupped as she regained control and nodded before meeting his gaze and offering him a small smile.

"I think I shall have a short walk to clear my head. Go back to sleep my love, I won't be gone long I promise."

Cullen stared at her for a few moments, searching her face, when he found nothing he nodded and began to settle back into his bedroll. Ami let out a deep breath and wrapped a blanket around her before leaving the tent into the open air.

She looked around the camp hoping to see Morrigan or Zevran on watch. She groaned inwardly, remembering that she had sent them both with Alistair to make sure the young King did not get himself killed. Instead she saw it was Nathaniel sitting near the fire sharpening his blades. She didn't know why she had made him come with her for his stoic nature and the undercurrent of whatever his issue was with her grated on her senses. She made her presence known by kicking a nearby stone; she didn't want to surprise him and end up with a knife in the chest.

"You need not make yourself known Commander. I can smell you." Nathaniel suddenly said, his eyes never leaving his daggers.

Ami narrowed her eyes at his comment but said nothing and took a seat on a nearby log.

"Nightmares Commander or demons?"

Ami eyed him but said nothing before shaking her head and answering "Neither."

"Something else then?" Nathaniel enquired.

"For someone who does not care for company, especially mine, you have an odd way of showing it?" Ami said before thinking. Anger took over her already clouded mind and she scolded herself for acting like a fool. "I apologise Nathaniel, it has been difficult these two weeks. I did not mean to take my impatience on you."

They fell into silence for which Ami was grateful she was in no mood for conversation until Nathaniel spoke.

"I do not hate you Commander."

Ami glanced at him and he continued. "I did, at least I thought I did at the beginning when I had first heard of the death of my father." He flicked a piece of grass into the fire and looked at her. "But then after meeting you and nearly killing you, you made me a warden. You should me the truth, a truth that was difficult at first but I have mastered it."

"Then why the hostility?" Ami asked.

Nathaniel sighed and shook his head. "You have no idea how infuriating you can be, do you?" he looked up and Ami grinned.

"I have some idea." She admitted.

"I was furious that you did not move me to Soldiers Peak but left me under Markus. Then I found out that Jowan was made your second along with Cain," he scowled, "that lecherous grunt. Then I find out that the little girl we are told to be searching for is possessed by a demon your lover brought into existence."

Ami restrained from correcting Nathaniel and resolved to continue to listen.

"Then and only then does Markus let me and the others help."

Ami let out a long breath, organising her thoughts before she answered him.

"You are so infuriating Nate," she finally said and grinned as he scowled at her. "I didn't exactly trust you after you attempted to take my life. In fact I nearly did everything to convince Markus that we should hand you over to Varel and let him deal with you but that Orlesian bastard is as persuasive as chocolate." Nathaniel's brow furrowed at the comparison but didn't say anything.

"Anyway, making you a warden was the last thing on my mind but I agreed with him in the end that it would be a suitable punishment. I half expected you to die but you lived and have proven him right in the end for which I am glad." Ami smiled, hoping the ex-noble could see her sincerity. "I didn't hold your anger and misguided hate against me but I couldn't let it rule my decisions either. It was Cullen's council that finally cemented my decision to have you under Markus, I think he believed that if you were under Markus's council and leadership you would settle in time. Markus didn't agree but at the time Amaranthine was being over run so there wasn't much choice."

"As to Jowan and Cain," Ami grinned. "I have known Jowan all my life but his actions at the tower and at Redcliffe meant I had to keep him under close watch and under intense training to regain the trust of others. Cain, well," Ami waved her hand mindlessly, "he is a charmer but someone who can command easily, despite his lacking in commitment. I hope that gives you some peace."

"And the child and Alistair?"

Ami sighed and shrugged. "Six years is a long time to be angry at someone who saved my life. The fact is Alistair gave me what I always wanted, a family. I have River and I have Cullen now thanks to him. Yes it might have been selfish then but as time has gone on I think it has become something selfless."

"He hurt you deeply."

"Yes," Ami said simply, "but I wouldn't change it, now or then."

Nathaniel breathed in deeply and let out a long breath and leaned back into the log. He watched the commander stare into the fire deep in thought for a short while. He couldn't see how this woman could be the same age as him and have this amount of wisdom and understanding about not only her own choices but others. He shook his head and sat straight.

"You should rest Commander, tomorrow will be a long day. We will be nearing Highever Town tomorrow then it will be only a few leagues to where Tork will meet us."

Ami nodded absently and sighed. "Yes, make sure you get some rest Nate."

The rogue nodded, wished her goodnight and watched as she wearily walked back to her tent. He looked into the fire and sighed again. _The world is full of strange mysteries_, he thought. Never did he think he would be here of all places with his fathers murderer and actually have not only respect for her but thanks. Thanks that she had stopped a man mad with power and ambition from ruining more lives not just his own family. The maker did have a sense of humour.

~v~

_The ground of the fade is a ghostly brown colour set against the misty reddish haze of some illumination that resembles a sunrise sky. It's eerie and wrong and the feeling Ami gets as she walks forward sends shivers down her spine. She looks for Cullen but doesn't see him anywhere, not only that but she can't seem to grasp a sense of him either. She wants to shout his name but she knows that will only attract things that are better left undisturbed. A demon attack here could prove fatal for both their minds. _

_Ami carries on walking the never endless road of the fade. Cliffs and rock formations form as she nears them, opening up into a deep gorge. She finally see's Cullen in the middle of the vast gorge and standing in front of him is a huge red-scaled dragon. Ami freezes and watches in horror as the beasts tail wipes about behind it and its wings move preparing itself for flight but it can't. Ami sees the chains that contain the beast. Large shackles trap it to the ground one on each leg and a large one around its neck allows its massive head to only move so far. There are symbols and glyphs carved into the beasts shackles denoting any attempt but the right one to release the monster from its bonds. Cullen stands before it tall and defiant but he seems dwarfed in the shadow of the arch demon. Ami can hear their conversation despite the distance._

"_She shall free me," taunts Urthemiel, "she shall free me and there is nothing you can do!"_

"_I won't let it happen!" Cullen growls._

_Urthemiel laughs loudly, the deep rumble vibrates through the ground and the fade floor shakes beneath them. _

"_There is nothing you can do to stop her coming to me, you will not kill your love you are too weak for that!"_

"_You won't get near her demon! I'll be there protecting her!" Cullen spits out._

_Urthemiel roared with laughter before striking out and taking Cullen into his grasp, trapping the templar in its claws. _

"_Oh such honour, such devotion!" the beast chides. "She knows your dreams, she watches from the fade. She will not allow you to die as much as you will not allow her to die again. Neither of you will die, not yet. You will see me only once before this quest ends then never again till the day I return for her." Urthemiel's eyes blinked, the white eyes burrowing into Cullen's soul. All Ami could do was watch, pray and cursed her inability to help him. The old God chuckled and seemed to smile. _

"_You have not seen that day yet but you will. Two will die in your quest, one you will both watch and another you will find in the rubble of your own ruin." Urthemiel laughed again before dumping Cullen back to the brown earth. "So much anger and much power will be unleashed these next fifteen years from your little family." His eyes flicked to where Ami stood watching and she froze under his gaze as the old god seemed to examine her. _

"_Twins … how very tempting," he said before turning back to Cullen. "You are fortunate mortal to be the seed for such offspring. The children of the Grey will be very strong be careful with them."_

"_Offspring?" Cullen wheezed._

"_Yes, you are going to be a father Waker, be proud." Urthemiel repeated before slowly beginning to fade into the mist. "I shall be waiting for you when you arrive." His voice echoed then faded into nothing. _

_And then he was gone, along with the gorge and the haze of the red sky and the brown earth of the fade. Ami unconsciously went to her stomach and clutched it protectively. _

~v~

Cullen awoke with a start, reaching to his side he found Ami gone. He scrambled out of the tent and scanned the campsite but only seeing the Vigil Warden Nathaniel and Reggie he barked them over. Both of them looked at him with wary eyes and slowly moved towards him. His jaw was clenched and his expression hard and he bit down the urge to shout them to move their lazy behinds forward more quickly.

"Where is Ami?" he snapped.

Reggie and the other rogue looked at each other, a thought passed between them before they looked back at the templar. Cullen scowled and then pointed a finger at them.

"Tell me where she is, now!"

"She's right here!" a voice called to his left.

Anders threw back the canvas flap of his tent to glare at the templar. He moved slightly aside so Cullen could see Ami lying, unconscious, on the floor of his tent with her robes rolled up, her leggings pulled down to reveal her stomach.

"What in the Maker's name do you think your doing?" bellowed Cullen as he began to march towards the mages tent.

"Examining my patient you oafish brute!" growled Ander's, who was already calling magic to his finger tips. Nathaniel and Reggie stepped forward and halted his approach.

Cullen stopped in his tracks, "Patient?" he looked between the two rogues. "Why? What's wrong?"

Nathaniel was the one who answered, his eyes narrowed, suspicion evident on his features. "Why don't you tell us? She came screaming out of your tent, something about the fade and how could he possibly know and then suddenly she stands stock still and moments later faints."

Cullen remained silent but then he realised that all three of them were waiting for some sort of explanation so he finally relents and lets all his fury drain out of him into one long breath. He tells the three men about his dream and the arch demon and how he can see glimpses of the future. It's at that point where Ander's snorts a laugh but a quick hard glare from Nathaniel is enough to silence any comment and he resumes checking over his patient. After Cullen finishes telling them everything the four of them let it sink in, in silence until Nathaniel pulls him towards Ander's tent and they all settle inside, cramped as it is, to discuss it quietly.

Cullen places a hand on her forehead and she groans but remains asleep. Cullen looks to Anders but the mage just shrugs.

"It's like she's in some sort of delayed shock, there is nothing wrong with her physically but she might be stuck in the fade for a while."

Cullen sighed, "Is she pregnant?"

Anders nods, "Not long though, about three weeks. Though I doubt even she knew about it."

"Maker's Breath," he gasped and he looked at the frowning face of Nathaniel. "I … we didn't plan this, not yet anyway."

Nathaniel remained silent and stared between the templar and the mage. Their union was a forbidden one but love knew no boundaries. He looked at Anders and asked him if there was anything he could do.

"Apart from try and enter the fade there is nothing I can really do. Since we don't have lyrium and a bunch of mages around to spare we don't have any options but to wait it out."

Nathaniel nodded and turned back to Cullen who had now gathered her into his arms and was mumbling something from the chant of light in a vain attempt to reach her. He wanted to leave them alone, however the more he watched the more he was intrigued by the scene unfolding. Cullen took her left hand into his right and squeezed gently.

"Maker's breath Ami you can't do this now! You've already put us through enough heart stopping attention seeking antics! Wake up!"

Nathaniel was surprise by the harshness of his words but the small smile that crept along Ami's lips stopped him from scolding him.

"I was resting you fool," she said, her voice rough and dry.

"Stupid woman!" cursed Anders. "You know you shouldn't watch dreamers! You got sucked in didn't you?"

"Sucked in?" Reggie asked, an eyebrow raised as he sat on his knees.

"Yes sucked in, to templar boy here's dream!" the blonde mage hissed furiously and pointed at her. "She must have become stuck in the Void, the place between the fade and the waking realm. Stupid woman, mages can die or worse bring things through!"

"Shut up Anders," Ami growled. She was now sitting up with a mug of water in her hand and passing it back to Reggie. "I've walked in that realm more often than you've had hot baths I'll bet. Arcane Warriors spend half our lifetimes in that realm don't try and lecture me on my methods, Spirit Healer."

Anders scowl set firmly on his face. "Oh don't thank me or anything for the nice job of healing you or anything. No, just condemn our concern for our insane Commander!"

Ami chuckled, then giggled then that giggle turned into a full throated laugh. "Oh I was right to have Markus recruit you!" she moved forward and placed an arm on his shoulder. "You are exactly like Wynne though your ways are far more refreshing."

"I don't see what's so funny!" he bellowed.

"I'm fine Anders and thank you for looking after me," she said standing slowly, she turned to Nathaniel. "You would like to talk? Then let us go for a walk," she looked at Cullen and smiled. "I will be back my love, I promise you."

Cullen grabbed her hand unwilling to let her go until she brought her other hand to cup his face and stared into his eyes.

"I promise. We have things to plan you and I," she grinned and placed his hand on her stomach letting it linger for a moment. She watched as he smiled and planted a kiss on her head before releasing her hand and letting her take a walk with Nathaniel.

Ami let the cold hit her and she took a deep breath before she followed after Nathaniel. She looked around the camp and took in its stillness and then returned her gaze to the waiting warden who looked back at her from the edge of the camp. She made her way to him calmly, her back straight and her head held high. She was a warden, a mother and soon to be a wife. She was the leader of the Grey and a senior Enchanter of the Circle of Magi and she was an Arcane Warrior battle mage. The enemy had allowed her a glimpse of the future, he had allowed her to follow his link and find the exact location of the rebels, however painful it might have been she had acquired this knowledge. As she approached Nathaniel a familiar shiver of excitement ran down her spine. The shiver of a well thought out plan that would see the end of this nightmare, one way or another.

"Commander."

Ami held up her hand before he could say anymore and she looked at him with a severity that she had only used possibly only twice before.

"What I will tell you will remain between us and no-one else, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes ma'am," he finally said. "Does this include Cullen?"

Ami smiled "It involved everyone Nate, not just Cullen. It is prudent that the true plan is not revealed to anyone who could become captured later and the real threat learned. Do you still wish to be part of this? There is no going back."

"Tell me."

"What do you know of Blood Magic?" she asked darkly.

* * *

_Ok sooooo Sorry it has taken me a while to update ... i am so so sorry. Life has gotten in the way, I started my new shiny job recently and also I've had a new story running around in my head that has been making me neglect this one ... i know its bad and i'm trying not to let it get in the way just that my writing seems to be coming in spurts and i just have to get what i can down at the time regardless what story it is. _

_Anyways i hope you have enjoyed, i know i am evil but i promise once Path is done i will continue with Path2 but I still need to think of a name for it. Any ideas feel free to send them my way, i love hearing from you guys! Oh Shout outs! **Shakespira, Sumovison, danitza81, karu0792, Caitlyn0623** and if i have missed anyone out tell me and i'll write you in :P Thank you soooo much for adding me faving the stories! Such awesome people you are! _

_ok, Review my lovelies! Mousemage_


	23. The Battle Lines Drawn

**23. The Battle Lines Drawn  
**

Alistair stood on the hill overlooking Highever Town. His group had arrived in due time but the darkening sky was beginning to worry him. Ami's group had not signalled their arrival and this had the young King concerned. He felt Leliana approach as he stared out at the open sky above the small city.

"She's probably just been delayed Alistair, it happens, I'm sure nothing is wrong." the bard said, trying to sound reassuring. If she had been anyone else Alistair may have believed her but he knew Leliana was only telling him what he wanted to hear.

"It's not that she's late Leliana, its the company she took with her." he replied, his eyes still searching the sky for any hint of a flare.

Leliana frowned, "She took who she thought was well suited. Also I can't see her wanting to put you in any necessary danger."

"Is that why she left me with everyone she trusts, to watch my back?" Alistair growled. "I've been the one playing politics, not her, and in politics there are very few people that you can count on to watch your back, loyalty is a word written in pencil, easily rubbed out."

Leliana placed a hand on the ex-templar's shoulder. "Trust her Alistair, she knows what she is doing."

"It's the Vigil Warden's that have me worried Leliana. We don't know them."

Leliana pouted "Ami does, in a way they remind her of the old days."

Alistair snorted and looked at her with a little annoyance. "We're old now are we Leliana?"

The bard let out a short laugh and nudged the ex-templar. "Not that old."

Their ease was broken by a matter-of-fact voice that broke through Alistair's already stretched patience.

"Why are we looking for a flare in the first place, is that not a little flamboyant and risky?"

Alistair inwardly shuddered at Morrigan's voice. Though he was able to mask the irritation of being stuck with the wilds witch, he could not shake the desire to hack at her head with his father's enchanted sword. But Ami would never forgive him and she was at least useful for something if not for her eloquence.

"Highever, has fireworks this time every year, though Ami's will be brighter and a different colour it wont be too noticeable." he answered stiffly.

Morrigan didn't reply but came to Alistair's other side to look at the sky. The young King bristled at her proximity but said nothing. The three companions stood, watched and waited until finally a bright green flash of light ran across the sky and exploded into a burst of light, sending little sparks everywhere. Leliana let out a long breath but she noticed that neither Alistair nor Morrigan looked more at ease. She watched as the young King looked at the wilds witch and nodded. Morrigan tilted her head in response before transforming into a raven and flew off in search of the Warden-Commander.

"What is it Alistair?" the bard asked, confused by the need to send Morrigan off in search.

The young King refused to look at her but kept his focus on the sky.

"I want to know what kept her, I'm taking no chances Leliana."

"She trusts them Alistair. Is that not enough?"

Alistair turned to look at her, a scowl on his face. In the firelight he looked more dangerous than Leliana had ever seen him and somewhere inside her a little part of her was frightened. "I would have been more comfortable if she had taken the blood mage than Howe." he hissed.

For a moment she was silent, letting his words sink in. "Thaaat is surprising."

Alistair cocked an eyebrow at her. "Yes it is isn't it."

The two companions stood in relative silence as they waited for the wilds witch to return, Leliana grew nervous but she didn't let it outwardly show. As a bird shaped Morrigan approached them and set down nearby the two waited, refusing to breath until the mage had transformed.

"Well?" Alistair said breaking the silence.

"They were delayed, as we thought," the mage stated simply. Leliana sighed with relief and smiled but noting the others grim expressions she knew that was not the complete story.

"What else Morrigan?" Alistair pressed.

The wilds witch huffed and scowled. "She went a wander in the void the foolish girl. She knows however, where exactly the rebels base is."

"That's good is it not?" Leliana offered.

Morrigan turned her dark glare on the Orlesian. "Not if she unintentional got herself stuck in that gods forsaken place."

"But you said she was fine!" Leliana protested.

"She is fine but it doesn't excuse the fact that she was reckless!" Morrigan hissed.

Alistair had been unnaturally quiet during the back biting but both Morrigan and Leliana could tell that he was thinking about it. His brown eye flicked between the two women and they both stood quiet, waiting and listening for the Warden-King to make his decision.

"Get everyone ready, we move out now."

~v~

River stood in her cell quietly excited. She had began pacing to try and ease her anxious mind from the growing feeling that her mother was close and on her way to find her. She knew what would happen if anyone dared try and stand in her way, blood would stain the steps and hallways of the cultists base, her mother would be deadly. As she turned in her hundredth walk around her cell the doors swung open and two grizzly men walked in. River looked between them, her arms now folded over her chest. The men were obviously brothers and hired hands. They were not the strange cultist types that she had seen during meal times. These men had seen death and both donned similar armour of studded leathers and fine leather fur-lined boots. River perked an eyebrow at one of the men as he gestured her to follow him while the other took up walking behind her.

"Zaphron wants to see you," the one in front grunted.

Hearing the cult leader's name sparked a vile barrage of emotions that River was unsure how to interpret. She loathed the man and as the twist and turns of the journey to his study her resentment of him only grew. As they twisted down another corridor they came to two large oak doors and River noted that their construction seemed similar to the ones within the tower, Tevinter or at least remnant of the old empire. The planks of wood were crawling in old ruins and magic that River doubted even her mother or Morrigan would understand. As she grew closer she could see that the ruins vibrated against her senses and the magic contained in them only hinted at their purpose. Her interest in them, however, was cut short as they slowly swung outwards if their own accord to reveal a large study with a large desk sat in the middle on a small platform. River stiffened as she saw Zaphron sitting at the desk scribbling away.

The cultist didn't even look up at her as he beckoned her forward into the room. River hesitated but after a brief moment she moved into the study, the large doors closing behind trapping her within and at Zaphron's mercy. Again the cultist didn't look up as he spoke softly to her.

"Welcome River, please let me pull you up a chair. I wish to talk to you."

With a bat of his hand a chair suddenly moved from the wall to the opposite side of the desk right in front of her. River's eyes narrowed at his casual use of magic but she remained silent and took a seat, her eyes never leaving the form of the old man. With her senses she searched out for the old god but could feel nothing of the dark presence. Zaphron looked up at her then from his writing and smiled crookedly.

"Don't worry child the master will not be joining us for our little chat." he said softly, trying to put her at ease. In fact the softer and gentler he spoke the opposite effect it had on her and River returned his gentle words with a glare. Zaphron sighed and put down his quill, drawing his hands together on the tall desk.

"I suppose you are wondering why I sent for you?" he began, eyes searching her frowning face for any hint of curiosity. She repaid his comment with a stony silence, her brown eyes burrowing into him. He made a sad noise after another moment of tense silence and then smiled. "I had you brought here to tell you, you will be returning home. I'm sure you can already feel your mother nearing the keep."

He watched as her eyes dropped slightly before looking back up at him so he continued. "The master has ordered you released as you are not ready yet for the task you are meant to do."

At that her already scowling face darkened and Zaphron could feel the restraint in her magic.

"So you tortured the templars and mages in the tower for what? Fun?" she hissed, springing out of the chair to pull herself to her full height. This arrogant, pathetic excuse for a servant of Andraste and the old gods dared to tell her that everything they had done, everyone they had hurt or possibly murdered was for nothing. She was to be sent home with nothing but a 'we'll see you soon, as your not quite ready for us'. "A simple spy would have been enough!" she spat, a small bit of saliva escaping her mouth.

Zaphron remained as if she had said nothing at all and continued on regardless. "The master is the only one that can tell if you are ready or not. We took you early because the Master did not quite understand mortal terms, being trapped and laying dormant until Asha's own magic surfaced." Zaphron leaned forward, willing her to understand he looked at her, seeing a lifetimes of work towards his goal sitting in front of him. "You have been given a chance and a choice. Be ready or be gone. I suggest you choose and work towards one wisely."

"My mother will kill you." she suddenly announced. "Her wrath I can taste, she won't be stopped once she breaks down those doors." River replied pointing behind her. "She'll protect me until her dying breath, so will others."

Zaphron grinned, "And how do you know that is not the plan of how things will go child? The blood spilt of mother and child?" he watched as doubt crossed her face. "Don't fret child, the doors will be open and only a few will fight and die as the rest flee with our master to train and prepare for when you and the others are ready."

River turned and walked towards the door, anger fuelling her steps. She turned over her shoulder and glared at the older mage. "I hope for your sake Zaphron we do not meet again," and without another word the doors opened and she walked out to her waiting guards.

Zaphron shook his head. "No child," he whispered. "We will not meet again," and he went back to his papers.

Moments went by until he felt the room suddenly go cold. A lifetime of work to get to this moment and he had set the girl that would determine the fruits of his labour free. How was that justified? The old mage leaned back into his chair and set his quill down for the last time. A cold hand rested on his shoulder and he knew the time had come.

"You have no fear Zaphron," Urthemiel said simply.

"I need not fear what I already know. I am ready for the journey my lord," the old mage replied with certainty.

"Stand then and rest old friend."

The mage complied and a moment later a small left hand delicately ran across the mages throat with a dagger while the other covered the wound, absorbing all the energy and life force the old mage had left. Once drained the lifeless body of what was once Zaphron, High Lord of the Children of Flame collapsed back into his chair as if he had simply fallen asleep at work.

The billowing robes of Urthemiel stepped confidently out from behind the mages chair. Her dark eyes shone with the new strength she had absorbed from her servant and without casting the body a second look she moved out and through the doors not even waiting for them to open.

"You will always be remembered my friend, you are with me always now."

~v~

Ami watched as Jowan's green flare across the sky illuminated her tense expression. Her friends arrival however did not bring her the comfort that she was desperately seeking. Ami sighed and unfolded her arms as she made her way back to her tent.

"Get ready to move out we leave as soon as we're able," she called to the others. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Cullen's grim expression and chose to ignore it as she pulled the flap of their tent closed.

Making her way to the far end she pulled out a bundle of leather-like garments and set them onto the bedroll unravelling the contents. Her dragonwing armour that Master Wade had made after the fall of the arch demon sat carefully wrapped inside. She ran her fingers over the vine engravings down the leather straps to the hilts of her enchanted short swords Starfang and Spellweaver. Ami sighed and let her fingers loosen the straps of her mage robes when she heard the flap of the tent shift to allow Cullen in. She glanced in his direction but didn't stop untying the laces.

"Armour? Really?" Cullen said breaking the silence.

"I'm being prepared this time. I don't want anything to happen." Ami replied.

Cullen moved to sit across from her and took her hands in his. "Ami you must let me in, I can't help if you don't talk to me."

Ami's eyes met his own and for a moment Cullen regretted being so blunt as the concentration in them was intense. She was already beginning to weave the arcanic spells she needed as warrior. She looked away and sat back, her hands still in his.

"I'm afraid so I'm being careful, I thought you'd understand with me being pregnant."

"I understand but you don't need to shut me out and its not just about you and the babies. River is mine too, even if our blood is different but I'm not loosing any of you."

A smile tugged at Ami's lips and the mage nodded. She looked up at her love, leaned forward and pecked him lightly on the cheek. "I know but this is something I must do. Can you go and see if Anders isn't being a girl and getting ready? Please."

Cullen frowned but nodded and eventually left the tent to do as she asked. Ami sighed and narrowed her eyes at her short swords. In a flash one was in her hand and she pointed it flat and at full length at her right side.

"Better men have tried to assassinate me Nate. Am I going to have to send you to them for lessons?" she remarked while looking straight ahead.

As the rogue appeared out of the shadows, Ami's blade resting painfully close to his throat, he grinned at her. "M' sorry Commander it was rude of me to enter unannounced but you wished to talk to me in private?"

Swiftly and cleanly Ami's sword disappeared as she re-sheathed it. Both her hands rested on the scabbard and she turned to the rogue. "Yes. I wanted your help, do you still wish to help?"

Nathaniel curled his hand into a fist, brought it to his chest and performed a short nod. As he looked back up at the mage he saw a slight smile appear at the edge of her lips before she abruptly turned and began lacing up her exceptional armour gauntlets. "Good, make sure Cullen," she stopped briefly. "Make sure he's kept busy warden," she looked at him her blue-grey eyes cold and deadly. "Or I will make certain that your soul is mine."

For not the first time Nathaniel felt the fear that Ami inscribed on him. Her eyes had the uncanny ability to somehow see into one's soul, see all that it had done and could, if she wanted to, use it to take over his will. It unsettled him greatly that she was using that power so freely and on him. He nodded again and took his leave of her but before he left he took one last look at her. She appeared almost like the rebel Queen of old, if she had been a mage of course. Her armour pristine but Nathaniel knew it had been used on a number of Warden missions and her skills with the blades were impressive, even for a mage. She refused to wear a helm however and instead she wore a black headscarf that kept the rogue curls out of her face and, as Nathaniel watched her, made her look slightly more dangerous, like a rogue pirate. She indeed looked the part but the Howe was concerned, she hadn't fully explained her plan to him and this worried him. He turned and walked off into the rest of camp, checking that the rest of their companions were prepared for the journey ahead.

Ami looked at one of her blades and in the quiet loneliness pressed her forehead against Spellweaver. The mage could faintly hear the hum of the blade as it rested against her skin, kin to kin. Spellweaver was the only sword she knew that still existed as an Arcane Warrior's weapon and it sang out to her like a beacon to a lost ship. It was an old friend. As she set it back into its scabbard the mage carefully fixed both swords to her baldric then swung the leather holster tying it secure before donning her cloak. The mage then stood still, her hand outstretched slightly as she cast out a wave of magic out into the tent before begin absorbed and it spread out along her armour and person, refitting her with an exterior skin than no-one not even Zevran's carefully honed blades could penetrate. Her eyes glowed for a moment as the magic seeped into every part of her and she exited the tent intent on getting to the fortress before morning.

~v~

River had began pacing again. Her meeting with Zaphron had unsettled her and she was finding it difficult to control her anger. She let out a deep huff of air and set down to try and calm herself by meditating. In her agitated state she found it difficult to grasp at the delicate state of peace but instead let her mind wander on its own around the room sensing the power around her. Another one of her mothers lessons. There was power contained in everything, she had said. From the green living plants to the grey stone itself, everything had power of some description. River found herself being drawn to the stone first, since she had not seen anything green at all since she had arrived here and it seemed to generate the most aura. She felt its heaviness and its durability but deep within she could feel its strength in the particles that shaped it. Suddenly, what she could only describe as a colour or sound attracted her senses. An element hidden within the stones own magic had caught her attention and if she hadn't let her mind wander she wouldn't have even noticed it.

Curious that the hidden magic contained in the stone might be related to those in the large oak doors of Zaphron's office, River pursued the dormant magic. River reached out with her mind but as she went to try and grasp the magic it went out. Confused River tried to summon it and though it quickly returned it had moved to an entirely different position, four rooms away with a faint trace of the magic leading from the original point to the new point. River quickly realised that it was some sort of map or path of magic and her curiosity grew. She was so enthralled by the discovery that she never even noticed the door of her cell opening and the Old God entering through the door. A flash of magic and River was sent sprawling over the ground to the far end wall. A yelp of pain as her body crashed against the stone wall escaped her lips and her opened eyes looked to the small yet intimidating body of her half-sister.

Asha's hands radiated an eerie red glow after casting at her and the demon possessed girl wasted no time in advancing towards her, a furious scowl on her face. As she approached River she made a gesture with the flick of her wrist and River was hauled to her feet by an invisible force. River attempted to struggle but the Old God only narrowed her eyes more, red pupils burrowing into her. River stayed her attempts and looked at her.

"One must not go snooping in others business Sister." It calmly said.

"No? Then tell me instead then so my curiosity is satisfied." River replied her own eyes narrowing at her sister.

The Old God growled. "I have been patient with your attitude but not for much longer."

With a swift and almost missed movement the Old God took hold of River's arm and held it tightly.

"You will learn soon enough that no matter where you go, who you are with, I will find you when the time comes. I will be complete again make no mistake River, my kind will return and you and your mothers pathetic excuse for _Wardens_ will bow and worship us like old."

River frowned at her sister, an untouched well of anger, hurt and pain bubbled to the surface and she hissed at her.

"I will kill you Urthemiel, make no mistake of that. I will be ready when you return. You have murdered so many, my sister included and I will not let it pass lightly."

Urthemiel huffed and River was sure she saw a flicker of fear in the demons eyes. The Old God twisted her captured arm and with a snap broke it. River screamed and as the Old God let her drop to the floor it turned and walked away before uttering one final warning.

"No, you won't child. You will grow and you will be strong but you will have no power to defeat my own." The Old God turned and looked at her one last time. "Until we meet again River Isla Amell-Theirin. I wish you every happiness."

Then she was gone.

~v~

Ami's mind was under attack. The pain was unimaginable, never had she felt such a barrage of agony both physically and emotionally. It felt like someone was trying to suck her soul, her memories and any secrets or information she had out through her nose and ears and then try and crush the remaining brain matter for any evidence of tampering. The intensity of the mind attack had Ami clamp her hands around her head and scream. In the background of it all she faintly remembered being pulled into someone's embrace but the pain was unbearable and she slumped to the ground somehow hoping that with her body contorted into a foetal position she would be spared any more torture.

Then suddenly it was gone, the pain stopped and only a fuzzy sensation settled on her senses.

She gasped for air and in the darkness could faintly make out the concerned faces of Nathaniel, Cullen and Anders.

"That ... bastard!" she finally managed through raspy breaths. Her eyes darted in all directions until she felt she could pull herself to her feet. A heavy but reassuring hand clamped on her shoulder and Cullen pulled her to face him.

"What, what happened?"

Ami panted, her breathing still heavy as the pain subsided and anger began to build.

"That bastard hurt her. He hurt River."

Cullen frowned, he knew the link was strong again but now it had somehow managed to share pain between the two. What did it mean? He looked at her closely, she was clearly shaken but now she had something else to set her already stained temper on edge. He nodded the others to carry on ahead and Nathaniel to go back down the path, he didn't want anyone circling them from behind.

"You need to stay focused." he said calmly. That earned him a furious look which quickly turned into a nodding head. He offered her an arm and let her walk next to him for a few moments before loosening his grip to steady her.

"You need to stay focused." he said again. "If he thinks he can distract you he's won."

"Don't you think I know that!" she snapped and then afterwards looked regretful. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I know your tired and this is just another thing to try and set you off." he replied sadly.

Ami frowned and nodded. "Thank the Maker your here. I couldn't do this on my own."

"I wouldn't let you do it on your own, never," Cullen smiled, he pulled her close and hugged her as best he could with the templar armour and they continued to walk towards the rebel base. Ami held back and waited for Nathaniel to catch up with her as Cullen continued on to catch the others ahead.

"Commander?" the rogue questioned. Ami could see the concern in his eyes and held up her hand.

"I'm fine Nate. Fine, I've just been given more of an incentive to find her and this demon."

The rogue nodded and stepped in-line with her as they walked on. A few minutes of awkward silence passed and Nathaniel couldn't understand if it was what she wanted until she stopped for a moment her eyes concentrating on something far off in the distance. She was listening, whether it be something natural or magic she was intent on listening to it.

"He is far enough away for us to talk of my plan." she said quietly, almost to herself. Then she turned to him, that unnerving look on her face. She reminded him of a hunger demon he and the Vigil wardens had faced in the deep cellars of the fortress, her eyes and face turned in a way that almost looked as though she was about to shed her human skin and consume him. Nathaniel shuddered hoping that she wouldn't notice but the Warden-Commander made no outward sign that she had seen his moment of fear. She looked back to where she could sense Cullen walking away from them and spoke.

"The techniques I will use are Avernus's," she began. "They are a form of blood magic but their power derives from the taint and so are more poisonous."

"You mean the Darkspawn plague?"

He watched as she nodded but did not turn to look at him. "Yes, but those that suffer these techniques suffer spirit damage and also their life source. They die before they can spread the sickness."

She paused a moment glancing in his direction to see if he was still listening.

"One of the techniques however does inflict damage to myself. That's why I need you to stick close by without being seen, if I am injured I will not have the sufficient strength to undo the spell and heal myself. Understand?"

Nathaniel nodded. "Then why not ask Cullen?"

"Cullen has already suffered enough with Blood Magic, it is something I would rather he not see I use."

"He doesn't know."

Ami shook her head. "He knows, not just how powerful and deadly they are."

Nathaniel frowned. Why was she so intent on doing things alone or with little help but his question would never be answered, he knew that. They would never be close, not like her and Cain or Jowan. He looked at her, a women his equal but had seen and done more than he would never be able to even begin to understand its complexity and how it intertwined with everything else. It was nothing short of a miracle that she was alive herself and yet here she was doing it all over again but this time it was for personal gain, her own flesh and blood.

"Well?" she asked breaking his train of thought. He made a noise and Ami tutted. "Do you still wish to help or am I going to have to puppet train you?"

"I will do as you ask Commander but-"

"But?"

"But," ignoring her interruption. "If it comes to it and Cullen asks me I will not lie."

The condition seemed to stop her for a moment he noticed and she seemed to be trying to work out if it was worth turning him into her thrall or not. Reluctantly, it seemed, she agreed as her hands finally rested on her hips and turned to face him fully. It was all in the body language, she knew she didn't need to say any more than that and with a nod she moved onto catch up with the rest.

As he looked up to the horizon Nathaniel could just make out the tallest spire of the rebel base. It would not be long now.

~v~

"You swear! You swear it will be better for him!" cried the young woman.

"I swear it." the cloaked figure replied sat in the high-backed chair.

The room was one of the large assembly rooms that the residents used as a place to hold gatherings and large feasts the young woman remembered. She was nothing but a maid and cleaner in the fortress, nothing, she was no-one. Yet the new master of the house had ordered her here after one of the senior housekeeping staff had mentioned her boy, her darling Quinn. The master, as always, remained covered up with only his eyes visible and wrapped in layers of fabrics. The young brunette was being offered an opportunity to partake in some ritual but that if anything untoward happened the boy would be fine and raised by the master. Though the 'offer' was more of a demand than a choice. The master practically had her dragged from her quarters to the assembly room by some of the thugs that had recently joined the order.

The very presence of the master sent her senses tingling, even seated he was intimidating. She didn't want to ask what the ritual entailed but knowing on the deeds of the order she would be allowed no such privilege. Hera had no choice but to agree but they didn't have to know that fully otherwise they wouldn't be going along with this show of 'choice'. She bravely looked up at her master and his underlings that flanked him on either side. The ten white-robed and masked men flanked the black-robed leader and stood silently waiting, expectantly for her answer. She looked down at her feet and pulled at the hem of her apron.

"H-He's to be raised in the house, not anywhere else and he, he's to know me, even if I don't survive!" she cried.

The figure nodded its head. "It will be done child, have no fear."

"Promise, swear that you will give him this," Hera asked. Her hands went delicately to her neckline and she pulled out a cord of leather with a small metal pendant-locket. The symbol was a simple interlocking knot design that spanned the entire locket, back and front but it now no longer opened. She took a step towards the cloaked figure but then thinking better of it moved to one of the closest white-robed underlings.

As he took it the young woman burst into tears but quickly clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound as she withdrew back into the chambers centre. She knew, deep down that she would never see her little one again but if her sacrifice gave him the chance to learn, read and write with a whole world of opportunities at his feet then she would gladly give it.

"Then … then we are agreed then. T-Thank you ser," and she bowed and left.

Behind the cloak, the Old God smiled at the retreating damned woman. She had no idea what she had just given him. No idea that she had provided the final link in the first of many plans for River and her kin.

* * *

_Ok Apologies greatly for not uploading sooner. I actually had this chapter finished ages ago and then my hard drive decided to die on me so I had to start all of this again. Ok so in this chapter we have the run down to the final slaughter of the rebels and hopefully it has went well and you have all enjoyed it. Please please comment or have any ideas or any suggestions what so ever i appreciate them all. I shall hopefully find the stamina to get this story finished and the sequal started properly. With that in mind, thanks for reading. _

_Mousemage_


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